Ash Williams
Intro Motions
Edgar Wright: A series of close up camera shots pull in to the reving chainsaw, the loaded shotgun, and Ash hiking up his pants. It then goes to his opponent who performs their entrance. Over their shoulder, Ash speaks to them. The opponent speaks back to them before a final pull in goes to Ash's face as he speaks.
Boomstick: Ash revs his chainsaw hand before bringing it down on a new shotgun over his knee. Sparks start flying as it goes to the opponent who enters. Ash never looks away from his weapon as he speaks. The opponent speaks before Ash kills his power tool. He slams his elbow on metal and snaps the barrel before standing up and speaking.
Linda: Ash walks forward before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a magnifying glass necklace. The opponent walks forward and it goes over their shoulder to show Ash holding the necklace as he speaks. The opponent speaks before it goes back to Ash, who pockets the charm as he speaks again.
Ashy Slashy: Ash placed a bucket with books on top over a crawling hand, trapping the severed limb. The opponent walks forward as it shows Ash standing up as he speaks. It returns to his opponent who speaks before it goes back to Ash. Ash places a boot on the bucket as it starts to crawl away, trapping the hand as he speaks again.
Intros
Ash
1st
Ash A: What is this, the fifth clone?
Ash B: I lost count, Ashy Slashy.
Ash A: Let's get this over with.
2nd
Ash A: You meet Brandy yet?
Ash B: You mean Candy right?
Ash A: No. I'm talking about your daughter.
3rd
Ash B: Please tell me you read the words right?
Ash A: Klaatu barada nikto.
Ash B: Damn it. It was so obvious.
4th
Ash B: You care to compare hands?
Ash A: My blade is shaper than ever.
Ash B: Nut up or shut up.
Baraka
1st
Ash: Jesus Christ!
Baraka: My name is Baraka.
Ash: Don't you have dental work?
2nd
Ash: You a new breed of Demon?
Baraka: I am Tarkatan, fool.
Ash: Where's that damn dagger when I need it?
3rd
Baraka: What happened to your hand?
Ash: Cut it off with a chainsaw to save myself.
Baraka: Brave, but ultimately pointless.
4th
Baraka: What in the Ten Hells are you?
Ash: Some call me 'El Jefe'.
Baraka: You'll make for a light snack.
Cassie Cage
1st
Ash: You remind me of my daughter.
Cassie: She's an ass kicker too?
Ash: When she wants to be.
2nd
Ash: Don't get your hopes up.
Cassie: Ew, gross.
Ash: Okay, no daddy issues.
3rd
Cassie: No sick dad jokes.
Ash: What kind of man do you take me for?
Cassie: You really need to ask?
4th
Cassie: That shotgun looks a little rusty.
Ash: Nothing on me is rusty, kid.
Cassie: Prove it, old man.
Cetrion
1st
Ash: You Gods do a crap job.
Cetrion: Explain yourself, mortal.
Ash: Two words, lady: My. Life.
2nd
Ash: Cetrion? What kind of name is that?
Cetrion: It embodies virtue and light.
Ash: Sounds pretty stupid to me.
3rd
Cetrion: Yours is not a virtuous life.
Ash: After that cabin, would you be?
Cetrion: Then you must be punished accordingly.
4th
Cetrion: Ashley Williams...
Ash: What do you want, green giant?
Cetrion: Your death.
D'vorah
1st
Ash: Time to try out my upgrades.
D'vorah: You will find them worthless.
Ash: Prove it, bug bitch.
2nd
Ash: Where is that damn dagger?
D'vorah: You cannot stop us with a blade.
Ash: No, but it'll melt you real good.
3rd
D'vorah: This one does not recognize you.
Ash: Yeah, I'm new here.
D'vorah: And this is where you will die.
Erron Black
1st
Ash: You fought Deadites before?
Erron: Annoying little bastards? Yeah.
Ash: Let's see who's better.
2nd
Ash: I got better gear.
Erron: It's the man, not the weapons.
Ash: That's not what the girls say.
3rd
Erron: Well, what do we have here?
Ash: The man with the killer right hand.
Erron: Don't look so killer to me.
4th
Erron: I heard of you.
Ash: I'm kind of a big deal.
Erron: If you say so, Ashy-Slashy.
Fujin
1st
Ash: Ready to go, wind bag?
Fujin: You will pay for that insult.
Ash: Cash or credit?
2nd
Fujin: You must trust your daughter.
Ash: She's not ready for this.
Fujin: She's more ready than you will ever know.
Frost
1st
Ash: What the hell happened to you?
Frost: I am the ultimate weapon now.
Ash: You look more like a toy to me.
2nd
Frost: Once cyberized, you will serve.
Ash: I'm done with possessions.
Frost: Stupid idiot.
3rd
Frost: My enhancements beat yours.
Ash: I didn't choose this hand, girlie.
Frost: And you won't choose this, either.
Geras
1st
Ash: So you're from Kandar?
Geras: I do not remember my origin.
Ash: Then get ready for a flashback.
2nd
Ash: How's it hanging, Sandman?
Geras: I do not bring dreams.
Ash: It'll still be lights out.
3rd
Ash: What do you want?
Geras: To test the mettle of man.
Ash: Test this, ugly.
4th
Geras: You have travelled through time?
Ash: Only two times, punk.
Geras: That is two times too many.
45th
Geras: You claim to have killed immortals?
Ash: Just some punk named Baal.
Geras: He was Kronika's son.
Jacqui Briggs
1st
Ash: Ready to learn from the master?
Jacqui: You know I'm engaged, right?
Ash: I'm talking about fighting, not fucking.
2nd
Ash: Congrats on the engagement.
Jacqui: At this point, I'm not surprised you know.
Ash: Beat me, and I'll let you know who told me.
3rd
Jacqui: My dad lost both his arms.
Ash: Were they ripped off or did he take them off himself?
Jacqui: Damn, you are hardcore.
4th
Jacqui: Ready to get schooled?
Ash: I know more than you, girlie.
Jacqui: Prove it.
Jade
1st
Ash: Oh, hello Doris.
Jade: By my staff, you will die.
Ash: Great, another crazy girl.
2nd
Ash: You sure you're okay?
Jade: My Revenant is not the same as me.
Ash: God, this is more confusing than normal.
3rd
Jade: You seek a book of evil?
Ash: It got lost when I came here.
Jade: We must find it before someone else does.
Jax
1st
Ash: And I thought losing my hand was bad.
Jax: You chopped it off. I don't know if I could do that.
Ash: Trust me, it wasn't fun.
2nd
Ash: Ready to learn how to fight Deadites?
Jax: You're the teacher?
Ash: Lesson one: expect the unexpected.
3rd
Jax: Old dogs like us need to stick together.
Ash: You look pretty spry to me.
Jax: Then I guess you need to be out down.
Johnny Cage
1st
Ash: You're movies aren't the worst I've seen.
Johnny: That's why I'm the highest grossing movie star ever.
Ash: But I could be better.
2nd
Ash: Time to shut you up.
Johnny: Never gonna happen, grandpa.
Ash: Oh, that is it.
3rd
Johnny: That hand come with a vibration function?
Ash: Hell no, it's for fighting.
Johnny: What a waste.
Joker
1st
Ash: Oh, goddamnit. You're here too?
Joker: You're familiar with my work?
Ash: I've read the comics.
2nd
Ash: You stole the book?
Joker: Anything for a good joke.
Ash: Oh, that's it.
3rd
Joker: That hand looks like fun.
Ash: Get close enough, and I'll show you what it can do.
Joker: Feisty, I like it.
Kabal
1st
Ash: Damn, you're extra crispy.
Kabal: I'm gonna kill you for that insult.
Ash: If you can.
2nd
Ash: Swords? Seriously?
Kabal: Guns just don't do it for me.
Ash: Am I back in the past?
3rd
Kabal: That book will fetch a high price.
Ash: Trust me, you won't be able to pay it.
Kabal: No, but some schmuck will.
4th
Kabal: A chainsaw? That's overkill.
Ash: No such thing in my business.
Kabal: And business just closed.
Kano
1st
Ash: The fuck is with that eye?
Kano: Killed the last gobber who asked me that.
Ash: Well, you're not gonna kill me.
2nd
Ash: Time to take you down.
Kano: Like you have a chance.
Ash: Like I haven't heard that before.
3rd
Kano: Your book will bring in some serious bank.
Ash: That thing belongs in hell.
Kano: Too bad, so sad.
Kitana
1st
Ash: Hello, princess.
Kitana: I am spoken for.
Ash: Of course you are.
2nd
Ash: The Necronomicon isn't going to cure your Revenant.
Kitana: Then what would it do?
Ash: Nothing good, that's what.
3rd
Kitana: Your comments are unwelcoming.
Ash: I'm just being nice.
Kitana: Then let me respond accordingly.
Kollector
1st
Ash: Jesus Christ, you're ugly.
Kollector: You will regret thise words.
Ash: Oh, piss off.
2nd
Ash: So are you a new demon?
Kollector: I am a Naknadan, you fool.
Ash: Either way, you're dead.
3rd
Kollector: Your hand will fetch big profits.
Ash: Like hell it's for sale.
Kollector: I will take it from your corpse.
4th
Kollector: Let me see you.
Ash: Trust me, you're not my type.
Kollector: Your meat will fetch high prices.
Kotal Kahn
1st
Ash: So you can destroy the book?
Kotal Kahn: By sacred ritual, it will burn.
Ash: I need to see it to believe it.
2nd
Ash: Ready to test the mettle of man?
Kotal Kahn: As surely as night follows day.
Ash: You could have just said yes.
3rd
Kotal Kahn: Your demons have infected Outworld.
Ash: Look, I can't control the damned things.
Kotal Kahn: You must still made amends.
4th
Kotal Kahn: Your weapons will faulter.
Ash: They haven't failed yet.
Kotal Kahn: That streak will end today.
Kung Lao
1st
Ash: So all you have is a hat?
Kung Lao: Dipped in the Shaolin secret recipe.
Ash: That doesn't mean its any good.
2nd
Kung Lao: The name is Kung Lao, but call me 'Chosen One'.
Ash: I thought I was know as 'El Jefe'.
Kung Lao: What on Earth does that mean?
3rd
Kung Lao: Your book is an abomination to all the Shaolin stand for.
Ash: Don't blame me. I didn't write the damn thing.
Kung Lao: But you did bring it with you.
Liu Kang
1st
Ash: How's it hanging, Liu-Liu?
Liu Kang: Not you too.
Ash: Wait, you mean I'm not the first?
2nd
Ash: So you're another chosen one?
Liu Kang: It is a burden we both share.
Ash: And one filled with hardships.
3rd
Liu Kang: You need to grow up.
Ash: And where's the fun is that?
Liu Kang: It is called taking things seriously.
Mileena
1st
Ash: Goddamn, you are one ugly bitch.
Mileena: I'm pretty, like my sister.
Ash: I'll be doing you a favor by kill you.
2nd
Ash: So, you eat people?
Mileena: Blood tastes so sweet.
Ash: And I thought Ruby was a real bitch.
3rd
Mileena: Come to my chambers...
Ash: No thank you, butterface.
Mileena: I will have your head.
4th
Mileena: Your hand will be a trophy.
Ash: It already is one, girl.
Mileena: Along with your severed head.
Nightwolf
1st
Ash: What's with the getup?
Nightwolf: It is a warriors armor.
Ash: You look so stupid.
2nd
Ash: You know I have a title too.
Nightwolf: But mine has been passed through the generations.
Ash: Let's see if it holds up.
3rd
Nightwolf: Are you friend or foe?
Ash: I'm here to kill demons, not people.
Nightwolf: Then we share the same goal.
4th
Nightwolf: The Matoka are no friends of the Deadites.
Ash: So you'll help me find them.
Nightwolf: First, you prove yourself worthy of my trust.
Noob Saibot
1st
Ash: I've had it with you Deadites.
Noob: I am wraith, fool.
Ash: You'll be dead so what does it matter.
2nd
Ash: Let's go, ugly.
Noob: You will sing of pain for me.
Ash: You ain't getting jackshit from me.
3rd
Noob: You will serve Shinnok.
Ash: I don't serve anyone, corpsey.
Noob: Then die.
Raiden
1st
Ash: You gods suck at your jobs.
Raiden: Have care how you speak, mortal.
Ash: How can let that book exist?
2nd
Ash: So you're the head honcho?
Raiden: I am the protector of Earthrealm.
Ash: Prove it.
3rd
Raiden: Ashly Williams...
Ash: What do you want, sparky?
Raiden: To test the mettle of man.
4th
Raiden: Your weapons will prove ineffective against me.
Ash: So said every other baddie I fought.
Raiden: Prove it.
Rain
1st
Ash: How's it going, squirt gun?
Rain: I am the son of Argus!
Ash: Argus, Shmargus!
2nd
Ash: So all you do is make people wet?
Rain: My water will take off your skin.
Ash: Well that's one way to lose pounds.
3rd
Rain: Your book is causing problems.
Ash: Hey, I didn't write the damn thing.
Rain: But you did bring it with you.
4th
Rain: Where are your companions?
Ash: They weren't sucked in with me.
Rain: You will see them in death.
Robocop
1st
Ash: So what you'd cut off?
Robocop: I was built to be the perfect police officer.
Ash: Prove it.
2nd
Ash: You know your shoelace is untied.
Robocop: I do not have shoes.
Ash: Well, so much for that plan.
3rd
Robocop: The Deadites are not natural?
Ash: About as natural as you, tin can.
Robocop: Then we face a much larger threat.
4th
Robocop: Deadites cannot harm me.
Ash: Say that after you've faced a few dozen.
Robocop: Very well.
Scorpion
1st
Ash: Another demon to kill.
Scorpion: I am not here to harm people.
Ash: Bullshit.
2nd
Ash: You under a Deadite spell?
Scorpion: I am who I've always been.
Ash: That doesn't answer my question.
3rd
Scorpion: Your book has caused nothing but trouble.
Ash: Hey, blame the guy who read the damn thing.
Scorpion: I will blame the one who brought it.
Shang Tsung
1st
Ash: So how old is your ass?
Shang Tsung: Even I have forgotten.
Ash: You've lived long enough.
2nd
Ash: Did you write that damn book?
Shang Tsung: The Necronomican is my finest work.
Ash: Time to pay for all my friends that thing killed.
3rd
Shang Tsung: Your thoughts turn to your daughter.
Ash: You stay the hell away from her.
Shang Tsung: You will die, and then her.
Shao Kahn
1st
Ash: Give me the Necronomicon back.
Shao Kahn: I will unleash its power.
Ash: It will destroy you.
2nd
Shao Kahn: Surrender or be killed.
Ash: I don't surrender to jack shit.
Shao Kahn: A painful death it is.
Sheeva
1st
Ash: Four arms? No thank you.
Sheeva: They will crush your spine.
Ash: Not gonna happen.
2nd
Ash: Are you some kind of demon?
Sheeva: I am queen of the Shokan.
Ash: The hell is a Shokan?
3rd
Sheeva: Tiny, little man.
Ash: Nothing tiny about me.
Sheeva: You will be tiny when I am done.
Sindel
1st
Ash: You remind me of Ruby.
Sindel: An ex-lover perhaps?
Ash: More like a crazy bitch.
2nd
Ash: Damn, you are thirsty.
Sindel: I merely know what I want.
Ash: But you aren't getting me.
3rd
Sindel: Kiss my hand, you handsome commoner.
Ash: Not gonna happen, Elvira.
Sindel: You will pay for that disrespect.
Skarlet
1st
Ash: You read the damn book!?
Skarlet: It is written in blood.
Ash: And it won't stop the carnage you unleashed.
2nd
Ash: Damn, you are creepy.
Skarlet: 'Creepy' doesn't offend me.
Ash: No, but it should.
3rd
Skarlet: Blood ages like wine.
Ash: Meaning what?
Skarlet: Yours will be a delicacy.
Sonya Blade
1st
Ash: Ma'am, you don't know what's coming.
Sonya: Whatever it is, we can handle it.
Ash: That's what my army thought too.
2nd
Ash: Trust me, the Deadites are worse than Shao Kahn.
Sonya: How much worse are we talking?
Ash: An 'End-of-all-life-everywhere' worse.
3rd
Sonya: You need a squad to kill some monsters?
Ash: I need to go it alone.
Sonya: And then when you die?
Spawn
1st
Ash: I know a Deadite when I see one.
Spawn: I'm a Hellspawn, and a good guy.
Ash: Like I haven't heard that one before.
2nd
Ash: Did you read the book?
Spawn: The Necronomicon? I destroyed that thing.
Ash: You expect me to believe that?
3rd
Spawn: You need help destroying a book?
Ash: For 30 years, I tried to get rid of the thing.
Spawn: Give it here, and I'll destroy the damn thing.
4th
Spawn: You fight monsters for a living?
Ash: Demons, but yeah.
Spawn: Let's trade some secrets.
Sub-Zero
1st
Ash: A little cold won't slow me down.
Sub-Zero: Six meters of solid ice will.
Ash: Bring it on.
2nd
Sub-Zero: I have fought cybernetic warriors before.
Ash: Cyborg? I'm all man.
Sub-Zero: Your hand says otherwise.
3rd
Sub-Zero: Ashley Williams...
Ash: What do you want?
Sub-Zero: To test your worth.
Terminator
1st
Ash: First it was demons from the past, now robots from the future?
Terminator: Demons do not exist.
Ash: You need to visit my world.
2nd
Ash: So you are real?
Terminator: That is correct.
Ash: I'm too old for this shit.
3rd
Terminator: You have knowledge of Kandar?
Ash: Only the demon parts.
Terminator: You have been targeted for termination.
4th
Terminator: I have no files on you.
Ash: Because I'm not from your world.
Terminator: Unknowns must be terminated.
Outros
Hail to the King: Ash pulls a girl into screen and holds her in a dip. He tells her "Hail to the King" before pulling her in for a kiss.
No!: Ash walks forward and covers the camera in his pants. The black screen then shows Ash walking towards a decimated London. He drops fo his knees and cries out in dismay.
Classic: Ash pulls out some car keys and walks towards a Classic Oldsmobile. He slams the car door shut and drives away.
Groovy: Ash blows smoke off the barrel before spinning it. He sheathes the gun as the camera goes to his side. He says his catchphrase before he turns to the camera.
Fatalities
Swallow This (Sindel)
Ash revs his chainsaw before slicing the Revenants arms off. He then swings it at her neck and slowly cuts through it. The head stays in the body before Ash punches it off, letting the body fall back. The head rolls on the ground and the jaw goes slack as Ash steps on it. He points the boomstick at the noggin and fires, blowing the head to pieces as the camera freezes.
Here's The Tip (D'vorah)
Ash shoves his chainsaw into the bug woman's chest before pulling the cord. The machine revs on starts mulching the insides before he pulls out, sending intestines spilling out. As she tries to pull them back in, she misses Ash loading his shotgun. As the Kytin finally looks up, Ash pulls the trigger and blows her head off.
Fatal Blow
The One With the Gun (Mileena)
Ash fires his boomstick twice and hits the Edenian, dazing her. He swaps his chainsaw hand for the one Pablo made him and punches the woman twice before slamming her into his knee, spraying blood. He requips his power tool and slices at her knee, crushing the bone and spraying blood. Ash pulls out his shotgun and clubs her head before shoving the barrel into her mouth and fires, spraying blood everywhere.
Friendship
Ash revs his chainsaw before carving a bust of his head.
Ending
'Shows Ash standing over a downed Kronika, her power washing over him.' "Waking up in the Middle Ages was one thing, but this, this takes the whole damn cake. And now I control all of time?" 'The Hourglass started glowing before it showed the Dark Ones writting the Necronomicon.' "There was only one thing on my mind. Destroy the damn book before it was ever written."
'The screen changes to show him and Spawn killing the writers, angering the others.' "And with a new friend of mine, it's gonna go super easy. The hard part: getting out of there in one piece."
And this story has started with a bang. Why Ash was never put in this game is beyond me, and it will forever be beyond. But at least here Ed will get a glimpse of what SHOULD have been. The ending was the best I could come up with, but I still think it's pretty good. See ya next time for our first anime character in this list!
BTW, poll updates will be posted with every Trailer. So make sure you go vote!
Beta read by General Feng Xiang