Chapter Eritrea: Nintendo Dingo Specimen
Chuck used laser eyes to blast Chris. Chris dodged because he had main character syndrome. He then shooted lasers of his own from his solar-powered missile launcher.
"HA!" scoffed Chuck. "I activate my trap!" He lifted the table and threw it at those lasers. "Where is your hope now, Chrissy Boy?"
Chris whined about his relationship with Sonic and thought about how lonely his dumb upper-class life was. "I have no friends!" he mourned. He thought about Ella, Tanaka, Danny, Helen, Francis, and that one kid who heard he was from Station SQUAW! These were not really his friends. His only friend was Sonic, who never once treated him like dirt.
"I can't believe my life is so miserable!" wept Chris and it seriously annoyed the viewers to their cores. They took off their shoes and tossed them at the telly with writhing anger.
Chris continued to cry about his state of existence. Grandpa Chuck snickered and did manly destructions.
Chris cried some more. He was really, really emotional.
"Well, is the death of heroic honour a true tale of loss?" asked Chuck with deadly fangs piercing gazes.
"I need to be strong like Sonic!" said Chris with effort. He tore off his shirt and revealed his tremendous six-pack of mighty glory. Chuck shielded his eyes because the gorgeous tones were so effective at destroying robotic eyeballs. Chuck lost many eyes all of a sudden.
"My stinking eyes!" wailed the cyborg grandpappy.
"You have offended my millennial abilities!" roared Chris as his hair turned from brown to gold. He took out his sword and swung it at Chuck. Chuck got sliced in half and his whole world went error 404.
" : ( " screeched Chuck.
Chris then hacked and slashed like a barbarian of justice. He was getting ultra Rambo at this point and Chuck could not stand the heat.
"Ya'll is a deadman!" grunted Chris as he did the ultimate pose of power and ki blasted Chuck's smithereens into more smithereens. "You are a finished individual!"
Tanaka awoke and saw such glory and power. He wept as he thought about how growed up his Master Chris was. "Oh, Master Chris!" he said with his face of tears.
Chris descended from the skies and held his bleeding butler with caring and loving arms. The arms were beefy and had the biceps of Hercules.
"Master Chris, I am fading…" coughed Tanaka.
This was so sad!
Chris wept and his tears and mourning nasal residue mingled with Tanaka's blood. Suddenly Tanaka felt so much stinking power. He levitated off the ground and glowed with golden aura.
Chris could not believe his eyes. Through the intervention of manly tears, his beautiful butler had been reborn as TanakaEXE.
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