The Diego Diaries: Do Ya Wanna? (dd8 181)
=0=In a conference room having a bite together
They sat in chairs around the conference table used by doctors to teach their students their craft. Dinner had been brought to them by the children, all of whom were heading for their lounge to eat together. It was quiet and welcomed after a couple of joors walking through the wards to check on everyone and give what comfort they could to the few family that weren't patients yet.
Prowl, Prime, Ratchet, Blackjack, Ironhide, Sun and Jack were chowing down and it was silent for a moment. Then Ratchet grinned. "I just got a message from Morshower."
Everyone glanced at him expectantly.
Ratchet read some more, then sat back with a grin. "Apparently, there's a holiday coming up on Earth called Father's Day. Its a celebration of fathers and their one day a year to be feted."
"Sounds like a good calendar choice," Prowl said. "What does it say?"
Ratchet grinned. "They want a father-son golf tournament at the Resort to be broadcast on every channel in the universe to raise money for animal welfare."
Prime glanced at Prowl who was staring at Ratchet with a slight frown. "And?"
"And that's going to require Pretender gear," Ratchet replied.
"Well, we all have human profiles in our files," Prime replied.
"That's not all of it," Ratchet replied with a chuckle.
"Why am I not surprised?" Prowl replied.
"Morshower?" Ironhide replied with a grin.
"The tournament is a good thing but it has a catch," Ratchet began.
"No."
Everyone glanced at Prowl.
"No. Nothing happens that subtracts from the dignity of this mech," Prowl said. "I am unmovable on this point."
Prime glanced at Prowl, then grinned. "Why thank you, Prowl."
Prowl nodded. "You're welcome."
"What the frag? Let me tell you," Ratchet said.
"No," Prowl replied.
"He's stealing my routine," Ironhide said as he continued to eat.
"The tournament will be held at the golf course at the Resort and we need to have Pretender gear to enter. But the version of us they want to be there is ourselves in smaller forms. We have to look like ourselves and not have enhanced powers. We have to limit our ability to plant them because they have a fear of us cracking the dome with a drive," Ratchet replied.
"That can't happen," Sun said. He glanced at Ratchet. "Can it?"
"Nope," Ratchet said.
It was silent a moment, then Prowl leaned forward punctuating his remarks with his fork. "They want us to come as ourselves, then tone down the power to human levels. They want us to play golf with them on this daddy day."
Ratchet gave him a dazzler. "Bingo. But there's more."
Prowl sat back with a snort. "Fragger."
"Don't kill the messenger, Prowler. Haters gonna hate," Ratchet said as he glanced at Sun.
Sun grinned. "Ha. They will."
Ratchet grinned. "This means we have to play golf with our daddies. You and Tagg, Prime. Venture and you, Prowler. Me and Tie Down. It'll be fun. What about you two? Why don't you play with Hardie as the daddy?"
Both of them laughed. "He is the much older one than us," Jack replied.
"By seconds," Blackjack said. He glanced at his son who was sipping his favorite soup right out of the bowl. "That means me and the little mech, here."
Ironhide glanced at his father. "I don't know how to play golf. WE HAVEN'T HAD FIVE SECONDS TO LEARN THE GAME YET!"
"That is alright," Prime said with a smirk. "We will only play this tournament with one caveat."
Everyone turned toward Prime.
"And pray tell, what would that be?" Prowl asked with a suspicious tone.
Prime grinned. "Why, Prowler … by Cybertronian rules, that is how."
It was silent a moment, then Sun smirked. "What rules? We don't play this game."
"We do now," Prime said. "By our rules."
"We don't have rules, Optimus," Jack asked again.
"We do now," Prime said as he unsubbed a personal datapad that he carried for eons that had all the games, stats, teams and whatnot of about every sport he ever saw, did or wanted to do. "Give me a minute." He glanced at Ratchet. "Let Glenn know we will play but by our rules."
=0=Sitting in the Central Command at The Pentagon, Arlington, Virginia, USA
"There's a message from Commander Ratchet, General," Colonel Mick Moran, Morshower's chief of staff mentioned as they sat in the briefing that was part of their daily schedule. Not only was N.E.S.T global, it was interplanetary. He handed the printout to Morshower.
Morshower read it, then guffawed. He glanced at the others. "They agreed to the tournament but they want it with the Cybertronian rules for golf."
Huge laughter greeted that.
"I wasn't aware golf was a game on Cybertron," Mick said with a chuckle.
"It isn't," Glenn replied. "Apparently Prime is making the rules now."
Huge laughter erupted again along with a small but nagging sense of dread.
=0=N.E.S.T HQ, Autobot City, Mars
Lennox read the message from Morshower, then glanced at the others. Everyone was in a briefing that happened every day. "The tournament is on. One thing though. Prime says it has to be by Cybertronian rules."
"They don't play golf. Springer told me they don't," Epps replied.
"Apparently they do now," Niall said. "Is anyone as scared as I am?"
Everyone raised their hands.
=0=The Resort At Autobot City, boss's offices
Judy Witwicky read the note, laughed loudly, then turned in her chair as everyone in the surrounding offices poked their heads in.
"What's so funny?" Judy Fulton asked.
"There's going to be a golf tournament here on Father's Day," Judy began.
Lois nodded. "Dad wants to benefit some animal charities by turning it into a fundraiser and have it here. Its still so nebulous that I didn't bring it up at the scheduling meeting."
"Its not nebulous now," Judy said with a grin. "It's going to be a father-son tournament and Prime's making the rules. Apparently he'll only do it with Cybertronian rules."
"They don't play golf on Cybertron. I asked what they played and golf wasn't among them," Sam Witwicky said as he sat on the couch in his mom's luxurious office making plans for the business conference coming in two months.
Judy nodded. "I know," she said with a laugh. "I can't wait for this."
It was unanimous in the group.
=0=Later that night
Ironhide walked in at dinner time taking a break from the hospital where he and his father were handling the situation. Things were winding down now that nearly everyone affected at Pax Medical Center was in stasis against the future. He entered, then hugged everyone and their cow before settling with the kids, Ravel and Tie Down at the table. "This looks good."
"SHES DOED IT!" Orion said as he pointed at the big kids.
"You doed it?" Ironhide asked.
"We went to the grocery store for the family," Genesis said. "We got everything that Ada would get and some things. We restocked your ice cream locker in the man cave."
Ironhide grinned. "That makes you awesome," he said as he watched Ravel fill him a huge plate which he secretly hoped he would.
Ravel put it down in front of Ironhide along with a basket of buns. "I'll get you a cup, son. You just eat. Things are difficult for you so take a moment to refresh."
Ironhide grinned at the sweet little mech who'd borned a maniac like Ratchet. "Thanks, Ravie. I don't mind if I do."
"Ratchet told us to hold over something when you came home. He said you might need second supper," Tie said with a wink.
Ironhide guffawed. "I AM IRONHIDE! I NEED AND WANT SECOND SUPPER!"
Huge agreement from all greeted that. That and joy that Dad was home to say it.
=0=On the doorstep of Terra Medical Center, Terra, Mars
They gathered to go over the situation and found that it had wound down into a silent wait. There were no deaths but about fifty-five of the children were hovering over that finality. Without supplementing missing nutrients to slow the decline and placing them into medical stasis, there would be a ghastly number of funerals upcoming.
"I think we have it under control, Optimus. I'm releasing the Auxiliary children back to their lives for now. They won't like it but the biggest rush is over and all they can see now is things they aren't allowed. They were a work and wonder but they need to stand down," Ratchet was saying as the traffic outside drove past with lights on. The darkness was broken with street lights and those from towers and businesses surrounding them.
"That is good news," Prime said. "Then maybe we can delegate though remain on call so we can get some recharge. What if anything have you heard from Wheeljack and Perceptor?"
"They've found a defective gene, one that's mutated. It might be caused environmentally by something we don't know about on Meadow Lands. Maybe that prompted the planet to send the energy spheres to help slow it down. It might have been trying to help them," Ratchet said. "Turquoise read the CNA. He found defects that they're working on now. If they can figure out how it changes things then the cure is an easy fix. Its figuring out how it mutates that's holding us up."
"That sounds better than before," Prowl said.
"What about their conduct, Optimus?" Jack asked as Sun nodded. "What if any charges are they going to face?"
"If this is part of their illness, then none. They need to be cared for first, then helped through social welfare toward some kind of equilibrium. We cannot charge someone who is possibly impaired in judgment. We are not Cybertron during the Clampdown. We will take care of our people," Optimus said.
"What do you want to do then? For now?" Blackjack asked.
"I think all of us can go home and get a night's rest in," Optimus said. He glanced at Prowl. "Is there anything outstanding we need to know about now?"
"Other than you and Tagg acing that golf tournament? No. Everything else can hold. I do expect that senior Autobots will be on call," Prowl said.
"When are we not?" Blackjack replied.
They chatted a moment, then broke up to go home. Prime and Prowl took a cab, Jack and Sun walked to the Metro and Ratchet transformed to drive home. Everyone dispersed almost at once.
=0=In a cab
"What are the rules if I may be so bold?" Prowl asked.
"I have not decided but I think its time for golf to become a full contact sport," Prime said with a grin.
Prowl snickered. "This is going to be a good fundraiser, I think."
"I hope so. I do love animals," Prime said as their cab disappeared into traffic toward The City.
=0=In a vehicle mode behind them
"So you had a second dinner then?"
"I did and you can't make me feel badly," Ironhide said out of the radio of Ratchet's truck mode.
"You're shameless, slagger. How can anyone shame the shameless?"
"HA! You're one to talk, Ratchet. They threw away the shame … uh, the shame things when they created you."
Ratchet snickered. "You were never very good with the witty comeback, Ironhide. But you're cute when you try."
A preen could actually be felt over the intercom. "I am, aren't I?"
It would go like that.
=0=On a Metro line going home
"Little mech plays no golf. None of us do," Sun said. "Let's book some tee time at the course."
"I want to win this tournament so badly," Jack said, "I can taste it."
"What does it taste like?" Sun asked with a smirk.
"Victory," Jack said with immense satisfaction.
They would disappear into the night with the club crowd.
=0=Home
Everyone was asleep when Ratchet crept in. Hugging his ada, he watched Ravel make it to his apartment and close the door before re-entering his own. Tip-toeing around the apartment to check kids, he entered the berth room. Ironhide was sitting on the bed watching a video on the monitor. Ratchet glanced at it. It was a golf game. "Well, I see that you're hard at it."
"I aim to win. My old pa and I are going to kick Prime's aft," Ironhide said.
"Is that part of the rules?" Ratchet said as he sat on the berth, then lay back with weariness.
"I don't know. Prime hasn't made them up yet," Ironhide said.
Ratchet grinned. "I did an internet search and my wardrobe is already being made."
Ironhide glanced at Ratchet. "OLD MECH! Are you going to embarrass me again?"
"Its my job, Ironhide. Really. Keep up," Ratchet replied.
Ironhide snickered. "You're never dull, Ratchet. Never normal but never dull either."
"That's high praise from you, Ironhide," Ratchet said with a smile.
"I AM IRONHIDE! MY PRAISE IS ALWAYS HIGH!"
"Shut that off and the lights, too," Ratchet said.
"Okay," Ironhide said with a grin. He rose to do both.
"Goodnight, Ironhide."
"Goodnight, Ratchet," Ironhide said as the lights and the game went off.
=0=TBC 06-05-2021
ESL
nebulous: (neb-you-lus) unclear, cloudy