Author: rainyday101
Rating: pg for now but it will most likely pg13 later on
Disclaimer: besides my cd collection, and my cat nos, I own nothing. This includes the Tribe and evrything affiliated with it.
Summary: while working on a project together jack starts to rethink his opinion of ram (ramjack) SLASH
a/n: the only thing i have to say is that one, its christmas and therefore a very busy time. and two, this is the longest chapter to ever grace this story.
chapter 11: all the kings men
Ram just stared at Jack, not knowing what to say or do.
He had really only ever lost Java, and truthfully he had'nt really loved her, just appreciated the fact that she loved him. But this was totaly different.
Jack loved Ellie, maybe not in the same way he had before, but it was love nonethless, and Ram really didnt know how to handle that. Beyond that, Ram really was'nt used to comforting people. Usualy he was the one making somebody cry, so trying to get them to stop was a whole new ballgame.
So out of lack of anything better to do, he awkwardly put his arm around Jack, hoping that it was'nt the wrong thing to do. Jack curled into the warmth of Rams shoulder, and started crying heavily, not able to stop now that he had started.
Thankfully, nobody was around, so they were left alone. When Jack finaly managed to stop crying, Ram hauled him up off of the floor, and back into his room. Jack let Ram guide him over to the bed, siting down on the edge tiredly.
Jack randomly thought that it was funny that he should be so tired, considering that he had only woken up a couple of hours ago, but he could barely sit upright. It felt like he was being crushed, but when he layed down and kept completly still, he could almost breathe normaly again.
He heard Ram ask him if he wanted to be alone, and it took all the energy that he had left to say yes. Ram turned off the light, looked over at Jack like he had something to say, shook his head and then left.
When Jack was alone, he forced his mind to shut down, because not letting himself feel anything at all was a hell of a lot better then feeling everything.
When Jack fell asleep, it was only to be confronted with nightmare after nightmare, all of them involving Ellie dying, and him not being able to do anything to stop it. Just before he would wake up, he would see Megas cruely grinning face, taunting him, letting him know that he would never see her again. Jack would wake up panting, and covered in sweat, only to fall asleep again minutes later and have the whole process repeat itself.
Finaly he just decided to stay awake, not able to handle the nightmares anymore.
Staring at the ceiling, he started to remember things that he had never really given much thought to before, but seemed so important now. Like how sometimes Ellie would pounce on him to wake him up, laughing at him when he would yell at her for it. Or once after he got into a fight with a techno, he had banged up his knee real bad, and she bandaged him up, not even laughing or teasing him when he hissed in pain at the peroxide.
Not really anything that was particularly signifigant, but he would never get to make any more memories with her, and that thought struck him hard. Even though it was'nt in the way that she had wanted, he had loved her, always would, and he found himself praying desperatley that wherever she was she knew that.
He heard a knock on his door, and he sat up saying 'come in' in as calm a voice as he could manage. Rubys face peeked around the door, her face questioning, wanting to know if it was okay for her to come in. Jack nodded his head, Ruby may be annoying at times, but she was a good person at heart, and he knew that she would at least be able to give him a little comfort.
She sat down next to him on the bed, and pulled him into a hug. Jack gratefully hugged her back, closing his eyes against the tears that were threatning to come back.
After a few minutes Ruby quietly asked if he was okay. He nodded his head, even though he knew that she would know it was a lie, thankful when she did'nt push the matter. "Jays called a meeting, to discuss what were going to do, with the attack and everything."She looked at him apologeticaly.
"Okay, i'll be down in a couple minutes, just let me get changed."
Ruby nodded, and after giving one last hug, left the room. Jack looked around his messy room half heartedly, looking for something clean that he could throw on. He quickly pulled on the first pair of jeans that he found, and a shirt that Ellie had liked.
Pushing that thought forcefully out of his head, he hurried downstairs, knowing that Mega had finaly pushed things to far.
Walking towards the corner where the people that made up the resistance were crammed together, Jack noted the grim looks on peoples faces that changed to pity when they caught sight of him. He purposfully ignored them hoping that they would get the message that he did'nt want to talk about it, except in regards to bringing Mega down for good.
He sat down between Ved and Slade, and turned towards Ebony who had started talking as soon as Jack got within hearing range.
"Something has got to be done, and SOON. We can't just sit here making useless plans, while he gets stronger by the day. The longer we wait, the harder its going to be to take him down."
She glared, as if daring someone to argue with her.
Slade crossed his arms over his chest, and looked towards the floor. Ved stayed silent, but that was'nt anything new-he had been pretty quiet, and generaly unlike his old self ever since he had come back. Jack could only imagine the things that he had gone through, it was a wonder that he was doing as well as he was.
Jay did'nt say anything either but it was clear from the look on his face that he completely agreed with what Ebony had said. Jay had always been a shoot first, ask questions later type of guy, and not for the first time Jack thought about how much it must be killing him to stay in liberty while the person who had hurt his brother and countless others was free.
Everybody had thier own reasons for wanting to see Mega out of power, he had hurt so many people, and by the looks of it had no plans of stopping.
It was Ram who finaly spoke up.
"So what are we going to do?"
Ebony scowled a bit more, it was clear that she did'nt actualy know what to do, she just wanted to do something. Jack thought about how he infiltrated the technos, making Mega trust him enought o get inside enemy headquarters, and how little that had accomplished.
"I think the most effective way, would be to take out Mega directly." Jack said, a small amount of anger seeping into his voice, despite his best efforts to keep his voice neutral. Jay looked at him.
"You mean delete him?"
Jack got angry at the use of techno lingo, and jumped up, glaring for all he was worth at Jay.
"Yes Jay, 'delete' him, murder, kill, wipe his sorry ass out of existance! He has ruined peoples lives, he is a sick sadistic bastard, and we'll all be better off when he's six feet under."
Everyone stared at him in shock, not used to seeing him like that. Ebony quickly recovered.
"And how do you propose we do that?"
Suprisingly, there was no sarcasm in her voice, it sounded as though she actualy aproved of the idea. Jack shrugged, slumping back down into his seat, the short burst of anger having worn him out.
"I dont know, that's not really my area of expertise."
Ram was darting concerned glances at him when he thought that no one was looking.
Jack was suprised that nobody had shot down his idea outright, but he was'nt sure if that was because they actualy agreed with it, or just because they thought that he had only said it because he was angry about Ellie.
The meeting went on, but when it was clear that no decisions were going to be made right then, they decided to meet again the next day when everyone had, had time to think.
Jack walked outside, going to the clearing behind the inn where Slade kept his bike, knowing that very few people hung out there. He sat on the ground with his back propped against a large crate that had wood stored in it.
Jack thought about what he had said during the meeting-did he really want to kill Mega? He was less suprised then he probably should have been, when his mind immediatly responded with a vehement YES.
Jack heard footsteps and looked up, shocked when he saw that it was Ved.
The former techno sat down beside him, and immediatly started talking. "I'm sorry about Ellie, I know how it feels to lose someone that you love." Jack nodded, still a little suprised that Ved was talking to him.
"Do you really want to kill him?" The blond boy asked in a neutral tone of voice that did'nt show his opinion on the matter one way or the other.
Jack nodded his head, not about to deny what he had just confirmed with himself. Ved looked at him as if gauging his sincerity. He apparently found what he was looking for, because he got a small smile on his face that held no traces of humor, and sent a small shiver down Jacks back.
"Good."
With that, Ved stood up and walked away without looking back. Jack sat there more confused now then he had been before. What had Ved meant 'good'? Jack definatly understood the want and need to take Mega as far out of the picture as possible, but the way Ved had said it... it was almost like he would get a personel pleasure out of it.
When the sun started to set Jack went back inside, making a side trip Rubys way when his stomach started to protest not being fed. After burning his throught with some scalding, but delicious soup, he went up to his room.
Jack was still thinking about his strange talk with Ved as he was getting ready for bed. Of course 'talk' might be the wrong word to use. It was fairly one-sided for one thing, and thinking back it almost seemed as if Ved had been testing him. What he was being tested on was beyond Jack, but he was fairly certain that he had passed whatever it was.
He just was'nt sure how to feel about that. Another thing that was worrying him, was that Ram had'nt talked to him since that morning, when he had said he wanted to be alone. Great, as if he needed yet another thing to worry about. Jack could only hope that Ram was'nt angry at him for some unfathomable reason.
Even if he was there was'nt a lot that Jack could do about it. His head steadily filling with one deppresive thought after another, Jack slipped into the sanctuary of sleep.
Waking up was a pleasent experiance-at least it was for the first thirty seconds, where he was blissfully unaware of all problems with the world. When he did remember, he felt a strong urge to go back to sleep just so that he could forget again. But then he thought of how disapointed Ellie would be with him for not facing his problems, and resolutley got out of bed.
After taking a quick shower, and making a half-hearted effort to clean up his room, Jack walked down the hall to Rams room. Jack had taken to going there every morning, partialy so that he knew what was happening with everything, but mostly so that he could be near Ram.
The former techno did'nt seem to mind, in fact some days he even seemed to enjoy Jacks presance. He knocked lightly on the door, waiting for Rams muttered 'come in' before opening the door.
The other boy was sitting in front of three different moniters, apparently focused pretty intently on something. It was a minute before he looked up, and when he did Jack was'nt greeted with the small smile that he had become accustomed to getting when the two of them were alone together.
"What?" Ram snapped, not even waiting for an answer before looking back at his computer. Jack decided not to comment on Rams behavior.
"Uhh... nothing I guess, if you're busy I can come back later." Ram looked up again, but this time he did'nt look irritated.
"Come sit."
It was said in clipped tones, but Jack knew Ram would'nt have bothered to say it at all, unless he really did want Jack there, so he did as Ram said and sat next to him.
"What's up?"
"Megas been modifying his little brainwashing program, but he messed up. He's been doing it on the mainframe and not wherever he was working on it before."
He looked at Jack expectantly. Jack grinned as he caught the implications of what Ram was saying.
"So you can make your own adjustments to the program, without him knowing a thing."
"I think we found our way in." Ram said with a grin of his own.
Jack leaned forward impulsivley, and kissed Ram on the lips. When he pulled back he noticed that Ram had the same expression on his face that he had, had yesterday, like he had something to say, but was'nt sure how. He stayed silent knowing that Ram would be more likely to tell him, if he just waited.
"Why are we doing this?" Ram blurted out, then got a look on his face like he was suprised that he had just said that.
Jack had no clue what Ram was talking about. "Come again?"
"This."
Ram gestured between them.
"What is this?"
"Oh."
Okay, that was something that Jack had definatly not been expecting.
"I don't know, I like you, and you seem to not hate me, but other then that..." Jack trailed off, not wanting to go into a ramble that would probably make him look like a complete idiot.
"No thats not what I mean."
Ram looked frustrated, and for the first time since Jack had met him, the former tecno looked as if he had no clue what to say.
"Okay, so, uhh, what do you mean."
"I MEAN, what are we? Are we dating, or just people who kiss?"
Jack blushed furiously, his thoughts going a thousand miles a hour, Jack liked to think of what they were doing as dating, but what if Ram only wanted it to be just kissing.
"What do you want it to be?"
Dear lord, Jack could not believe that he had just said that.
He could'nt be sure, but it almost looked as if Ram was blushing. Not lobster red, like Jack usualy did, but blushing nonetheless.
In a voice so light that Jack barely heard it, Ram answered.
"Dating."