"Derrin. D-Derrin! Shut up a mi- DERRIN! SHUT THE HELL UP FOR A MOMENT WILL YOU?"

My friend stopped pacing and rambling for a second and looked at me, startled.

After a group of American tourists had walked through us a minute or two before, he had freaked. I was sitting against the cemetery fence, with my sore back against the cool metal.

"What?" Derrin asked me. He was extremely pale. Go figure. "How do you expect me to react? People are walking through us James! Is that normal to you or something!"

I sighed. "First of all, stop yelling. It's not helping anything. And second...um...my name i-isn't James."

Boi-oi-oi-oing! Derrin's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He sat down hard on the ground and put his head in his hands.

"How could you not be James? Why would you pretend to be someone? What really happened to you? What the hell is GOING ON?" He sounded like he was about to crack.

I sighed and rubbed a hand through my hair. "Okay. I guess since we're stuck here for a while, I should tell you what I know. Where do you want me to start?" I tried not to let my apprehension show.

This was hard. Really hard. I did not even want to think about this topic. But fair is fair, right? Now I had dragged Derrin, one of my best friends, into my hell, and he had a right to know as much as I did, no matter how much it hurt to relive the past...

"Why don't we start with introductions, eh?" He sounded like he was going mad. Once again I was strongly reminded of Ron. "Hi! My name is Derrin MacKinnen. Now friend, who the fuck are you?"

I chuckled. "Okay. The sarcasm isn't helping anything. My uh, my real name is Harry Potter. I used the name James because that was my father's name. I--what?"

Derrin was staring at me with a strange look on his face. "Harry Potter? But isn't that-"

"Yes. I'm the boy missing from London. Are you with me so far? Good. Because now it's going to start getting really weird. I would like it if you didn't interrupt me. You might not understand everything, but that's all right. I just need to get the main point across..."

So we sat there for a few hours, me talking and Derrin listening. He sat down next to me to lean against the fence. I told him of being a wizard and of Hogwarts and my friends. He seemed incredulous at first, but then he seemed to sit back to enjoy a 'good story' or something. I explained about Voldemort and his followers, the Deatheaters.

After about an hour of talking, Derrin finally spoke up. "Yeah, yeah, that's all good and fine. But you still haven't said how you ended up here. I mean, they posted those ads over a year ago, and they said that there was no way you would run away; it was a definite kidnapping. So, what happened to you? Where did those scars come from, eh? Why are you all the way up here in Scotland, rather than down in London? I want to hear that part."

I hesitated for a second.

Now, the really tough part...

"...right. Um, well, when I got kidnapped, I had just gotten home for the summer. Well, not home, but to the Dursleys, you know. I had gone out for a walk to get away from them. I got about two miles away from the house when I was surrounded by about twenty or so death-eaters. I was stunned before I had a chance to think. When I woke up, I was in a dark stone cell."

I shuddered as I thought of the cell--freezing cold, pitch black most of the time, the constantly dripping water that could drive anyone insane, the-- "Ja-Harry?"

I looked up. Derrin was looking at me, worried. "Are you all right?"

I sighed and pushed the images to the back of my head. "Yeah."

I sat silent for another second before starting up again. "Anyways, long story short, I got tortured pretty much every day for information about Dumbledore and the Order, and stuff like that. When that didn't work, he tried to poison me against them and join him, like that would ever happen anyways, and when that didn't work, he said that if I wouldn't speak, I didn't deserve a voice, blah blah blah, that's kind of how I got this scar." I pointed to my neck.

"Kind of?"

"Well, yeah. It didn't work, did it? Anothrer time he just said I was annoying with all the screaming and swearing and stuff so he tried again. I honestly don't know how I'm still able to talk- the git's a bloody butcher. Anyway, I made sure to keep quiet after that. He wanted me to break, you know, so I would join him, betray Dumbledore and the Order, as well as all my friends. I didn't. So he said I didn't deserve to go back to them or the life I loved so he cursed me. That's the patterned scar on my back that ripped open last night. I had no idea what the scar could do if I went back to my friends. All I knew is that it would hurt them as well as me. Well I had to protect them, right? So I ran. That's how I ended up here, and it's because of that scar we're in this mess right now."

"But how did you escape? You never said."

I looked at Derrin and thought a minute. "Well, did I tell you what disapperating is?"

"No."

"Well, it's when you can disappear from one spot and magically reappear in another. Like, You could cross the street by disapperating, or you could cross countries, as long as you stopped at a few waypoints along the way."

Derrin's eyes got a sparkle in them suddenly. "You mean that you could just magically disappear then reappear wherever you want?"

"Pretty much."

"Think you could teach me?"

I chuckled. "Sorry, mate. Only witches and wizards can learn."

Derrin looked dejected. "Why do witches and wizards get to have all the fun? I mean, this place is so boring compared to what you've told me about. Dragons, trolls, werewolves, dementors, magic schools, I mean, that is so awesome! I'd give anything to be able to do some of the stuff that you do! Quiddich makes football sound completely boring, and that's sayin' a lot!"

I laughed hollowly. "Yeah, well, it was incredible. Still is, though I can't go back. And about doing some of the stuff that I have, looks like you might be dragged into one of my adventures, as you put it. Hell, you already have."

We sat in silence for another minute before Derrin coughed and said, "Sorry, please continue."

"What?"

"How did you escape?"

"Oh. Right. Anyways, I got so angry when I was in there. I had always hated Voldemort, but now, I loathed him. You can imagine why. I pretended to be angry at Dumbledore instead. I twisted my own mind to make him believe it. But I would practically boil inside whenever I saw him. It makes me sick to think I used that tactic, but looking back, it was the only way. So since Voldemort figured I was getting closer to his side, he would take me into the main hall where all the Death-Eaters would be gathered and ask me all sorts of questions. If I didn't answer like he wanted, he would either torture me or let a few of the Death-Eaters have a go at me. But every day they took me out there, they led me through a hallway. It was two stories off the ground; I could tell because there were windows along the wall. Four of them. After a few weeks, I had a plan set. Voldemort believed he was 'breaking' me. So after a while, he would only send two or three gaurds to come fetch me from my cell. One day when they came, there was only one. I knew that it was 'now or never'. It never occurred to me that Voldemort might have just been testing my loyalty to him, but even if I had, I don't think it would have stopped me. I walked along with the guard, and when we reached the first window, I turned and punched the guard as hard as I could, right in the nose. I guess all the anger sorta helped, because he was unconscious before he hit the ground. I ran and jumped through the window. The rest is kind of foggy, because I was running on pure adrenaline. I had to; there was nothing else for my body to run on. Anyway, I remember people chasing me, shouting and throwing curses at my back. I don't know how I avoided them, but I did. When I judged I was far enough from the mansion where I was being kept, I disapperated. I had never done it before, and I couldn't tell you how I did it if I wanted to. I was really lucky I didn't splinch myself."

"Splinch?"

"Yeah, it's when you leave part of yourself behind."

Derrin went bug-eyed.

"But that's how I got away. About a day or two afterward, I realized tat they wouldn't be chasing me, because Voldemort was still torturing me. He knows me too well."

"What do you mean?"

I bit my lip. "Well, as one of my friends put it so nicely, I have a, uh, 'saving people thing'. Voldemort knew that I wouldn't risk going back to everyone if I knew it would hurt them. I honestly don't care if I die or not. But I made an oath that I would kill Voldemort. I know I'm the only one who can. So if I snuff it afterwards, I don't care, as long as he goes before me..."

I sat there staring into nothingness as my voice trailed away. Derrin looked at me warily, and seemed to recoil slightly at the cold glint in my eyes.

"You don't mean that, do you?" He looked extremely worried. "I mean, you want to see your friends again, right?"

The glint in my eyes faded as their usual emptiness returned. "Of course I do. But I guess it just that, well, I've been though so much already, I don't care any more. I've been a wildcard for too long. Dumbledore wants to use me against Voldemort, Voldemort wants to use me against Dumbledore, I mean, how much can one person do? It drives me nuts how people always used to look at me. Like I was some sort of hero or something. Just because Voldemort killed my parents and couldn't kill me! I was famous because of Voldemort's stupidity. Now we're linked by the curse that was supposed to kill me and I'm the only one who can kill him. I'm his number one enemy, while everyone else adores me. I'm just so sick of it!"

I was practically snarling now. Derrin looked sacred, but he shuddered forth "Uhm, well, that's uh, exactly the kind of attitude you should have,"

I shot him a what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about kind of look and he continued-"Only save it for Voldemort, okay? 'Cuz you're really scary when you're mad. Just promise me one thing."

I laughed then said "What?"

"I'm going to help you. You have to let me help you."

My expression hardened. "I can't let you do that."

He shrugged. "I don't see why not. We're friends, right?"

"Right..."

"And we're stuck here together, right?"

"Right..."

"Well, why wouldn't I help? I should be able to."

"Well...I...you can't just...rrrrgh...you don't understand!"

Derrin smiled. A voice in the back of my head uttered 'wow Ron, your hair turned brown and you've lost your freckles! '

"I'm helping you, an' that's that!"

"But-"

"Oh shut up Harry. I've heard enough angsting for a lifetime. Instead of talking and being sorry for yourself-" I shot him a furious look. "-and acting all noble by trying to 'protect me' why don't you do something abut it, eh? We're stuck here, so let's make the best of it, then get the hell out. I don't know about you, but I would really like to be noticed again."

I sat there as Derrin stood up and looked me in the eye. I was flabbergasted. He put his hand out to me.

"What do you say, Harry? Want to get and get some revenge and get back home where you belong?"

Slowly, my mouth split into a wide smile. Taking his hand, I said in a determined voice, "Hell yes."

Surprisingly, my back didn't hurt at all as he helped me up. But before we started walking, I stopped him.

"Derrin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."