Author's Note: Well, nobody asked for this but here it is non-the-less. Still un-beta-ed as I'm trying to keep my one and only volunteer happy and relatively work-free.
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, Hitokiri Kenshin, or any Kenshin in between.
Why Can't They See?
Part Two: Differences
Behind him Sano and Yahiko waited at the gate, but it was the young kenjutsu instructor before him that drew all his attention.
He could see the tension which dispelled the natural grace he admired. He could see the slight furrowing of the pale brow. But there was a smile. That beautiful smile that told the world light had defeated shadow. All would be well. As well as it could be. He smiled in return, smiled through his guilt and sadness. He couldn't let her see them. They were emotions better left bottled up, far removed from the joyful innocence she possessed. He stood before her trying to find the words that always eluded him when she was near. What could he say, now, at this point anyway? Nothing would ever make up for what he was about to do. For what he might do. For what he done.
His hands were stained. Blood that he could never seem to wash away coated his hands and incased his soul. He was guilty of so many sins. He was a murderer. It mattered not that he had answered the call of his country, mattered not to him that he had followed his beliefs. He was still guilty. Dirty. Impure. Unfit.
They were so different, polar opposites. He learned to kill, excelled in murder, and was rightfully feared for his past. He was filled with grief, guilt, doubt and so many other emotions that weighted his soul and tainted any hope to be found. She was taught to cherish life, was raised to follow a foolish and naïve philosophy that she could wield a weapon without bloodshed. She was loved and cared for, whole, able to love and forgive.
He had made a vow to never take another life, but had come close on many occasions to breaking it. He was dangerous even though he tried to live another life, even though he tried to deny what was lurking within. He would do nothing but shatter her idealized view of the world, could do nothing but bring pain and hardship.
Why did they look at him with trust and love?
Why could they not see he was a direct threat to their safety? Why must he always be forced to remind them? Why couldn't they just leave him alone, let him run far and fast to save them? And now he was leaving, with people who call him friend. He was taking away those she cherished most, placing them in harm's way, when she had done everything she could to keep them.
Why could she still not open her eyes to their differences?