Chapter Evil: Beagle Snooper
"Captain Falcon, my comrade from my favourite source of perfection!" said Blaze as she ate pasta with the newcomer with high enthusiasm. "What is up, my glorious homie?"
"I died, Blaze…" said the captain sadly.
Blaze fell to her knees and wept bitter tears for her friend. Captain Falcon wept too.
"Why didn't you tell me?" mourned Blaze. She looked at her rings and thought about resurrection plots.
"I guess we need to have a funeral…" said Falcon. The two went to the graveyard and had their service.
"We are gathered here today for the death and burial of Mr. Douglas J. Falcon…" said Ray the Flying Squirrel, reading from a booklet with his own two hands.
"How did I die?" asked Captain Falcon.
"Like a hero!" said Ray and he took some purple underoos and handed them safely to Falcon.
Falcon placed the purple underoos on over his blue pants of racecar powers and thought about his newly dead rear.
Blaze eyed Falcon's rear. "What a dead rear," she said, opening winrar and naming her files after Kevin.
"Who's Kevin?" asked one of the guys at the funeral that wasn't fun for anybody.
"Kevin died too," said Ray and everyone started to cry again. Not only was Captain Falcon dead, but Kevin was dead too.
"Can I just say something?" asked Blaze with her cat ears doing the epic thing.
"Yeah, Miss Blaze, but you have to promise great truth," said Ray. He held out a scroll and Blaze placed her hand upon it. Blaze recited the Creed of Dudes and slathered her eyebrows in ham-flavoured jam. The ham-flavoured jellyfish saw of the feline authenticity and allowed the rites to progress.
"What a great thing," said Mace Windu, who was sitting in the back alongside Nick Fury and Frozone. They were all really, really cool, but somewhat eyepatchy.
"I just wanted to say 'Bologna'," said Blaze. She then shut her mouth and looked tearfully at Falcon.
"Oh man," said Ray with his life hearing good vibes.
"Oh man," said Falcon.
"Oh man," said the choir behind Ray.
"Oh panda," said Windu.
"Where?" asked Blaze.
Windu stood up and revealed to everyone the truth. "The secret is that I was Captain Falcon the whole time, you dumb idiots!"
What a shock to all, I say!
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