THIS, NOW, IS YOUR DELIVERANCE

to the one i hurt so much… i pray to the heavens… every night… to heal the pain… that might still burden you inside… -- "sorry"

~*~*~*~

CHAPTER SEVEN: Deliverance

Hermione spun around, a smile played on her lips. But her expression quickly turned sombre when Draco only looked at her blankly – or maybe this was a face that showed her his vulnerability for there was no expression of arrogance… It was empty… like she was supposed to fill him with something to feel.

"I…"

"You see, there's something worse than dying, Granger. Living like a prisoner sort of wins it all, doesn't it?"

"But you're not a prisoner here, Draco."

Draco breathed out heavily; shaking his head. "I'm a prisoner of Voldemort. Do you not think that he's out there searching for me? The moment I step out that door…"

"He would mercilessly kill you just like he did all the other Death Eaters who turned against him," Hermione finished as Draco's words faded. She caught him wince at her words but something told her it wasn't about what she said. Because even if it was hardly a second, she saw him shook his right hand as if getting rid of a pang of pain that just crawled through his arm. "It was real, then?" Draco turned away. "The pictures… the places… the… the visions I've seen…"

But although he still had the scars to prove it, he couldn't help but doubt if they happened. After all, where was the dagger that started everything? "I don't know," he replied, far more honest than what he had intended to be.

"You don't know?" Hermione said impatiently.

Draco glared at her, not pleased that she was doubting him… after all these. "I asked for death in the visions, didn't I?" he snapped. "Destiny was supposed to give me death. Do I look dead to you, Granger?"

"No." Hermione shook her head a she tried to meet his eyes. "No. You asked to be free, Draco. Death was what you wanted. Or what you think you deserved. But you're not the one who calls the shots."

"What do you know about what I want?"

She stepped forwards – unafraid this time. There were only a few paces in between them now and she wanted him to hear every – single – word she had to say. "The fact that since that night you escaped Voldemort and came here with Snape hoping that the Order would believe you were here to revive me – that you didn't kill me… you stayed here. Here, Draco – within the protection of the Order. You didn't go and get yourself killed. You waited for me. You waited to see when I'd wake up. You wanted to know that I would be okay. Because that's what you wanted, Draco. You wanted to change. And that saved you. Now, you know that this… this is your second chance. This, now, is your deliverance – a clean slate which you would choose whether to taint or to live up to. You sought for a choice. And destiny gave it to you."

There was silence for a while. Draco found himself staring through her eyes again – like that night when all he could reach for was her gaze to keep him from falling to the ground. And this they would both remember… without fate interfering with their memories – his eyes watered with salty tears as he unburdened his pains for her to see. "But is this what I deserve, Granger?" he muttered, unwilling to break his gaze.

Hermione pressed her lips together and heaved a sigh. She reached for his hand and felt… warmth. "I know you want to prove more than this – even if you might deny it. But this is only the start. You know that Harry is risking a lot when you were welcomed here. And when he forced himself to trust Snape going back to Voldemort. But, Draco, believe me. We are faced with the same choice very – single – minute – of – every – day. You're with us now. And I know that I can trust you. I trusted you with my life. I'm not going to doubt dong that again."

Draco smirked – more friendly than his arrogant sneers. He reached into his robes and pulled out a wand then stretched his hands to Hermione. "This belongs to you." Hermione recognised her wand and accepted it even with the curious expression on her face. "It was Snape. He was one of them who broke in to your house that night." He stopped but Hermione waited knowing that there was something more to it than he was letting out. "He was the one who taught me the nonverbal spell I had to perform aside from the killing curse. It was a risk – because we had to come here and try to rescue you. No one would know you're still alive unless I myself lifted the curse.

"They almost killed us – well, Weasley had his hands around my neck even before Potter could aim his wand at me." He smiled when Hermione let out a soft laugh. "I know it's not only Harry who's risking a lot taking me in and trusting Snape. It's all the people in there. But I'm used to being hated; and people watching their backs while I'm around doesn't quite live up to the usual loathing I get." He took in a deep breath. He was alive and for now, out of Voldemort's reach… but somehow, "I don't belong here, Granger," he said, turning back to the sunset he was watching. Hermione watched him lean back on his tree. His skin finally reflected the glorious colours of the sun's rays. "I'm not like you and everyone in there. I don't do battles. I don't take Killing Curses for someone else –"

"Didn't you just risk your life for me?"

However, Draco ignored her and continued, "– But for now, this'll do." And he let out a contented sigh; realising that this was the most human conversation he had ever had in his life. It was different – not being chided on what was supposed to be; what he was supposed to do.

It was uncertain, that was for sure.

But he never felt more at ease.

~*~*~*~

you won't hear me weep in the dark / you won't see me shed a tear tonight / you won't know that i'd find time to hurt later / and you'll never learn that i'd brave to cry some time -- "cry some time"