Chapter 3

A few days later, Virginia led her father by the hand and led him across the Julia's yard.

"It's not far now," she told him, waiting patiently as he limped along beside her. "I'm keeping watch over them 'cause Mrs Bailey's cat wants to eat them."

The two of them reached the willow tree in the yard and began examining the bird's nest in one of the lower branches. Lou watched from the open parlor window and couldn't help but smile.

Kid was lifting their daughter up so she could get a better view of the robin's eggs inside the tiny nest, struggling a little awkwardly with his bad leg. But it was with great care and attention that he listened to her stories of how she would take care of the baby birds when they were born, and Lou could tell that even only after a week, Kid had grown to love Ginnie as much as she did. It was hard not to fall in love with the young girl, and it gave Lou hope that one day their lives would be back to normal. She needed to have faith that that day would eventuate, despite the feeling that Kid was as distant from her now as he had been during the war.

It wasn't a physical distance that separated them, if anything she felt the chasm was wider. She had not expected him to be the same man who had left Williamsburg all those years ago, but she had not anticipated the reserved, closed-off man who was her returned husband. He barely spoke to her above polite conversations about trivial matters. He slept alone in her bed, still recovering his strength and sleeping long hours both day and night, while Lou shared an old cot with their daughter in the next room.

The only real life Kid ever showed was around Virginia and her childish prattle. He would listen to her so intently, closing himself off from everyone and everything but that in her safe, innocent world. Lou was overjoyed to see their relationship growing so strong, but she feared for her own connection with her husband.

It was obvious that he was avoiding her questions about his whereabouts during the years when she'd had no word from him. Something had happened to him, that much was evident from his injuries, but whatever it was he could not share it with her. The rebuke was painful enough, but she worried more about Kid and what he must be going through if he couldn't even bring himself to share it with her – the one person he was supposed to love and trust.

Lou had had her share of secrets. Her own past, which for years had been so shameful to her, was still not something she chose to speak about. But when the time came, after Charlotte's death in Rock Creek, she had finally forced herself to tell him everything that had happened with Wicks, to explain why she had wanted to kill the man for what he done to her all those years ago and to Charlotte. It was the most difficult conversation she had ever had, but she loved him and knew she had to tell him or else she would never get past it. She needed to him to know so he could understand why she behaved the way she did, and she needed to know that he still loved her despite of it.

That was before they were married – before they promised before friends, who were closer than family, that they belonged to each other. It was before Kid promised to return to her when he went away to war. And now, when their bond should have been stronger, when he should have been able to tell her anything, Kid avoided her and her pleas for an explanation. He couldn't tell her what he had been through, what had kept him from fulfilling his promise for so many years, for missing the birth of their child, for leaving her along for so long, fearing every day for his safety.

Lou was increasingly fearful that this was something they wouldn't get past. Every day her questions remained unanswered, the more she was afraid that she had lost him forever. The smile she first wore as she watched Kid and Ginnie through the window had been replaced by an ache in her chest and throat.

"You're back already," said Julia, entering the room and seeing that Louise had returned from town. "Was there any flour?"

"Not today, Mr Lawson said maybe tomorrow," Lou replied absently. She was not listening as Julia sighed over their poor provisions and her concern that they would not be able to amply feed any returning soldiers who were still passing their gate every day.

"Were you able to send your telegram?"

Lou did not respond, lost in her thoughts, until Julia touched her elbow gently. She turned with a slight start.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Lou said, trying hard to smile at Julia but failing in the attempt.

The older women smiled sympathetically and looked out the window to where Louise had been staring. Kid and Ginnie were sitting under a tree across the yard, the young girl talking non stop.

"Did you send your telegram to Isobel?" Julia asked again.

"Yes, and to Rachel in Rock Creek as well."

Lou crossed the room and sat in one of Julia's armchairs. She had finally been able to send word to Isobel and Rachel that she had found Kid, or more precisely that Kid had found her, after the telegraph in Manassas had been down for days.

"I'm sure they will be thrilled to hear that Kid is safe," Julia said as she joined her, immediately picking up some mending from her sewing box. Julia was never one to sit idly when there was work to be done.

"I doubt Isobel will believe it, not until she sees him for herself. She was convinced…" Lou did not bother finishing the sentence. It hardly mattered now that Isobel had tried to make her give Kid up for dead, after the return of her letters to him and notification from the army that he was missing, presumed lost.

"Not many people would have had your faith, Louise," Julia said.

"It wasn't faith… it was a promise." Lou's brow furrowed once more with worry, unable to hide her fears any longer.

Julia glanced up at her tone and saw the pain etched in the young woman's features.

"He'll tell you when he can, Louise," said Julia gently, setting her sewing in her lap. "You just have to give him some time."

"What if he can't?" Lou whispered, her eyes misting with tears. "He barely speaks to me and when he does he dismisses any questions I ask. He's like a stranger…"

"He's still your husband. We can only imagine what our men went through in the war. It won't always be like this," Julia said reassuringly, her voice catching only slightly as she tried not to think of her own husband and son who were killed at Gettysburg and whatever suffering they may have felt.

"I hope you're right." Lou let out a shaky breath.

Julia glanced out the window again at Kid and Ginnie.

"It must be a lot for him to take in – finding you again after so long, discovering he has a daughter."

Lou nodded. "He missed so much."

"Maybe it's something you can tell him about… while it's still hard for him to tell you his story."

Lou considered the wisdom of Julia's words. Kid had missed everything – finding out she was having a baby, Ginnie's birth, all the milestones of her young life. There were certainly many stories to tell. Lou suddenly smiled to herself when she realized that she didn't have to tell him, she had already written it all down in the letters she had sent him over the years, many of which had been returned to her by the army.

The letters were bound in a gray ribbon and buried in the blanket chest at the foot of her bed. Leaving Julia in the parlor, Lou slipped upstairs and pulled them from their hidden spot. She had been unable to discard them but wanted to make sure she didn't come across them again unless she needed to – the memory of the day when they had been returned to her was still painful. None of it mattered now, Kid was alive. She smiled at the stack of letters and did what she could to put them in some semblance of date order before she gave them to him to read.

Julia was right. If Kid couldn't tell her what had happened to him yet she would share with him the one thing he could face – their daughter.