After school Jade stops by her locker to drop off her things then waits by Beck's locker for him like he asked her to do in his last text to her. Beck walks out of his class and when he nears his locker he spots Jade. After he spots Jade he smiles and walks over to her.
"Good, you came." He says with relief in his voice.
Jade watches Beck open the lock on his locker and unload the things he doesn't need anymore. "Well, you asked me to. What did you need to talk to me about anyways?" She's a bit nervous. It's hardly good when Beck says he wants to talk about something. It's hardly good when anyone sends you a text that says we need to talk so she feels justified in her nervousness.
Beck's smile fades slowly as he remembers what he wanted to say to Jade. He gets straight to the point. "What was that at lunch?"
Jade's eyebrows furrow in confusion at the vague question. She can't pinpoint what Beck's talking about. "What was what?"
Beck "I put my hand on your knee to comfort you after you got to the table and seemed annoyed by Robbie. You just shook my hand off. Why?"
Jade rolls her eyes at Beck and looks straight into his eyes. "I didn't want you to touch me" Jade states simply.
Beck looks at her and frowns deeply. "You're still mad at me? I thought you were over that when you sat next to me at the table."
Jade glares at Beck. "Yes I'm still mad at you and you shouldn't have assumed anything. Just because I sat next to you at lunch doesn't mean I forgot what you did."
Beck sighs and closes his locker before fully turning his body to face Jade. "How can you still be mad about something that happened yesterday?" He questions
Jade leans back against the locker while keeping eye contact with Beck. "Hmm, I don't know." Jade replies calmly. "Maybe because you're always pushing and encouraging me to be nicer to Tori. Then when I'm nice and she and I actually became friends you get mad at me for it. You can't tell me to do something then get mad when I follow your advice."
Beck throws his hand up in exasperation. "I didn't think you'd actually do it!" Beck complains.
Jade is annoyed. Why would Beck tell her over and over again to be nice to Tori if he didn't actually expect or want her to follow through with it.
"Then why would you suggest I do it for so long if you didn't actually want me to act on it?" At Jade's question, Beck looks sheepish and a theory hits Jade. "You only wanted me to be nice to her so you could hang out with her more" she accuses pointedly.
"That's not entirely true," Beck admits softly. "I wanted to hang out with everyone more. I wanted there to be peace and less tension. I didn't ever think that you guys would become legit friends and hang out with each other everyday for weeks at a time. I barely see you anymore."
This conversation has barely started and Jade is already over it. "How can you even say that Tori and I hang out everyday? We don't hang out that much and you know it."
Beck rolls his eyes at Jade in frustration and annoyance. "How many times were you at her house this week?" He emphasizes carefully.
Jade frowns and shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. I think I was at her house like four times but that's different," Jade argues confidently.
"How do you figure?" Beck questions skeptically with his arms crossed over his chest.
Jade groans and runs her hands through her hair. "We had a project to complete and the workload needed to be evenly split. It's not like I was over there watching movies and having a good time. We were working, not relaxing. Also, how dare you say you rarely see me anymore? Everyday I wasn't at Tori's house I was with you. The past few weeks I've been spending all my free time outside of school with you or Tori."
"I liked it better when you were just my girlfriend and not Tori's too," Beck mumbles quietly.
Jade's eyes narrow. "What?" She questions sharply. She has a burning feeling in her chest. "You did not just say that to me," Jade emphasizes harshly.
"Babe," Beck says. "Calm down so we can talk about this."
Jade knows she might regret this later but right now she's seething and she couldn't care less. "Since you feel like you're sharing your girlfriend and you don't like it, why don't I change that for you?"
Beck smiles brightly at Jade. "I'd like that. It's so sweet of you to do that for me." Beck replies cheerfully.
Jade smiles wildly at him. "Good. Instead of sharing your girlfriend with someone else you won't have a girlfriend."
Beck's smile drops instantly. "No, no. Babe, c'mon don't overreact about this."
"Oh," Jade says angrily. "I'm overreacting?" She questions.
Beck isn't sure if he should say anything right now. That question feels like a trap and he feels very close to losing his relationship if he takes one misstep in the form of the wrong words.
"That's not what I meant," Beck mutters eventually.
The weighted silence before Beck replies doesn't make Jade feel any better. "I think that's exactly what you meant. If I'm overreacting because I got mad that my boyfriend said I can't have a life and friends outside of him and our relationship, then I guess I am overreacting."
"Okay," Beck relents. "I think you're overreacting about something that really isn't a big deal. I feel like I never see you and I don't think you should be spending as much time with Tori as you do. You should be hanging out with me but you aren't and I'm not a fan of it. What's so wrong with wanting my girlfriend all to myself?"
"I will not be told what to do. Not by you, not by anyone. Nobody controls me. You've never had a problem with me hanging out with anyone before so if this is some new possessive part of you I never saw before because you didn't feel threatened by anyone in my life then I don't think this relationship is for me."
Beck tries to reach out to touch her but she puts space in between them. "Jade please. You know I'm not like that. I'm not threatened by anyone. I know you'd never leave me for someone else. You're the jealous one in the relationship and I'm used to that. I just want more of your time."
"Don't touch me," she says sharply while pulling away from Beck's reach. "No, I don't know who you are. The Beck I know would never tell him that hanging out with my friends is a problem for him. I don't even recognize you right now. Calling me jealous when I have every right to be is complete bullshit."
Beck just watches as Jade puts more distance between them. "I don't give you any reason to be jealous and yet you are," Beck exclaims forcefully.
Jade's lips are tight when she smiles. She resists the urge to ball her fists at her sides while she looks directly at Beck. "Why don't you tell all the girls that flirt with you that you have a girlfriend? Why does Cat have to do it for you?"
Beck rubs his temples. He's starting to get worn down by this fight. "I don't tell anyone about our relationship because everyone already knows that we're dating. Why do I have to state the obvious?"
"No they don't!" Jade snaps. She's getting frustrated with Beck's attitude when it comes to the way he acts in their relationship. "You can't expect everyone to know about us. It would be nice if you stopped letting girls think they had a chance with you even if they knew we were dating. You can't make me crazy and then ask me why I'm crazy."
"Jade," Beck says calmly. "You're being ridiculous. Those girls know I love you."
Jade sighs loudly. "I'm tired of this. Clearly everything I'm trying to tell you is going in one ear and out the other. I need some time alone to figure out if this relationship is the right one for me. Until I figure out who you really are and if these issues between us can be resolved in a healthy and long lasting way, I don't want to be your girlfriend."
Jade starts to walk away and ignores Beck as he calls after her to stop. Jade can't be here right now. She needs to leave and get her head clear. The only way Jade knows how to do that is to be alone and write out all of her feelings. Whether that's in a song or a scene that she's writing. She hopes it makes her feel better because at this point she feels like crap and doesn't know when it will go away.
Once Jade gets home from school she grabs a snack from the kitchen and eats it at the table. When she's finished she grabs a few water bottles from the fridge and heads to her room. Jade spends hours replaying her conversation with Beck over and over in her head.
She cries a little. She hates to admit it but she does. It doesn't really make her feel better when she does it but after it's over she feels a tiny bit lighter. Jade grabs her notebook and starts writing some song lyrics down.
Jade spends the next several hours writing to take the pain away. She writes in her journal and she writes down song lyrics. After her song lyrics are written down she takes out her laptop and starts writing on a scene. She likes writing song lyrics in her notebook and movies and plays on her computer because it helps her keep her focus on each individual project.
Once Jade has done all the writing she can do before she's run out of ideas so opens back up her notebook and spends the next two hours singing. Jade occasionally tweaks some lyrics here and there if she doesn't like them or they don't fit when she sings them.
Jade forgets about the outside world when she writes so she's surprised to hear her phone go off from somewhere in her room. She stops singing and looks around for it. She finds it on her bed under her blanket.
When Jade picks up her phone and the screen lights up, she notes that it's 7:25. Jade sees she has two texts, three missed calls and one voicemail from Beck. She also notices that she has a text from Tori. She doesn't open her messages from Beck because she already has a good idea of what they say.
However, she listens to the voicemail just to make sure Beck wants what she thinks he wants. Jade is about to toss her phone back onto her bed when Beck's voicemail confirms her suspicions of him wanting to talk and make things better. Jade wants to make things better but she can't shake the feeling that she doesn't know who Beck is anymore.
In the three years she's dated Beck on and off, he's never tired to tell her that she couldn't hang out with her friends. He's also never told her that he wants her all to himself and Jade doesn't like the vibe it gives her. She doesn't want to be rethinking her relationship with Beck because she loves him but during that fight their relationship started to feel more and more wrong to her.
Jade felt like her only option in that situation was to step away from everything and do some thinking about what it is that she wants from her life and her relationship. She knows for sure she doesn't want someone controlling and if Beck is going to have that kind of attitude with her she's better off without him; No matter how much she loves and wants him.
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