After her conversation with Cat, Jade finds herself thinking about Tori. She knows Tori likes her and the thought of that scares her. It scares her a lot because feelings are something that need to be handled with care. That's something Jade has accepted that she isn't always good at.

Knowing Tori feels the way she does about her changed things for her. Jade doesn't know if Tori has realised it, but all the talks they've had about Tori's feelings for her have helped put things into perspective for her.

Tori's feelings for her are real and those feelings aren't something she can pretend don't exist. Like she does with her own. Tori constantly and unknowingly reminds Jade that their friendship (because it is a friendship now) is in a state that most of her others aren't in. She feels like she needs to think extra carefully about what she does and says around Tori when it comes to certain things. Her old behaviour with Tori wasn't acceptable then and it's even less acceptable now.

Looking back on it, Jade knew that she wasn't very good with feelings. Other people's or her own. Neither is an exception but she tries harder to make sure that she isn't doing anything to hurt Tori more than she already has. Tori has put up with enough of her crap since coming to Hollywood Arts and maybe it's about time Jade started to treat her the way she always thought Tori deserved to be treated.

Sighing deeply Jade tries to turn off her brain. She's beyond tired of thinking. The last few weeks Jade has been trying to ignore the way her thoughts and views on Tori have changed. It wasn't anything major at first, they were subtle until they were so obvious that she couldn't stand to ignore how big they were getting.

Being single and not having many interactions with Beck has given Jade the time to really sit down and think about what's been going on inside her head. There's no simple way of saying what she's thinking but as the days go on and on, she's starting to consider the fact that she might also have feelings for Tori.

It makes her head hurt and her heart pound at the same time. It sucks to know that all the responsibility is on her shoulders when it comes to this kind of information. She's not normally the one in this position but regardless of that fact she knows that her next moves need to be well thought out. Jade can't just go around doing things without having thought them over thoroughly.

These feelings that she has for Tori, the ones that are getting stronger every time they hang out can't be expressed. Every time she sees Tori give her a longing look she reconsiders her decision to stay quiet about the way she's starting to feel for a split second but ultimately sticks with her gut.

Sometimes, Jade can't help the tiny bit of guilt that eats away at her for not noticing earlier into her relationship with Beck that she was starting to like Tori. That's not that type of person she is or wants to be but she was in some serious denial about how she felt and she wouldn't let herself think about it, ever. It makes sense in a way because the way she denied herself of feeling for Tori was the reason she noticed that Tori was looking at her differently. She was acting differently and when it clicked for Jade she knew what it was right away.

It wouldn't be right for her to tell Tori such big news without knowing for sure what's happening between her and Beck. Somewhere deep inside Jade's heart she knows that it's over on her end. She doesn't see him as the same guy she first fell in love with and she's come to accept that. Beck, on the other hand… She doesn't know how he feels.

Even if she did though, Jade knows that their time to be in a relationship has come to an end. It makes her sad in a way that she never expected to feel. She's mourning the loss of her first real long term relationship with someone whom she still loves. She doesn't think she's in love with Beck anymore but how can she be selfish enough to tell Tori she thinks she's starting to feel something for her when she's still grieving losing Beck in the way she's always thought she'd have him in? How can she tell Tori about the way she lingers around her when it's just the two of them because she's not ready to leave when she still has to give herself time to fully get over Beck?

She's already seen Tori crushed far more times than she'd like to count and she won't put her through that another time. Not when she doesn't have to. This is the one time when she refuses to be selfish. She wants to think about how someone else feels and the fact that she's putting Tori's feelings above her own tells her all that she needs to know.

She really is starting to like Tori in the same way she knows Tori likes her and shit she's so scared. She's scared because she's a little broken on the inside and she isn't sure how she's supposed to tell Tori that loving her comes with so many challenges that she might not even know about yet. Everyone might think she's the way she is because she's mean and she likes people being afraid of her. Well… all that stuff is true but that wasn't always who she was.

Her heart was broken really badly before and after that, she chose to always protect herself. Heartbreak wasn't something she felt she could go through again and she got really good at building her walls. She got good at being someone she once thought she'd never turn into. She had to change in order to survive and keep her heart from being battered again by someone who didn't deserve the love she had to give.

Her relationship with Cat is very special to her because Cat saw her before all that crap happened. She's been with her through it all and she's never hurt her. She saw her go through all that and she stuck by her. She got hurt and she got mean but Cat showed how much of a true friend she was so of course Jade has a soft spot for the redhead. Cat has been her best friend for a long time and she'd go after anyone who hurt her. Jade smiles at the memories of everything her and Cat have been through all the years that they've known each other as she confidently walks down the halls of Hollywood Arts in search of something strong to drink so she can get through what little left of school she has to endure before getting to go home.

Jade knows she doesn't have enough time to buy herself a coffee from her favourite coffee place so she hopes for the good of everyone they have some left at the asphalt café. She might end up very grumpy if she doesn't have her precious caffeine since that's the easiest fix to solve all her thinking that's started to stress her out. Jade really doesn't need another headache on top of everything else she's already feeling right now so she hopes with all her heart that she'll be walking into her last class satisfied that she got her way.

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