(A/N): So... how's it going? Lol, I'm really sorry about the wait. Life has been a bit rough the past few weeks but things are finally sorting themselves out. I hope.
Not gonna lie, it might still be another wait for the next chapter. It's not because I'm not actively working on this story- the content of the upcoming chapters is just throwing me off a bit. We're going to be dealing some mental health stuff coming up because, as most of you have noticed, Hermione has some issues she needs to work through. This is a very important topic to me, so I need to be confident in the way I'm portraying things. I've seen it done before where authors just go "here's a serious issue" and then do a time jump or something and have the character totally over it. That won't be happening here. There are some serious issues that are going to be discussed and I need to do this right. So, apologies in advance for whatever wait there might be but I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.
Shoutouts to gottaloveva, reesefrowiss, vamp1987, jedijeff, nbymlsnrf, Belieber Twihard, KateKat1992, hedesmer, LittleAngel2292, Nanyin, kcinara, Hearteyesmf, FrumiousBandersnatch10, Elizabeth, ndavis77, Elle Ryder, The Dark One Rising, Another Random Human, 1991, ReadLikeHermione, NicoleR85, AugustRush, fringeperson, Najada, QueenAzulaThinksYourWorthless, tayaboo72, bookworm2750, RHatch89, and Guests! You are all beautiful rays of sunshine and never let yourself think otherwise!
I'm really glad you all loved the last chapter and that you're glad Graham survived! Things are definitely changing now in the OUAT universe.
Special shout out to the angel that is fringeperson for all of her help and support. I'm so thankful to have her as a friend.
Special thanks also needs to go to the wonderful FrumiousBandersnatch10 for all her assistance! She has been invaluable in my characterization process and I'm so thankful she's willing to talk to me about all this.
Song lyrics for this chapter are from "Control" by Halsey. This song really spoke to me about where Hermione is emotionally and mentally.
Hope you all had a great weekend! Enjoy!
They send me away to find them a fortune
A chest filled with diamonds and gold
The house was awake, the shadows and monsters
The hallways, they echoed and groaned
Hermione slowly walked through the front door, unsure if she was ready to face her sister so soon. Her conversation with Draco was still circling around in her head, bringing up so many questions but very few answers.
"Hey!" Emma greeted, voice coming from the kitchen and Hermione sighed, shoving yet more unpleasant thoughts behind her shields, to be considered at a later time.
Walking into the kitchen and sitting on a stool by the counter, she forced a small smile onto her face as she greeted Emma. "Hello. So, I take it things worked out on your end with Graham."
Emma set a mug of hot cocoa in front of her younger sister, slipping into the seat next to her. "It did. But, considering I could feel you at the station with us earlier, you already knew that."
Eyes slipping closed in exhausted frustration, Hermione tucked her chin into her chest. "I'd hoped you didn't notice."
"Guess your hopes weren't met," Emma quipped. Hermione's eyes snapped open when she felt Emma's hand close over one of her own, squeezing gently. "Talk to me."
"Please don't," Hermione quietly begged, filled with self-loathing. There went her promise to never be put into another position where she'd be forced to beg for something. Still though, she wasn't ready, she wasn't prepared enough, to tell Emma just what was going on.
What would her sister think, if she knew how truthful Graham had been earlier? She has my heart, Emma… I can't feel anything…
How would her sister react if she knew where Hermione had found Regina earlier? How violent would things become if she learned just what Regina had planned for the Sheriff if Hermione hadn't intervened?
"I can't, Emma. Not yet. So please… I just…"
Emma's arms were wrapped around her a heartbeat later. "It's okay, Hermione. Everything's okay, you're okay. I've got you."
Hermione slowly lifted her arms and hugged her sister back, hiding her face in Emma's shoulder for a moment. How could she be so sure that everything would be alright when Hermione felt like she might never be okay again?
I sat alone, in bed till the morning
I'm crying, "They're coming for me"
And I tried to hold these secrets inside me
My mind's like a deadly disease
Hours later, Emma stood in the doorway to Hermione's room and watched her baby sister's restless sleep.
Something was wrong with Hermione, had been wrong for a while now, but Emma had no idea how to help her. Ever since Hermione had been born, since the moment their mother had placed her in Emma's arms with a gentle reminder to watch her head, it had been Emma's job to keep her safe. Emma had made a promise the day Hermione was born that she would always protect her and make sure that she was never hurt the way Emma had been.
And Emma had failed her.
Her sister had suffered, had been nearly killed time and time again before being captured and tortured by a deranged serial killer, and where had Emma been during that time? Half a world away in her cushy apartment, safe and sound.
Hermione would never know how sorry she was for that. How sorry she was for failing her, for not being a better protector, for being a terrible big sister. Standing there, looking at the lines on her sister's face, Emma was forced to face the fact that Hermione had lost some of herself over the last few years, had some pieces of herself torn out and left scattered around Britain. Hermione wasn't whole anymore and it was painful watching her sister try and hide that fact from her.
No more, Emma vowed to herself, turning away from the room and walking down the hall.
No more would her sister pay the price for other people's mistakes.
No more would either of them have to suffer because of someone else's choices.
No more would Hermione feel like she had to fight the world alone.
Emma would rip the world apart piece by piece if that was what it took to keep Hermione safe. Even if the biggest threat at the moment was coming from Hermione herself.
Closing her bedroom door behind her, Emma pulled her phone out of her pocket and typed in the number she must have called hundreds of times in the past year. Hitting the green call button, she sank down onto the edge of her bed and sent up a silent prayer to whatever greater power there might be. She may not be sure if she actually believed in any ultimate force crap, but it couldn't hurt right then.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Thomas, it's Emma. I need your help."
No more.
I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones
"I can't believe I'm meeting Rumpelstiltskin!" Henry cheered, bouncing down the street.
Hermione smiled, reaching out to gently run her fingers through his hair. "He's excited to speak with you as well."
Henry turned back to look at her with huge eyes. "I should have known that Mr. Gold was Rumpelstiltskin. He's the most powerful man in town."
"Don't be too hard on yourself- he's very good at staying below the radar."
"His name is Gold though! And Rumpelstiltskin spins gold!"
She laughed. "Yes, the curse wasn't very creative when it came to names, was it?"
Turning pensive next to her, Henry asked, "Do you think the Evil Queen was the one who decided things like names or jobs? Can magic really do stuff like that? I thought it just brought people here- changing names and jobs and everything seems more person-like, you know?"
Surprised by his insightfulness, Hermione took a moment to think before answering. "I don't think so. For everyone's names and professions, they're ones that could easily be found in this world. Regina would have had no idea how things were set in this world, so she wouldn't have been able to make those kinds of decisions. For example, Snow White is most likely not an odd name in the Enchanted Forest, but it would be considered strange here, hence the change to Mary Margaret. The curse was made to be adaptable, to respond to her wishes on certain things, but it was also set to ensure that everyone brought here was slotted into a proper position in this world."
Reaching out, Henry slid his hand into Hermione's. "Doesn't that mean that the curse was able to just do things on its own? Like it was alive and stuff? Because it would need to be able to think to do all that."
Hermione bit her lip. "I'm honestly not sure, Henry. Magic is certainly a force of its own at times, but I'm not sure if the extent of the curse means that it had any sort of mind of its own. After all, just look at what computers are capable of. It might be easier for you to think of the curse as a computer program, slotting each citizen into a corresponding role that could fit who they were in the Forest. The dwarf Doc is a pharmacist, Jiminy Cricket is a therapist, and so on and so forth."
"That makes sense." The closer they got to the shop, the tighter Henry's grip grew.
Pulling him to a stop when they were a shop away from Gold's, Hermione knelt down so they were eye level. "Henry, what's wrong? What are you thinking?"
He stared down at his shoes. "The book that says Rumpelstiltskin in the Dark One. He's a villain… like the Evil Queen. What if…"
Reaching out, Hermione placed a finger under his chin and tilted his face back up so that she could meet his gaze. "Do you trust me?"
Blinking at her in confusion, Henry hastily answered, "Of course!"
"Then trust that I would never knowingly bring you somewhere that isn't safe for you. Remember what I've told you before: we can't judge anyone until we get to know them for ourselves. Forget everything that the book has told you about who is good and who is bad and find out for yourself what kind of person Rumpelstiltskin is."
"He gave the Evil Queen the curse though! And casting the curse is what made you believe the Queen was evil so how come Gold isn't even though he's the one who gave it to her?"
Hermione sighed. "I'm not going to try and sway you one way or the other about Rumpelstiltskin. Whether or not you decide to try and trust him, that's up to you. You have to do what you think is right, Henry. All I can do right now is promise you that nothing will happen to you while I'm here, alright?"
Henry stared up at her, eyes a bit lost. "But… if you don't tell me, how will I know whether or not he's good?"
Pulling him into a hug, Hermione whispered, "Have faith, Henry, and believe in yourself. Your instincts have gotten you this far, haven't they?"
"But what if I'm wrong?"
"Then you'll learn from your mistake and will make sure not it doesn't happen again."
And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?
The bell jingled as they walked through the front door of the shop and Gold looked up from one of his many books and greeted them with a friendly smile. "Good day to you, Miss Granger, Mr. Mills."
"Hello," Hermione returned, smiling at the older man as she rested her hand on Henry's still-tense shoulder.
"Hi," Henry muttered.
Gold seemed to understand Henry's hesitancy and didn't move out from behind the counter. "How is Miss Swan and the Sheriff?" he asked Hermione. "All is well, I hope."
"As well it can be, considering circumstances." Hermione shrugged. "Graham was picking up my sister for their first date when Henry and I were leaving. Has the Mayor been by to see you?" Henry eyes snapped up to look at her but Hermione stayed focused on Gold. She knew he wouldn't tell her everything with Henry standing right there, but he'd tell her enough.
"She did," Gold nodded. "Came in a few hours ago in quite a state. Something seems to have happened to her family mausoleum and she was hoping I might have information about it."
"Shame," Hermione drawled. "Perhaps we should take a look for ourselves later, see what's what."
"Perhaps," he smirked. Looking back at Henry, Gold started, "So, it seems we have you to thank for all the changes happening in our little town."
Henry hesitated for a moment before finally seeming to recover his courage and moved away from his aunt's side. "I didn't do anything- it's all Emma and Hermione."
"Ah, but without you, they never would have found their way to Storybrooke, would they? For every hero, there is a guiding hand leading them where they need to go."
Perking up, Henry asked, "Like with Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins? Mary Margaret has been reading The Hobbit to us and Gandalf helps lead Bilbo on their quest to the Lonely Mountain but he's not actually the hero in the book."
"Exactly," Gold praised, leaning forward slightly. "Emma may be the Savior, but don't discount your role in all this. Without you, the heroes will never get to where they need to go."
The older man's casual mention of the curse seemed to be the signal that Henry needed to feel comfortable enough to ask the questions that had he had been obsessing over for months. "Why did it have to be Emma? There are other True Love couples in the book, why couldn't one of them have had the baby that would break the curse?"
Hermione slipped past Henry and perched herself on a countertop, smirking slightly when she was given a stern look by the shop owner. "Yes, Rumple, inquiring minds want to know." Her smile slipped away at the flash of pain in his eyes and Hermione frantically tried to figure out what she'd said. How could she have already messed up?
Rumpelstiltskin frowned at the girl, recovery quickly from the memory of Belle calling him that and wondered what was going on with her. There was clearly something wrong, something she was trying to hide. "Unfortunately, Henry, sometimes things just happen. It's all about timing, you know- only a product of True Love would have the power to break such a powerful curse but not all of those children born to a True Love couple actually have the power needed to break a curse. Every curse has to have a loophole though, a way to break them. Regina's focus was on Snow White and Prince Charming, a True Love couple expecting their first child, and said child was destined to be very powerful. Therefore, magic deemed her as the most likely person to be able to break the Dark Curse and Emma was cast into the role of savior."
Henry slowly nodded, brow furrowed as he processed what he'd been told, but Hermione gave Rumpelstiltskin a look that clearly demonstrated her disbelief in his explanation. However, she wasn't going to question him yet, not while Henry was still in the room.
"Could someone else break the curse?" Henry asked, glancing over at Hermione.
"Unfortunately not," Gold sighed. "It has to be Emma."
"How are we going to manage that?" Henry groaned, resting his elbows on the glass counter in front of Gold and placing his chin in his hands. "She believes in magic, but not in the curse and it's stupid."
"Language, Henry," Hermione automatically scolded.
"But it's not even a bad word!" Henry protested, frowning at her.
Blinking at him, Hermione shook her head slightly. "You're right, it's not. Sorry, was a bit distracted."
"Distracted by what?" Gold asked, still studying her.
Pausing for a moment, Hermione finally sighed and decided to tell them some of what had happened the day before. "I had a visitor yesterday, someone from my world."
"The blond?" Henry immediately asked.
Hermione groaned. "Ruby?"
"Of course," Rumpelstiltskin answered instead of Henry. "I'm sure the entire town knows by now about the blond, British, visitor staying in the inn who seems well-acquainted with you."
"Ugh," she shuddered. "Is she telling everyone we're together? Because that would be revolting."
Henry and Gold shared a glance before her nephew asked, "Who is he? How do you know him?"
She sighed. "His name is Draco Malfoy. He's someone I attended school with. We… weren't friends. However, the Minister of Magic in Britain decided that it would be best to send me some assistance, regardless of my own thoughts on the idea, and Malfoy was deemed the best choice."
"Is he as powerful as you?" Rumpelstiltskin asked, eyes narrowed in thought.
"No," Hermione snorted. "Not even close. He is, however, from a rather well-to-do family. They were on the wrong side of the war, which decreased the amount of influence they have now, but the Malfoy's still hold some sway and now Draco is trying to show that they've turned a new leaf."
"What does that mean?" Henry asked. "Being 'on the wrong side of the war'? Was he a villain? And is 'Minister' the British name for the President?" Hermione was struck again by how truly innocent Henry was.
"No, Henry," she told him, smiling softly at him, desperate to preserve his easy view of the world but knowing she couldn't do so forever. "It just means that his parents made some poor decisions and Draco had deal with the consequences of them. He's not evil, just ignorant. And yes, the Minister position is somewhat similar to the American President- though there are some key differences."
"How long will he be here?" interrupted Rumpelstiltskin. He knew there was more to this then Hermione was telling, something she was trying to keep from Henry. Not that he could blame her- a child had no business being involved in war.
Hermione shrugged. "As long as Kingsley, the Minister, deems it necessary. Seems my personal opinion doesn't hold much sway here." And didn't that just sting. Hermione had proved herself more than capable during the war, had gotten herself and the boys through alive and intact, yet Kingsley still thought it was necessary to send a minder to look after her.
Her magic started to hum, sending a shudder down her spine. Regina had just left her office.
Regina had terrible timing.
"Something wrong?" Gold asked, having seen Hermione tense.
"Not exactly," she hedged. "But there is something I need to go deal with."
The crushed look on Henry's face nearly made her rethink her plans. "We have to leave? But we just got here!"
"I have to leave," Hermione started slowly. "I see no reason why you have to leave yet though, as long as you're both alright with it."
Henry glanced shyly over at the pawnshop owner. "If it's okay with you…"
Gold gave him a small but genuine smile. "You're more than welcome to stay as long as you'd like."
"Lovely." Hermione hopped of the counter, giving Rumpelstiltskin a grateful smile before kissing Henry's forehead lightly. "Behave yourselves."
The two males watched as she strode out of the shop before turning to stare at one another again.
"So…" Henry started, casting about for something to say. "You're pretty old, right?"
I paced around for hours on empty
I jumped at the slightest of sounds
And I couldn't stand the person inside me
I turned all the mirrors around
Ducking into an alleyway, Hermione disillusioned herself and apparated to the edge of town. Before she had gone to pick up Henry, she had made a stop at the Mayor's office to look over her schedule for the day. When she saw that Regina was to visit the mining tunnels to check on the progress the construction workers were making on closing them, Hermione realized that this was going to be her best chance.
She had learned from her mistakes with Rita Skeeter and Dolores Umbridge. Hermione had left them alive and that choice had caused her nothing but pain and suffering. It also did not help that they knew she was the one responsible for their pain and therefore they did their best to repay her in kind. She would be smarter this time around.
Leaning against a tree, Hermione waited patiently for Regina to arrive. Her calendar had said she would be stopping here at 4:00pm before going to pick up Henry at his therapy appointment- an appointment that Archie had called Regina's office to inform her would need to reschedule. Hermione had deleted the message before Regina could hear it and had picked Henry up herself.
At two minutes before the hour, nearly 20 minutes after Hermione had arrived, Regina's car pulled into the gravel lot right outside the opening into the mine shaft. Climbing out of her car, Regina looked around the area with pursed lips and, as she started walking towards the large 'Danger' sign, pulled out her phone and placed a call.
I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones
The bell announcing another person entering the shop halted the increasingly-easy conversation between Gold and Henry. "Are you Mr. Gold?"
Studying the blond man who had entered his shop with a small sneer curling at the edges of his lips, Gold answered, "Indeed I am. And I assume you must be Draco Malfoy."
Draco huffed. "Seems news really does travel quickly in a small town."
Gold smirked. "Oh, I didn't learn about you from young Miss Lucas, though she is quite the gossip. No, I heard all about you from Miss Granger. I'm sure it wouldn't surprise you to hear that there's no love lost there."
Glancing back and forth between the two men, Henry remembered promising Hermione that he wouldn't go near any new people who came into town. But, Hermione had left him with Gold because she thought he could be trusted and if Gold wasn't making him leave then it was probably fine to stay put. "How do you know Hermione?" Henry asked Draco.
"We went to school together," Draco sighed. He was already regretting coming here but it was necessary.
"What did Mr. Gold mean when he said that there's no love lost?"
"It means that your aunt and Mr. Malfoy don't get along," Gold answered.
"Why didn't she like you?" Henry asked the blond.
"I was a bullying git," Draco answered easily.
Henry frowned. He wasn't sure what that second word meant, but he was definitely familiar with the first. "You bullied her? Why?"
"Because," the blond sighed. "I was an arrogant little toad, according to your dear aunt, and she's a swotty little know-it-all."
Gold's fingers clenched around his cane as he remembered another young woman very similar to Hermione who also had a desperate love of learning. "And why would your government send you to help her?"
Draco stared out the window, jaw clenched. "Because she saved my life," he finally admitted.
"During the war?" Henry asked, studying the wizard intently.
Head whipping around, Draco gaped at the smaller boy. "She told you about that?"
Shuffling uncomfortably, Henry worried that he had said too much. "Just that there was one and she fought in it and that's why she doesn't want to fight the Evil Queen if she doesn't have to."
"Well, seems she's gotten past that," Draco snorted. Gold stared coldly at him until he sighed and added, "She helped save me from going to prison, where I most certainly would have died, and magic doesn't forget. That's why they sent me."
Rumpelstiltskin relaxed. "I see." His mind raced to fit Draco into his proper place. The boy obviously didn't want to be here, but magic forced him to stay until his debt to Hermione was repaid. He would help her when she needed it, but otherwise stay as uninvolved as possible. "And that led you to my shop how exactly?"
Draco glared at him. "Don't play ignorant," he snapped. "You know exactly why I'm here; I can almost see the Dark Magic clinging on to you which means you're probably more familiar with it than anyone else in this pathetic little town."
Henry's eyes bounced back and forth between the two men. "What does Dark Magic have to do with anything?"
Grey eyes stayed locked onto brown, even as he threw up a spell to muffle their conversation from Henry. "You know what's happening to her, all you have to do is look at her to see it."
"Well," Rumpelstiltskin sneered. "Clearly you're a bit too familiar with Dark Magic as well if you can talk about it so easily, dearie." He glanced pointedly at Draco's folded arms. "And you're reeking of it far more than I am these days."
"What's going on?" Henry demanded, looking both worried and angry that he was being kept out of the conversation.
His wide eyes reminded Rumpelstiltskin of Bae's during the Ogre Wars. "Everything's alright, Henry," he reassured, speaking loudly so that Henry would hopefully be able to hear him over the spell.
"She won't be if you keep playing spectator," Draco broke in, glaring at the former "Dark One". He still wasn't totally sure what that title meant, but he certainly wasn't impressed. "I don't know just what she told you of our world, of our war, but let me bring you in on just how bad of a situation we're currently finding ourselves in: I was a soldier under the last Dark Lord, I served him for almost two years and my parents were his servants long before I was born. He was a cruel, vicious taskmaster who enjoyed torturing people for both their failings and their successes, and I am far more afraid of Granger than I ever was of him.
"The Dark Lord may have been insane, but there was a predictability in his madness. Granger isn't mad though- she's clever and she's far more powerful then she lets on. You'll never know just what she is going to do next because she's always four steps ahead while everyone else is falling two steps behind. Whatever goal she has in mind, she will achieve it and she will burn anyone who gets in her way."
"And what, exactly, are you hoping I can do about it?" Rumpelstiltskin inquired, though he already knew what it was the boy was after.
"Stop her obviously!" Draco snapped. "I'm not going anywhere near her while she's like this; I'm not dying for community service. For some reason, Granger seems to respect you so maybe you'll have a better chance of getting through to her. And, if not, well, you're old and judging from the state of this place, clearly have nothing to live for."
Rumpelstiltskin smiled then and it was laced with such malice that Draco couldn't help flinching back at the sight of it even as the other man leaned towards him. "You know, it really was quite foolish of you to come here and confront me without any knowledge of just what exactly I am. You may have served a Dark Lord, but I am the Dark One. I am what your Lord hoped to be but was far too weak and pathetic to ever become. So, instead of being cowering in fear at the idea of a Dark Hermione, you might want to be more scared of me because I am 400 years old and ripping your soul apart would be so easy for me to do, it wouldn't even be fun."
"He's right," came Emma's voice from the entryway and they turned to face the blond deputy, Sheriff Graham standing at her shoulder. "There's something wrong with Hermione." Locking eyes with Rumpelstiltskin, she told him, "I need your help. She needs your help."
And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?
"Where are you?" Regina snapped when whomever she was calling finally answered. Rolling her eyes at the response that was given to her on the other end of the line, Regina answered, "Yes, well, when I tell you that I'm going to be here at a certain time, I expect you to be there as well. Don't forget, you're working for me- not the other way around. If you can't do the job to my satisfaction, well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you just how easy it would be to find someone else who can." Smirking faintly at the groveling that was no doubt happening, Regina spoke again after a moment. "That's what I thought," and then she hung up.
Hermione silently came up behind the Mayor. While the vindictive part of her wanted Regina to know who it was that had come to stop her, wanted to see the look in her eyes when she finally understood how much more powerful Hermione was compared to her, logic had prevailed. Hermione hadn't meticulously planned this out, hadn't set things up to her exact specifications to ensure success. All she was doing was taking advantage of the situation offered to her.
It was a long drop to the bottom of the shaft and chances were high that the fall would kill Regina. But, should it not, Hermione didn't want the Mayor to be able to place the blame on her. If she couldn't have Regina out of the picture, then at least she would be able to leave her paranoid and terrified, constantly wondering who it was that had attacked her. Yes, Hermione would be an obvious suspect, but the Mayor had so many enemies that she wouldn't be the only one.
Reaching out, Hermione gave Regina a hard shove. The Mayor stumbled forward, arms flailing wildly as she attempted to regain her balance. Unfortunately for her, she had landed wrong on one of her heels and it had snapped, sending her tumbling head-first into the tunnel. Her screams echoed up the walls until it abruptly stopped, and a distant thudding sound could be heard.
Leaning forward, Hermione stared down into the darkened tunnel. Was Regina dead? She couldn't be sure from here and Regina was too far down for her to be able to cast a diagnostics spell to check. Even if Regina hadn't died from the fall, her untreated injuries would probably kill her in the next few hours.
Turning away, Hermione ran right into Rumpelstiltskin's chest. "And just what exactly do you think you're doing?" he hissed.
I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head
They beg me to write them so
They'll never die when I'm dead
And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head
They beg me to write them so
I'll never die when I'm dead
Rumpelstiltskin kept a firm hand on Hermione's arm as he marched her into the house. Emma came running into the hallway, face pale. Looking over Hermione for a moment, Emma turned to Rumpelstiltskin and asked, "Were we right? Was she…?"
"I found her at the tunnels but I was too late to stop her," he answered grimly. "Where's Henry and the Sheriff?"
"Henry's at the diner with Ruby and Granny keeping an eye on him and Graham left to assist the rescue team in getting Regina out."
"What?" Hermione jerked her arm away from Gold. "What do you mean he's helping to get Regina out? I thought he of all people would be overjoyed at the thought of never seeing Regina again."
"And at what cost?" Emma snapped, glaring at her sister. "Do you have any idea of what you've just done? What you just tried to do?"
"Obviously," Hermione sneered. "I'm taking care of the problem before things get any worse."
"Pretty it up all you like," Rumpelstiltskin said, moving further into the house and taking a seat in the living room. "But that doesn't change the fact that you tried to kill Regina while her back was turned. If you're desperate enough to kill someone, you should at least allow them to look into the eyes of their executioner."
"Her back was turned?" Emma repeated then said to Hermione, "You tried to kill her while her back was turned?!"
"Does it matter?" the brunette asked. "Either way, she's out of the picture and out of our lives. How did you even figure out what I was doing?"
Emma gaped at her. "Does it matter? Does it matter? Of course it matters! You are not a murderer, Hermione. This isn't you. Do you have any idea what it was like, hearing from Draco Malfoy that you were going Dark? To have Thomas confirm my worst fears?"
"How would you know?!" Hermione shouted. "How would you know who I am?! I spent a year living in the shadows because I was being hunted as the second most-wanted person in all of Wizarding Britain and what- you think I made it out of there with pristine hands? I didn't. I fought and I killed and I don't regret it."
Clenching her jaw at the reminder of what her sister had endured, Emma finally choked out. "That was different- that was a war and you did what it took to survive."
"So is this," Hermione stated softly.
Shaking her head, Emma tried to reason, "We're not at war."
"Not yet," Hermione shot back. "But we will be if nothing is done!"
"And murder's the solution?" her sister demanded. "Killing Regina while her back was turned is what you deemed a winning move?"
Hermione stared at Emma with large, pain-filled eyes. "Is that really what you think about me? That I'm viewing this like some sort of game? This isn't about winning! This isn't about proving my superiority! This is about stopping the problem before things get out of hand!"
Emma just didn't understand- couldn't understand. For Emma, there was always a right and a wrong. She had never been forced to see just how dark things could be- hadn't seen just how much mercy and chances could cost.
Pacing back and forth, Hermione ran her hands through her hair and tugged at her curls, using the pain to center herself. If only Emma had read the book- if only she believed what Henry was saying- then she would know why this was necessary. Regina had caused far too much pain and suffering to everyone she came contact with. She had ruined the lives of so many- just look at Graham. She had ripped out his heart; she'd forced him to become her puppet and raped him for years.
Some people deserved the chance at redemption. But others had already passed the point of no return. Regina had taken every second chance offered her and spat on it in response. She was already condemned to die! She had already been judged and found guilty!
Finally finding her voice again, Hermione spat, "Everyone's always so content to just sit around and do nothing until they're backed into a corner with nowhere to go and then, then they start fighting back. And then afterwards, they all wonder how things got to that point. I refuse to stand by and do nothing. I won't wait until Regina's made her move, won't wait to see which one of us she tries to pick off first. I will do whatever it takes to keep us safe."
Emma broke down then, tears starting to fall down her face. "I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm sorry I failed you."
"What?" Hermione was thrown, panicked at the sight of her big sister's tears and the unexpected turn in conversation. "When did you fail me? You didn't fail me."
"Yes, I did. Clearly I did because if I hadn't, you wouldn't be standing in front of me justifying why you should have been allowed to bury Regina alive!" Emma roughly wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands. "You came to me, you told me what was happening in Magical Britian, and I let you walk away. Walk right back into the trenches. I should have stopped you, I should have saved you. I could have made you stay with me. But I didn't and I always have to live with that. But I won't make that same mistake again.
"I will not fail you again. Killing Regina is the wrong way out- it's the coward's way out. You are not in charge here, it is not your responsibility to decide who lives and who dies."
"You are absolutely right," Hermione agreed, hands on her hips, "it's not. It was Snow White and Prince Charming's job to stop her and they failed and here we are."
"Here we are," Emma echoed. "In civilized America. This isn't the Hunger Games! It is not every man for themselves, not kill or be killed. And I swear to God, I will not let you keep going down this road even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming off the path."
Rumpelstiltskin finally broke in, having had enough of standing quietly in the background. "While I do admire your ingenuity, your sister is right. You are heading down a very dark, very dangerous path."
Hermione laughed. "Odd warning to be coming from the Dark One."
"I am the Dark One, which is why I know better than most that this isn't something you want to do." Rumpelstiltskin kept his voice calm and even. This was a pivotal moment- either they would save Hermione, or they would lose her further into the Darkness. "You may not think that your current actions could be called truly Dark, but you would be mistaken. Dark magic is like a drug. Take cigarettes for example. When a person smokes for the first time, it tends to make them ill. They'll generally feel disgusted with themselves and question why anyone would willingly take on such a vile habit. But then, the more they smoke, the less discomfort they tend to feel and the positive reactions they experience become increasingly obvious.
"Several days ago, the night of the party at the Nolan's house, you suddenly fell ill for no particular reason. Did you, by any chance, perform an act of magic that some would consider to be Dark?"
Hermione watched him for a moment, expression blank. "Possibly," she finally answered, tone conveying a slight discomfort.
"The wards," Emma whispered. "You put up the wards on the house."
"Let me guess," Gold started, with a faintly mocking edge, "some of those protection spells didn't come widely recommended by your world's authorities."
"I didn't do anything wrong," Hermione snapped, shoulders tense. "They weren't Dark."
"Maybe not totally Dark," Rumpelstiltskin allowed. "But Dark enough. Enough to cause your inherent magic to react negatively to the Darkness introduced to it. And since then, when you've performed a spell that crossed that line you so carefully stayed behind your entire life, you've felt some discomfort mixed in with a rush of euphoria at the knowledge that you can now take down any threat standing in your way."
He stepped forwards, moving so that he was right in front of Hermione. "I know all of that, because I've stood where you now. I was weak and helpless, so I turned to Dark magic in order to save myself and the people I loved. I became the Dark One. But before I was the Dark One, I had no magic. Unlike you, I was truly unable to protect myself- a cripple in a time of war. My body took to the Darkness with ease because it had never experienced anything else. Yours has, and therefore will fight against you at every turn. If you go down this road, if you give in, there's no guarantees that you'll make it to the other side."
Opening her mouth, Hermione prepared to tell Rumpelstiltskin that she didn't care about making it to the other side if it meant that Regina wouldn't make it either and where exactly he could shove his warnings. Then she saw her sister's face.
"Please," Emma begged. "Please don't do this. Please don't leave me again. I promise I'll be better. Just… don't go."
It was like a dagger in the heart.
I promise I'll be better.
Those were words that Hermione was sure would haunt her till the day she died. Emma didn't need to be better. Emma was beautiful and wonderful and everything Hermione had ever wanted to be. She was bold and witty and never let anything hold her back, had walked through the fire and come out all the stronger for it.
Hermione had done this, she was responsible for putting that look on Emma's face. For making her sister doubt herself.
It finally clicked. Hermione had done this. She had hurt Emma again. She'd failed to protect her family again.
She stumbled backwards, hands covering her face. How pathetic was she, to fall so easily into the trap of Dark magic? To blindly stumble down that rabbit hole with no fear as to the consequences waiting for her below.
Pathetic. Worthless. Ignorant. Filthy Mudblood.
I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones
"No." Emma grabbed Hermione's hands, ripping them away. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare listen to whatever voices are in your head right now. Fuck them. Fuck people like Bellatrix or Umbridge or Malfoy or whoever the hell you're listening to right now. You are Hermione Granger. You are the daughter of Henry and Jean Granger. You are my sister and I am so proud of you. I am so lucky to have you as a sister.
"You are better than this, you are the strongest person I've ever known. You don't need Dark magic. Going Dark is taking the easy way out for you and that's something you've never needed to do because you are the cleverest person I know. I'll always believe in you, even if you can't believe in yourself right now."
Hermione shook her head frantically. "But I'm not anymore! You keep speaking as though you know who I am now but you don't! I don't even know who I am anymore!"
Gold's cell phone rang and he stepped out of the room to answer it.
"I know you've been feeling lost since the end of the war," Emma started softly.
"Stop, Emma, just stop! You don't know, you can't know. You… you want me to tell you what happened and let you reassure me that it's all okay and it's not! It's not okay and you will never be able to understand what I went through and what I saw and what I thought. No matter how long I talk or how I detailed I go, you will never be able to comprehend anything that happened to me so why bother? What good is talking going to do?
"I am broken and you can't fix me. And more than that, I don't think I want you to." If Emma were to fix Hermione, to help put her back together again, then she would be putting more of herself in Emma's hands. Emma would be able to take what was left of the broken bits that was Hermione and she couldn't let anyone have that much of her.
"That was the Sheriff," Gold broke in, stepping back into the room.
Emma wiped her cheeks and turned to look at him. "Did they find Regina? Is she…"
"She's alive," he answered, looking at Hermione to see her reaction.
She's alive? Hermione didn't know whether or not to laugh or cry. Regina was alive. The Evil Queen lived to see another day.
"Thank god," Emma sighed, turning back to Hermione. "See, everything's going to be fine. You didn't kill her."
"You think that the fact that she's alive wipes the slate clean?" Hermione asked, face carefully blank. "That just because she didn't die means that it's alright that I wanted to kill her? It doesn't. All it means is that she's still a problem we're eventually going to have to deal with." Rumpelstiltskin was right, killing Regina while her back was turned had been cowardly. It was the work of someone ashamed of their actions. Hermione wasn't ashamed of the fact that she knew that Regina needed to die- she was just disappointed in how she went about it.
She would have to do better next time and that was fine- she's Hermione Granger.
Emma's eyes hardened and she transformed from concerned big sister to will-of-steal law enforcement officer in a heartbeat. "There's no we here. Until I can be sure that you're not going to go running around taking matters into your own hands, you're not going anywhere."
Rumpelstiltskin's eyes glittered as he stared between the two girls. "Well, this should be fun."
And all the kids cried out,
"Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?
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