-1When I found time to proof read I found a few mistakes in yesterdays update so I apologize for that and I will definitely be more careful today. I think you all so much for your reviews and I know that sometimes the updates seem a little short but I like to give you all something to sink your teeth into every one or two days ya know? Anyway I'm glad you like it and remember let me know what you really think!

-Part 4- Slipping Second Half

"You know Sam…" John cleared his throat rising from his seat on the bed opposite the one Dean now lay on, Sam faithfully pasted to his side as he watched him sleep. "I-I know that you think this is your fault in someway…."

"Not now dad okay?" Sam looked up at him his own eyes beginning to show the wear and tear that this whole ordeal was having on him as well… Normally so vibrant…. So blue, they had become dull and lifeless these past few days and John Winchester hoped and prayed that he would soon be able to help and heal both his boys from this wound they suddenly had to cope with.

"We need to talk about this." Sam felt the carpet shift just a little as his father kneeled down next to him and he sighed rubbing his eyes.

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Yes son, there is and you know it…. You are blaming yourself for this happening to your brother, and you know as well as I do that that's bull, and there was nothing you could have done to prevent this…"

"I should have been there, we shouldn't have split up!"

"If you were there, the witch could of gotten you too…. And then what would of happened, how would that have helped your brother?"

"How much help am I being to him right now? It's not like he'd be any worse off…"

"Stop that!"

"What?" Sam retorted quickly, "You can't tell me that you yourself don't feel partly responsible for this dad!"

"Of course I do Sammy, everyday that I wake up, every breath that I inhale I am filled with guilt because of the life that I have forced upon you boys…."

"He's always so busy protecting us, that no one has ever really watched out for him." Sam rose to his feet after that last statement and pulled his shirt over his head exposing his bare chest. "I need to take a shower while he's going to be out for a while."

"Alright." John cleared his throat softly and shook his head returning to his previous spot on the other side of the room and watching Sam disappear behind the small door to the bathroom before closing his eyes. Their short conversation playing over and over in his mind like a haunting VHS tape.

His son's should have had the life they deserved not the life that he chose for them, and he could see that now. Hell Sam had graduated top of his class, with a full ride to Stanford for a four year education, and instead of congratulating him, instead of being proud…. John found himself kicking his son out of the family and only keeping an eye on him from a far until just recently.

And Dean, poor Dean…. He'd stopped being a son before he even hit puberty and instead became his father's warrior . Most men his age were getting ready to settle down, in the market for a home…. Starting families… But not Dean, his life didn't allow for much more than a one night stand, his heart was so full of fight and revenge that although he was capable of more love than most… He was incapable of showing it.

No, this was definitely not the life he and Mary had imagined for their boys…. But it was however the life he had forced them to live…. And the guilt he felt for that was never going to subside not even long after he was dead.

Turning on to his side and deciding to try for a little rest he studied his son's sleeping form apologizing to him over and over in his mind begging for forgiveness even though his voice could not be heard...

And before he knew it he was lost in a world of dreams…. And that was when she came to him:

Her white gown floated perfectly behind her slender frame as she leaned down and touched her husbands cheek ever so softly, rousing him from one dream obviously into another as his wife's beautiful face came into view…

Her sharp, flawless features staring down at him framed by her golden locks as a smile found it's way to her lips. "Hello John." She whispered stroking his stubble with her fingertips.

"Mary….?" John sat up slowly as tears came to his eyes looking at his wife there before him, he had dreamed of her many times before, but never could he reach her, never could he feel her breath on his face…. Never was she this ... real. "I-I'm so sorry…." He choked out…"I-I"

"Shh…" She put her finger to her lips and stepped away from his bedside shifting to look at her son laying there his features covered in discontent, his face filled with pain. "What happened to me was not your fault John, you need to remember that…." She placed her hand on her eldest son's forehead and John swore he heard tears in her voice…. "He needs you…"

"We're Trying…" He was now standing beside her so closely that his senses were filled with the jasmine and lavender scents that she always used to smell of.

"He suffers John…"

"I know."

"Even before now he has suffered…." She looked from her son to her husband, "She played on those fears…. She tore him down from the inside out and she still does… If you don't do something soon… He will be lost to you forever…"

"Tell me how…" John pleaded…

Mary leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her son's forehead before doing the same to her husband and whispering… "Not everything is as it seems… under the eye of the protected."

"I don't understand…." John's face froze as he watched his wife fading away from him for the second time. "Mary-No!"

"Good-bye John…"

"No Mary…"

"Dad?" Sam shook his father's arm lightly to wake him having heard his mothers name spill frantically from the older man's lips…. "Dad wake-up.."

John's eyes opened and Sam's face came into view with a start….

"Are you alright? You were calling out mom's name…." He kept his voice at a low whisper as he spoke.

"Yeah-" He nodded and swallowed trying to clear his mind, her image, her words still fresh inside of him. "Just a nightmare…"

Sam cocked his brow at his father but decided not to push for the time being as he noted the slightly red glaze over his eyes… "Okay."

"How long has your brother been out?"

"Just about an hour and a half…" Sam ran his fingers through his wet hair as he looked over at Dean's sleeping form, he knew that the dreams he was having were not good ones, but that without at least a little rest there was no way he was going to be strong enough to keep fighting this hold on him.

"That's good…. What do you say, you and I walk down to the office and grab a cup of coffee?"

"I-I don't want to leave him alone." Sam's voice was filled with hesitation.

"He's resting now. He'll be fine." John checked his son over as he slipped his jacket on.

Sam sighed softly and nodded reluctantly before stepping out the door.

John thought briefly of telling his son about the dream he had, but quickly erased the temptation from his mind clearing his throat and watching the tall lengthy brunette walking slowly toward the front office with his head down. "I'm sorry you know?"

"I know dad… me too… I had no right to say those things-"

"I'm glad you did-"

"No…I didn't mean them…"

"Yes you did, and that's alright…. You are right, I never should have pushed this life on you boys…."

"It's not your fault…. You wanted to find the thing that killed mom- And I understand that now more than ever…. After Jess that is all I can think about, revenge…"

-Dean gasped for a single breath to enter his lungs as he forced himself from another endless nightmare plaguing his mind… His own scream waking him his body trembling as he waited for his brother to come to his aid… to fuss over him as he had been doing so often lately….

But when moments past without so much as a whisper into the silence of the hotel room as he lay there fighting to catch his breath and regain his composure… His heart began to pound mercilessly in his chest his stomach knotting into a thousand knots and piling into his throat…

"sammy…?" His voice shook

"I told you I killed him…." Her voice boomed through his ears like a megaphone laced with a pleasure filled evil. It was as though she was standing right before him her wrinkled face clear as day in the blackness that clouded his vision.

"SAM!" He screamed again trying to block her out, "DAD!"

"They're gone…."

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE LYING!"

"Then where are they?" He could feel her ice cold hands on the flesh of his arm sending a chill through his body… "I killed them, I told you I did…."

"JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Dean jumped from the bed his knees wobbling his hands out reached as he could hardly find the strength to stand through his fear and her grip she had on him. "SAMMY!"

"DEAD!…GONE….All gone…"

"You stupid BITCH I don't need my eyes to kill you! Where are you?" His feet moved slowly in a circles swishing through the darkness of his mind searching for her even as the fear and realization struck him that he really was alone, and she really might have been right! Tears began to form in his eyes.

"I told you I killed them," She hissed almost dancing before him as he could feel her hand running down his arm and up through his hair. "How about I tell you how!"

-Clutching his head as he and his father waited patiently for the coffee to pour from the automatic machine Sam gasped as he felt another mind altering vision coming to pass….

"Sam?" John frowned putting a hand on his son's shoulder and helping support his weight as Sam looked up at him his eyes dark and face painful.

"God." He mumbled through the pain as he watched it all begin to unfold paralyzed with fear.

Dean was wondering franticly around the hotel room, his hands out reached looking for something as he kept pausing to grip his head mumbling and screaming. "GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" There are tears in his eyes and his face definitely reads of pain as his body shakes and he finally grasps what he's looking for… Hoisting Sam's duffel bag up onto his bed he fishes through it with blind eyes, "I'll show you…. You're going to leave me alone… you are not coming for me, your not… your not coming for me…." He mumbled as he threw the clothes from the bag and finally his fingers grasped the cold steel metal of his trusty old forty five…..

It was like he turned to face Sam Straight on his eye lids were bleeding like he had tried to scratch her out of him, his breathing hard and shallow as he made his way to the corner of the room in some sort of confused state, the hand holding the pistol shook uncontrollably as Dean wondered the wall his words now a low mumble as he called out to the Witch of Pine-Forrest Woods…

His knees begin to give way and he leans on the wall swallowing hard and shaking his head before he begins slamming it back into the wall harder and harder with each thrust his hand coming up he wipes the sweat from his brow his chin trembling as he begins crying out not in the physical pain but the mental pain he was struggling with…. "WHY DID YOU TAKE THEM AND NOT ME…. WHY DID YOU DO IT? YOU BITCH YOU CAN'T HAVE ME!" All the cocky banter was gone from his brothers demeanor and vocabulary and was replaced by sheer real anguish that panged Sam's heart like a thousand knives. "YOU CAN"T HAVE ME!" He called again and Sam watched as the 45 in Dean's hand cocked his sightless eyes shifting from side to side his head moving around mercilessly obviously disturbed by the images that were now embedded there.

He slid the gun into his mouth and….

"Dean! NO!" Sam called out as he woke from his 'Vision' his forehead bathed in a cold sweat of fear. "Oh…oh god…." He said nothing to his father as he pushed past him his heart sinking down deep into his stomach as he raced back to the hotel room.

"Sam? Sam what is it?" John asked having to run twice as fast as he normally would to even attempt to catch up with his son staying on his heels.

"Oh god…. Dean…." He fished into his pocket with trembling hands and fought to slide the key in the whole and turn it….

Seeing the condition of his youngest son John himself felt panicked as Sam finally pushed the door open "DEAN…." He called out as his eyes scanned the room finding his brother in the far corner just like in his vision slamming his head repeatedly against the wall trying to remove her from his reality, the gun cocked and ready in his grasp as he mumbled almost incoherent words to himself…

The room was ran-sacked as Sam made his way into it followed closely by a stunned and slightly confused John… "What the hell?" He asked softly.

Just as he was in mid-slam Sam pulled dean from the wall, locking his incoherently rambling form against his body he noted that his brothers flesh was once more colder than the Mississippi river in the dead of winter he locked his arms around the stiff body tighter "Dean." He whispered as their father crouched down and began prying Dean's trembling fingers from the gun .

"I'm sorry…." Dean whispered brokenly. "I'm sorry I didn't save you Sammy…. I'm so sorry …."

"I'm here Dean…." Sam frowned a little looking at there father whose eyes looked near tears at the image before him.

"She killed you….." He whispered weakly as he began to bang his head into the taller brothers chest… "get outta my head…." He begged softly "…. Just leave me alone….. You've done enough…. Just leave me alone…."

"She's not here son…" John whispered as he came up behind the two boys and forced Dean's head to stop banging back and forth holding it gently in his grasp just hard enough to stop the motion…. It was now at this moment he knew that Sam and Mary were both right, his son was slipping from him, and he needed to do something quick to save him or he would be lost forever.

"Neither are you….. She killed you both, she's only using you to torture me… to make me suffer…. Just like before…" He cried out a little fighting to free himself from the binding grasps of his father and brother who he was sure were only figures of his imagination …. A trick to torture and torment him…. "Just like before when she killed you right in front of me…. I smelled your blood I saw your faces, that's all I saw…. Your faces so helpless….. And mom….. Mom…. She came and she told me, she told me what I knew all along…. I was a failure….. This family doesn't need me….. I'm the reason we are so screwed up in the first place." He growled and fought weakly for a moment…. "Just let me go…."

Tears were now spilling lightly from his brothers eyes as he held tighter to him, as he grasped a hold on him unlike any other, almost as though he were going to hold him there forever and save him…. Protect him as he watched him fall apart right before his eyes…..

"I couldn't protect you Sammy…. And I'm no good to you dad, I can't do anything right so I watched you die….. And I saw it it was real just as real now as it was the first time…."

"Dean…Dean listen to what you just said man…" Sam whispered trying to keep his composure…. "It wasn't real the first time, just like it isn't real now…"

"How…How do I know…." Dean fought against his every instinct to break down right then and there the sound of his brothers voice a soothing calm the enveloped his whole body.

"I'm right here Dean…. And dad's here too okay? And we are not going to let anything happen to you do you hear me?"

"How do I know what's real and what's fake anymore damn-it!"

Sam frowned and slowly let go of his brothers body griping him by the wrist and bringing his hand to his face forcing it there… "See me?" John let go of his son's head slowly.

Dean's hand shook as his brothers face formed in his mind with every inch of flesh he inspected for the first time in this whole ordeal….. For the first time in his life…. He felt weak as he swallowed and let his body collapse relief over taking the panic in his mind, body and soul.

"Woah….." Sam whispered gripping tightly to the exhausted form holding them up….

"We need to get out of here…Now! We Need to go Sam/" As quickly as he had let his walls down they were back up again and he was fighting against his exhausted body to rise to his feet…. "She's coming…. She was here I saw here, she's- she's attached to me somehow and she knows where we are…."

"Dad?" Sam asked looking to their father, "Dad, is that possible?"

John thought once again about his wife's words to him and rubbed his chin stubble…. "It is possible… That with whatever is binding him to the witch could also draw her to him." He nodded a little, "She's tapping into his subconscious somehow connecting, it's draining him of his sanity bit by bit and there is a good chance that she could be coming for him…."

"You know you two don't have to talk about me like I'm not here…" Dean stated meekly, "And I'm not going crazy I know what I know and I know she's coming…"

"Dean-"

"Shut up Sam…"

"I just think that maybe you should let someone else take the lead on this one is all…"

"Are you saying you don't think I can handle it?"

"No I just…. I think that maybe you are to connected is all…"

"The bitch stole my eyes Sammy and is living in my head… This is personal."

"That's my point."

"Why don't we just argue about this later, for now can we concentrate on getting the hell out of here?"

"Alright son…" John came up behind him and lead him toward the bed setting him down. "We will, Sam and I will get everything back together, and load the car… you just try to regain your footing alright?"

"fine." Dean rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his palms emotionally and physically spent he let out a long deep sigh, he would give anything at this moment to just sneak away get into his impala blast some Metallica and fade away from everything into the sunset…. The longer this whole thing kept up the more he felt like he wasn't going to be able to handle it.

"Dean?"

"What Sam?"

"If you ever even so much as think about blowing your brains out again by the way…. I'm going to royally stomp you do you understand?"

"How did you…." Dean's head rose and cocked slightly cursing to himself. "Damn that stupid e.s.p. shit of yours."

"Are you saying that you wished I hadn't stopped you?"

"Actually Sam….." Dean let his voice fade off and his thought escape him. "If you ever try to drug me again…. The same goes for you…."

"You needed rest…."

"You need to not worry so much-"

"Yeah like that's going to happen." Sam quipped throwing the duffel bag over his shoulder and stomping out of the room so his brother would know of his exit there for halting the conversation.