Chapter 20

"Hi Mum, where's Dad" Meg called as she came into the Shock Wave. Joan looked up from stacking some plates on the counter. She smiled as she replied "Hi sweetheart you're looking good today. He's gone for a walk how's Ben? I was hoping he would be with you."

Meg sighed. "No, he's Ok though. It takes me ages to get anywhere people keep asking after him. We've been out together but people seem wary of him, you know the way people act if there's been a death in the family, wanting to say something but not sure how or what to say it so say hi and carry on quickly."

She reached over a put a cake on a plate then continued. "I've always fancied these so I'm going to give in. Strange things spook him … you know I thought it would be the quiet but it's the people around him. I suppose he just does not feel safe, after all it was stranger who attacked him. It's not all the time though … he can start off fine then suddenly it comes and we have to find a quiet corner for him to recover then he feels guilty. Of course we are both waiting for the person who forgets or does not know about his missing months and asks or accuses him of something Derek promised while he was here. And then he would have to explain it all and watch their reaction … I suppose once it's happened we will get used to it we did before but this time it seem more difficult some how." She could not resist the cake any longer and took a bite and realised it tasted as good as it looked smiled as she ate it.

Joan watched her daughter's obvious enjoyment of the cake and asked. "You've both done well, how's he sleeping?" She pushed a tissue over to her as the cream was oozing out of the cake.

Meg wiped the cream away as she answered. "He's had a few nightmares over the past few nights, one was really scary because he walked in it and I found him a sleep on the floor as though he was in chains. Casey was around so helped me wake him up from that one thank goodness, we talked about it and it has not happened since."

She paused and let the shiver run through her to get rid of the memory and carried on a bit brighter. "He managed to go to The Deep, with Roger yesterday afternoon and stayed for an hour or so, he said they were all walking on eggshells for a while then gradually relaxed so next time will be better. I am sure he thinks Derek's about to jump out and get him again if not now then when the trial comes up.

I think it scares him and he's trying not to show it because he knows it worries me. At least everyone knows where Derek is this time and hopefully they are checking his calls. Things are getting better with Benjy it's going to be a slow job though at least we understand everything now. I find I'm getting easier at leaving Ben alone at Surf Central as well."

She laughed and carried on. "That makes me sound as though I'm leaving a puppy at home for the first couple of times. Oh but Mum you should have seen Ben's reaction to the shop it was lovely! He's come up with the idea that we should all go off on buying trips paid by him and at separate times of course. Sara's happy at the thought of a paid break with Casey. So I guess he's getting back to his old self. How's Dad?"

As it was quiet Joan got drinks for them, as they sat at the counter. "He's accepted Tim's death and agreed with Antonio about the funeral. Carmen came over and gave him a strange pep talk about ghosts and how he should help Ben. He's been quiet ever since but has taken interest in Ben's case so I don't know if it helped or not. I saw the notice in the paper about the divorce that was quick!"

Meg had coughed on her drink when her mother mentioned ghosts; everyone had agreed that part of the story should remain private, but recovered quickly. "Maria seemed happy with it and they came up with agreement about Benjy separately so it is just a simple divorce. Charles helped get things through by going straight to the Judge who was willing to have a special session away from Court House. Maria's found a house they like near Zach's so Benjy's happy and she can use a room for painting. Ocean Drive is on the market and received two offers already mind you they could be from story or souvenir hunters so they're going to be watched as they go round."

She took a breath and smiled and carried on. "We are looking for a house … well doing it in stages, I'm getting the brochures for Ben to look at then we will have a look at one or two, we thought we might send Sara and Casey out first because everyone knows us and will either put the price up or want our story and Ben's not ready for that. It's good for both of us having Sara and Casey around so we're taking our time..."

oxoxo

Hank turned off the main walkway along the beach which leads from the town, and onto the walkway which led to Surf Central as there were very few people about he let his mind wander over his problem. He knew that when he knocked on the door Ben would ask him in and be polite and accept his apology no matter how he was feeling or felt. This time he wanted Ben to understand he had changed he was no longer the jealous father. He wanted to be a friend as well as his future father in law. He smiled as he remembered how he had tried to put himself in Ben's position thinking how he would feel if it was Joan. He knew it would have driven him crazy within the first few days instead Ben had managed to find something to keep him going and come out of it seemingly all right. At least not as twisted as his brother.

He saw Ben sitting on the wall outside Surf Central looking out into the distance this looked like the golden opportunity. He called Ben's name, and winced when he saw him jump slightly.

Ben came back to the present time and turned towards the call and smiled as recognition came. "Hank! Sorry I was miles away."

Hank was close to him now and said gently. "In the basement I expect."

Ben gave a short embarrassed laugh. "Yes... I was thinking of something else and then my mind slipped back. It happens quite often... Sorry about everything..."

Hank interrupted him quickly. "Apologies accepted but it's not your fault... I think we both respect each other to know we can speak the truth and still be there for each other. So I'll say my peace, clear the air... I am angry at what your brother has done to us and to you. That last bit surprised me too... I know about family differences, we have had ours in Joan's and mine over the years, but we always came back together never hated each other... I never concerned myself about your family not even after the first kidnapping and you brought Meg back safely. I should have then perhaps things would have been easier for both of us.

Over the last few days I realised I did not treat you fairly. I gave Tim a lot of chances and with you I kept throwing up fences for you to climb over. The fact you climbed everyone should have told me you wanted to be a member of our family, and not take Meg away as I kept telling myself. I'm sorry." He paused for moment.

Ben nodded his acceptance of the apology but kept quiet because he knew Hank wanted to say more.

Hank sat on the wall beside him and carried on. "Meg raised fears about you after your return from Seattle and everyone kept thinking it was just sour grapes. Derek did a good job of twisting everything so it confirmed our fears about Meg not about him. I should have stood by her, trusted my love for her and how I brought her up, to be honest to her feelings for others. Instead I was relieved that you were off our family's hands and thought she would get over you. All she did was to hide her pain from me so I failed her and you. To be honest I'm finding that hard to accept, pride I suppose."

He gave a slight smile and shook his head as he remembered and then continued. "Carmen came to the Shock Wave with a story about you being a giver I don't believe her story, but it made me think. I realised that I should have listened to what you did not say, and what other people thought of you. The fact you never talked about home and most of the businessmen around here take you word as your bond. That is very rare especially as your past was mostly unknown and Ricardo had been stirring it up about Maria's death.

I want start again I know we will disagree at times, I think that will be a good thing. I'll be there with you when you face your brother in court because I know that will not be easy for you... I also think Casey's going to need both our help with Sara."

Ben smiled, he knew Hank's feelings were real not a put on because he thought it would make Meg love him, although she never stopped and had felt the gap growing between them over the last few days, he never wanted them to break up or lose the closeness they shared. "Thank you. I would never hurt Meg or her family. As far as my past is concerned at the moment I want to forget it. I still hear my brother's voice inside my head which was the only place I thought was safe from him. If he has his way the trial will be messy, even with the books they found. He will of course try and twist everything but with your help Meg and I will get through it." Ben caught the flash of curiosity in Hank's face when he mentioned the books, and decided he could manage to explain that bit.

He gave a short gentle laugh. "To be honest we were painful kids to teach or around others because we both had instant recall, anything read or spoken. The teachers used to make us write things down to cement it in our minds, Derek got into the habit and used to write key words or sentences then he could visualise what happened around it and could relive it all so they have his life history. I found I did not need it in fact it was positively dangerous with Derek around. So I kept everything in my head and the links locked away in the very back of my mind. Unfortunately Derek and the basement have broken my safety net and I find it difficult to shut down again. Tyus says I have to recall them and by telling them to someone they will be thrown out or locked down. … I don't want to use Dr Estrada because she is with Maria."

Hank nodded and butted in gently wanting help but not impose. "At the farm we used to keep a couple of horses and other animals I used to go out and talk to them about my troubles knowing they could not answer back, once back in the house things seemed better. When I needed an answer I used to walk with a retired doctor … I could never talk in the house found the walls restricting. You know Tyus can be trusted, he can always refer to Dr Estrada if necessary, a dog could be useful once you're out and about you could keep it at the Deep with you, Labradors are quiet and friendly. I suppose the kids were jealous of you both."

Ben smiled liking the idea and felt a bit more relaxed. "Yes but some were good … I could trade till the teachers or Derek got wise. It's just as well you did not stand up to Derek you would have been killed like Tim and then he would have gone through rest of the family and I would have been killed anyway. Although it's hard to accept I think it was better this way... I know Carmen's strange ideas but yes Tim was a ghost and he got inside my head that's how I got rescued... it takes a lot of accepting."

He paused for a moment letting thoughts settle, knocking the odd thought he still had about Tim on the head before it got too large. He wanted to explain some things about what happened in the basement to Hank but still felt very uneasy when mentioning it and felt a shiver run through his body.

Hank suppressed his natural sigh of disbelief as ghosts were mentioned and noticed the shiver running through Ben and knew the young man had taken another step forward and he'd stepped across that fine line and had become closer to Ben and was prepared to sit and listen no matter what it was.

The tension Ben felt came through in his voice even though it was soft and gentle. "In the basement I used to build up pictures of Meg in places where we were happy and I thought of you and Joan protecting her. Sort of wrapping the family security around her when she needed it. I also thought of Benjy and Maria in your protection I knew how much you liked Benjy and I will carry on caring for them as an uncle and friend nothing more.

I love Meg in a totally different way to them, there's not conflict between them, never has been. And I understand your love for Meg, my parents tried hard to protect and love us. From them I got my strength to survive and trust in my love for Meg. Yes... I would like your support not only for Meg's future but also for my own."

Hank looked at Ben feeling amazed at the man's words and said "I will be there for both of you for as long as you want me to be and I hope that will be along time."

With the tension between them gone, they sat quietly relaxed in each other's company, watching people walking further along the pathway down onto the beach.

After a while Ben said quietly. "Before you came I promised myself I would go to the Shock Wave to met Meg, surprise her. I think she had an idea I might do it because I was on edge before she left to call in Sunset Sisters and see Sara first. Anyway I got to the corner and found I could not face the rest of the way by myself. It's the people coming up behind me that worry me. After the warehouse I used to make sure I didn't go near empty buildings. This time is different it wasn't just Derek, he got someone else to help him and I know he's still around could do it again. Of course the other times I thought Derek was dead - end of problem never to raise its head again. … So I came back here to try and get up enough courage to try again or ring and explain."

Hank did not hesitate "We can walk together it is fairly quiet now or I can drive you round in Meg's car I've a spare key. I know Joan will be happy to see you. There's no rush for you to go solo it's amazing that you've been coping so well. If you want to do something special and still feel unsure ring me, I or Joan will be to glad to help."

Ben thought for a moment then got up "Thank you. I think I'd like to walk."

oxoxo

Meg and Joan were talking to Maria and Benjy when suddenly Benjy called out "Uncle Ben" and ran to the doorway.

Ben bent down and picked him up with a smile and then he looked across at Meg. She looked back with a smile of delight and confidence which grew bigger as she saw the smile on her father's face as he stood behind Ben and knew that everything would be all right and one of her dreams was coming true the other her wedding would wait but that would be okay.