Disclaimer: Zip a dee doo dah, zip a dee ay. My, oh my what a wonderful day. Plenty of elflings, coming my way. Zip a dee doo dah, zipa dee ay. Hobbits and elf kings, not mine today. But they will be, one of these days!
AN: My grandmother got a laptop. (Hmmm, what wrong with this picture? Grandma and Mom have one… and I don't. Jeeze the younger generation has it rough… jk) neway, Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! places hand over heart and lets several tears roll delicately down face so touched…
Oh yes, and to A. NuEvil, I am so sorry, My computer deleted the A. on the last thank you's, I'll fix that. My bad…
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Legolas surveyed the Hall with a delighted leer on his face that made his companions slightly nervous. Four days was really too long for a rambunctious elf-prince to be cooped up in a room.
He managed to contain his obvious glee at being able to attend an actual dinner. Elves waved and a couple cheers rang out as he proudly took his place at Thranduil's left. The twins watched eagerly as he plopped down into the chair, not even noticing the slight give of the wood.
They discreetly high-fived each other beneath the table as they took their own seats across from the prince. Things should go exactly as planned.
The first, second and third course passed uneventfully, unless you counted the minor squeaks of embarrassment from Legolas as his Ada recounted some of the more embarrassing things he had done, whether they be accident or purposeful. Such as the time he was not paying attention to which door he was walking into, rather preoccupied with an old book, and ended up in a maiden's dressing room.
The prince's neck and cheeks began to turn pink and he coughed suddenly as he downed a glass of water. That had been highly embarrassing, since it was entirely accidental, no matter what Nethidal had said. Weeks had passed before he could look the maiden in the eyes without losing his voice or turning beet red.
The prince was turning a delightful shade of purple, pointedly not looking at the howling twins and busied himself with a mouthful of venison.
"OK, can we not talk about those things anymore?" Asked Legolas pleadingly. "Isn't it enough that I had to live through it, never mind being reminded of it? Besides, look, dessert's coming!"
A great array of desserts, pudding, cakes, and many elvish pastries were brought in, and the laughter and chatter died down to a low mumbling as the elves loaded their plates and began chewing.
As Legolas loaded his plate, finding that he did indeed have room for more, he leaned way over to the right, fingers stretching for a bowl of whipped cream. His chair gave a crack of protest. He casually glanced down to see what the problem was, all the while leaning even further.
He looked down just in time to see the halfway sawed through chair legs give way with a crack. Letting out a most undignified shriek, he went down, fingers clutching at the tablecloth in a vain effort to catch himself. Bad idea.
The tablecloth went down with him, frosting, pudding, and pies landing directly a top of him. Trying to leap up and away from the table, Legolas got his foot entangled in the cloth and went back down with a huge thud. Now in a blind panic, he pulled away but only succeeded in wrapping the tablecloth further around his body.
Rolling onto his back, he finally stopped moving and glared across the table at Elladan and Elrohir, who were trying most unsuccessfully to refrain from laughing. As a matter of fact, the entire Hall rocked with merry laughter.
Face burning beneath the whipped cream, Legolas struggled to his feet with only a minor stumble. Arms pinned to his sides, he wriggled out of his cocoon, eyes burning with wrath.
Advancing toward the twins, who were preoccupied congratulating each other, he snatched up two mostly undamaged pies and let them fly. Elladan turned incredulously, peering through cherry filling, and his brother wiped away blueberry. Legolas noted with some satisfaction that the younger twin was now stained pink.
Turning, he began to stalk out of the Hall content that some of his dignity had been saved. Flinging open the door, he was rewarded with a bucket of hot sauce. Spluttering, wiping frantically at his eyes, he felt for the door frame and leaned against it. Laughter reached his ears, and his face began to burn again.
Turning ever so slowly, he pointed at the twins and beckoned to them. They came slowly, slightly apprehensive, but mostly laughing. Sneezing, eyes burning, he led the way outside and to a pond.
"Very nice." He said dryly, plunging his head into the water. One rough push later, and he was sitting in the pool, water streaming through his hair. "You little--! I oughtta…"
Twin yells followed as the twins jumped into the pool, submerging completely and vigorously scrubbing at their hair in an attempt to get the crust out.
Legolas climbed out of the pond and sat on a rock, wringing his clothes out and still spitting out the taste of spice. "How long have you been planning that?"
"Ever since you dumped the honey on us. And the oatmeal and rude awakening helped speed things up."
"Well, I'm touched by your attention, but if you want to stay on my good side, you'd better knock it off."
"Why?" Elladan spit a stream of water in Legolas' general direction. "Are you the kind of elf who holds a grudge?"
"No!" Legolas exclaimed, highly offended. "And I am never going to forget you said that. Now, do you want to go exploring or not?"
"I don't know." Elrohir said doubtfully. "The last time we went 'exploring', you got attacked by orcs."
"Well, let's put it this way… are you afraid of tunnels?"
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"Why are we here again?"
"I want to see Mordax. You can wait for a few minutes. Don't you want to see him? He did let you ride him."
"Yes, well, he also flipped us over his head at the end."
"At the moment, I'm not sure I blame him. Shhh, let me go first."
Legolas vaulted the stall door as he had done so many times before. Mordax whickered happily as the prince ran his hands along the strong frame. "Hello, my dold bennas. How are you?"
Mordax snorted and laid his big head on the prince's shoulder. Legolas gave it a quick hug, and then a gentle slap. "Now, I told you not to throw my friends off. I appreciate your coming back for me, but do you think you could have let them climb off?"
The stallion pranced backward and tossed his head proudly.
"Hmmph." Legolas ran his hand along his horse's side, gently checking the white bandage that stood out clearly against the black hide. He snorted in disgust and anger, sounding more like Mordax than he knew, a fact that Elrohir pointed out in a low whisper.
Mordax sidled, ears pricked toward the door. Legolas reprimanded him with a mild cuff. "Behave! That's Elrohir and Elladan. You owe them an apology. Come here, guys."
The twin's heads poked around a corner, followed by a couple of very fidgety bodies. Legolas pushed open the door and motioned them closer. "He won't bite." Then, in an undertone, "Don't you dare bite."
"You behave! They won't hurt you, they won't hurt me, they're decent elves. Unless you get on their bad side. Now apologize."
Mordax flicked his tail irritably, then nickered and stretched out his neck, allowing the twins to touch his nose for a brief instant, then lowered himself into a graceful bow.
Abruptly, he reared back and flailed at the air. Legolas ducked out of the way and soothed him, the twins turned and ran. "Well. That was a start." The prince admitted pleased that everything had gone so well. That was the absolute best behavior he had ever been on. "Maybe there's hope for you yet." He whispered, patting the neck one last time and hurrying to catch up to the twins.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"OK, are you ready?"
Elladan nodded, eyeing the passage nervously. They had gone back to the palace, changed clothes, and listened to some of the story telling. The twins had listened to Mirkwood's old tales with fascination.
Along with stories, there were also songs. Legolas had sung with another elf, a chanting rhythmic piece, very short by the standards of the elves, but nice all the same.
Maybe we should all look backAnd see how far we've come
Dancing under the glitt'ring stars
And rising with the sun. Remember the days
And nights of old
Feel the sun upon your back
And see the fireflies, sparkle gold. The memories and familiar sights
We see in all our dreams
But how to know in the time of night
If things are indeed as they seem Times of darkness guide us now
The trees will help as well
Shall we fade into the West?
Only time will tell.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Before anyone had a chance to say anything, the prince snatched the neck of Elladan's tunic and Elrohir's sleeve. "Come on, now's our chance, when they're changing musicians."
Pulling them along, he had dragged them up to his room and showed them how to open the passage.
"Are you sure it's safe?" Elrohir asked timidly.
Legolas shrugged. "It's pretty sound. We have to wedge something in the door to keep it from shutting, but otherwise, yes, it's safe."
"And you've done this how many times before?"
"Well, come on, what are we waiting for?" Legolas shoved them forward and pulled the door shut behind him, checking that the tunic would indeed keep the door from totally closing.
"Well," Elrohir remarked. "If we run into any trouble, we can always ask you to sing and scare them away."
"Shut up."
They slowly started forward, not exactly scared, but not so much at ease that they would burst out in song. "You've lived here all your life and never noticed this?" Elladan asked skeptically,
"Well, I wasn't exactly inclined to sit in one place staring at a tapestry for hours on end." Legolas replied snippily. "I had better things to do, like stay out of reach of Ada and anyone else I happened to catch in a trick."
"Hey, we're going down." Elrohir noted in surprise.
"Gee, we've been going down for the past 15 minutes, 'Ro." His brother remarked snidely.
"No, I mean it's really sloping. Uh, Legolas, I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Now what? Look, there's absolutely nothing to be scared—AAAAAIIIIIII!" Legolas scrambled madly backward, plowing into the twins and ending up on the floor. He backed against them, eyes fixed on the skeleton hidden in a small nook.
"Who—what—is that?" Elladan gasped out.
"I don't know, and I don't care!" Legolas leaped to his feet and turned, fully intending to race all the way back to the Hall and leap into his Ada's arms. But there was a slight problem. "Which way do we go?"
The tunnels branched off in many different directions; the skeleton was at a crossroad of sorts. Seven passageways arced off in different directions. And he had no idea where to go. They were—
"—So doomed." Elrohir was saying. "Don't you have any clues to our whereabouts?"
Legolas shook his head, completely at a loss. "No. Not even our dungeons reach this far. We passed what was probably the turnoff for them half an hour ago. I'm guessing… that way."
The twins exchanged a glance. "I knew something bad was going to happen!" moaned Elrohir. "I knew it!"
"Oh hush, you big baby. Let him think." Elladan scolded, gently. He was not entirely comfortable so deep underground himself, but though the tunnels were interesting, he had no desire to spend the rest of his life trapped down there.
Legolas stood completely still, ears pricked. He could hear something… but where was it? More importantly, what was it? A voice? Coming from… "That way."
He began to jog down the darkest creepiest tunnel there was. Elrohir's groan probably could have been heard at the feast, and Elladan grabbed him by the nape of the neck and dragged him along.
Down, down, ever down, with the echoing voice reaching the twin's ears as well. It bounced off the walls, creating a sound wave that increased in pitch as they got deeper. Without warning, the ground opened underneath Legolas and he plummeted from sight.
Elladan skidded to a halt at the brink of the abyss, teetering off balance. Just as he thought he was home free, his brother slammed into him, sending them both hurtling down a steep slope, bouncing along the rough, rocky incline and coming to rest directly upon their friend.
"Ow."
"Oh dear."
"Valar, some help would be appreciated."
Elladan untangled himself from Elrohir and sat up, peering through the murky dark. Torches burned above them, but there were none in the pit where they had fallen. It was so dark, even their elven eyes could barely see their hands in front of their faces.
Legolas shoved what appeared to be a foot out of his rib cage and stretched, feeling along the wall. "Are you both ok?"
"Oh yes, we fell down into a pit and we're stuck in a tunnel with no idea how to get out. Everything's just peachy."
"Ha ha, 'Dan. Where are you, Legolas?"
"Well, I think you're sitting on me, for one thing. In case that's too complicated, look down." Legolas felt the weight shift and remove itself. "Diola lle. Now, how do we get out of here?"
"Don't ask us. It wasn't our bright idea to come down here."
"OK, you know what, Elladan, your sarcasm isn't helping. Shut up."
"Thank you, 'Ro. Now let's see. Oh, here's where we fell down, if we follow it back up, we should be able to find our way back from there."
The long slow trek back up the incline was not pleasant. Rocks kept sliding out from under them, more often than not putting them back a few feet. The fact that they couldn't see what was happening around them did not help.
Up toward the top, things got better, then worse. The good news, light began to filter down through the gloom, making it much easier to navigate. The bad news—the steep slope became an almost vertical wall of stone for the last eight feet.
Amid muttered curses and general bad moods all around, they attacked the wall with a savage ferocity. And learned the hard way that slippery cracks and bumps in the walls are better handled with slow, precise measures.
"Well, this worked like a dream." Legolas Greenleaf muttered unhappily, clinging to the wall like a spider, limbs stretched to reach the firmest cracks. His hand stretched, reaching for the lip of the drop-off and coming up six inches too short. He couldn't drop back to the ground to try again, the slope was so steep he'd end up back at the bottom. And he couldn't reach the top, no matter how hard he stretched. He was stuck, unless one of the twins reached the top and pulled him up.
A cool, clammy hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled, lifted him up with almost unnatural strength, depositing him on the edge. "By the Valar, you're stronger than you look!"
"Who are you talking to?" Chorused two voices. Puzzled, Legolas leaned over the lip and saw the twins clinging to the wall, in almost the same predicament he had been in not 30 seconds earlier.
He spun, looking for his rescuer, but saw no one. Frowning, he gave his friends a hand up and turned again, searching the passageway again. "Did you see anybody…?"
"No. Why?"
"Never mind. Now, how do we get out of here?"
A cool breeze played around them, curling around their arms and raising the hairs on the back of their necks. A voice that could have shattered glass, it was so cool, resounded.
"Why have you entered my lair?"
"Um, your lair? I don't understand…"
"Ah, they never do, young prince, don't worry. You're not alone there."
Legolas whirled about, searching for the source of the voice. Elladan and Elrohir moved forward, presenting a united front.
"And look who we have here. The sons of Elrond as well!" The voice sounded genuinely pleased, and the coolness lifted off a bit. "What honor have I done to deserve this?"
"Who are you? For that matter, where are you? How can you see us if we cannot see you?" Legolas tried to keep his voice steady, but it cracked on the last you.
The voice noted the slight tremble, as did the twins. "You're not scared of me, are you little prince?" It asked in amusement and delight.
"Whether it was the insult to his courage, or the slight accentuation of the word 'little, (Elladan suspected the latter) Legolas pulled himself together and held back the impulse to run yammering for all he was worth. "We're not leaving until you answer us."
"Us?" Elrohir whispered in alarm. Legolas paid them no mind.
"Who are you, to order me?" The voice screeched. The temperature dropped, and mist swirled around their legs. Unintentionally, Legolas faltered backwards. "You cannot enforce this demand! Unless you have a weapon other than your dagger, my orcs will have your heads in seconds. This time, I'll let them kill you. Oh, by the way? How is your horse?"
Rage flowed through Legolas' veins as the mention of Mordax brought to mind the incident nearly five days before. He stepped forward, intent on finding the owner of the voice and strangling them.
An arrow flew out of the darkness, skittered at his feet. He jumped backwards, and only the quickness of the twins saved him from another nasty tumble. "Get out of my tunnels! OUT! Your kind do not belong here! Leave now! When you get to the seven branches, take the far left. Good bye."
Another arrow shot out of the darkness, narrowly missing Elrohir's head. He yelled and ran, brother and friend close behind.
Legolas fumbled for his dagger, the pounding of his feet matching the pounding of his heart. He turned only once to hurl the weapon at an uncomfortably close bow-legged shape. He noted, with some satisfaction, that the choked scream did not last very long.
The howls of fury on the other hand, scared him out of a hundred years growth.
"Gee, thanks a lot! Make them really mad why don't you?"
"Oh, all right, I just thought maybe you'd prefer running to getting your head chopped off. But if not, the latter can definitely be arranged!"
Elladan wisely chose to keep quiet.
With the orcan shriek in their ears, (and occasionally some of their own) they made their way back to Legolas' room.
They entered somewhat unceremoniously, tumbling in a heap. Legolas extricated himself and flung his body at the door, slamming it shut just as the first orc turned the last corner. Bracing against the door, (he fully expected the creatures to try and break it down), he was surprised when the expected pounding did not occur.
After several moments, he stepped away with a nervous glance in the twin's direction. "Do you think they're gone?"
"Do you want to look?" Elrohir replied.
"Point taken."
"Look, I hate interrupting this enlightening conversation, " Elladan remarked, "but shouldn't we go tell the king?"
"I knew that." Legolas raced for the door. Suddenly he came to a complete stop, causing the Elladan and Elrohir to slam into him once again. Hopping over the sprawled, cursing Noldor elves, he whirled around his room snatching his bow, knives and about four other daggers.
"Have enough there?"
Legolas appeared from under his bed, clutching his quiver. "I think so. We're going into the wood you know."
"But I thought your Ada said that on the festival day nothing would attack the path." Elrohir protested.
"Oh that. We're not taking the path." He stopped, a diabolical grin coming over his face. "Can you imitate ghosts?"
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
AN: Ahh, well, hate to say it but I'm thinking of not continuing this story… jk, actually, I'm pretty happy with the way this is turning out, so I'm definitely going to finish it. And I swear on my complete boxed set, platinum, special edition, Extended version, LotR DvD's that you will get at least one update each week. Seeing as it's summer vacation, I have waaaay too much time on my hands. And keep a look out for Return of the Squirrels, part II of the Squirrel Chronicles, coming soon to a site near you! Ahem, I'm better now.
The authoress would like to thank:werewolflemming: Thanks, I like making my disclaimer fun-it keeps me from falling asleep when I write it… I love secret passageways, but I wouldn't want to be lost in one. –shudders- I have a penchant for coloring food, (green and blue pancakes, red cheerios etc) so I just made it dye instead of food coloring. Do they even have food coloring in middle earth?
Slayer3: ok, here's moremoremoremoremore! Glad you like it so much! Ah, another completely obsessed person! Nice to meet you! Btw, did it annoy you at all when they didn't put the twins in the movie? I know it ticked me off!
Haldir's Heart and Soul: Pride… it's all about the pride…
Cklovesme2040: Eep! Sorry this one took so long! Thanks for your review!
The AmazingTechnocolorRingWraith: Some questions are hopefully answered, while more appear… jeez I suck at being an oracle.
Romen: Updated. Updated. Updated. Reboot. Reboot. Ahem, I'm high on Baby Bottle Pops, scusi. Thanks for reviewing!
darklink231: I love mischievous elves! Thank you, thank you very much. (Jeez, I can't even imitate Elvis on the computer)
firehottie: Thanks!
Aranna Undomiel: Thank you, happy you like it! I absolutely love the 'young troublemaker' stories, especially as the elves are so serious in the movies and books. Go twins!