Max was trembling as she held her cellphone in her hands.
She stared intently at the black screen, completely still, her mind in another place. Chloe's warmth radiated close behind her, the two girls sitting on the couch together with Max pulled back onto the taller girl's lap. Chloe hadn't even asked -she just instinctively knew that what Max needed most was for her best friend's support- so she had wrapped her arms around the smaller girl from behind and guided her down on the couch with their legs intertwined and Max's back rested against Chloe's chest. Max felt safer this way, protected.
Her morning adventure with their apartment neighbor had stirred up feelings Max had been trying to suppress. Ms. Dawkins had been so lovely to her on their walk, and Max couldn't help but wonder about the woman who lived on her own.
Surely she has a family, but where are they? Max had thought before naturally reminding herself that she had been avoiding her own.
It had been on her mind while the two girls played cards, and Max had glanced at Chloe, with one hand in her pocket as she absentmindedly fiddled with the present she was hiding, and wondered if Chloe had been thinking about her own mother now that it was Christmas Eve. A pang of sorrow and guilt had shot through Max at the thought of Joyce being able to hear and see the two girls, and knew that if it were the other way round -that if it were Max who was orphaned while Chloe's mother and stepfather were alive- Joyce would do anything to reach out to her daughter to know if she was safe.
Max was acutely aware that Chloe wanted her to talk to her parents, too.
Now is the time to fess up, if any. Max had admitted to herself before taking a breath and confessing to Chloe what was on her mind.
Now here the two girls found themselves, and Max brought herself back from reality with a shake of her head while her best friend held her patiently.
"I'm here Max, when you're ready." Gentle fingers wrapped around Max's wrists in an attempt to ease her shaking. Max sighed at the touch. She pressed the power button and let the phone start itself up.
Here goes…something.
Multiple notifications lit up the phone's screen and she let it just do its thing as it adjusted to being back in service.
So many text messages, missed phone calls, voicemails…
A minute or two later the phone finally settled down. Most of her messages were from her parents asking for updates and trying to get in contact. Guilt instantly overcome her and her trembling continued as she let out a long sigh.
C'mon Max! You can travel through time and have fought off friggin' serial killers, you can do this. It's just Mom and Dad. Quit being so chickenshit and call them, you owe it to them!
She flicked through her contacts and let her thumb momentarily hover over the call-button for "Home". Chloe was silent but gave her a small, reassuring squeeze and she could feel her watching over her shoulder. Max pushed the call button, watched as the green 'dialing' screen appeared, then selected 'speakerphone on' so that Chloe would be able to hear everything and be part of the conversation. The dial-tone rang once before being answered on the other end.
A second's pause, "…Maxine?"
"Mom?"
"Oh my God…Oh MY GOD! MAX!? Max is that you!?" Vanessa Caulfield called out for her. Max's eyes stung as the tears pooled up instantly. Hearing her mother's voice for the first time since October was far more emotional than Max could ever prepare herself for.
"It's me, Mom. I'm here." She replied, her voice small and raspy with emotion.
"Max! Max! Oh my God, I can't believe it's you!" Her mother began to audibly cry as well on the other end. Max's throat felt sore as she tried to hold back sobs.
"Mom...," She eked out more softly through her tears. "...I miss you."
"Oh honey, oh. Oh, my child. Are you okay, where are you? Where are you sweetie? We've been so scared."
"I-I'm safe, Mom. I'm safe."
"Maxine, what's going on? I'm so- so relieved to hear your voice. I can't believe it. Where are you?"
"I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't made you worry... I'm somewhere up north, Mom. I'm safe, like I texted you. And I'm with Chloe, she's with me too and we're safe together."
"Are you okay? Do you need us to come get you?," Vanessa Caulfield rushed, "Max, your father and I have been so scared for you, ever since that storm… Max, can you please come home?"
Her mother's voice shook, and Max felt all her energy drain as sobs finally rolled up from her chest. She sagged back into Chloe and the taller girl pulled her in close, readily supporting her weight.
"I'm okay, I promise Mom. We both are. I'm so sorry," She apologized, "I know I have been horrible and…so, so bad at keeping in contact. But I'm okay with Chloe, I don't know if I can come home yet... I'm sorry." Max's voice cracked on those last two words.
"Where have you been, Maxine?" Her mother's words stressed. "We've been trying to find you! Everywhere! We called the police; we called anyone who might have seen you two- Max! We want you to come home!"
"I- I can't Mom. N-not yet. I-"
"Please, please come home darling. We need you here. We've been worried sick every day. Your father- He hasn't been sleeping and neither can I. We stay up late every night hoping you'll call us. That storm destroyed everything in Arcadia Bay and we could have lost our daughter. Please."
Max broke down fully listening to her mother's begging. It felt like the weight of her world was crashing down on her lungs and chest. She began coughing sobs, her breathing ragged and broken as she tried to inhale. Tears streamed down Max's cheeks, into her mouth, and drops splattered on her screen. Over her shoulder she could hear Chloe's breath grow ragged and broken as well, the tall girl refusing to lessen her grip on Max. She was exceedingly grateful that Chloe was there. She needed her right now.
All of her pent up emotions were spilling out in that moment after months of bottling them up; her mother finally being the straw that broke the camel's back.
"I…can't." Max spoke between gasps of air. "I really can't Mom, I just can't."
"Why not?" Vanessa's question full of sorrow and concern.
"Mom…" She struggled out. "E-everyone's…everyone is dead." Max rasped, her voice barely a whisper.
"I can't go home, b-because everyone is dead. Chloe's mother and stepfather are dead. My friends are all dead. I-" She took in a deep breath, "-I'm so sorry. I fucked up. I'm so sorry."
Max knew that her apology wasn't entirely just for her mother, but also for Chloe, whose own trembling was reverberating through Max's core. Chloe's chin moved and the next thing Max could feel was damp warmth against her skin as she nestled her face into Max's neck, hiding in her hair. Max raised one arm up beside her and placed a palm on Chloe's head in reassurance.
I'm here for you though, Chloe.
"Maxine…" Vanessa gently started, but Max interrupted her with a bit more strength to her voice.
"Mom, I need to say I'm sorry. For everything. For ignoring you and pushing you and Dad away... You guys mean the world to me, and I love you so much. I miss you so much. But…I can't go home. I just can't, not yet anyway. I'm not ready to."
"I…I lost everything in that storm Mom," she continued, "and I think I lost a bit of myself as well. Everything I knew and loved in Arcadia Bay is gone, and I fucked up, I made some big mistakes. And now Chloe doesn't have a mom any more. All she has is me. We lost our friends and it's all so fucking fucked up. I blame myself…"
She trailed off, taking a few moments to breathe and calm herself down. Her mother listened without interruption and when she spoke again it was with a gentleness that Max hadn't heard since she was a child.
"Max… Oh my beautiful Maxine. I know this is hard. It's dreadful. Everything about that storm was awful. And I'm so, so sorry for everything, Maxine. You've lost so many dear people and have gone through so much suffering, and you're only eighteen. You have every right to feel as broken as you do, honey."
She silently let those words sink in. Realization crept in of just how much she had needed her mother's support after all this time; her parents had always been so supportive towards her. Why had she been so scared?
Because they won't know the truth.
They won't know that I could have stopped that storm. They don't know the reality of what I've been through. They never can.
And I hate lying to them...so much.
"It's not your fault, sweetheart," her mother continued as if she had read Max's mind, "You didn't cause any of that to happen. I'm so, so sorry for what happened to Chloe's mother and stepfather. She didn't deserve any of that, especially not after what happened to William."
A sob could be heard through the phone and Chloe stiffened by her sides. Max could only imagine what was going through Chloe's mind right then, listening to Max's very alive mother bringing up her very deceased parents.
"Sometimes things happen and they can't be explained, and tragedy strikes our lives and it's awful. But it's life, hun. I want you to listen to me, okay dear?"
"Okay." Max whispered.
"I don't blame you sweetheart. I can understand why you two girls have run away, I'm not entirely sure what I would do if I was in your place, but please, please don't blame yourself for anything that happened. All those people you lost, you will always remember, and they will be in your hearts forever. You need to know that your father and I love you very, very much- with all our hearts. And we are here for you and will be there for you every step of the way. You can't carry the burden of what you've been through all on your own, and we'll always support you. You're our daughter. Always."
Max was speechless. She silently cried for a minute, unable to think of a response, and from her mother's shaky breathing on the other end of her phone she could tell the feeling was mutual. Her hoodie shoulder grew damper by the second as Chloe's own silent tears continued.
The moment, Max felt, was a moment of release and healing as they all cried together. Oh how she needed her mother right then, her mom always knew what she needed to hear.
An odd sound crackled through the phone followed by a gasp, and Max realised that she could hear a door open in the background. She wondered who it was when her mother's voice picked up again, albeit slightly more distant, as if she had turned away from the mouthpiece of the phone. "Ryan- oh Ryan! Max is on the phone!"
"Max?" Her father's surprised voice could be heard followed by urgent footsteps that grew louder and louder, until- "Maxine, are you there?"
"Dad!" She croaked back with joy. "Dad- it's good to hear your voice!"
"Are you okay? Is everything alright?" He repeated her mother's previous questions. Max started to smile again, wishing she could reach through the phone and hug him.
I've missed you so much, Dad.
"Yes! Yes... Dad, I love you okay?" She squeaked.
"I love you too, so much. I'm so glad to hear you are okay. Is Chloe there with you, is she safe? Are you guys still safe?"
"Uh huh." She replied, looking up to blink back more tears. Relief was beginning to wash through her body at that moment. She hadn't realized before what an impact this conversation was going to have on her. She decided to speak up before they would end up running through the same conversation she had just had with her mother.
"Uh Dad, I need to let you know that I'm not coming home, but it's okay. I just need some time. After Arcadia Bay. The storm, Dad- oh it was awful. So many people died. I just- I need some time to process everything, before I'm ready to go home. But I will come home again, I promise. I promise."
She spoke with earnest hoping that her father would understand. He always seemed to be the most understanding of her parents, always knew what was on Max's mind if she ever came to him about anything. Another moment's silence before he responded in his usual, gruff voice.
"Alright. Okay... I understand. I trust you- We trust you - Max. It broke our hearts to see Arcadia destroyed like that, and we've been so scared for you. You don't know how worried we've been or how desperately we've waited for you to call."
"I know, Dad. I know." Max understood her father's honesty. "I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I should have called you earlier, should have texted, I-"
"You weren't ready to do that yet, were you kiddo?" He replied softly, a voice full of love.
You always get it.
"No... Not until today. And even now I need Chloe's help."
Gentle thumbs rubbed circles on the back of Max's wrists in response to that, and Chloe let out a soft hum in Max's ear.
"How is Chloe? Is she holding up alright? I'm so sorry about everything she's been through."
"She's right here Dad, with me. She's… been better. It's not good. But…" Max turned her head slightly to look at the reddened, glistening eyes of the girl listening to her every word. "I'm here for her, and I'm never leaving her. We're getting through this. Together."
"I'm proud of you," her father gushed, "I'm so proud that you're my daughter, Max. Chloe is lucky to have you as a friend. Is she there, can we speak to her?"
Max watched as Chloe picked her head up at the request, a flicker of surprise on her face. She lifted an arm to her mouth and coughed into her elbow, clearing her throat, before swallowing and replying. Her voice was as hoarse as Max's.
"Yes, I'm here. Hello, Mr. Caulfield." Chloe quietly picked up.
She sound's so vulnerable, so young. Oh, Chloe…
"Hey sweetie, I'm here too. It's been a long time since we've heard that voice of yours." Vanessa joined back in.
"Yeah, same here." Chloe coughed again, attempting to make herself sound less distraught.
"Chloe, I know you can't be doing too good after everything you've been through. And we're really, truly sorry for that." Ryan said.
"Thank you so much for being there for our Max." Vanessa added, "We know you must be taking good care of her, because you always had her back when you guys were younger. You're her best friend, and we always thought of you as part of our family."
Max felt Chloe hunch forward a little as a few silent sobs wracked the taller girl's body, and when she looked to see her face she was gritting her teeth with eyes closed.
Oh.
"We want you to know we're here for you, too. Whatever you need. If you or Max need anything or want us to come get you and bring you back to Seattle, we will. No questions asked." Ryan continued.
"Tha-thank you." Chloe managed to respond.
"Your mother was a wonderful woman, Chloe. You were her world and we knew that. You'll always be welcome with us. We're so sorry."
A few moments passed before Max reached for Chloe's hand and intertwined her fingers with her own. Chloe didn't respond to her mother, so Max knew it was time for her to pitch in again.
"Mom?"
"Yes, Maxine?"
"I really fucked up not contacting you."
"Max, it's okay. It's going to be alright. We just really need you to keep in touch with us from now on, okay? If you don't, we will have to come looking for you. You're an adult but…you're still our baby girl."
"Thanks, Mom. Dad."
"Max…where are you staying? Do you have money, are you okay? We aren't kidding around when we say you can ask us for anything right now."
"Um…" Max dodged the first question, and was unsure if she should mention any money they'd been living on, the stolen money. She decided against it. "We've been getting by. We just had to get out of Arcadia Bay. It was... too much to handle. We camped out for a bit after and stayed at a few motels, and there were a few roadblocks that stopped us from going north for awhile, but we managed to find an apartment to stay in now and just take some time to…figure things out. Things were really difficult for a moment there," Max grimaced at the understatement, "...but it's getting better. It's kind of nice to have a break from things…" She trailed off, not entirely sure where she was going after that.
"Okay. We trust you. We're going to transfer you some money after Christmas day, for you and Chloe both. Look after yourselves, alright?" Ryan Caulfield urged. Max started nodding before realizing her parents couldn't see what she was doing.
"…Thank you. Really. I love you guys so much. You don't even know…"
"We know, Maxine."
"Okay."
A silence hung between them all as she reflected on her emotions. She felt…reassurance and relief from talking to her parents. After everything she'd been through since October, it was a weight off her shoulder she desperately needed. She needed her parents and hearing them right then was like taking a breath of fresh air after rainfall.
"You there, Max?" Her mother finally prompted.
"Yeah. Still here."
Max turned to look to her best friend, noting how the girl was resting her head against the couch with eyes still shut, a slight furrow to her brows. She turned back to the phone in her hand to end the conversation with her parents when Chloe opened her eyes and spoke again.
"Mr and Mrs Caulfield?" The taller girl asked.
"Yes, Chloe?" Vanessa replied.
"I just want to let you know that back in Arcadia Bay, Max saved my life. Truly. I would be dead without her and I'm so grateful. I'm gonna make sure she's okay."
"Oh, girls…" Max's mother sounded like she was about to cry again.
"Chloe, you're a good kid. I'm thankful Max gets to have you back in her life, and it sounds like she's good for you too. Max, you look after Chloe too. You guys need each other."
"Will do, Dad." Max promised and squeezed Chloe's hand. "Dad? Mom? We should probably get going, but I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Alright. We'll call you to make sure tomorrow anyway. Be safe, girls." Max's father fared them.
"I love you guys." Max responded.
"We love you, too." Her mother ended the call.
Max stared at her black screen of her phone again, no longer shaking but now both emotionally and physically exhausted. She threw the phone to the end of the couch so that she could wipe away the tears streaked down her face with the sleeve of her free arm. Her other hand still holding Chloe's, she looked to the ceiling and blinked hard several times.
Ugh, I must look like a mess.
Taking a deep breath and shuffling forward a few inches, Max was about to turn around to face her best friend, but a tattooed arm wrapped around her torso and pulled her back against Chloe's chest.
She placed her arm on top of Chloe's and held them there, humming to herself lightly. They both needed a moment to recollect their thoughts and emotions, Chloe's cheek pressing close to Max's hair as she rocked them gently side to side.
Max took in a few more deep breaths as calm overcome her.
"Thanks for being there for me." Max said softly.
"Hmm," Chloe agreed. Another minute passed before the blue-haired girl spoke again. "I love you, Max. This is why you're my best friend."
Max's face broke out into a smile at that statement, genuine joy swelling in her chest.
"I love you too, Chloe." She slowly pulled herself away again, Chloe releasing her from her grip so that they could look at each other. Max assumed she must look the way Chloe also did with wet cheeks, bloodshot eyes and a slight dash of dishevelment to her hair.
She still looks beautiful, though. Max thought to herself before adding, "Sorry I'm such a hot mess."
Chloe's expression changed to a small grin at that, letting out a small laugh.
"Yeah, you look like a hot mess alright. So do I, I bet."
"A little. It suits you, though." Max grinned back at her best friend, and they just smiled at each other for a second or two.
"You know…crying is good for you. It releases stress hormones and shit. Makes you feel better. I read that in a book once." Chloe said matter-of-factly.
"Ha, yeah. You really are a bit of a science nerd aren't you."
"And you're a bit of a hipster, so there's that."
They laughed at each other again and Max could tell the tension in the air had alleviated itself. It felt so good to be with Chloe right in that moment. She didn't want to be with anyone else other than with Chloe Price.
The blue-haired girl raised her arms and placed them on Max's shoulders, and with an even more cheeky smile shook Max a little. "You did it, SuperMax."
"Yeah." Max agreed. "We did it."
"Right then, let's get up."
"Huh?" Max was a bit confused as Chloe stood upright, wondering what the girl had on her mind.
"I think this calls for a bit of an adventure. It's Christmas Eve so… let's make ourselves look a bit less zombified and do something good for ourselves. Let's get out of this dingy apartment for a bit, yeah?"
Chloe had her hand reached out towards Max expectantly, waiting for her to grab it so that she could lead her away. Max didn't need to be told twice and swiftly took up Chloe's offer.
"Fuck it, yes. We deserve a treat." Max grinned as she took Chloe's hand as the taller girl pulled her up off the couch.