Alright guys, I'm back from Orlando! Yeah, I did the whole Disney thing and I had a pretty good time. I caught a cold right before we left, so I'm kind of weak in the brain and body right now. Oh well, maybe it will spark something amazing in the story. ;) Thanks for your on-going support!

This chapter is basically a self-reflection from Beast Boy about the choices he has made in his life; I think we all have them from one time to another. Enjoy. -Jason

Let the Fire Fall

Chapter 6: Scatter the Ashes

My eyes flickered open slowly, drawing in the new day that awaited outside my dusty, dim apartment. It didn't seem so dim and dusty, however, when I looked at the sleeping angel who lay next to me. Petty matters like that were unimportant; I was the luckiest guy around to be next to her.

I sat up slowly, not wanting to wake Raven. My feet shuffled to the corner of the small bedroom, and I sat down on old paint bucket. A small wave of depression hit my heart, and it surprised me. Here was Raven, this smart, lovely girl, and I couldn't even provide a nice place for her to crash. "What-ifs" started flood my thoughts and I wondered about the choices I had made.

"I left because I wanted a fresh start," I told myself fiercely, as if I wanted that phrase to sink in and stay there. "No…you left because you couldn't handle your problems."

I was contradicting myself over and over, ideas volleyed back and forth in my mind.

"Well, if I really did need a fresh start, now's the time to do it, my last shot."

My ears perked up when I heard a small moan escape Raven's lips. I sat a little straighter and wondered what was wrong.

"No, Gar, please…don't leave me again…no…please…"

Raven was talking uncomfortably in her sleep, dreaming a nightmare…and it was all my fault. As I watched her toss and turn in my bed, helpless, I started to cry. The tears just came pouring out all at once, held back for over two years. I sobbed silently and wondered how I could ever forgive myself for what I did that one autumn night...the way I keep telling myself it never happened…truth is, it DID happen, and I only have myself to blame…

Two years ago, the night before Beast Boy's departure…

"Where you goin', BB?" Cyborg asked absent-mindedly, his eyes glued to the game he was playing with the uttermost concentration.

"I'm just going for a walk," he said, his voice monotone and uncaring. Any thought of backing out was now dead and gone.

Cyborg pressed pause and turned around to face his best friend. "Hey, man, is everything OK? You don't sound like it."

The changeling just looked at the metallic teen and then looked away. "I'm fine. Why the HELL wouldn't I be?"

Cyborg studied Beast Boy for a moment, eyeing him. "Al…right then." He turned back around and pressed start, continuing the game.

Beast Boy spent not a minute more wasting time as he strapped his boots on and headed into the night; the cold that pierced his emerald, bare skin didn't bother him. He thought about turning into a small bird and getting there quickly, but he didn't want to risk being noticed…not that that was hard enough already.

As he made his way down to his destination, a part of him was screaming to turn around just go home. Try as he might, he found his feet were now carrying him…

Minutes later, he approached the alleyway, darker than the midnight sky and smelling of urine, booze and other disgusting scents. If he had had been his normal self, Beast Boy would have never come here, not in a million years.

He walked further into the dark alley and saw the shadow he had been expecting. With one quick motion, it gestured him to follow.

"Do you understand the plan?" the shadow asked bluntly, without hesitation.

"Yes."

"Do you understand that we will kill you if you fail to complete the task?"

"…I do."

With that, the shadowy figure led Beast Boy to a small, abandoned warehouse, covered in grime and cobwebs. Once inside, the figure stopped at a large safe, and span the combination quickly. He popped the lock and opened the metal door, revealing a small hand-written map and a set of keys labeled in different rooms, like "First Corridor" or "Supply Room".

"If you complete the task, Mr. Logan, will we return what you are seeking unharmed. If not…I think you know."

The changeling wanted to kill this evil demon in front of him right then and there, but he would never get Matt back if he did. And then he'd REALLY be dead.

"The target you are locating is a man who goes by the name "Hokimoto". He has a, "toy" of mine that I'd like back. But it seems Mr. Hokimoto doesn't share well with others. I want it back, immediately."

"And that's where I come in, right?" Beast Boy asked coldly, glaring at the shadow.

"You ARE a smart boy, aren't you, Mr. Logan? Well, after you get my little toy back from the bastard Hokimoto, we have to teach him a lesson, yes? Such a…wrong-doing can't go unpunished."

"So, you want to me to…to…kill him?"

"Exactly."

Present.

The last sobs ripped out of my body, and I sat there heaving, trying to catch my breath. Much to my dismay, Raven started to stir, finally waking up.

Thinking quickly, I rubbed the tears from my eyes and sat up straight, making sure to hide any trace of emotional pain from my face.

The empath slowly opened her eyes, and her gaze then feel upon me. "Good morning, Mr. Logan," she said smiling, her eyes half-closed.

It took everything I had to give her a big, fake smile. "Good morning Rae. Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I really did," she said, sitting up. "Today's the day…Gotham City awaits."

I nodded, keeping the fake smile plastered to my face, hoping she would never know.

"Yeah, very exciting, huh? Let's go meet the ol' bucket of bolts."

We changed very quickly and got our suitcases in hand. Raven stepped out of the apartment and further into the awaiting day. As I locked the door to my apartment, I felt a single tear roll down my cheek.

This was going to be hard…so hard.

Well, you finally know what happened that night two years ago, but why would Beast Boy ever think of killing someone? And who is this Matt he is trying to rescue? Find out next chapter. ;) Like always, thanks so much for reviews!