Kara wakes up with the sun. Always has. It's involuntary, having no control over the surge of energy she gets the moment the first rays of light shine down on her face. This particular morning is no different, her body naturally begins to stir when those first few beams find her nestled comfortably in her apartment.
She still feels heavy laden with sleep, her mind in that space between dreams and wakefulness. So when her fingers gently curl against soft skin she doesn't quite register the reality of it. The touch is light and she nearly hums in contentment when the touch is gently reciprocated, the hand beneath hers moving just as lazily as fingers softly tangle and untangle in slow intrinsic patterns. The pads of Lena's fingers brush feather light against the palm of Kara's hand and it almost tickles before their fingers lazily interlace and settle back down on Lena's stomach. The thought has Kara smiling before she sucks in a sharp breath at the realization, her mind now more alert.
Her first thought, the prevailing thought, amongst the hundreds currently swirling in her head is that Lena is still here.
It's morning, and Lena is still here, holding her hand.
She licks her lips as she slowly realizes the gravity of the situation. This has never happened before. She must have fallen asleep during the movie. Lena too for that matter. She takes a few more calming breaths. Lena's breaths are even and slow, her heartbeat steady and sure and Kara can actually feel the strong beats against her cheek because she's in a position that allows her to. And that, that does something to her when she takes a moment to absorb that reality. She was nestled into Lena's side so firmly, that every breath, every beat, every movement was shared between the two of them. Kara's hand, now interlaced loosely with Lena's across her stomach, nearly twitched with the need to pull her in impossibly closer. She hadn't meant to fall asleep and awake in this current position but she was by no means complaining about it. Her stomach twisted with the next thought as she worried about Lena's reaction to their current predicament.
Lena moves again in her sleep, her body shifting slightly more inward toward Kara and her head falls forward. Small puffs of air disturb the hairs on top of Kara's head in an even pattern as Lena's chest rises and falls with each breath. Kara tilts back to better look at the gentle features and her hand moves on its own accord, untangling itself from Lena's as she sweeps some hair off her face to see it more clearly. The moment she does she hears Lena's heart beat faster. Kara curses the move silently as she realizes she accidentally woke her up the moment Lena begins to stir. Her eyes flutter open as she stretches and just as abruptly stills once she feels the weight currently resting on her side. Kara quickly moves her hand back to where it rested on top of Lena's, then panics when Lena's body jumps and her breath catches at the surprise contact. Lena looks down suddenly, her expression a mixture of surprise and dawning realization as she meets Kara's eyes staring back up at her with a shy grin on her face. "Um, Morning." Kara said hesitantly, her voice coming out in a low tember, not yet warmed up for the day.
Kara senses the building tension in Lena's muscles, as if she's afraid to make any sudden moves and quickly maneuvers herself up and into a sitting position. Lena hesitates, a look of apprehension sweeps over her face. "Morning."
She laughs nervously and runs her fingers through her hair as Lena takes the moment to readjust on the sofa, pulling herself up slowly as she gathers her bearings. "Sorry, I didn't realize I had fallen asleep."
"Me either." Lena says quietly. Her hands raked through her dark tresses and pushed them to the side and over her left shoulder in one motion. Kara's eyes lingered on the move and the gentle slope of neck that had just been exposed. She really was the most stunning woman she had ever known. She'd always realized that, but seeing her in the morning light, just as she wakes for the day, those tender features yet to be marked with their normal shield, Kara found herself without words.
"I - Uh," Kara watches as Lena starts looking away, busying herself with straightening out her clothes but she hasn't moved from the couch yet, which was good. Then worries when she sees the conflict in Lena's eyes nearly hidden from view by a curtain of hair. "I hope you slept ok." Lena looked up at Kara with an almost shy expression, if she could even call it that, having never seen or known Lena to ever be shy. "I've been told I can be unbearably hot to sleep next to." Kara added.
"I–um…" Lena furrowed her brow and tilted her head just slightly as she gave Kara an appraising look before she finally couldn't help the smile curling at the edges of her lips. "I slept alright." She stated simply, cautiously and did her best to keep the grin from growing.
Kara sighed in relief before nodding her head, her whole upper body following in the movement. "Good, good." She pointed to herself. "So not a sauna on a sweltering summer day in the middle of a dessert?"
"What?" Lena asked and nearly laughed at the random analogy, but it provoked a wide relieved smile from Kara. Good. She's smiling, that's…good.
"Nothing, nevermind. Something Alex used to say…" Kara said quickly before clicking her tongue as she tried to think of a way to skate past the awkwardness she was suddenly feeling. "So, ha…eh…" She slapped her hands down on her thighs nervously and shrugs. "Well, seeing as how this is new territory for us, the sleeping together thing…" She flushes and pales simultaneously the moment Lena arched an eyebrow. "Not, um, no. Not what I meant…Holy moly…" How is it possible for that eyebrow to rise higher? Lena's lips purse together amusedly as she fumbles further into abject horror and humiliation. "Rao, I only meant that we've never slept before." She squints and shakes her head as if to clear her brain from her own stupidity. "Together. Slept together. No wait, still wrong." Lena finally can't help the small chuckle that rises from her throat and she puts her fingers lightly over her lips to try to contain it.
"You're pretty bad at this." Lena says fondly her voice soft and amused.
Kara might die now. She sighs and very intentionally looks Lena in the eyes and Lena looks back with silent challenge. "What I'm trying to say, so very ineloquently, is that I don't know your morning routine."
"It's Saturday, Kara." Lena said slowly as she put her out of her misery by taking over the conversation. She turned slightly on the couch, her knee coming up and barely brushing against her own and she couldn't help look down where they were now connected. She tried to ignore the rising heat coiling low in her belly at such an innocent point of contact and focus instead on what Lena was saying. "I don't have to work today, so I usually just sleep in, drink some coffee, read the morning news, then maybe tinker in my lab or review any new proposals."
Kara stared back at her with a horrified expression, all other thoughts now secondary to her bewilderment. "You work on your days off too?"
Lena laughed and swatted her knee playfully with her hand at the outburst. "I mean, yeah, generally… If I don't already have any other plans."
"Like what?" Kara asked intrigued.
"Like spending time with —" Lena stopped and her playful smile froze as a deep blush bloomed on her cheeks and she quickly stared down at her hands. Dread settled in the pit of Kara's stomach.
"Andrea?" She guessed. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have–" Kara said quickly, feeling incredibly foolish for asking.
Lena looked up in surprise and chuckled, shaking her head. "No, no. Andrea and I rarely spent an entire day together. Just nights mostly…" The expression on her face was almost regretful like she hadn't wanted to share that particular fact. Kara swallowed her own discomfort down and silence took over the room.
"Plans with you." Lena said quietly, before meeting Kara's eyes and speaking with a little more boldness. "If I do anything, it's almost always with you." Kara smiled softly at that and opened her mouth to speak only to close it when she watched as Lena looked up for a second and tilted her head appearing deep in thought. "Or Sam, during soccer season, I tend to meet up with her in the afternoons to watch Ruby play." Lena amended. Kara nodded and was about to say something in return when Lena interrupted again, smiling mischievously as she added "Well, there's also the once a month thing me and Nia get together for…but other than that–"
"Ok, ok I get it. Your Saturdays aren't always dull and boring and filled with paperwork." Kara rolled her eyes with feigned exasperation and Lena couldn't help the laugh that fell from her lips. Kara chuckled and shook her head, the awkwardness of the morning falling away easily as they easily moved on from it. "Ok so, seeing as how you're here currently, and its…" She checked her watch quickly, "just about seven, what do you say to coffee, I can whip up some breakfast, while you read your boring news…" It was Lena's turn to roll her eyes and Kara smiled happily at that. "Then after maybe, if you aren't already occupied, we could maybe spend the day together, maybe?" Kara asked hopefully and pretended like she hadn't just said 'maybe' a bajillion times in one sentence like a hopeless nincompoop. She felt her hands ball into fists at her knees apprehensively, nervous for no other reason than the fact that today and it's plans all now hinged on what Lena said next, and her own strong desire for it to be her she chose to spend her precious time with.
Lena smiled, her body relaxed slightly into the couch. "I can't think of anything else I'd rather do."
"Great, then I'll start on breakfast." Kara said happily and then lingered as her eyes betrayed her true desire to stay. Lena's eyes shifted to the kitchen and then gave Kara a quizzical look. "Oh, right." Kara bounced off the couch and quickly made her way to the refrigerator, pulling out the remaining four eggs and package of bacon. She spotted the package of half eaten strawberries and decided to pull those out as well.
"So what is your morning routine like on a typical Saturday?" Lena asked and Kara pretended like she didn't hear the added beat or the slight shake in her voice. She smiled and looked over her shoulder at Lena who had followed her.
Lena helped herself by pulling out two mugs from the cabinet and got the coffee machine going as Kara turned on the stove and grabbed a pan. "When I'm not out patrolling, I usually go for a light run, read, putz around here… I used to paint…" Kara said as an afterthought, she actually can't remember the last time she pulled out her easel. She pulled out a few strips of bacon and placed them on the pan then scrambled a few eggs in a bowl and poured them into a skillet. "Then later, I'd either meet up with you or Alex." She finished. Lena collected the newly filled mug of hot coffee and put the second mug in its place and started up the machine again. She stood close, leaning back against the counter as she listened and Kara was grateful for the distraction of making breakfast, because Lena in close proximity was dizzying and the more Kara allowed her feelings to take root and grow the more dizzying that closeness became.
"You paint?" Lena asked, surprised, she grabbed a fresh strawberry and took a bite out of it. "How did I not know this about you?"
Kara glanced at Lena and smiled. "Used to. It's not really something I talk much about. I don't really have time for it anymore like I used to." At the puzzled questioning look Lena gave, Kara bit her lip and explained. "It's something I did a lot when I was on Krypton. But it was frowned upon, the ministries were all very strict and once they assigned you to a guild all your energy was expected to be put towards that sect. No other electives were allowed." Kara spoke timidly as she kept her eyes down, scraping and pushing the eggs to keep them from burning. "But my dad saw the interest I had in it and so he snuck supplies to me, encouraged me to learn. Always the scientist, he'd say things like; 'always question, always explore, never settle for less than what you're worth.'" Kara smiled fondly at the memory and saw Lena's own timid smile forming as well. It occurred to her then that anything related to her Kryptonian heritage had always been held under lock and key. Sharing anything related to her past was new for them. It left her feeling vulnerable and exposed, but the moment she looked at Lena's soft and understanding gaze, the rapt attention she held to Kara's words, that feeling just turned into warmth and comfort and she found herself saying more. "He never wanted me to feel trapped or confined to one path. So he made it his mission to widen the scope of mine. Regardless of the consequences." She turned the stove off and sighed as she let her thoughts drift to the man who feels more like a dream than a once tangible reality. She looked at Lena with a sad smile playing at her own features. "And there were many. My mom had to assure the counsel that it wouldn't hinder my path forward in the Science guild, begged my father to at least attempt to be discreet. In the end she would sneak me paints and brushes too." A sudden feeling of loss overwhelmed her and she felt her eyes water at the fond memory. She looked back up at Lena, who too seemed struck by the sudden shift in mood. Her eyes glistened with silent understanding. "I think you would have really liked them."
"I'm sure I would." Lena spoke softly but with conviction and Kara had to will herself from leaning in. Her fingers itched to draw Lena close to her. Instead, she turned and grabbed two dishes and started plating the food. "How about that for a morning conversation? Ugh. Sorry."
"Don't apologize. Not when it comes to sharing." Lena said firmly. She took the offered plate and they made their way to the table. "I'd like to hear more…" She said timidly as if she may be over reaching. "If you want to, you don't have to."
Kara studied her for a long second and then, seemed to make up her mind. "Ok, well, I guess when I came here, Eliza thought it'd be good for me to take it up again. And It helped… keep me connected to them…" Kara looked at Lena and laughed humorlessly at herself. "Sounds so lame, huh?"
"No, not even a little." Lena assured. Her hand resting gently on Kara's arm to further solidify her belief. "I understand. Relate actually." Lena added. "My mother, before she passed…one of the few memories I have of her is her voice." Lena spoke quietly as if sharing a secret. "There's a lullaby she'd sing to me every night…" Lena looked down as seh let those early memories surface from their tiny little boxes. Kara listened carefully, fully aware of how rare it was to get a glimpse into Lena's past. She always held onto it so tightly. "I had a music box made with the song she used to sing and I used to pull it out every now and then to feel connected to her."
Kara took a bite of her eggs and looked up at Lena. "Used to?"
Lena nodded and looked down, moving a piece of egg back and forth with her fork. "I had it made in Ireland, years ago, before I moved to National City. In the same town where I'm from, there's a man that hand makes them. Anyway, Lillian chucked it at my head one evening when I wasn't 'listening'." Lena used air quotes and rolled her eyes with a weak attempt at a smile and Kara met her gaze with sympathy. "A few of the metal spindles broke…" She shrugged sadly. "It still plays, but the melody is broken up and fragmented now."
"I'm sorry."
Lena smiles fondly at Kara and shakes herself out of the past, her shoulders squaring up and the well known mask of indifference cloaking her once exposed features. "Don't be. It's…Well I was going to say 'fine,' but it's not. It's…"
"A managed pain." Kara finishes. They hold each other's gaze, and there's an acknowledgement shared between them. Another recognition of how easily they understand one another. The moment trickles on before they both nearly simultaneously flush and look down at their own plates.
"Um so, Saturday activities… I have a few ideas." Lena says after a beat and Kara perks up instantly.
"Ok, this was a bad idea." Lena looked down nervously and she heard Kara laugh full and bright before hugging her close from behind in an attempt to calm her nerves. The instant warmth helped soothe her anxiety minutely before she looked down again and felt her heart speed up all the more.
"You suggested it!"
"Yes and now I'm un-suggesting it!" She said firmly, but her arms reached up and clutched Kara's forearms for added support, silently thankful they were still wrapped around her. Kara squeezed gently and goosebumps spread from her head to toes when she felt the soft kiss land at the top of her head. There was a slight hesitation, before Kara's arms slowly disengaged. "You can do it, I believe in you." Lena heard her say from behind her and it was gentle and kind and Lena did her best not to melt further.
This morning she had woken to Kara in her arms. Still a surreal but very real fact that she was trying to wrap her mind around. They had spent the early morning eating, talking and drinking coffee as she went over her plan for this incredibly stupid idea. Now that she was here, she was having a number of second thoughts. There was no way in hell she was going through with this. She didn't care if she came up with it.
"Let's go back and do your idea instead. I'm suddenly craving ice cream and a rollercoaster ride over this."
"No, no, we agreed. First this then rollercoasters, besides Alex, Sam and Ruby can't meet up with us until after lunch anyway." Kara said, effectively shutting her down and crushing her hopes of this nightmare ending swiftly.
"Kara, the next time I say I have an idea for a Saturday fun day, it is your job to tell me no and be unsupportive and provide as little emotional encouragement as your big heart can manage. Is that clear?"
"I'm sorry, but you're asking me to go against my nature. I can't make that promise nor would I want to." Kara said playfully but the seriousness wasn't lost on Lena either. Kara turned Lena around by the shoulders and saw the worry etched on her face and softened even more. "We don't have to if you don't want to, but I do think, since you are the one who decided on this outing, paid for it and signed all those forms, that you do want to do this."
She looked down at the harness and checked the straps once more. She leaned in so that only Lena could hear her and not the rest of the crew or adrenaline junky enthusiasts who came to skydive today. "Besides, you have the best instructor going tandem with you." She whispered and Lena's breath caught in her throat at their sudden closeness.
When Kara leaned back there was a small smirk lifting the corner of Kara's mouth and Lena found it delightfully distracting. She was grateful Alex had insisted on having Kara trained and licensed to skydive, not wanting to be strapped to one of the random, way too enthusiastic, instructors who were currently on board with them. She studied Kara as she silently checked and double checked their harnesses and couldn't help the nervous laugh at the irony of the situation. The joke was not lost on any of their friends when they had first found out that Supergirl was forced to wear a parachute for several months. Nia still cracked jokes here and there when they were on missions. It was a small distraction the light tugs and pulls Kara made when adjusting the straps on her shoulders. "Are the ones across your legs snug enough? You don't want them to be too tight."
"How in the hell should I know?" Lena asked flustered and feeling that panicky feeling prickle at her spine.
"Can I?" Kara asked and Lena looked at her like she had two heads. "Kara, I'm about to willing jump out of this plane… if you don't make sure all these straps are exactly how they should be I will not be buying you any cotton candy, funnel cakes, ice cream or whatever fucking treat you ask for at the amusement park later today. I will cut you off, do you understand me?" They were nearing the final altitude. The altimeter on her wrist says they were at 13,00 ft only 1,000 ft more to go. One of the instructors twisted slightly off the bench and lifted the back sliding door of the plane and there was a few cheers as some of the more regular skydivers got ready to jump.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god." Lena started chanting as her heart nearly flew out of her chest at the now very real reality that she was about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. "What was I thinking? What was I thinking?"
"That you have no reason to be scared, because I'll be with you the whole time." Kara said comfortingly. She smiled and added. "Quite literally, I mean you will be strapped –" The plane hit a small bit of turbulence and sent the cabin full of people in the air briefly. Lena lurched forward and grabbed onto Kara. She still was surprised at how the back of the plane only consisted of two long benches that everyone basically straddled. No seatbelts. Those that went tandem sat closer to the front while the solo jumpers sat closer to the back so they would be the first ones out the back door. Lena and Kara would be the last to leave. "...To me." Kara said slightly breathlessly. Lena pulled back and Kara patted her knee. "Time to turn around, I actually do have to clip you to my harness now."
"Two minutes!" The man everyone at the hangar called Buzz yelled out from the back of the plane. Lena understood the nickname all the more when he had dawned the black and yellow striped suit.
"Turn around, Lena." Kara said tenderly, her fingers gentle on her shoulder.
Right. This is actually happening. "Ok." She said and finally shifted so that she was facing away from Kara and felt gentle tugs and pulls as Kara began clipping Lena's harness to her own. Then Lena's heart stopped as warm hands trailed over her thighs, the straps of the harness being pulled slightly in silent tests as Kara's hands curled around the nylon straps. Every sensation was now entirely wrapped under one thought. Kara. Kara. Kara. "Better?" Kara asked as her hands still on Lena's thighs, and the touch was intoxicating, foggin her brain. "Y-yeah."
"Ok, so when we exit the plane, don't forget to arch your back to keep the center of gravity low so that we don't topple over, we want to see the ground not the sky. Also keep your legs bent and between mine and your arms stretched out like this." Kara held each of Lena's wrists lifting them out and to the side to show her. Lena swallowed, suddenly feeling like this entire trip may not have been such a bad idea after all. "If you want to bank left or right we use our hands and body to push the air to do so. There's about a minute of free fall before we open the 'chute. Which is at 4,000 feet." Lena nodded and watched as the first few solo jumpers disappeared out the rear door. The rest followed quickly after and before Lena could even process it they were at the door, the engines loud, the wind whipping and swirling inside the now empty cabin. "You ready?"
"No." The roaring of the plane seemed louder now. All the distractions no longer keeping her senses from overwhelming her. The loud engine made it almost impossible to hear, and the wind was deafening and cool, quickly chilling her skin. Logically she knew she was fine. She knew that if anything went wrong Kara would simply…stop falling. She shook her head as she tried to clear it from fear. She was perfectly safe. So why was she trembling?
"I'm with you." Kara said soothingly in her ear. Her hands smoothed over her shoulders and down her arms and Lena instantly relaxed. "You're safe with me Lena. We have to jump now."
Lena sucked in a breath, steeling herself as she nodded. "Ok."
They turned and squatted and Lena saw the quilt work of green to her left and Kara's arm waving in and out of the plane in three broad strokes and at the third…silence.
Then air.
She wanted to scream, but the noise was swallowed up by the buckets of wind currently bombarding her face. So much wind that it almost felt like she was being held up by it instead of careening down, down, down. The altitude played tricks with her, it didn't look like the ground was getting any closer but when she glanced at her altimeter that fact was quickly affirmed. Kara's hands came up in front of her as she gave her a thumbs up. Lena quickly returned the gesture as any attempt at speaking was rendered useless with the sheer volume of air being pushed into her face and nose.
It was an entirely different experience from when Kara would hold her when flying. Those experiences were only a handful, but for the most part they were slower, suspended. She checked the altimeter again and saw that they were already at the 4,000 feet mark and Kara gave her an 'ok' sign and grabbed her wrists and waved before throwing one out in front of them while bringing the other back and Lena felt Kara's hip and fumbled as she searched for the golf ball sized ripcord and nearly panicked when she couldn't feel it. Kara's hand still held her wrist gently and helped guide her hand to where the ball was and Lena pulled it and then gasped when the wind stopped instantly. The abrupt stop in the air was jarring and her harness tugged uncomfortably at her legs.
Lena laughed long and hard, feeling exhilarated. "Holy shit! I can't believe I just did that!"
"You did great!" Kara praised from behind her. It took several minutes to float down and when they landed a new wave of excitement and adrenaline seemed to flood through Lena's trembling body. Kara unhooked Lena's harness and the moment she was free Lena swirled around and hugged Kara tightly. "Whoa!" Kara said, startled but amused as she wrapped her arms around Lena's waist. "So is it safe to assume you enjoyed that?" Kara asked as she leaned back to look at Lena's beaming face.
"Immensely! I could kiss you! I can't believe how amazing that was, it was so —words can't describe the feeling I have. Like I could take on the whole world, or like nothing else seems as scary so what's the harm in trying. It just —" Kara laughed lightly at Lena's exuberance. Lena was practically floating; she was so high on adrenaline. She pulled back from the embrace, her hands resting on Kara's biceps. Kara's cheeks were soft and red and her hair was windswept and bits were pulled out of her once perfect ponytail.
She probably didn't look any better, but at this moment she didn't care, because Kara was beaming at her like she held the moon. Lena's eyes drifted down and the words tumbled from her mouth before she gave them much thought. "It just makes me want to do something incredibly stupid." The moment quickly dropped heavy as they continued to stare at each other, their hands still firmly holding each other in place not willing to let any more distance come between them. Lena suddenly wished she hadn't looked at Kara. She was looking back at her with an unbridled want lurking behind those irises that Lena couldn't allow herself to believe. She swallowed thickly as her fingers curled lightly around Kara's arms, the desire to pull her in was suddenly overwhelming and her eyes drifted down again to Kara's parted lips before darting back up in a lame attempt to conceal her desire. Kara's own eyes widened and her pupils darkened. They were like polar ends of a magnet as the two of them gravitated towards each other.
"How about that huh?" Lena jolted out of her trance and turned to see Buzz approaching them with his arm full of parachute and rope. "Pretty exciting stuff, right? Reckon we'll see ya both again soon?"
Kara's arms detached from her waist, a sigh escaped her lips that Lena was quick to ignore. Adrenaline, they were both just over excited, and Lena nearly let that excitement ruin something special. Sacred. What was she thinking?
"We'll see." Kara said swiftly and there was a surprising finality to her tone. She stared back at the man with hard eyes and Buzz smiled and walked away, the moment between them slipping away at his heels. Lena was silently relieved. Kara looked back at Lena with an unreadable expression and for a heart stopping second it looked like she was about to address what just happened between them but she only studied Lena's face a moment longer before she sighed resignedly. "I'm going to go pack this parachute backup. If you want, you can go back to the dressing rooms and change. We can leave after I'm finished."
"Lunch after?" Lena asked, her tone artificially light as she tried to repress the growing want still lingering just out of her reach.
Kara nodded with an amused look, a light smile raising her cheeks. "Yeah, with Alex, Sam and Ruby, remember?"
Lena shook her head, still cloudy with adrenaline and dizziness from the almost…god no, she couldn't even think it. "Right, almost forgot." The day wasn't over yet, and that seemed to soothe both their spirits. "I am pretty hungry now."
"I could definitely eat. All that falling worked up an appetite." Kara added with a light chuckle and Lena was grateful that she seemed to move on so easily. She was about to internally combust, but Kara at least seemed unaware.
Lena took a small step back, her hands she suddenly realized were still holding Kara's biceps and she willed herself not to squeeze. "Give me about ten or fifteen minutes?"
"Ok."
They lingered again and the silent stares were starting to feel loaded and burdened with meaning, but nothing else was spoken and Lena finally loosened her hold on Kara's arms. Her fingers trailing down before releasing completely.
"Ok."