After a long, boring day stuck at work with Lucas, Lily relaxed into his car with relief when it was finally over, "you know you could help me around the shop if you wanted to, if you're that bored"

"No, thank you" Lily straightened up and clicked her seat belt on, "I'll pass"

"There's always the option of spending the day at the café" Lucas smiled, "Brooke offered to look after you"

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd love that" Lily mocked, "I don't want to spend my summer stuck at the café anyway, especially with Brooke, I know she's the one that grounded me"

"I grounded you"

"Because she told you to!" Lily raised her voice.

"No" Lucas turned the engine on, he looked Lily right in the eye before driving off, "I grounded you because you broke the rules. There are consequences to your actions, Lily"

The girl pouted, crossing her arms.

"You're angry, I see that. And I know you're angry at Brooke, one minute she was going to move in with us again and the next… everything kind of imploded and she's not been around as much"

"At all, you mean, she's not around at all" Lily said, she lowered her chin further into her chest.

Lucas went a few blocks without saying anything, the silence was heavy within the car. Finally, he let out a deep breath, "it's not your fault"

Lily closed her eyes, tears prickling at the corner of her lashes.

"Its not always easy, and sometimes Brooke needs space"

"Space from me" Lily retorted, she opened her red rimmed eyes, "she wanted space from me"

"No"

"She doesn't want me. If it wasn't for me, you two would probably be living together and married by now" anger laced her voice.

Lucas quickly pulled over, "you know that is not true"

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, "because it feels true. She wants you; she loves you, not me"

They stared into each other's eyes, finally Lucas let go of the breath he'd been holding, "ask her. Tonight, ask her if she loves you" he dared the eleven-year-old.

-x-

Three hours later those same red rimmed brown eyes stared at Lucas, "does this answer your question?" Lily gritted her teeth as she pushed the chair back from the table, "I'm not even surprised"

"She had to work" Lucas stood up too, "she needed to cover a shift at Tric"

"Right, sure" Lily quickened her steps, reaching the staircase, "you can tell yourself that"

"Brooke will be here later"

"Yeah, when I'm asleep I bet" when she reached the top of the steps Lily turned around, "actually now I think about its kind of sad to think she cares about either one of us because she doesn't, she doesn't love me and she probably doesn't even love you"

"Lily-"

"NO!" Lily stamped her foot down, "look around you, she's NOT HERE! Don't you get it by now, she doesn't want to be here, with us. It's pathetic waiting around for nothing" she spun back around and a few seconds later the bathroom door slammed shut.

A weight filled Lily's chest, emotions bursting at the seams she let out a scream and gripped onto the sinks edge.

Lifting her face Lily met her reflection in the mirror, her pale face was blotchy, the whites of her eyes were now pink, and her braids were starting to come undone.

In a flurry Lily pulled open drawer after drawer until she found the scissors and before she could change her mind, she put them to one long braid and snipped, watching the thick braid fall to the ground, and then she went to the other.

Dropping the scissors Lily ran her fingers through the left-over braids, pulling the jagged ends apart until her hair was loose, the uneven length almost reached her shoulders and Lily smiled a little.

Then she cried.

-x-

It was after ten at night by the time Brooke arrived at Lucas' three-bedroom house, she unlocked the front door and stepped into the darkened entrance. A light turned on, exposing Lucas sitting on the couch in the living room, "hey" Brooke whispered.

"Hey. Lily's asleep"

"I thought she'd still be up seeing there's no school" Brooke slipped off her shoes, "how was dinner?"

"A bit cold by the time we ate"

"Sorry I called as soon as I could" she let her hair out, letting the troubles of the day fall away from her as she relaxed, "mind if I have a shower"

Lucas was staring silently at Brooke, she started to feel uncomfortable at how still her boyfriend was being.

"Lily locked herself in the bathroom, then she locked herself in her bedroom and cried herself to sleep"

"Because I had to work?" Brooke slackened her jaw, "you told her I had to work right?"

"She didn't believe me"

Brooke slightly shook her head, "and she over reacts, like always, you coddle her Luke and whenever she doesn't get her way this happens and I'm always the bad guy"

"You always downplay how she feels and say she's being dramatic"

"She is dramatic!"

"I wonder where she learnt that?" Lucas gave a sad smile.

"Right, no Luke, she's got your broody tendencies written all over her" she huffed, frustrated at the whole situation, "so what exactly am I meant to do? I can't be everywhere at once"

"You could be here more" Lucas stood, "Lily isn't entirely wrong, she doesn't just think you're avoiding her as if its in her head. She thinks you don't want her, that you don't even love her, Brooke, and everything you have been doing lately isn't helping" he tried to not yell. "I know you think you're protecting Lily but you're not, you're hurting her even more."

"You know that's not what I want"

"Then change it because I do not know how long we can keep going on like this, somethings going to break and I won't let it be her. She's just a kid, Brooke, and I don't want to pick between the two of you but I will if I have to"

"Luke…" Brooke reached out, he stepped away from her still feeling too much pain from the day, "okay, okay, I will… do something, talk to Lily and try to get her to understand that I just need… I just…" she stopped, "I don't know what to do here" Brooke felt the tears threatening to fall, "I am holding on for dear life but I feel like the walls are crushing in on me, I want to be happy, I want to be happy here with the two of you but… I'm screaming inside Luke; it hurts me to even breathe some days and I don't know how to fix this, to fix me"

"You don't have to do it alone" Lucas finally reached for Brooke, "you're never alone, I'm right here with you".

-x-

Peyton jumped up in bed, startled she looked around the room slightly taken aback by the blinding light coming from the side of the bed. It was a small price to pay for sharing a motel room with Jenny who hated being in the dark, Peyton allowed her eyes to adjust as she took in the sound that had woken her.

Her daughter tossed and turned on the single bed next to her own, thrashing as if she was trapped. So many years later and the memory still haunted their nights, still was the reason they got so little sleep. Peyton often wished Jenny could forget the darkness. Fear could be all consuming though, body crushing, like the very walls of the world were closing in on you, slowly inch by inch and no matter what you did you knew there was nothing you could do to stop it.

A mother's fear was more crushing than most.