Yuna was unconscious when Auron found her the next morning. Having collapsed at the mouth of the healer's cave, it was a miracle that she had not frozen to death. Her complexion was ashen, and the older guardian could distinctly see fingernail marks on her face where she had been clawing in the throes of grief. His heart twisted painfully at the sight she made.
He removed his cloak and drew it around her frail form as he carefully scooped her up in his arms. Until then, he had never realized just how small she was, how much this journey had drained her.
After arranging her still form on the stone table, cushioned with thick furs and pillows, Auron went about setting up a small fire. No doubt she would wake up feeling extremely ill, both from exposure and internal misery.
Lulu came up behind him, moving silently. "How is she?"
"For now, at peace," he replied grimly, tucking her in once more for extra measure. "Where are the others?"
"Rikku is arranging for our supplies to be replenished, and Wakka is packing up our things." She paused for a moment, and in a slightly lighter tone, added, "It seems that Kimahri will be accompanying us to Bevelle. He intends to investigate whether or not the temple has anything to do with the missing Ronso children."
Auron raised an eyebrow. "So he refrained from admitting how unwilling he is to let Yuna out of his sight so soon."
Lulu smirked. "Conveniently."
The moment passed and the two of them fell silent, each wondering who of them would be the first to bring it up.
Auron caved, sighing heavily. "I thought I had that boy figured out. How could he leave her so suddenly, with no warning? Especially with her condition . . ."
His lover glanced at him sharply. "How do you know of that?"
He chuckled grimly. "Lulu, Tidus was the only one blind enough not to recognize her symptoms. Even Wakka commented on it to me in private."
She shook her head and moved forward to push a lock of hair away from Yuna's vacant face. "I do not fully understand either, but I am certain that there is more to all this than it seems. I doubt that Tidus made the decision of his own free will," she said softly.
Auron's brow creased. "You mean to say that Tidus was still under the mind spell? That would explain it, then."
"I simply cannot conceive him abandoning Yuna so close to the end for any other reason."
"Well, it can't be Seymour controlling him. It's too dramatic, too complicated. He would just as quickly put a knife in Tidus' gut as lure him away with fancy spells," the guardian reasoned. "Besides, Seymour was never very advanced in that branch of magic."
"It was a primitive spell," Lulu countered. "I recognize the energy it gave off. Such a simple trick does not require much power, and even nonmagics can acquire enough knowledge to pull it off. It was learned quickly and executed clumsily. I am guessing the perpetrator only has minimal control, and Tidus did the majority of the damage to himself."
"Then who?" Auron asked pensively, before his mind came to a sudden conclusion on its own. He grimaced. "The assassin."
"He seems the most likely villain, according to what Yuna told us about him," the mage agreed. "Such underhandedness is common among his type."
"So Tidus is heading into a trap."
"I saw his footprints heading towards one of the smaller paths back down the mountain. In his state he probably did not make it very far. He may not have even reached the Rammvena yet," Lulu commented, suggestion hanging in the air.
He regarded her blankly. "You mean to go after him," he deadpanned, his voice betraying no uncertainty.
"Yuna needs him. Without him, she will have no strength to continue. At this point, we cannot afford to take that risk."
His stomach lurched uncomfortably. "Perhaps I should be the one to-"
"No," she cut him off firmly, placing a finger against his lips. Her hand then moved to cup the side of his face and she softened her tone. "No, Auron. You need to lead the others. Yuna will need your guidance. And besides, of all of us, I am the most resistant to mind attacks. I will be able to protect myself better than you against such a foe. Do you understand?"
He gazed at her for a long time, expressionless but his heart in turmoil, before he finally resigned. He pulled her in for a kiss and sighed against her. "I don't suppose there is any argument between us that you can't win in the end."
She smiled. "I suppose not."
"Be careful."
"I always am, love."
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It was the pungent scent of wine that woke Yuna several hours later. Her vision swimming, the young woman slowly sat up, squinting in the darkness. A moment later her eyes adjusted, and she caught sight of her cousin standing next to her with a flask in hand.
"Thought that would do the trick," Rikku said with a soft smile. "You need something strong, eh?"
Yuna wordlessly took the flask and drank deeply, hungry for the wine's numbing powers. Rikku gently but forcefully pulled it back.
"Hey, take it easy!" the younger girl cried. "You don't want to end up with half your brain cells missing like my brother's, do you?"
"I don't know what I want right now," Yuna replied tonelessly, throwing her legs over the edge of the table. "How long have I been asleep?"
"Not too long. Just a few hours," the Al Bhed informed her, corking the flask and tossing it aside. "Are you hungry?"
"No. Where is Auron?"
Rikku jerked her head to the cave's exit. "Talking with Kimahri. Did you know he's going to come with us? Kimahri, I mean."
Yuna reflected on this news and nodded once. "I thought as much. It will be good to have him along."
Rikku bit her lip and watched her cousin leave, wondering at her strange new behaviour. There was definitely something missing. Gone was the kindly aura that surrounded her. Gone was the timid, soft-spoken young lady. Something new had emerged from Yuna's heart, a colder version of herself brought to life from the anguish she had been through; the anguish she was still battling.
Yuna even walked differently. She walked with a straight back and determined stride, her fists clenched as they swung at her side. Her expression was set grimly, her eyes fixed unflinchingly ahead.
She was angry. Sweet aeons, she was beyond angry, and the only face she could call to mind as the root of it was Tidus. A small fraction of her was appalled that she felt more fury than sorrow towards him, but she could not help it, and she did not want to. The wrath fuelled her, killing the fear that had hounded her since the journey began. If she relented, if she suppressed her vehemence, she knew without a doubt that she would break beyond repair. The maddening pain that threatened to swallow her would be more than she could bear. She could not risk such weakness, not now, not ever. Tidus was gone. He left her behind for his own selfish reasons, and she had no choice but to move on and focus on the mission.
The worst part was knowing that she would never be rid of him. No matter how far he ran from her, no matter how stubbornly she marched in the opposite direction, his face and voice and touch would haunt her incessantly.
It was late afternoon, almost evening. The Ronso village was still active, making preparations for dinner. A few of them nodded politely at Yuna as she passed, but she broke her own rule of courtesy and ignored them.
"Auron," she said sharply, finally spotting her guardian. He was in the middle of discussing something with Kimahri, as Rikku predicted, and he stopped abruptly when he caught sight of her. The two of them were standing near a paddock full of enormous horses that Yuna had never seen before. Were it not for their sheer size, she would have taken them for ordinary mountain horses, thick, stocky creatures with shaggy fur and sturdy legs. Their tangled manes and tails blew in the wind, and they grazed peacefully behind the archaic wood fence. Yuna supposed that they were bred especially to bear the weight of the large Ronso species.
"I want to leave tomorrow at dawn," she told Auron bluntly, ignoring the way both he and the Ronso chief were regarding her. "Please be ready." He seemed to hesitate, though remaining expressionless. For a moment she wondered if he was going to argue. Then he seemed to think better of himself.
"So be it. Kimahri will be-"
"Going with us," she interrupted swiftly, "I know. I am glad." She acknowledged her old caretaker with the briefest of glances. Without another pause, she turned on her heel to walk away. Her hands were shaking, oppressing the shock she felt. She had never spoken so sharply to anyone before, and the guilt was slowly building up. But she smothered it once more, refusing to go back to her old ways. Her old self was weak. He had made her even weaker, toying with her heart and then casting it aside the next moment. She had to be strong now.
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Wakka found her at the practice ring, a flat rock platform where Ronso warriors honed their combat skills. The sun was setting, and a cold chill crept back into the air. He squatted on his heels to watch her, more than a little surprised to see a dagger in her hand. She was wielding it slowly and methodically, going over a basic routine that most Yevonite soldiers underwent during training. At first he could not fathom where a temple-raised woman would learn such manoeuvres, but then the answer came upon him in the next moment. Tidus. The name itself cast a shadow over the young man's heart. He still could not believe his best friend would simply desert them all. It was so out of character that he couldn't conceive it.
She noticed him watching her, but she did not make a move to speak to him. Her mind was busy enough trying to remember all the moves she had learned not long ago, disciplining her body to carry them out. It was all coming back to her rather quickly, and soon she fell into the rhythm. There was nothing on her mind but the sword in her hand, the tautness of her muscles as she moved.
The former Yevonite Warrior stood up and approached her, drawing his own blade. "Not bad," he commented with a light smile. "A little rusty, but not bad, ya?"
Yuna stopped and wiped the sweat off her brow. "I just need to know enough to defend myself," she replied coolly, not looking at him. "That's all."
He stopped and frowned at the difference he saw in her. Uncomfortably, he shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Did you . . . I mean, do you wanna talk about it?"
"No," she said sharply. "I don't."
He shook his head at her answer, knowing full well that part of her did. "It's okay, ya? It helps to talk. I'm a good listener, you know."
"Wakka, I said no."
"Yuna, lady, you ain't fooling anybody. You can trust me, ya? Just . . . say whatever it is you're feeling right now. Go ahead," he coaxed, sheathing his sword and crossing his heavily muscled arms. "I'm all ears."
She stared at him, torn between shouting at him and relenting. He returned the stare patiently, his expression placid and inviting. She pursed her lips for a moment and then dropped her gaze.
"You want to know what I'm feeling?" she whispered, struggling to neutralize her voice. "You . . . insist on knowing?"
"Whenever you're ready."
"All right. Here's what I'm feeling: I'm angry Wakka," she confessed. "I'm . . . furious, really. But not half as furious as I am hurt. I am so hurt that I can't even stand to think about it without having my heart break all over again. I-I . . . I can't even . . ."
Her voice cracked and she dropped her sword. It clattered piercingly on the stone, but neither she nor Wakka reacted to it. "I can't even picture him in my head without . . . without . . . wanting to scream or cry or hurt someone, anyone, just as long as someone else can feel as torn up as I do."
He took a step closer to her, his brow furrowed with concern for her. In the short time he had to get to know her, Wakka already felt an instinctive brotherly affection for her, and any pain she was feeling was enough to hurt him as well.
She was crying without even realizing it. "A-and, spirits help me, I want him back. I want him back so that I can kill him, or . . . or kiss him or beg him to love me again, or . . . something. I don't know what to do, Wakka," she whispered, closing her eyes. "I never thought I would have to face this without him. He was with me from the beginning, and now . . . now it's like I have go into the darkness alone and blind."
A sob shook her body and she lowered her face into her hands, kneeling down on the stone. "I don't want to be alone, Wakka. I can't be alone. I just can't."
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Wakka sat down in front of her and reached out to clasp her shoulder. "Yuna, you will never be alone. You get the rest of us, ya? We'll stick right along with you, no matter what."
Yuna raised her stricken eyes to him. "I could never ask for a better group of people to walk with me," she told him, her voice sounding a lot like it used to. "I really couldn't. But I could have an entire army of friends at my side and still have no one the way I had him. The way he had me."
Silence fell between them. At long last, Wakka released his hold on her shoulder and spoke again.
"Yuna . . . Mistress Lulu went off to bring him back to us. To you," he told her slowly, unsure exactly how she would handle the news. For a long time she did not say anything and simply stared at him. Then, slowly, understanding dawned upon her.
"Did . . . did she say when she might be back? With him?" she questioned tentatively, hardly daring to breathe. Wakka shook his head.
"She couldn't say," he answered truthfully. "But she did say that Tidus can't have gone very far, ya? Maybe she already caught up with him."
Swallowing heavily, Yuna rose to her feet. "Oh. Good. That's very good."
"Are you all right?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, I'm fine. Everything is fine."
"But . . . ?"
She bit her lip and avoided his eyes. "I just don't know how things will be afterwards. If I see him again, that is. I don't know if it will all go back to normal or if he will still be the . . . the stranger he was one he left."
Wakka opened his mouth to reply, but she held up a hand and shook her head. "But do not worry about it, Wakka," she said smoothly. "I'm sure I will be dead soon enough, and then I will not have to concern myself."
He frowned as he rose to his feet and began walking next to her back to the village.
"You really think you're heading to your end?" he asked, looking flatteringly sceptical. "Well, sorry to disappoint, Yuna, but I think you're wrong."
"Suit yourself," she said with a shrug. "I've prepared myself either way."
Unsure of how to respond, Wakka just sighed and glanced up to admire the dying rays of light in the sky.
Yuna kept walking, having not noticed that her companion had just stopped dead in his tracks. Seconds later, she realized that she was not hearing his heavy footsteps along with hers and paused to question him.
"Wakka, what is it?"
He was staring up at something in the sky with a sickly expression. "We've lingered here too long," he whispered, his mouth going dry. She glanced up and followed his gaze until her eyes came upon a dark shadow moving amongst the pale clouds.
Her heart contracted painfully.
It was a Yevonite falcon.