"So, I've been wondering something all night," Seamus said, "Which of us is the best in bed?" Ava and Aubrey looked at one another and giggled again.
"Well. I can only speak for myself, but I'd have to go with Charlie."
"But I've got the biggest penis!" Cedric announced.
"Size doesn't equal greatness. Loudness for you maybe, but not greatness," Aubrey answered.
"I'm hurt."
"Sorry Ced, but I have to agree. You are indeed the loudest," Ava said. "But I do feel the best was Draco. Why else would I have married him?"
"Because you were pregnant and your parents wouldn't have approved of you having a child out of wedlock?" Aubrey answered.
"Minor detail, my friend, minor detail," Ava added.
"You were pregnant before you were married?" Lucius interrupted. "I was unaware of that."
"That was sort of the idea, Father," Draco said.
"Forgive me for saying this, Lucius," Harry said, "but can you not add? May to January isn't exactly nine months."
"I never quite thought about it," Lucius retorted, eyes narrowed at Harry.
"Well, I for one," Ginny decided to announce, "have to agree with, Ava. Draco was the best."
"Well you can't exactly sleep with Charlie, can you?" Aubrey questioned sarcastically.
"No, and I'd rather not hear about how great he is in bed, thank you. I've learned enough about my brothers' sex lives tonight."
"I'd have to say Sirius was the best," Americus added, receiving disgusted looks from the others. "Oh come on, he was extremely good looking for an older man!"
"The man was our parents age! You just don't touch that."
"You're the ones that missed out," Americus shrugged.
"I must say, this food is fabulous," Percy said. "I must borrow your house elves for my next party."
"Sure," Ava replied. "Just let me know when and I'll send a few over."
"It's so nice to be able to speak freely about house elves without Hermione here. I think I may have killed her if she had stayed another minute."
"I think we all might have killed her," Ginny added as she pushed her now empty plate aside. Nearly everyone around her followed suit.
"So boys, we've told you who was the best our of you lot, who was the best out of us?" Aubrey asked.
"Well, Ava, of course," Draco said simply, winking at his wife.
"You're not getting anything from me tonight," Ava said.
"Well, I'm not lying. I only do the best. Does any man here disagree that Ava is the best lay they've ever had?" Draco looked around, and no one seemed to deter from his answer.
"I can say she's not the best I've ever had," Goyle said.
"You don't count. You only sleep with other men."
"And I wouldn't want it any other way."
"I'm very insulted," Aubrey said.
"Don't be. You're still good, Love," Draco said. "Ava's just better, that's all there is too it. And Ginny, the things you can do with your tongue, absolutely amazing."