Lucas faces Brooke, and things don't go the way you would think. Okay I was rushed on this one.. so if it sucks blame Meghan and Carly. I want to take the time to thank all of you who have reviewed. Kelly, Matt, Jess, MGH Thanks guys ! It really means a lot to me.
As always, I hope you enjoy.
If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes
As Lucas walked up on his porch, he prepared himself for the onslaught. He spotted Brooke's Bug parked on the street. Knowing a battle lay before him he squared his shoulders and walked into the bedroom.
Sure enough, she sat on his bed with her back to him. Much like the position she was in the other day when he returned from the airport.
The realization that that had only been yesterday struck him hard. Only yesterday that he had been willing to fight for their relationship. What a difference a day made. But just not an ordinary day, he thought with a smile, a day with Peyton.
Sighing heavily, he hoped that there would be many more of those days.
Brooke, hearing his sigh, turned slightly to look over her shoulder at him. He could see that she was crying, and it tugged at his heart. He hadn't wanted this, hadn't wanted to hurt her.
But he knew the longer he lived the lie, the worse it would be. He just didn't want to hurt her any further.
Turning back away from his gaze, Brooke looked down and Lucas noticed she was holding something in her lap.
His pulse sped up, he placed the grocery bag on the floor and walked around the end of the bed. She was just sitting there holding it on her lap, looking at it as if it were poison.
Several emotions overcame him. Guilt. Embarrassment. Fear. But the strongest one was anger. "What the hell are you doing going through my stuff?" He yelled at her as she looked up at him.
"Why do you still have it?" the question was no more than a whisper but it shot straight to his heart. He knew he should not have yelled at her. The emotions brought on by seeing that black box, were not her fault.
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair making it spike up even more. "Brooke, we have been over this, I told you why I kept the box." He said with a sigh, he was so tired.
She looked down at the box in her hands, "Are you sure that is why, Lucas?"
What a tangled web we weave .. he thought as he looked at her. No it wasn't why, if only he had been honest with her then. But a broken heart is a hard thing to get over, and what's worse was admitting to having one in the first place.
"Brooke, I need to tell you something" he frowned, looking down.
"How about the truth" She breathed out as she looked sadly into his eyes "Do you love me?" she asked shakily.
Sighing he avoided her gaze, "Brooke, it is not that simple. I do love you.. " he paused searching to find the right words.
Brooke looked down at the box perched carefully in her lap, and stoked her hand across the lid. "It has gotten bigger" she said with wonder as if she had just realized it.
"What?" He ground out confused, turning back to face her.
"The box, it is bigger… it is not the same one I saw……" she trailed off as she began to lift the lid off.
"Don't!" He barked as he lunged for the box.
The mixture of his outburst startling her and two pair of hands grasping at it had sent the box flying through the air, until it came to rest on it's side in the middle of the floor.
The lid had come off and the contents were scattered here and there.
He watched as a black feather drifted slowly to the ground.
"My Angel of Death" he thought as he saw the feather finally come to rest on his floor. How dark and beautiful she had looked that night. He had felt jealous watching her dance with Mouth, but he had shoved those feelings down. He had been there to try to convince Bro..
Brooke, he jerked out of his daze. He quickly put those thoughts aside as he glanced at her. She had not noticed his momentary absence, as all of her attention was focused on the items that had fallen out of the box.
She quickly glanced over a couple of photos and letters that she had already seen when she went through his "Peyton Box" the first time. But then her gaze stopped on and item and with a sharp intake of breath, her hand flew to her chest.
He followed her stare to the blue shirt lying half spread out on the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut as the memories began to take over again. "If I said I love you right now…."
Brooke got up off the bed and went to stand over the shirt. Her eyes filled with tears, as she remembered watching him carry Peyton out of the school that day, wishing it had been her.
Pulling himself out of the past, he opened his eyes to look at her. She was looking so broken that it filled his heart with regret. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, with the pain evident in his clear blue eyes "Brooke" he started only to be cut off by her.
"Don't Lucas" she said as she bent down to pick up the shirt. "You Bastard" she choked out as she looked at the dark stains on the fabric.
Washing the shirt had merely turned the stains black.
"I knew it then, I just didn't want to believe it" She turned from him to look out the window.
The tears stinging her eyes as she continued "How long have you two been screwing behind my back?"
"Brooke, it is not like that, Okay? It's …" he paused searching for the words but finding that they would not come. In truth he could not explain it, well not in a way that she would want to hear.
"It's what, Lucas? Please don't try to tell me you two haven't done anything. Peyton told me yesterday that she was still in love with you, so I know this is just .."
"What!" he interrupted her
"Yeah, I know all about the two of you, Lucas. I can't believe that I .."
"Brooke" he said as he walked over to stand in front of her, "what did Peyton tell you?" His face a mixture of confusion and wonder, as he looked expectantly at her.
She knew then, "You don't really don't know, do you?" She had just known that they had plotted all of this behind her back. That Peyton and Lucas were having a great laugh at her expense. But she had been wrong, Lucas had no clue about Peyton's feelings about him.
"No, I don't .. tell me" he demanded quietly, his voice low.
"Well it seems that my ex-best friend is still hung up on you too!" she shook the shirt at him with emphasis.
Peyton still has feelings for me. A small smile touched his lips at the thought, before he quickly erased it. He needed to focus on what was happening now..
Brooke saw the smile before he hid it, he was happy that Peyton was still in love with him. Because he is still in love with her, she thought bitterly.
"You both are so full of crap, trust me Brooke, I wouldn't do that to you, Brooke, I love you… what bull." She stormed as she walked over and kicked the box across the floor, throwing the shirt down in the doorway of the closet.
He ran his hands through his hair again, "Brooke, I am sorry.."
"You never loved me, Lucas, Did you?" she asked as she turned to look at him.
"Of course I did.. I do" His gaze faltered with the last two words.
"But just not the way you love her" she whispered "Look at me, Lucas" she pleaded, tears fresh in her eyes.
He brought his eyes up to meet hers, he saw the pain there but saw something else, too. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on.
"Do you remember when I told you I wished it had been me?"
"Yes" he answered quickly.
"Well I didn't really mean I wished that I had gotten shot" looking down at her hands, clasped together in front of her. "I wished that you would think of me when I wasn't around, that you would call me for no reason, just to hear my voice. I wanted you to look me, just once, the way you look at her." Her gaze pleading with him as she drew in a ragged breath.
"I wanted you to love me the way you love her." She finished sadly, knowing he never would. He had given his heart to another and never gotten it back.
"Brooke, I don't know what to say.." he started
"Then don't say anything, Lucas. We both have known that it wasn't right between us for a long time. We just didn't want to admit it." She reached out and grabbed one of his hands in hers.
"Lucas, to be honest I don't think I really love you either. And I am not just saying that because of this" she waved her other hand gesturing at the items lying on the floor.
"I have been taking a look at my life lately, and I don't like what I see. I am not happy" she sighed "I think I was in love with the idea of being in love, you know? And now I realize that I don't want to be tied down to someone, I want to live my life. I want to do what I want, when I want and how I want. And when I do want a relationship, I want it to be with someone who loves me just as much as I love them. No question." She pulled his hand up to lock their fingers.
"You are a good person, Lucas. I hate that we could not make this work, but you know what they say "you don't have to force love, it just comes." She half smiled at him.
He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. Bringing his hand up to stroke her hair he asked " Are you sure you are going to be okay?"
She pulled away from him, her hands resting on his chest, his on her shoulders. "Yes, I am going to be fine" she replied with a nod of her head.
"How about you" she asked after a moment, looking at him.
"Yeah, I am good" he winked and smirked.
"Good" she half smiled "Well I am going to get out of here, I am meeting Rachel."
Sighing Lucas looked at her "Brooke, what is going on with you and Peyt….
"Ahhh" he said as if it had just sunk in "the whole fight thing with you and Peyton was because of me"
"And you are supposed to be the smart one" she quipped as she saw the shirt lying on the floor. "We called it quits"
"Brooke, you forgave me" he reasoned as he walked toward her again "Why can't you forgive her?"
"I have not forgiven either of you" she snorted as she bent over and picked it up. "I am just not going to stand in the way of true love anymore" she smiled as she threw the shirt at him.
He caught it easily and looked at her for a minute. "True Love?" he sighed.
"Yes, Lucas. You know it, she knows it, We ALL know it. So do us all a favor and stop brooding and go tell her that you love her too" she said exasperatedly as toward the door.
"Brooke" he called to her just as she reached the door. She stopped and looked around. "Thanks" he smirked.
"What would Tree Hill do without Brooke Davis" she laughed as turned back and walked out the door, not bothering to shut it on her way out.