Chapter 15

Tess sat on a chair in the hospital corridor outside Ben's room remembering her morning back at Ocean Drive.

They'd listened to the usual morning sounds of the household waking and getting up for the day. She'd wanted to stay for a while so Tim went off to see Ben. She watched Maria get Benjy ready for school then walked beside them listening to his chatter. Felt a rush of pleasure when her name was mentioned and Maria did not cut him off harshly, instead they talked about the good times they had together and a mother's love.

Following him through the school playground and into the classroom, watched him playing with his friends then listened to the teacher as the lesson started. She knew he was going to be fine, they were all taking care of him. Sad but content she blew him a kiss and left to meet Tim, looking forward to his company knowing he would help her through her feelings.

True, she'd found him, and that was why she was sitting here trusting her instincts and waiting, though she was just a little scared, because he didn't know she was there ... and he was pacing up and down a small area in front of Ben's door, with the colours of his aura rippling violently as though he was arguing with himself.

Tim looked down at the floor then at Ben's door, his mind churning as he paced up and down this bit of corridor just outside the room, he'd been doing since he arrived. He knew something was going on in there from the activity and chatter between nurses and doctors. Then Meg came with some clothes, and the nurses warned her Ben might not be ready to leave yet, from then on there had been silence. Just Meg and Ben, and no more nurses going in or out.

He reasoned with himself yet again. It was simple all he had to do was to walk in there and find out what was going on, but each time he had tried it, he had bulked at it and walked away. Hey! he knew he could walk through the door, even the walls, but they felt soggy if they were thick, so he always aimed for doors or windows. Come on! He'd walked into Derek's mind this could not be so bad… could it?

He tried again and failed, stopping with his nose sooo close to the door, it almost hurt in anticipation. He stepped back and looked the door up and down in disgust, then shook his head and sighed, this was not going work. Why? … Suddenly he realised he was embarrassed by what he might find the other side; he remembered the club in Vancouver and shivered. THIS was different he had to do it, that lady said he HAD to see Ben to tell him about the Sailor ... it was important and her voice sounded so sad.

He turned and started his pacing again smiling as he remembered his visit to Derek the previous night, and the very brief visit this morning. Ok, so he had promised Tess he would go straight to the hospital to see Ben, but then could not resist the temptation to find out what had happened to Derek. … Well, he knew what a padded cell looked like now.

Everything had been white and padded even the cover for the door handle; he assumed they must have a camera lens in the padded ceiling to keep an eye on Derek. In a strange way it felt safe, comforting, and as he stood over the sleeping form, wondered what trouble Derek had caused after they'd left, because he was in a straight jacket. After a moment he slipped into Derek's mind and found it just as evil, but the dream balls were still. He called Derek's name and felt him stir and called again until he was sure Derek knew he was around, but not enough to wake him … just a gentle reminder … and then came to see Ben.

That's when the trouble started, he felt like an outsider, as if he did not want or should be here any more. He looked across to the door, HE HAD TO DO IT, but what if Ben and Meg were... He shook his head ruefully, understanding why the ghost stayed in the cave, it was safe, his own space and he could live within his own memories. Now it was his job to tell the sailor's story and help them all get home. 'Home' even thinking the word felt right.

He felt a ripple and looked around him and realised Tess was watching him full of concern, he smiled and she returned it and saw the concern drift away. Looking at her he realised her aura had changed, and knew she was ready to move on with him. He heard voices, then saw Maria with Carmen come round the corner towards him, he automatically stepped out the way and noticed they were carrying bags.

Maria knocked on the door which Meg opened, "Hi Meg we've bought all the things, can we show you before we go to the Cave. Tyus was worried about mentioning it before now."

Meg smiled and showed her in "It's okay, I've told Ben about the service at Cave but nothing else."

"I am here you know." Ben's voice was gentle with a tease, but also tiredness in it. "Hi Maria hope you and Benjy had a good night."

She was still edgy in his presence, and didn't want to remember her dreams, least of all talk about them. "Benjy's Ok, what about your night?"

"Oh, the nurses earned their money and gone off to have some sleep now." Ben was standing by the bed, and noticed Carmen standing in the doorway. "Morning Carmen are you coming in?"

Carmen had hesitated, and closed her eyes for a moment, opening them at the sound of Ben's voice she walked into the room and said half over her shoulder, keeping her voice was soft and reassuring so as not to frighten them off.

"Come on then! You want to know what is going on don't you? I assume Tess is with you. It's no good speaking I can only feel you, and I sense you are ready to move to where you belong."

She waited a moment, then closed the door and looking across at Ben made her way over to him as she spoke. "Morning Ben, you're looking peaky. If I hold your hands for a while, Tim may be able to speak to you directly."

Ben was tempted to scream at her words. He had bad nightmares, about the last half hour in basement, his brother raking through his memories again and then Derek walking free from the court promising to do it all again. Now, she wanted Tim to jump in his mind, instead he sighed knowing he would not refuse, he could sense Tim's presence. He held out his hands, hoping he would not speak out loud as he had when Ricardo and the others had been there the day before, or as he had when Meg woke him … that was embarrassing.

Carmen held Ben's hands gently but firmly and realised how troubled he was by the nightmares, and what she was asking him to do. She smiled and said reassuringly, not realising her Spanish accent was stronger that usual and gave her words a softer edge. "You will only speak in your mind; to us you will look as though you are standing holding my hands with you eyes closed. Think of somewhere safe and comfortable, but not people."

Ben smiled and gave a brief look across at Meg, who smiled at him trying to reassure him, and then he shook his head to clear the reservations from his mind. He closed his eyes and thought of the many places in his recent past, but he had thought of them when he was in the basement and found them all too disturbing. He heard Carmen say quietly. "Can be from childhood if you like... Yes that's right open the door and walk in. I shall not be in there, but I will give you the strength and steadiness you need."

oxoxo

At first he just saw darkness, then the door appeared in front of him, it looked and felt familiar, he opened it. As his eyes got used to the daylight he recognised the room, and expected to see his Grandmother or Aunt come in with drinks of home-made lemonade. He looked across to the table and smiled, the drinks were already there waiting. He stayed in the doorway and looked around the rest of the Victorian cottage front room; everything was there as it had been, as well as the same cosy and warm feeling of love and security.

He noticed the fire burning in the grate; the two arm chairs either side of the fire waiting to be occupied; the window seat with cushions and the box of toys ready for him to play with, or just sit and watch the breeze in the leaves of the tree which stood outside the window. He let his gaze go up to the window; the tree was there in splendid autumn colour the leaves just starting to fall in the breeze. He walked across to the chairs and sat down, they felt comfortable and real. There was a gentle cough from the doorway and Ben looked across and smiled. "Tim, come and sit down! This is so strange I don't whether to laugh or cry."

Tim came across and sat down "I know what you mean. This is cosy. None of the others have been like this."

"That sounds bad. Carmen is helping. So before I really go round the bend I want to tell you, everyone is going to the Cave, according to Antonio you will be taken up during the prays we say there. Don't know how because he's never done this before, but as we all want it so there should only be peace, nothing to fear. You and Tess will be buried at the Mission side by side, Hank is organising that. They loved and miss you."

Tim thought for a moment then nodded. "Thank you for your care, we are sorry for the trouble we have caused. We spoke to the Sailor I think he's been in the rocks too long to come out, he was just a voice. His name's Captain Frederick Johnson, he was born in England had a twin sister Sophie who he never saw or contacted after he fled to America because of some family trouble. He did not want to go into it in detail because it brought up too may sad memories. His crew and their families became his family so he had some happiness, and that's what he wants to remember."

Ben's voice was soft with a hint of amazement in it as he replied "Oh! Carmen's going to love this if it's true. This cottage and farm belonged to the parents of Sophie and Frederick Johnson, twins, he left the family under a cloud but his name was never forgotten by Sophie. The parents forbade the name Frederick to be used so she carried the name on in the female line. My grandmother's name was Freda and my mother's name was Sophie. If it is the same family they had a cat called 'Candy' he was ginger with black and white ears, the rest of the family were plain ginger so goodness knows what happened there.

There was a ginger cat here when I was a child, might have been some distant relation I suppose, we used to joke he was waiting for his master to return. Tell Frederick he was forgiven, no one could find out where he went because money was tight and communication difficult, so they could not trace him. No doubt his twin will be waiting for him." Ben was quiet for a moment "Tell Mark I'm sorry and miss him."

Tim could see the sadness Ben felt and replied gently. "I will. I suspect he already knows it was not you. Can you thank Maria for her kindness towards Tess letting Benjy leave the card and the flowers. She was touched by the way Maria let Benjy talk about her; she was scared he would hate her... Tell Meg that I am sorry for the hurt I have caused her.

Its strange how free Tess and I feel now, I think in time if things had been different Tess and I might have made a go of it. We found love in death I suppose."

Ben gave a gentle laugh he could not help it. "No little baby ghosts I hope!"

Tim grinned "No, could be fun though. Seriously there are some things I've realised regarding you and Meg. Neither of you turned me out of Sunset Beach when you could have. Was that because you knew I needed to be around Hank and Joan while I got over Meg?"

Ben nodded and explained. "If Grandma and my Aunt who lived in this house had not died I would have lived with them, my Aunt and cottage were my safe haven. I understood Hank and Joan had been your safe haven, I was not going to take them away from you. I was just angry at the way you treated Meg not you yourself, you needed time and support. I am glad you found some kind of happiness and Tess has as well. My brother can be really awkward to live with."

"Yeah, that's an understatement if ever I heard one." Tim said with a gentle laugh then paused for a moment then continued. "They say we can not avoid your fate so Meg should know something I never told her, where we were going for our honeymoon. A friend of mine won two tickets for a two week holiday in Sunset Beach, all expenses paid, in the best hotel as well; he could not use them so gave them to me as a wedding present. So I guess I would have had a short marriage one way or another."

Ben smiled "So you would have to come one way or another, that's fair enough. You could say Fate drew me here. I used to live in the Cities moving from one to another each time my brother found me and moved me on... Oh yes I used to think I could hide, a small fish in a big sea full of other fishes, but somehow my name would come up as I made money or gossip writers saw me as a good catch for a lovely lady. I would get a phone call and a threat to pay up or a friend would get killed or hurt, so I paid and moved on. I could have changed my name, but that was the only thing I had left that my parents gave me... Well, not quite true, I have a paper knife my Dad had in his family and passed on to me, but nothing bigger... I had to leave quickly when Derek threatened Mum and Dad, I grabbed a case filled it and ran, that carried on till I was choosing between Seattle, Los Angeles and Sans Francisco, true I was running out of Country.

Then I heard Derek had died and was buried at home in England, so I was free I could live where I wanted, start to put down roots and forget about my past as far as other people were concerned. I mourned my brother's loss, along with the relief he could not hurt me any more, but I never returned to England that would have been too painful,.. I should have, then I would have found out he had lied." Ben paused for a moment.

"Anyway I decided to drive along the coast rather than fly; it gave me something to concentrate on and filled in some time. I stopped at Sunset Beach for a food break and walked along the beach it was evening and the sun was setting and I was hooked. I stopped a man for directions to a good hotel and got talking to him and his wife. It was Gregory and Olivia, in fact Bette joined us for a meal at the hotel that night, they were meeting her there. They knew I was mourning family loss so accepted my reluctance to talk about family, but we discussed England in general and on to finance etc.

They took me under their wing, and eventually I chose to build a night-club and had the choice of three places, the other two would have been easier but I always felt happy walking around the rocky cave area. Then as we cleared the site we found the cave and we could incorporate a door from the Deep into the cave. I used to feel safe comfortable there and that kind of feeling seemed to drift into the club … of course I met Maria as well, making the family feeling complete. It's the same feeling I have here, no doubt Carmen would say our family love is still around and it drew me there... Tim, you know Meg loved you and valued your friendship."

Tim smiled. "I know thank you, and she tried so hard to stay my friend despite everything I did. I was wrong in the earthquake when I said you and your brother were identical in every way, your mind is nothing like your brother's."

Ben laughed. "Tim you didn't!"

"Umm.. Last night. Well it was the flowers and card Maria left for Tess, she was so sad it really set me off. I thought he could still get away with the murders so we paid him a visit. Although he was in isolation he was sleeping soundly and comfortable, the Officers watching on the screens. You had nothing in the basement, Tess had lost everything and he was too comfortable in the cell. I have to admit it was tough, but I got in his mind and into his dreams of what he had done, then I found I could shatter them. We yelled at each other, the Officers could only hear him and as he got angry he wrecked his cell, so they had to stun him... Oh yes, if the doctors don't mention it, there are some books hidden in the loft space at Southern Avenue, no idea what's in them Tess thinks they could be important."

Ben could not stop laughing. "Yeah I know inside information … Ricardo's going to love that... Should I do anything about it?"

Tim joined in, "No Derek's in a padded cell sleeping in a straight jacket, but they are keeping an eye on him, no doubt the Doctors will enjoy themselves. If you said anything about the books or my visit you could end up there as well!"

Ben calmed down. "Good point. I'll get the details from Ricardo later when the dust has settled. If he does not say anything I'll give him a gentle hint. Thank you, I'm pleased Derek also had a disturbed night."

Tim said. "Tess was there as well, so it was payback from both of us. Time to go I think. You know his mind was black and evil, yours is warm and kind even when you were in the basement. You will never be like him on the inside."

Ben's voice was soft. "Thank you Tim. If you can give everyone our love, I'd be grateful."

Tim smiled understanding the message, and found himself standing next to Tess before he could reply. He saw Meg and Maria standing near Ben and Carmen talking quietly unconcerned. He looked at the clock and realised it had been only a few minutes. In the room time had no meaning nothing had been rushed.

He turned to Tess who smiled and gave him a welcoming hug, before they walked out the room and into the corridor, then sat on the chairs as he explained what had happened.

oxoxo

Ben was left in the room, laughing quietly to himself and grateful for Tim's words. He got up, slowly turning round giving the room a long last look wondering if he could visit it again in such a clear way. He then walked over to the door, gently opening it, and felt Carmen holding his hands and heard her say softly. "Take a moment then open your eyes don't rush. You're fine it's not been too long."

He opened his eyes and felt giddy as he broke the connection. Carmen gently pushed him so he sat on the edge of the bed. As he recovered he realised he was still smiling, his eyes had tears in them and everyone was looking at him expectantly. He gave an embarrassed laugh, and Meg sat on the bed beside him as he explained about Tim's visit to Derek and everything else that had happened. Carmen chuckled and nodded as he mentioned the family connections.