Kara had left that night soon after their talk, the exhaustion from the weekend finally having surpassed her limit of keeping her eyes open. They said farewells at Lena's door and Kara pulled her in close for a long appreciative hug, hands gently squeezing just that little bit more before they finally separated completely. After she left and Lena was alone in her quiet apartment she couldn't help think back on what Kara had said. There was something in the way Kara looked at her that held an unstated promise. A small part of her heard the insinuation that night, but she refused to entertain the idea, because it had been two days. Two days since Kara's breakup. There were too many raw emotions Kara was still trying to cope through and Lena didn't want to add any of her own assumptions on top of that.
In the end all that tossing and turning didn't matter.
When she woke up the next morning, it was to an email notification getting word that the proto-therapy machine was finally ready for more rounds of stress testing. Then, if successful, ready to be rolled out and launched later that week. The entire week leading up to the launch had her completely consumed with work and all thoughts of that conversation fell to the back of her mind as she was forced to focus on the mountains of paperwork that still needed to be done.
By the next week all hell seemed to break loose as the preliminary testings failed yet again and their launch date was delayed. Henry and Brainy had a promising solution but it would require at least another week's worth of research and development.
She sighed heavily as she rubbed the bridge of her nose to ward off the headache that was looming. She was tired, but with Marketing hounding her on branding, Brainy needing her to approve and do more testings down in the labs, Randy from her legal team on her heels about the patents and licensing she had requested, on top of all her other everyday tasks, she was spread so thin she barely had any time to herself. Kara had called a few times throughout the week wanting to get together for lunch or after work, but she had to turn her down each time because of one reason or another.
Kara was understanding and accepted her apologies with the promise of meeting up as soon as things settled back down. Lena , however, struggled with her own disappointment despite her best efforts to shrug it off. She had gone too long waiting for just this kind of chance to spend more time with Kara and the timing was atrocious. The only solace being the midnight phone calls she and Kara would share before Lena inevitably would pass out from sheer exhaustion.
"I wish there was something I could do to help." Kara said late one such evening. "I miss seeing you."
"Believe me if you could find a way to mimic the proto radicals within the suit Brainy designed to the organic alloy Henry invented so that they responded and worked as one cohesive piece I'd be handing you an all access badge tonight." Lena said in all seriousness.
"Suit? I thought it was a machine you were working on."
Lena readjusted on her bed and lay back against the headboard more comfortably. "Essentially that's what it is, but it's…also not? It's kind of evolved into a living metal suit of sorts, well if we can get it to work properly." She added snidely as the irritation of all the problems and delays seeped into her tone.
"With you there, I'm sure you'll have it solved by tomorrow." Kara assured confidently and Lena couldn't help the warm smile that spread across her tired features. "Then maybe I can finally see you." Kara added softly.
"You have no idea how good that sounds." Lena sighed as she held back a yawn with her hand. "I've missed seeing your pretty face." Lena mumbled sleepily.
"What?" Kara asked.
There was silence on the other end.
"Lena?"
"Lena, you still awake?"
A soft sigh and a grumble sounded.
"Sweet dreams, Lena."
She hated it. It had been so long since they really had quality one-on-one time, and Kara was offering it up to her practically daily now and she couldn't do anything about it. She had responsibilities she couldn't set aside. Kara understood of course, but it didn't ease the pressure off her chest or the longing she also had to see her as well. The short phone calls were like a life line that she clinged to and it seemed Kara felt the same.
Her frustration about it was starting to show visibly once the newest delay happened and she had to turn Kara down again as it had now warped into three weeks since they had last seen each other in person. Three grueling, long, agonizing weeks with her head stuck in paperwork.
"Again?" Kara said and Lena could hear how hard Kara struggled to not let her disappointment show. Lena frowned into the phone as she threw her pen in frustration.
"I'm so sorry Kara. I was actually looking forward to lunch today, but something came up with the youth center and Diana only has this time available to meet to discuss the issue."
"O-Oh." Kara said hesitantly. Lena winced at her slip up, she hadn't intended on mentioning who she was having to meet with, but she was just so exhausted. "Is everything ok?"
Lena sighed. "There's a problem with the inspection, some building codes that aren't being met, and — well it's all very logistical and I don't want to bore you with details." Lena said as she rubbed the space between her eyes to alleviate a brewing headache.
"I doubt you could. You could literally read me the inspection report and I'd bet I'd find it interesting." Kara quipped.
"I highly disagree." Lena said with a light chuckle. She sat back in her chair and breathed in happily as she relished this small moment of reprieve with Kara.
"As long as I get to hear it from you." Kara stated affectionately, "Everything you say is captivating." Lena sucked in a bated breath as she let that sentiment settle over her.
A light rustling noise followed by lots of wind had shifted her attention and Lena leaned back in her chair craning her neck to look behind her out at the city. "Did you just—are you flying?"
"I'm — falling…with style." Kara said cheekily.
"Oh ok, Buzz, just make sure you stick the landing." Lena said amusedly.
"As you wish." Kara said happily.
"Supergirl duties or are you out patrolling?" Lena questioned, as she watched the skyline wondering if she'd see a Kara shaped dot somewhere in the distance.
"I'm actually meeting up with Alex. I have a… mission that I need to brief her on." Kara said and Lena missed the slight hesitation in her voice because at that very moment she saw a figure hovering in the distance a few miles away.
"Be careful, I'd hate for you to fall prey to some alien or fifth dimensional imp or something else crisis worthy and further delay our plans of getting together soon." Lena teased.
"Oh raging sea lions couldn't keep me away." Kara said emphatically causing Lena to laugh and Kara chuckled in return.
She heard a soft knock at her door and spun in her chair as Diana stepped in quietly giving her a small smile.
Lena hesitated then spoke quickly, "Um, I have to go now, Diana just arrived. I'll see you soon, ok, I promise."
"Oh, yeah." And Lena pinched her lips into a thin line at hearing the disappointment in Kara's voice at their phone call coming to an end so soon. "Of course. Bye Lena."
"Bye Kara." Lena said apologetically.
Lena put her phone down and glanced up at Diana and was surprised when she took in her expression. Her face had fallen minutely and her body had gone stiff. "Hi Diana, it's been a while."
"Yes it has." Diana said, she gave her a warm smile, but Lena could see the tension behind it. Being somewhat of an expert herself on repressed emotions, she saw through Diana rather easily. "I trust you're well?" Diana asked and Lena nodded distractedly, then realizing what Diana had asked she laughed and shook her head.
"Actually to be honest I've been rather busy, haven't really had a moment to myself for a while now, but things are finally starting to slow down some." She smiled and walked around her desk to meet Diana closer to where she stood, who still lingered closer to the office door and the sofa as if not sure whether or not she wanted to commit to staying for an extended period of time.
To Lena's relief her honesty seemed to put Diana more at ease, but her gaze was intent on Lena and scrutinizing. They stood in silence for a moment and Diana clenched and unclenched her fists quickly as she blinked out of whatever thoughts she seemed preoccupied with. "Well I'm sorry to hear that." She said kindly her face softening just a little bit more as she began to relax a little more.
"Well it's no excuse for my own failings as a friend." Lena said apologetically and Diana furrowed her brow in confusion. "I'm sorry Diana, I know how hard this has been on Kara, but I haven't even asked how you must be feeling."
"Right." Diana said and her tone was flat, a look of sorrow flashed across her eyes before she crossed her arms protectively over her chest and cleared her throat. "To be quite honest I'd rather not talk about Kara. Why don't we just get started shall we?" She smiled back at Lena, trying to mask her discomfort at the subject before breaking eye contact and finding a spot on the sofa to sit.
Lena frowned and sat across from her in one of the arm chairs. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine." Diana replied swiftly.
Lena's frown deepened. She saw Diana's face fall slightly and felt a pang of sadness for her. "Are you sure you're ok?" Lena asked again. Diana's lip twitched, but otherwise she remained stoic, her arms tightening just that little bit more across her chest.
"Diana." She said it softly, but still leveled a look at her that said she wasn't fooled. They had grown close over the past few months. With all the meetings, lunches and gatherings, she had come to consider her a close friend. Due to her currently crazy schedule, however, she was severely lacking in her social calls, giving what little spare time she did have to Kara only and even that was limited to sporadic phone calls and missed lunches. So it was nice to see her, even though it had been a month.
For a moment Diana looked like she was going to dig her heels in and display a rare form of stubbornness, but her expression turned soft and then pained before she sighed and deflated. "I'm sorry. This feels like a mistake. I thought I could handle this."
Lena leaned forward in her seat and looked at her with genuine concern. "Diana, what is it? What can I do to help?" Lena asked.
Diana scoffed and rolled her eyes before a deprecating smile crossed her face and she looked Lena in the eye. "It's ironic that you would be the one to try and help me."
Lena looked at her confused trying not to be overly offended by the comment. "I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean by that."
Diana nodded, her eyes shifting to the side as she stared off distantly. "No, you wouldn't. Would you?" She chuckled sadly. "You know, you probably shouldn't be the person that hears this." Diana licked her lips and straightened as she looked at Lena. "Then again you may be the only one who needs to hear it."
Lena sat silently as she listened, her heart started beating more erratically despite not having a clue what Diana was about to say. "I wasn't planning on having this conversation with you, truthfully it's still a bit painful, but I really do cherish the relationship we've built over the course of these last several months. I think its only fair I don't leave you in the dark." Diana looked at her with sincerity and Lena tried to look reassuring but she was having a hard time trying to listen without feeling the need to be on some sort of defensive with the way Diana spoke.
"I appreciate that." Lena stated cautiously.
"I'm not fond of sharing when it pertains to my personal life." Diana started, clearly wanting to preface what she was about to say with the disclaimer. "Especially when it comes to those I care deeply for. And Kara is no exception of that…" Diana sighed heavily and Lena tried her best to remain perfectly still as she gave her undivided attention. "I didn't want it to end. I loved her." Upon seeing the shock on Lena's face Diana softened. "I tried telling her so. That night after the Gala. She just didn't feel the same way." Diana looked down at this, hiding her face and the pain she felt at the admission. Lena was stunned into silence. Kara didn't go into detail that night, and Sam wasn't really sure what had happened either, but knowing that Diana's feelings had progressed that far and Kara didn't reciprocate them left Lena feeling…she didn't know how that made her feel.
"I'm sorry Diana." Lena said not knowing what else she could say.
Tears fell from Diana's face as she looked down at this confession. "I've had a month to come to terms with it. I wouldn't say it's any easier today, but I'm learning to move on." Lena listened silently, she hadn't anticipated this, not from Diana.
"She didn't love me." Diana's chin wavered as she whispered her devastating reality, her eyes boring into Lena's desperate for her to understand. "It was never me." She said brokenly as she wiped her face.
"I'm so sorry Diana, truly. I can't even fathom what you must be going through." Lena said sincerely, because if she were in Diana's position and Kara had turned her love down, the thought alone made Lena's eyes water. Just imagining it was unthinkable, having to go through it would be horrifying.
"Well I truly doubt you will ever have to find out. For that, I guess I'm at least happy for you." Diana said sadly but she offered up a fleeting smile. Lena wasn't sure what to make of that statement but took it at face value and gave her own reassuring smile in return.
"But we aren't here to discuss my lack of a love life now are we?" Diana said effectively ending the conversation on Kara smiling as she shook off her sadness.
"No, but you are my friend Diana, as is Kara. I care about you both and I know this hasn't been easy on either of you." Lena said in understanding.
"And it's appreciated, but I really don't think I can bear talking much more on the subject with you, so let's change it." Diana said and Lena could see the pleading look on her face and so she quickly nodded her agreement. "On one condition; that you know that I'm here for you too Diana, so if you ever do need to talk, about anything, I'm a phone call away." Diana's eyes watered at that but she held back the tears from falling as an unreadable turmoil danced in her eyes when she met Lena's. She nodded and Lena reached out and touched her hand gently squeezing it, offering up what little comfort she felt she was allowed before straightening and shifting gears.
"So the youth center?" Lena asked and Diana smiled and relaxed as she got started on the finer details that needed to be sorted through.
There was an unspoken thing happening now. Little gestures that spurred the other to return the favor in kind. It was always something simple. Nothing overtly different from how they normally were around each other, only now there was something in their exchanges that alluded to more. It was new, exciting, and very confusing.
She was right in the middle of reviewing the patents Randy had submitted for their S.T.E.E.L project, marketing having finally branded the new proto therapy machine with an official name, when she heard a familiar thud of boots landing on the balcony behind her. She swirled around in her chair raising a brow at the most ridiculous sight, as Kara nearly stumbled through the balcony doors fumbling with one of the largest teddy bears she had ever seen. Her face buried in fur and red boots and blue arms the only visible appendages Lena managed to see.
"Kara?"
"Hhhmmppfy fmmmhhpa mma mmmm!"
"What?" Lena laughed as she pulled her chair away from the desk standing up as she watched Kara set the large bear into the arm chair across from her desk a giant smile lighting up her face as she swirled back around to face Lena, the curls in her hair bounced happily in an arch at the sudden turn and her arm stretched out at the giant bear in a very Vanna White pose. "Happy Valentine's Day!"
Lena crossed her arms as she took in the white bear that was practically swallowing her chair whole, "Valentines day?" Lena asked hesitantly, an amused smile still stretched across her face but her eyes conveyed the confusion clearly as Kara became instantly more vibrant. "First off hi." Kara said happily and her bubbly energy was just too infectious not to get wrapped up in as well.
"Hi." Lena replied back happily, unable to remove her eyes from Kara. It was almost like a dream, it had been too long between seeing each other and therefore she couldn't be blamed for the words that naturally fell from her mouth with quiet ease. "I missed you."
Those three words seem to light Kara up from the inside out. "I missed you too." She said sincerely and her eyes lingered on Lena's for a moment longer. "Which is why I decided to take matters into my own hands finally and bust in here unannounced like I used to do on account of it being a special occasion!" Her eyebrows raised high as her hands naturally found her hips like they normally did when she was in her supergirl regalia.
Lena smiled contentedly. Kara's impromptu visits had stopped after everything had happened, lunches and get-togethers had to be planned neither one wanting to infringe on their delicately balanced and renewed friendship. So the sentiment was clear, this wasn't just about Valentines, this was reclaiming another aspect of their friendship that had been lost. The realization of that made Lena's heart flutter and her eyes held Kara's as that recognition passed between the two of them unspoken.
"I see." She said tenderly as the moment became all the more special. Lena blinked out of it as quickly as she could but the blush on Kara's face suggested she had been staring longer than what might be considered appropriate. She quickly averted her attention to the giant bear in the room. "Well you certainly went with a grand gesture. I'm not sure what to say."
"Please don't feel obligated to keep it." Kara said quickly. She laughed as she looked at the monstrous stuffed animal. "I seriously don't know where you'd even put it. The idea of it living somewhere in your penthouse just…" Kara giggled with abandon as she imagined it and Lena's grin widened all the more at the beautiful sound. "It's so ridiculously large isn't it?" Kara observed, looking suddenly sheepish. One of her hands left her hip to scratch the back of her head as she took a proper look at the gift.
Lena chuckled as she drew closer to the bear and Kara. "I think it probably required an entire field of cotton to stuff." She mused. Kara laughed and took her own step closer to Lena now standing about an arm's distance apart. They let the moment sit for a bit and Kara searched Lena's eyes and then shifted as she laughed nervously.
"I guess I didn't think this completely through…you're probably busy, and I kinda showed up unannounced, I just thought…" Kara trailed off suddenly looking nervous and Lena smiled warmly as she turned slightly to face her better. Kara smiled as she looked at Lena and shrugged "I guess I thought it could make you smile, and it did, which made it worth it."
Lena bit her lip to try and keep her smile from growing and Kara shook her head. "Don't do that, don't hide it." She said softly as she stared at Lena with a look that made Lena's stomach flip and she felt her face heat up at the attention Kara was suddenly giving her.
Lena opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly as she stared back at Kara in awe. Then to the detriment of her heart, Kara took another step closer, an expression on her face that had Lena take a bated breath as her face drew nearer. Lena was frozen in place as Kara leaned further in. Against Lena's will, her eyes drifted down to quickly enclosing lips and her eyes fluttered as her brain short circuited. Before she knew it she was wrapped in strong arms and Lena breathed out. Whether it was in relief or disappointment she wasn't sure, because her brain was too focused on soft hands crossed behind her back holding her close. She was silently thanking her past self for deciding on a dress this morning that had a rather large cut out in the back, because she could feel each of Kara's fingertips as they splayed out across the great expanse.
"Well, now I feel I have to make it up to you." Lena finally said as she got her bearings back, clearing her throat gently hoping the goose bumps on her skin weren't as visible as they felt.
Kara smiled mischievously at her and winked before she hovered effortlessly in the air and glided back out to the balcony. "I'll see you soon, Lena." With that she disappeared in a blink and Lena spent the next ten minutes looking out at the city, her mind reeling with so many unanswered questions.
The rest of Lena's day was completely upended, sufficiently distracted from doing any work. If her eyes weren't staring at her new office mate, her mind was playing on loop that entire interaction repeatedly from start to finish.
The following Monday started off much like the previous week. Lena woke up to her curtains being drawn and the morning sun peaking over the horizon in the distance. She rose slowly from the bed and got herself ready for a day full of meetings.
It was when she walked into her office to get her morning started when she found a single white plumeria flower in a skinny vase displayed proudly at the center of her desk, that her attention had been piqued. She walked over to it studying it curiously, noticing that there was no card attached, just the flower.
Her favorite flower.
"Jess?" Lena called out as she lightly touched one of the pedals. Jess poked her head in the door soon after her, "Yes, Miss Luthor?" Lena looked up and was a little surprised to hear the reply in a muffled manner until she saw she had pulled her away from her breakfast.
"Is this from you?" Lena questioned, though she knew already it wasn't. She just couldn't bring herself to ask the question out right for fear of being disappointed. Jess stepped into the room with a box in her hand and smiled. "No, Kara was here about an hour ago, she dropped it off along with these." Jess walked the box over to Lena. She handed the white board box off quickly, stepping back again as she took another bite out of the chocolate donut she still had in her other hand. "She gave me a box as well." She said happily. Lena looked at her assistant and smiled before focusing her attention on the box now in her hand. Opening it she saw an assortment of half a dozen donuts and couldn't help the grin that pulled her lips upward at the surprising gesture. "She said for me to tell you, and I quote, 'Don't pretend you won't eat them, we all know you love them. So do yourself a favor and eat the strawberry filled one now, which I…" Jess put hand up to the side of her face and mouthed 'Kara'… "know are your secret favorites." And well, who was Lena to turn down a free breakfast?
Lena laughed as she touched the box gingerly with new appreciation and shook her head amusedly. "Thank you, Jess."
"You got it boss." Jess said and took a firm bite out of her donut and grinned happily before turning in her heels, exiting the office.
Lena texted a picture of the flower and the sugary donut she had selected to Kara with a heart emoji and Kara replied soon after with a wink face and a kiss face, which wasn't unusual by itself, but Lena couldn't help the swoop feeling that happened when she got the second text: your favorite flower for my favorite person. P.S. I see you went with the cinnamon sugar just to spite me. Consider me smote, smotten? Smitten? Definitely smitten! It was endearing and sweet and so completely Kara that Lena read the message a few times before she finally averted her attention to her emails. Lena couldn't really be blamed for the permanent grin that lasted the rest of the day each time her eyes caught sight of the glimmer of petals shining in the sunlight.
This went on for the next several days, lasting well into the next weekend. Lena wasn't complaining, all this attention from Kara was not only welcomed, but a pleasant change of pace. Their phone calls lasted well past midnight regularly now. Lunches were finally reestablished, but her favorite time of the week were Friday night movie nights. Kara had insisted upon them and Lena wasn't going to refuse any time that she could spend in her presence.
It was when they were watching a thriller late one such evening, something new started. It was late, they were both very tired from their respective days and so the movie itself was more background noise than entertainment. They were talking about a bunch of nothing and Kara, being overly animated with her hands, accidentally knocked her glass of water all over her side of the couch.
Rather than moving to the perfectly dry armchair, she just threw a towel over the wet cushion and scooted over to sit closer to Lena. This in and of itself was not significant, but as the night went on and the conversation lulled their attention turned back to the movie, Kara's head began to nod. Eventually her head and body gave in to sleep and sank further into the couch and consequently Lena's side.
She sat frozen for a few minutes, not sure whether or not to wake her or remain silent and let her sleep. Sleep in the end won the argument in her head and she gently pulled the blanket from the back of the couch to wrap around Kara, and since the motion caused Kara's head to fall into the space between her shoulder and chest she decided to just rest that arm around Kara as she watched the rest of the movie.
She tried not to let the moment affect her. She tried to keep her fingers from running in light circles across Kara's arm as she slept solidly at her side. She tried not to let her mind drift into daydreams of this being a life she could have. She tried and tried and tried until she fell asleep herself, her body nestling in comfortably next to the woman who had claimed a space in her heart.