Rebel Anarchy

by Kilo8

With no one left and no place to call home, the last surviving rebel fighter from a ruined world begins his journey to avenge his planet and comrades; to Pandora: where he plans to hunt down the leadership of Hyperion, the cause of his misfortune. However, he and the rest of Pandora will soon be thrown into a storm of anarchy when a certain redhead and her robot show up.

11. Chapter 11 Myths and Legends

-TRANSMISSION ONLINE-

-Beginning ECHO Review Log-

It was just another normal day on Satellite of Love.

*BOOM*

Well almost normal.

(Tina) Happy Independence day!

(Kilo8) TINA! what the hell!?

(Tina) What? I'm just showing my patriotism for Independence day.

(Kilo8) Tina, it not Independence day. That over two weeks ago.

(Tina) I know that, I'm celebrating Hoth Independence Day!

(Kilo8) . . . Hoth. . . The snow pla-, no the "ice" planet. . . Really, that your excuse.

Just then a greased covered Gaige walk into the control room.

(Gaige) Hey, Kilo I just… Whaaa happened here?

(Kilo8) Tina is trying to celebrate "Hoth" Independence day.

(Tina) It a legitimate holiday!

(Kilo8) Your not even form Hoth! No one is!

(Tina) The Tauntuans are!

(Gaige) UGH, Whatever. Kilo, the projector is fixed and chapter 11 is ready.

(Kilo8) Finally! And where T?

(Gaige) He just finished installing the popcorn machine and is making a fresh batch right now.

(Kilo8) Great, now all we need is… [Just noticed the viewers] Oh, hello everyone, your all just in time for another installment of Rebel Anarchy! Will just get right into here, but just remember to stick around after the chapter for some final notes and news.

Suddenly Tina comes back riding on a Tauntuan.

(Tina) ONWARD MR, FUZZYBUTT! TO THE MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER BITCHES!

(Mr. Fuzzybutt) AAAAAU! AU-AU AAAAaaaau…

(Gaige) Where did she-

(Kilo8) *Sigh* I honestly don't want to know. Please enjoy the chapter everyone.

-ECHO Transmission interrupted-

X-X-X

Disclaimer: I do not own Borderlands or any of its characters, Borderlands is owned by Gearbox Software and 2K Games, the only ownership I claim is of my own OC's. This is a story just for your fun and enjoyment. Please enjoy.

X-X-X

Chapter Beta Read by

"Redemption's Avenger" and "alexyo3"

X-X-X

-Stories text formats-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Echo/Radio"

'Krieg's inner voice'

X-X-X

Chapter 11

Myths and Legends

X-X-X

- LAST TIME ON REBEL ANARCHY -

As they approach the main platform they could see two Bruisers looking around in every direction. "Where she go!?" One of them asked. "I don't know!" The other yelled as he fired several shotgun blasts in random directions.

Everyone then heard a rumble that began to quickly build up when a red and orange flash suddenly struck between the Bruisers. The following shockwave cased both Bruisers to explode into bits, as blood and body parts flew all around. However, what really grabbed the Vault Hunter's attention was the woman who appeared where the flash had occurred.

She was crouched down on her left knee and had her left fist bashed into a small crater on the ground from where she hit it. Her body was glowing in a fiery orange and had a pair of fire wings coming from her back. The glow around her body started to subside showing her pale skin. She stood up and turned around to the Vault Hunters revealing a familiar set of tattoos on her left side of her hip and her left arm. Her hair was a deep scarlet with it lightening up near the ends, with her eyes being a pink with a slight glow. She had on a maroon tank top with a shortcut, with a brownish grey vest that was cut at the midriff and wasn't zipped up, and a pair of brown fingerless gloves. She wore skin-tight pants with knee high combat boots with metal guards tide to the front of them.

"It can't be." Angel said in Gaige's Whisper. "The Fire Hawk is-"

"Lilith?!" Kai suddenly asked.

Lilith just looked over the Vault Hunters for a few seconds till a cocky smile graced her face. "Sup."

- AND NOW THE CONTINUATION -

Lilith suddenly fell to one knee, which Kai immediately reacted to by rush forward to check her. "Maya!" Kai yelled causing Maya to snap out of her shock and she quickly runs over.

Lilith looked up at Maya as she came over and looked her over. "Huh, been a while since I've seen another Siren." She said before turning to look at everyone else. "Howyadoin'. The bandits call me the Firehawk, but the name's Lilith. I'm with the Raiders, like you. I keep the bandits in line so Roland can focus on taking down Jack. Anyway, long story, lots of internal bleeding." She suddenly groaned and leaned forward a bit.

"Are you hit anywhere, is anything broken?" Maya asked as she and Kai checked her over.

"Oof. I'm fine, I just need a pick-me-up. Get me some Eridium, will ya? I should have some in one of my strong boxes." She said nodding to one of the other platforms. Gaige and others ran over and started checking the boxes until Sal found a chunk of it. They quickly brought it back to Lilith.

"Is this what you need?" Sal asked holding out the glowing rock.

"Yeah, that's the stuff. Give it here?" Lilith said as Sal gave her the rock. Once it was in her hand she clutched her hand around the rock and began to squeeze it causing both the rock and her tattoos to glow as the rock was absorbed into her hand. Almost instantly all her wounds seemed to heal as her body seemed to absorb the eridium. "Ahh. Thanks." As she took a second to revel in the energy. "Bet you're looking for Roland, huh? He's not here, the Bloodshots grabbed him. Made 'em cocky, too; they never came after me this hard."

As soon as she finished the sentence there was an explosion behind her as a vent over the platform blown open. A few seconds later several Psychos dropped down one of them pointed his buzz axe at Lilith and yelled "Yer days of meltin' my meat bicycles are over!"

Lilith just chuckled a little before turning back to everyone. "Now the real fun begins. I'll see if I can't phase blast a few of 'em for ya." She said before she disappeared in a flash.

The next several minutes involved a large amount of slicing, dicing, shooting, burning, shocking, and melting all of the Bloodshots as they attempted to raid the cavern. Throughout the fight, Lilith used her Siren powers to kill off several dozen Psycho's and Bandits. It all finally came down to two badass Psychos. "They killed our toys brother!"

"UNFORGIVABLE!"

"Let's pound their souls and make sweet cranberry jam!"

"I LOVE JAM!" The other Psycho screamed as they charged. . . Into a firing squad.

"EAT LEAD PENDAO!" Salvador screams as he and the other Vault Hunters all began to unload hundreds of rounds into the one on the left. As for the other Psycho, Lilith appeared in front of him in a flash and grabbed his head. With a blast of energy, the Psycho's face began to violently melt into a puddle of putrid slime.

"Damn, that is nasty, girl." Gaige said as she held her nose.

"Maybe, but you have to admit it was pretty badass. I'm feeling pretty tapped out, can someone get me another chunk of eridium." Lilith asked as she kneeled down to rest. After about a minute of looking, Axton found another chunk and gave it to her. "Much appreciated." She said as she absorbed the rock.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you just do?" Maya asked.

Ahhhh. Yeah." Lilith said as she looked over to the fellow Siren. "Since the Vault opened, my Siren powers have been getting a little... awesome, thanks to this Eridium stuff. No idea why. Now, let's talk about rescuing my boyfriend." She paused and thought about it. "Well...ex-boyfriend."

"Before the Bloodshots grabbed him, Roland was getting intel on the Vault, and what Jack plans to do with it. You all will have to find him since I need to head back to Sanctuary, keep the city in one piece while Roland's away. But first, I'm gonna teleport you guys into the Bloodshot Stronghold, that's where they're keeping Roland. You'll catch 'em by surprise and have a real advantage. It'll be great. Hold still."

"Ugh Lilith, I don't think that a good-" before Kai could finish there was a flash that blinded everyone. When it ended they all looked and realized that they were still in the cavern, only now they were on a walkway off to the side of the main platforms. Then everyone but Maya suddenly bolted in different directions as the sound of bile being thrown up could be heard. Even Zer0 ran behind a rock to throw up.

"...I just moved you all, like, ten feet, didn't I? Sorry. I'm still getting used to this. Reminds me, though, Bloodshot Stronghold is full of real tough customers. So you might want to gear up some. There a few items at the end of the cavern there that that should be useful."

"Will take that under advisement," Maya said as she looked over to her suffering friends.

"Well, I'll see you guys when you get back to Sanctuary. Kill some Bloodshots for me." She said cheerfully before suddenly teleporting away.

After another minute or two everyone got back together and headed down through the cavern Lilith pointed out. The Vault Hunters soon reached the end and found a large red chest near an opening that put them up on the cliffs near where they entered the canyon. Sal unlocked it, causing the chest to automatically open up. What they found garnered several reactions as the content of the chest consisted of several stones in various shapes. The only thing of note was the fact that they glowed a little.

"Oh boy! I always wanted one of these!" Salvador yelled as he quickly snatched up an angularly shaped stone with slits of orangish-red crystals threading it.

"Wait what so special about a stone?" Gaige asked as the others (except Kai) also had confused looks.

Sal just grinned as he held the stone up in his open palm. "This... is an Eridian relic." He said as the stone began to levitate as a glowing red aura cloud seems to start spinning around it.

"Woah." Gaige whispered as everyone stared at the relic with fascination. Sal then took the relic and placed it in his ECHO storage deck and walked over to a large boulder. "Sal what are you-" Maya started to ask when Sal suddenly started to yell as he brought his right fist back and then quickly lashed out at the boulder. Upon contact, a large set of spider web cracks formed around the impact point.

"WOAH!" Everyone but Kai and Zer0 yelled in shock. "It grants super strength! That is AWESOME!" Gaige yelled.

"I guess you can call it that." Sal said as he walked back to the chest as he picked up another relic that was spikier than the rest. "But note, strength isn't the only thing." The relic in hand activated and several blue auras spun around it. "This one an elemental relic, a fire booster to be exact. It increases the power of fire weapons and attacks.

"And any of us can use these?" Axton asked.

"Yup." Kai said as he opened his inventory and pulled out his own relic. "This one an Allegiance relic. It boosts several stats of the Vladof weapons, such as recoil and even mag size… Don't ask how it works, because I can't explain why it works, just know it does work."

"Can you use them in conjunction?" Gaige asked.

Kai and Sal glanced at one another. "It's… Possible, but very dangerous. The last guy I saw do it was a Vault hunter who used a Vitality relic in conjunction with a strength relic, he turned into a three-meter tall green skinned raging monster. . . before he exploded." Kai said.

"I saw a Bandit once try using a Resistance relic with an Elemental relic, that bastard turned into a puddle of slime." Sal said as he turned a little green at the memory.

Soon after the rest of the Vault Hunters each picked their own relics. Axton took Dahl allegiance relic, Maya grabbed a Resistance relic that boosted resistance to shock, Zer0 took an Aggression relic that boosted his snipers and SMGs damage. Krieg took an Elemental Relic that boosted fire element attacks. Gaige to her slight disappointment had to settle on a Protection relic that boosted her shields recharge rate and capacity by fifteen percent. After which they quickly left and head to the Bloodshot dam.

X-X-X

[One Hour Later]

The gang was sitting outside of Bloodshot stronghold in four Runners as they stared at the front gate. "Is anyone even home?" Maya asked.

"No idea… Axton?" Gaige asked.

"I don't know." Axton said from his Runner.

"Hunh… Nobody seems to be around." Lilith said over the ECHO.

"No, they're there." Kai said in a bored manner as he checked his sidearm, an uncommon Jakobs Leather Revolver. "These guys are just straight-up lazy when there's nothing to shoot or gut."

"Well then, just drive up and honk your horn. Maybe this won't be so hard after all." Lilith said over the ECHO. She had made it back to Sanctuary and was now providing command support.

Axton shrugged his shoulders before he honked his Runners horn.

Their ECHO's came on again as the gate began to lower. "Yeah, yeah. I'm opening the gate." Said a very lazy sounding bandit.

"Holy skag licks! It working!" Sal said causing Kai to flinch as his gut knew what was going to happen next.

"Hold it, idiots!" Came Flanksteak voice. "That don't look like one of our technicals! They're here for our hostage, get em!"

With that several ports opened on the wall of the gate entry as dozens of guns began firing on the vault hunters. "RETREAT!" Axton yelled as he and everyone else quickly spin their Runners around to get away.

Once they were safely away the gang stop to regroup and check for bullet holes. "Well, that didn't work." Sal said.

"Because you FUCKING JINXED IT!" Kai yelled as he jumps out of his Runner.

"Well, what now?" Maya asked.

"Storm the rampart like a flying coconut and land on their doormat of blood and hate." Krieg yelled. Everyone looked to Kai for a translation.

"Like the initiative in your thinking buddy, but I don't know where we would find a catapult on such short notice." Kai said.

"Wait, didn't you tell me those Bandit Technicals have catapults, couldn't we snag one of them?" Gaige asked.

"Yes, but believe me it a pain in the ass to get one. Plus we could have already had one in the digistruct system if 'someone' wasn't always blowing them up before we could scan the ones we stole!" Kai said.

"Hey! I only accidentally destroyed four of the Bandit trucks you and Reiss brought to me." Scooter said. "The fifth one was not my fault."

"You just let Earl eat the fifth one! You didn't even try to stop him!" Kai yelled.

"Wait, you mean that cranky old man ate a whole Technical!" Sal said. "I know you said he ate a car but how do you eat a truck!?"

"You don't want to know\You don't want to know." Both Kai and Scooter answered.

"Actually, wouldn't it be easier to just sneak in by having a technical truck, instead of launching ourselves at high velocity?" Maya asked. "After all, we just need it to look like one of there trucks from the sound of it."

Everyone was silent as they processed Maya's suggestion. "That could work." Axton said.

"My sis out in the Dust might be able to hook yall up with a set of wheels." Scooter put cut in.

"An interesting idea there / very simple and very effective / plus it much safer." Zer0 said.

"Then it's decided, get to the Dust and meet up with Scooters sister." Lilith said.

Kai just sighed. "Well, this is going to be fun."

"Why do you say that?" Maya asked.

"It's about a two to four hours to drive to the Dust over rough roads, that are patrolled by several bandit gangs." He gave a dejected sigh and climbed back in his Runner and started strapping in. "Well, let's go. This is gonna be a looong trip."

Gaige was about to get back to Kai's Runner when she noticed Krieg was still standing where he was when he suggested his idea. His head was drooped down some, shoulders slumped and his one eye showed a disappointed sadness. "Aww, you really want to try the catapult, don't you."

Krieg just nodded a little. "It was a good idea, just not the best time for it… I'm sure will find a situation where we'll need to use a catapult."

Krieg looked at Gaige for several seconds until he suddenly grabbed her and brought her in for a hug. "Thanks for tingling my spine little red!"

"Ugh. No- no problem… I think. Could you please stop crushing my spine." Krieg let go, letting Gaige fall back on her feet. "Thanks."

"Hey! Come on you two, we're burning daylight." Axton yelled for his Runner.

X-X-X

[Four Hours Later]

It was a quiet picturesque scene in the desert canyon as the sun set ever so slowly, bringing the day to night. The peace was suddenly broken as several Runners roared by… Along with the sounds of the Warren Zevon song, "Werewolves of London". Hati was riding on top of Kai and Gaige's Runner between the two with his tongue flapping in the wind. As the song would hit the howls Hati would joyfully howl in tune with it.

Gaige was in the turret recording Hati with her ECHO as well as sending a live feed to Maya who was driving the Runner behind them. "Oh my gosh, this is just so funny!" Maya said.

"I'm so posting this when I make my next ECHO." Gaige laughed as Hati howled again with the Aa-hooo.

It had been several hours since the convoy left Threehorns, and the four Runners were driving along a cliffside road. Axton was leading the group in his Runner, followed by Kai and Gaige, then Maya and Krieg, and finally Zer0 and Sal.

"So if I keep doing what I've been doing, I'll earn these badass points you two have been talking about?" Sal asked Kai over a separate ECHO.

"Basically, almost anything you do will get you badass points. In fact, Gaige made a program that helps us keep track of said achievements with your ECHO on her way here to Pandora. It's fucking awesome!"

"Really! Sweet!"

"Hey guys, I think we're here." Axton said over the comms.

Kai and Gaige both looked to see in the distance what looked like a junkyard with several structures and a large sign saying Ellie's standing next to it.

"Wow, didn't expect her to be up and running this soon." Kai said.

"This place looks like it been here since the big bang." Gaige said. Before Kai could respond, Scooter's voice cut in.

"Finally Made it to the Dust, huh? You guys have been off the ECHO fer hours, thought you mighta got brained or something. But you ain't, so yay…and stuff. " Scooter said.

"Geeez thanks for being so worried scooter. But anywho, we can see Ellie's place now." Axton said over the ECHO.

"Right on, I'll talk to y'all later, still working here. Oh and no messing with my sis!"

They all soon drove into the junkyard and dismounted their vehicles. It was then that they noticed that they seemed to have arrived during the middle of something as they could see a large woman with short light brown hair was over by the car crusher. She had on an orange shirt, workman overalls with a tool belt around her waist, and a pair of red sneakers.

Over in the crusher was a tied up marauder sitting in a Bandit Technical who was struggling to get out. "I should have killed your fat ass when I had the chance!" The tied up Marauder yelled.

"Sorry, what was that? You gotta speak up!" The women said as the gates on the machine closed. Only two seconds later the crusher slammed down causing a spray of blood and oil to shoot from the machine seams.

"Heh, that was awesome." The women said before turning around to find she had an audience. "Oh, howdy! I didn't see ya there! Name's Ellie. My brother Scooter told me you was comin'! Don't get many visitors around here, especially not ones so cute." She said looking at Gaige. "Love the outfit."

"Thanks." Gaige responded.

Ellie then turned to Kai. "Kai!" Kai suddenly tried to run but she grabbed him by the jacket collar and dragged him in for a hug. "Give me a hug." She said as the others could hear several of his bones cracking.

"Good to see you too Ellie. Now can you please stop hugging me, I can't feel my *crack* spine!"

"Oh, sorry!" Ellie said as she let go of Kai.

"So why did a girl like you set up shop way out here in the middle of nowhere?" Salvador asked.

"Well, I was staying in Sanctuary till a few months ago, but after several disagreements with my ma and brother, I decided to come out here and set up shop. After all, I'd rather be building awesome shit then serving drinks at her bar with these three toothpicks she calls waitresses." It was silent for several seconds as a random tumbleweed rolled past everyone.

. . . "MOXXI'S YOUR MOM!?" All the Vault Hunters (including Zer0) yelled out.

"Ha, that reaction never gets old, kind of reminds me when you found out." Ellie said to Kai.

"Ellie you had your fun with me, so please, let me enjoy this." Kai said with a cheeky grin as he snapped several pictures of everyone dumbstruck faces with his ECHO.

"What the!? KAI! You better delete those!" Gaige yelled.

"Nah, I think I'll upload them to your ECHO channel." Kai said causing Hati to snicker.

"What! Noooo! Give me that ECHO!" Gaige roared as she started chasing the rebel and his wolf as they started a game of keep away. Ellie and the rest of the Vault Hunters just watched with different levels of amusement.

"So is this normal now, because I've never seen Kai like this?" Ellie asked.

"I guess, it's been little arguments and banter here and there." Maya said as Gaige deployed DT which actually made Kai start running as Gaige ordered him to zap him. DT followed without question as lighting bolts started shooting out at Kai.

"So y'all are tryin' ta rescue your pal Roland from the dam, huh?"

"Yeah, but they open fire on anything outside." Axton said.

"I betcha could fool those Bloodshots if you drove up in one of their custom trucks."

"That actually the plan." Axton replied.

"Awesome I got one right over yonder that I… Crushed with the driver still inside." Ellie slow finished saying as her brain caught up with what she said.

"Seriously Ellie!?" Kai yelled as he was holding Gaige off with one arm. "Scooter already destroyed every Technical we've managed to capture and you just crush one without a second thought! We don't need you to start doing it too."

"My bad. Well, I got a vanilla technical in the shop and most of the parts we need. Just gotta doll it up with some more bandit trimmin's. spikes, blood, skulls, that kinda thing. You could probably scavenge that stuff from the bandit patrols around here."

Gaige suddenly grabs Kai outstretched arm with her robot arm and twisted it forcing him into a painful arm lock. "OW! OW! OW! OKAY, OKAY! UNCLE! UNCLE!" He said as he dropped his ECHO which Gaige quickly snagged. "Damn that hurt. So we just need to go back out and destroy a few bandits trucks, sounds easy enough. How long will it take you to get the Technical ready once you got the parts Ellie?"

"Weeeeell, about ten to twelve hours."

". . . Seriously? Will be here all night! It already six." Salvador yelled.

"I should also mention that my fast-travel station started updating about an hour ago. And yall know what that means." This earned a lot of groans from the more talkative members of the Vault Hunters.

"Great it'll take thirty hours at least for that thing to rest. Will have to drive back to the dam." Axton yelled in frustration.

"No sense in complaining about it now, let's go." Maya said.

"Actually, Kai could you maybe do another job for me." Ellie asked.

Kai turned back to Ellie with an inquisitive look. "That depends, what is it, how long will it take, and who or what do I have to kill?"

"Well it a payback job for my new assistant, Logging, he's over by the garage and can give you all the details ."

Kai thought about it and then shrugged. "Why not. Gaige should probably come too."

"And why are you volunteering me for a job?" Gaige said as she hands back his ECHO, which was cleared of the photos.

"Call it training, after all, you're still the greenest fighter here."

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Axton said.

"The rebel makes a point / training will help her grow stronger / it will straighten her resolve." Zer0 said.

"Well if Zer0 thinks it a good idea then I'm okay with going." Gaige said making Axton sigh in defeat.

"Oh come on! You listen to the ninja but not me!" Axton said as he jumped in his Runner.

As the others left, Kai and Gaige both walked over to the garage and saw a man in mostly black with a helmet and pilot oxygen mask on. "Would you be Logging?

The man looked at the teens and seemed to scuff at them. "Yeah, what's it to you."

"Ugh, Ellie said you have a job."

He seemed taken aback for a second. "Oh, my mistake man."

"No problem, so what the job?"

"I'm in the danger zone, man. My buddies at Goose's Roost kicked me outta their buzzard squad, and now they're celebratin' with a round of psycho head volleyball. I want you to steal their balls, and burn their net!"

Kai and Gaige both arch an eyebrow at this. "Okay… we'll just be going then." Kai said.

About thirty minutes later the young Vault Hunters were parked below the plateau where the bandit camp was located. "Any ideas on how to get up there, because DT can't float that high."

Kai looked around until he noticed something. A cheeky grin appeared on his face. "Oh, I may have an idea."

[ 2 minutes later ]

"KAI YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE!" Gaige screamed as their Runner raced up the side of a rock spire while Kai was laughing. Just before the end of the spire, Kai hit the engine booster which rocketed the car off the edge. Gaige was screaming at the top of her lungs as they fell towards the plateau. Several seconds later they landed and bounced into the air again and then landed on top of one of the Buzzard launch towers that were scattered around the camp.

A woozy Gaige climbs out of the turret and slid off the side of the Runner. "I think I'm gonna hurl again."

"This is nothing, try jumping off a cliff while several Bandit Technicals chasing you, all the while their launching burning saw blades and explosive barrels at you." Kai said with a fond grin.

Before Gaige could retort the silo doors began to open only to suddenly halt as they got caught on the runner.

"Hey Squid Eyes! The door won't open." The teens heard someone yell below them.

"Then fix it already StinkLips!"

"But something is covering it!"

Kai motioned Gaige to pass him a grenade, quickly she pulled out a cryo grenade and tossed it to him as he pulled his Vladof Tesla. He quickly opened pulled both pins and dropped the grenades into the opening, then he quickly jumped off the silo as the teens run.

"Hey Squid Eyes, look, pineapples!"

"What's a pineapple!?"

A second later there was a large blast of fire, electricity, and ice that spewed from the top of the silo and also caused the already damage Runner to explode as well. "Why did you just do that!"

"That a Buzzard tower, those aircraft I was telling you about, they store them and launch them from there. So each one we destroy helps us out."

"Okay, but you also destroyed our ride." She said as she pointed to the now fiery scrap pile that was a Runner.

Before Kai could answer his ECHO activated. "You're in the camp?" Loggins asked.

"Yeah, we just blew up one of the Buzzard silos, some guys named Squid Eyes and Stinklip."

"HA HA! You really are a cowboy. Now snag those volleyballs and get some jet fuel!"

"Okay, how hard can it be to find a few Volleyballs and jet fuel on an airbase?" Gaige asked.

[20 Minutes later]

"YOU JUST HAD TO SAY IT GAIGE!" Kai yelled as another Buzzard barely missed them on a strafing run.

"OKAY, I GET IT ALREADY! GET DOWN!" Gaige yelled as she pulled Kai back by his jacket as several Torgue gyrojet rounds knife through the space he had occupied a second earlier, followed by machine gun fire.

"Thanks." He said as he got back up to look for the source of the fire. He saw a large buff shirtless guy with a crew cut, camo pants, rusted dog tags, and aviator sunglasses with a Torgue spinigun in hand, and a random Marauder next to him. Before either teen could shoot back a wooden wall next to them burst open as Hati in full battle mode flew out and tackled the shirtless dude to the ground with a snarl. Hati then viciously bite down on the man's throat and immediately pulled back, which completely ripped it apart in a spurt of blood. Before the Marauder next to him could react Hati attacked him. "Good boy Hati!" Kai yelled.

"DANGER ZOOOONE!" Yelled two Shirtless guys armed with large wrenches as they jumped over their cover. Kai immediately dropped his gun and activated his right Holo blade to block a wrench swung at him. Then in a swift motion, Kai brought his other arm up and around and activates his other blade just before he slices through the guys right arm.

The buff bandit screamed in terror for a moment until Kai twisted around and used his momentum to slash the guy's chest open, effectively killing him.

As for Gaige, her bandit had kicked her, knocking her assault rifle out her hands. She quickly recovered and threw a punch with her robot arm, however, the guy managed to not only dodge the attack, but quickly grabbed her arm effectively rendering her defenseless, and lifted her off the ground. "LET GO OF ME ASSHOLE! I SWEAR YOU'LL REGRET IT!" Gaige yelled as she tried punching with her right normal arm.

"Ha ha ha, that cute. She thinks she's tough, isn't that funny Dogman… Dogma-GA ACK, CAAA!" The guy gagged as a glowing blood-covered light blade shot out of his mouth. Gaige, who had been mostly desensitized by such scenes was still shocked by what just happened.

Kai step to the side while still having his blade jammed through the guy's neck, just left of the spine. "Ok, Mr… whatever your name is, I want you to let go of my friend or else you lose your head."

Immediately the guy dropped Gaige who fell to the ground. "Good." Kai suddenly twisted the blade a sharp ninety degrees as there was a sharp *CRACK* as the buff bandit's body went limp. Kai deactivates his blade which caused the body to just fall to the ground as he held his hand out to help Gaige. "You okay?"

"I just got to say, that was badass as hell… If not a little scary."

"Sorry about-" *BOOM* They both ducked as the Buzzard flew by again. A second later several more bandits started firing from the other side of the camp. Gaige picks up her Ol' Painful and started spraying red lasers at the remaining bandits. As Gaige was covering them Kai quickly opened his inventory and swapped out a weapon. When he closed it a Vladof rocket launcher appeared in his hands. He waited as the buzzard slowed to come back around for another pass. When it finally did Kai fired two rockets. The first missed, but the second one nailed its left engine and exploded, sending the Buzzard into a flat spin as it flew over. It eventually flew out of sight, but a resounding explosion told him that it had crashed and burned.

Before Kai could do anything else Gaige yelled."Out of grenades." He looked to see there were still three bandits hiding behind cover still. He pulled out a Tesla grenade and chucked it between the Bandits, a second later there was a pop as the grenade deployed as the three bandits were being fried where they stood. Two just fell over dead while the last one began to disintegrate until there was nothing left but his gun. Kai checked his HUDs minimap and saw there were no more enemies nearby. The only movement was Hati who was walking back to them.

"You good?" Kai asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." Gaige answered.

"You Know, I got to ask, but why didn't you use DT?"

"I already deployed him."

"So then where is he?"

[ Fifty Meters away and to Rob Zombie - Dragula (Start about 0:50) ]

"NO! NO! NO! AAAH!" A bandit screamed as DT slashed the guy's chest open with his claws. He then grabbed a nearby Psycho and ripped his head off before crushing it in his hand. DT then started spinning around rapidly with both his arms stretched out with his digistruct claws and diced several more Psycho's and bandits that had charged him.

[End song, back to the Teens]

"Don't know… So did we get them all?"

"DANGER ZOOONE!" Yelled a Buff Marauder as he ran from around a building, he was shooting wildly into the air with a Tediore pistol. Kai didn't even flinch to this as he whipped out his Jakob Leather Revolver and shot at the Marauder straight in the chest without looking and knocking the guy straight on his ass... Only the guy got back up three seconds later.

"He's not dead." Gaige said nonchalantly.

Kai looked at the guy in surprise. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He put both hands on the grip and unloaded the revolver into the guy, however, this didn't even finish the bandit off. "Oh for crying out loud." He picked up the Fast Talker he had dropped and unload about half of the mags into the guy before he finally went down.

"And you're back to sucking." Gaige said with a smirk causing Hati to snicker while Kai's ego seemed to deflate.

He pulled out the revolver again and looked it over. "It's just not the same." Kai said as he marked the weapon as trash and throw it back into his inventory.

"Why do you go through so may sidearms anyways?"

"I used to have an old two shot Jakob revolver before I got here which I had used for years. However I happened to leave it at the base before I left, so now I keep trying to find a replacement. However, nothing seems to fit. They're either too weak or to inaccurate for me." Kai said with a sigh. "Damn I miss that gun."

Just then their ECHO's came on as Loggins made his presence known. "Woah! You guys really splashed those suckers, yeah! Come on back!"

"Well, before we leave, I'm going to look around and collect some loot." Gaige said happily.

As Gaige went looking for any loot Kai just walked around to see if there was anything useful. As he passed by another set of shacks he noticed a red Dahl chest sitting between the buildings. He walked over to the chest and activated it, After several seconds the chest lid and various shelfs opened up. "Woah!" was all Kai could say. This quickly caught Gaige's attention.

"What? Did you find something?" She asked as she walked over.

"Yeah, you could say that." Kai said as she finally reached him.

"Well, what is- Woah." Gaige said as they both looked upon the chest content. While everything else was just green weapons, there was one item that stood out from the rest. A legendary laser, with all stock Tediore parts, minus the scope which was a Maliwan. It was painted a light forest green with a dull red trim with various writings on it. Finally, there was the classic white Tediore name painted on the side of the barrel in large letters. The stat card that came up identified it as a Min Min Lighter.

"That is so cool… What does it do?"

"I have absolutely no idea." Kai said as he picked it up. He pulled out a power cell and slapped it in to receive a slight hum from the weapon. "Okay, now we just need a target."

"DUCK, NOOOO!" They both looked to see a Psycho that they had seemed to miss as he seemed to be panicking near one of the shirtless dudes they had burned. "He was so young! Full of heart and passion for the skies above."

As he continued to monologue Kai shouldered the laser. "Well, that convenient."

"Wait!? You're not seriously considering blasting the guy when he's down like this!? He actually sounds more human than-"

Before she could finish the Psycho screamed. "WE STILL HAD TO DIVE BOMB THAT ORPHANAGE!"

Kai looked to Gaige. "You were-"

"Iretractmypreviousstatement!" She quickly cut him off.

Kai just shrugged and then fired. A light blue ball of energy flew out of the barrel… At a very underwhelming speed. Even the Psycho was able to see it and walk to the left to get out of it way. Of course, as it passed him it did let off several electrical arcs that hurt the Psycho and made him scream out "Ouchie-wowchies!" But the round just floated by bounced off a metal wall and flew several more meters until it popped in a small electrical burst.

Gaige looked to Kai and then to the lightly damaged psycho. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! THAT WAS SO PATHETIC IT MAKES CLAPTRAP LOOK LIKE A REAL THREAT!"

"Uh, Gaige, I hate to tell you this but Claptrap is a threat. An accident prone threat." Kai said.

"You know what I meant!" Gaige snapped back.

The bandit took this chance and started charging the Vault Hunters. "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M CHARGING AT YOU!"

Kai started firing as fast as he could, only to discover to his dismay that the weapon had an abysmal fire rate. After several shots the Kai realized it he wasn't doing jack, so as with any Tediore weapon, when in doubt, throw it. He threw the rifle with all his might and managed to peg the Psycho in the chest where it exploded in a large electrical burst. However, when it cleared it revealed that the Psycho was still standing. "TINGLY!"

The laser respawned in Kai's hand while Gaige just rolled her eyes and pulled out her Rogue Smuggler. With one quick well-aimed burst, two slugs were placed into the Psycho head, instantly killing him.

Kai looked at the Legendary weapon with disgust. "What a piece of fucking crap! It shoots slower than a slingshot, eats ammo like a starving pig, and can't even kill a single damn PSYCHO!" He yelled as tossed it with all his might with the reload function off. As Kai kept cursing out the designer, Hati decided to go retrieve the laser, as he knew Kai would regret wasting valu- . . . Semi-valuable parts.

After several minutes of looking the wolf found the weapon near the stone hill that the camp wrapped around. Only that wasn't the only thing he found. Letting out a long howl Hati grabbed both Kai and Gaige's attention, as they soon ran over. "Hey what is- oooh no. We are not keeping that piece of crap." Kai said pointing at the Min Min Lighter.

"I don't think that why he called us." Gaige said as she looked at what Hati was looking at. Kai turned to see a carved stone archway that leads into the rock face, it had ancient carvings that seemed to depict several battles. The teens glanced at each other and then back to the tunnel. "You go first." Gaige said.

"What?"

"You, go, first."

"What, afraid of the dark?" Kai asked mockingly.

"No, but I am weary of a spooky ancient tomb with Murphy knows what in inside."

"Who's Murphy?" Kai asked only for Gaige go just shrug. "But seriously, you have a floating killbot that can spawn out of your arm. Why would you be afraid?"

"Just go already!" Gaige said giving Kai a small shove. Kai quickly caught his balance, then slowly began treading into the tunnel with Gaige and Hati following. It went on for about fifty meters until they came to a circular ornate hull. Hati increased his power in order to light the room. There were even more etching in the stone walls which depicted warriors, kings, dragons, and more. They all walked in to get a better look, but when their feet touched the first step on the platform there was a flash.

When the group could see again they found lit torches on the wall, they could see the outer walls had several statues of old kings encircling the room. And in the middle of the room under a shaft of light was a stone pedestal that had a carved dragon with ruby eyes twisting around it. And sticking out of the top of the pedestal was a beautiful long sword with a gem-encrusted pommel.

"Woah." The teens said in tandem as they stared.

Without any other warning, a deep and ancient voice filled the room. "Who dares enter the Hull of Greatness. Home of the greatest weapon the world has ever known and forged by the great wizard council. Held by heroes and kings who-"

As the voice continued Kai quietly spoke up, "Well this is new."

"You've been saying that a lot today."

"It Pandora, there a new surprise around every corner."

"SILENCE! Do thou not seek the sword EXCALIBUR! The greatest weapon to ever be wielded by man! Capable of tearing any shield or armor asunder, to freeze all who touch it! To leave any. . . . Are you two even listening?" The voice asks as Kai was looking over the Laser rifle while Gaige had started cleaning out the sand between her robot fingers.

"Yeeeeah, as interesting as this sword sounds it just doesn't compare to a gun, or an AI companion. Plus, when it comes to melee Gaige has her super-strength robot arm and I have these." Kai active the hard light blade on his left hand.

"What!? How did you do that? I sense no magic in you."

"It's called technology, and anyone can use it with the right understanding." Gaige said.

. . . "This is all very strange."

"You do have to admit this whole situation is the strangest thing we've ever come across." Gaige said.

"Not for me."

"Really?" Gaige asked curiously. "Then what is?"

Kai took a thinking posture. "Well…"

X-X-X

-four months ago-

In the middle of nowhere, there was a cobbled-together outdoor amphitheater. On the stage where dozens of Psychos, Marauders, Psycho Midgets and a Goliath all dressed in costumes representing inanimate objects, such as feather duster, a wood clock, forks and knives, a candlestick, and the Goliath as a teapot. All of who were dancing and singing in tune.

"Be our guest"

"Be our guest"

"Our command is your request"

"It's ten years since we had anybody here"

"And we're obsessed"

"With your meal"

"With your ease"

"Yes, indeed, we aim to please"

"While the candlelight's still glowing"

"Let us help you"

"We'll keep going"

"Course by course"

"One by one"

"'Til you shout, enough, I'm done"

"Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest"

"Tonight you'll prop your feet up"

"But for now, let's eat up"

"Be our guest"

"Be our guest"

"Be our guest"

"Please, be our guest!"

All the bandits bunch up at the middle of the stage with the Psycho in the candlestick costume in the front.

At the top of a small hill facing the stage Reiss, Kai and Hati were all staring at the sight in front of them with different expressions. Kai was dumbstruck and had a visible twitch in his right eye. Reiss who actually had his helmet off and held under his right arm had a more focused look on his face. As for Hati, he seemed to be fairly happy as his tail was wagging so fast it left a glowing afterimage in its wake.

". . . I wonder where they got the costumes?" Reiss quietly ask just as Kai lost it.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?"

X-X-X

[BACK TO PRESENT]

Gaige and the voice were both quiet as Gaige stared at Kai.

. . . "Seriously!?/Seriously!?"

"I was just as surprised as you… If not more." Kai said.

"ENOUGH NONSENSE! Do thou not understand what is going on! Why are thou knights here if not for the great sword, the most powerful weapon on Earth!"

". . . Earth? Where on Pandora man." Kai said.

"I… Wait, Pandora?"

"Yeah, it's second most dangerous planet after Promithia." Gaige said stepping forward.

"But, but how? The chamber should have been teleported. . . OH, THAT SENILE BUFFOON! HE WAS DRUNK SPELLCASTING AGAIN! . . . I guess that explains why no one found this place for so long. What year is it anyway?"

"It's 2874." Kai stated.

"...Oh zounds. Give me a moment."

The teens waited for about a minute until the Voice spoke again. "This is inconceivable, the mystic aether is dark, I can't seem to contact any other great mystics… Wait, there a message here."

What sounded like an answering machine beep was suddenly heard as another voice filled the room."Hey guys, its me the Mystic supreme of the Mist. Anyways I'm just leaving this message to inform any guardians or sentient relics that me and the other wizards are leaving and going to the dimensional plains of Enoxis. Big party were having for a few thousand years. Vlapan is making his thousand-year drunk potion! If you can make it come along, as for you guys still guarding your items or what not… Well, good luck to you. Later~. Hey Duleas, how about I show you a "real" wand!" There was then the sound of a phone being cut off which was quickly followed by silence in the room for about a minute.

"Well, that was a dick move." Kai said with Gaige nodding in agreement.

"And I didn't need to hear that last part." Gaige said with a look of disgust.

"Actually this isn't that surprising. Those Wizards were always a bit loopy, and I've just spent the last TWO THOUSAND YEARS GUARDING A BLOODY SWORD THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS THANKS TO THEM!" After a few seconds, the voice gives a sigh. "Well, there's no one else I can detect, although I'm picking up something called the. . . ECHOnet?"

"Oh, that a large database that spans the six galaxies."

"Six galaxies? What's a galaxy?"

"Oh man, you've got a lot of catching up to do." Gaige said.

The next half hour consisted of the two teens give the voice a rundown of how to use the ECHOnet and a brief summary of human history over the last thousand years. "So let me get this straight. Humans have not only traveled to the stars but have also conquered six of these. . . Galaxies, and now fight wars with guns?"

"Yup." Gaige said.

"And you two are-"

"Badass Vault Hunters." Kai replied.

"Wait, what is a badass?"

"Someone or something that is insanely strong or powerful who also does really awesome feat's. Like killing a Psycho with their bare hands." Kai said.

"Snipping a large Bullymong off a cliffside." Gaige followed up.

"Walking away slowly as an explosion is going off behind you without looking back!"

"Oh classic! How about saying an epic one-liner before the kill like, "It's been revoked", or "Hasta la vista, baby!" Gaige said in an as masculine voice she could.

"Good one, what about fighting super evil villains bent on world domination or total destruction."

"I guess, but that can be a broad category. Plus it not explicitly needed."

"That true… But Handsome Jack does count for that in our case." Kai quickly retorted.

"Pfft, without question."

"Okay, okay, you've made your point. So you Vault Hunters are like knights in this day and age."

"The teens looked at each other for a few seconds till the looked back at the sword alter since that seemed to be the only thing to for them to look at when the voice talked.

"I guess you could say that, I mean we're both fighting against a form of evil to protect people. . . I guess you could say we do a little bit of good and a little bit of bad." Kai said. "Oh and none of that over the top chivalry crap. That not a thing anymore."

"Hmm, I see. And you go on these quests to find the Vaults?"

"As well as kill alien creatures, fight bandits, take down evil mega-corporations. That sort of stuff." Gaige said as Kai casually check his ECHO.

"Oh look at the time. Well, we better get going. We have to find a way back to our friends since our ride was destroyed."

"By your doing." Gaige muttered.

"Like we were going to get that Runner off of the silo anyways, let alone the cliff."

"Whatever, let's just go, I'm getting hungry."

"Wait! You are not even going to try and pull the sword? It's an excellent weapon." The voice said.

They looked back to the pedestal. "Why are you so interested in us trying to take the sword?" Kai asked.

"Because it's your destiny!"

. . .

"Uh, isn't thou at least interested in trying. . . To see if you are worthy?"

. . .

"Alright, fine! I'm basically trapped here, with nothing to do until someone worthy enough is able to pull the sword out of the stone. Then I can see what they do throughout their life until they died, and then the process repeats. It was enjoyable the first few times but after you've seen several great heroes become kings, or free their people, things get boring. Course, it the only thing I have so. . ."

"Ahh, boredom, our generation's mortal enemy." Kai said.

"Well, you do have access to the ECHOnet now, so that should keep you more entertained." Gaige added.

"I guess, but I still need to pass the great weapon on."

"And again were not interested in swords. I mean, why would we use one when we have guns that can shoot dozens of round per second or rifles that shoot fire lasers, lightning bolts, or acid." Kai said.

"Hmm… What of the weapon in your hand young sir."

Kai looked at the Min Min Lighter. "This thing, well it is technically classified as a legendary weapon, but from what we've seen it nothing but a piece of junk. Worst laser weapon ever."

"And you both desire one of these laser weapons?"

"It be cool." Gaige said.

"Hmm, let me see… Ah HA!"

There was a flash of light from the sword that blinded them for several seconds when they could finally see they found the sword replaced with a new weapon. The weapon still had a blade on it only now it looked like a machete. Going up from there the weapon had a Hyperion railgun design (All Hyperion parts) and had a metallic steel blue finish. It was also noticed that the barrel was giving off a cold mist. The biggest thing they both noticed was the orange rarity marker coming from the weapon. They both observed the weapon for several more seconds until Gaige shouted out. "I CALL DIBS!"

"I SAW IT FIRST!"

"YOU ALREADY GOT ONE!"

"THE MIN DOESN'T COUNT!" Kai yelled as they both pushed and shoved each other as they raced towards the weapon. Gaige gave Kai a shove with her robot arm forcing him out of the way.

"IT'S MINE NOW!" She was about to reach the top step when she felt a tug on her skirt, she immediately stopped and looked behind to see Hati holding the back of her skirt in his mouth. Gaige had to grab her belt to prevent it from falling. "Oh, that is SO LOW!" She yelled in anger as Kai walked past.

"Losers weepers."

Kai was close enough to now see the weapon card to see the weapon was named the Excalibastard. He grabbed the grip of the gun and gave it a good tug up. It didn't budge. He gave it another, and another, until finally, he was pulling it with both hands and all his might, yet it never gave. "What the hell, it did even budge an ACK!?" Kai yelled in surprise as Gaige shoved him aside.

"MY TURN! Leave it to a woman to get the job done." Gaige said as she rubbed her hands together before she grabbed it with her robot arm. She started pulling and as before nothing happened. This repeated several times until she finally tried to plant her feet on either side of the weapon and put her whole body into it. After several seconds of this her hands slipped and Gaige was launched back several meters on to the stone floor.

"Oww… What the hell mysterious voice!? Why can't we pull it out!"

"I was afraid of this. You both are not… I guess the term now would be Badass enough to pull the weapon out."

"Okay, Gaige I can understand since she only been at this for a month."

"HEY!"

"But how am I not badass enough. I've been fighting almost five years now! So what hell… actually, now that I think about it, we never got your name?"

"I am the Great Enchanted Frost Per-"

"AH, AH! No crazy titles!" Gaige butted in.

"Umm, I don't have such a name."

". . . Okay, we're just gonna call you. . . Sam." Gaige said.

"I don't know if-."

"Sam it is! Anyways, so why can't we pull the gun?" Kai asked.

"Originally the great weapon only the purest of heart remove it from the stone. Someone righteous and just, however with how thou described the world as it is today it was decided to… Change the requirements to one badass enough."

"Wait a minute, you decided to change the requirements or the weapon decided to?" Kai asked.

"The weapon has a pre-ordained directive to seek the purest being. In this case the purist badass."

"Soooo, we just need to get more badass. How hard can that be." Gaige said.

"Well, I've actually already prepared for that. I found this Badass points system in your ECHO device and have already repurposed it so anyone with this program will have all badass things they do automatically tracked. It should take about ten thousand badass points for either of you to pull the gun from the stone."

"Ten thousand, pfft! We're already three fourths the way there. That will be easy." Gaige said as Kai nodded in agreement. After Gaige had joined Sanctuary, the Teens had been racking up the point between each other so the score now stood at Gaige 7832, and Kai at 7841. With those numbers in mind the two teens were grinning in anticipation at the challenge. 'This is gonna be easy!/This is gonna be easy!' they both thought.

"About that… I've had to clear all your previous points."

"... YOU'VE WHAT/YOU'VE WHAT!?" They both yelled at the top of their lungs.

Gaige slowly slumped to her knees as she started to mumble, "My points… All of my points… Gone."

"WHAT THE HELL SAM! WHY WOULD YOU CLEAR OUR SCORE!

"Let me ask you, how did you acquire most of those points. Was it through honored combat, or child games." Both teens were silent at his accusation. "I rest my case. I will, however, give you each about two hundred points to start since you good sir and fair maiden did manage to find this place."

"Yaaaay/Yaaaay." The two teens lazily cheered.

"I'm sorry, but you both will have to prove your selves in order to hold the great weapon. So go forth and be as badass as you can. Now leave, I have a lot to do."

Gaige took this moment point towards the laser. "Now wait just a minute buster! I'm not leaving until you give me back all-." But before she could finish a great wind blasted the Vault Hunters as they were picked up and thrown from the chamber.

It was silent for a few moments until Sam sighed. "Well now that that's over, I need to make some calls."

The sound of a dial tone could be heard followed by a ringtone for several seconds till Sam got an answer. "Grand protector of the solar flame… Yes, it is I. . . no no, it's still under my guard for now. About that though, we may have a situation that the other guards might not be aware of."

Outside of the cave, the sound of screaming could be heard as both Teens and the wolf were thrown out of the cave before a large stone door came down and closes it shut. Gaige gets up and turns to the entrance. "ALL OF MY HATE! YOU HEAR ME! ALL OF IT!"

"Well, that was interesting." Kai said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "Well, we might as well head back." As he started to walk off.

"How? You blew up our ride, remember." Gaige said causing Kai to stop in his tracks. He just stood there for several seconds in thought as he glances around until his eyes settled on something on nearby causing him to slowly grin.

"I think I have an idea."

{Back at Ellie's Garage]

"See, I told you it would be easy to get the parts." Ellie said.

The five tired Vault Hunters glared at Eille as they were anything but happy with that statement as their Runners behind showed their troubles. Zer0's and Salvador Runner was riddled with bullet holes from front to back. Maya and Krieg's was scorched and had dozens of saw blades sticking out of it. Finally, Axton's Runner was a combination of the previous two and was on fire still.

"Yeah. Right. Easy as fucking pie." Axton said as his Runner exploded in a fireball behind him without his care. "Hey, where's Gaige and Kai?"

"Haven't gotten back yet."

"I talked with them a good bit ago. They finished up the job so they should have been back man." Loggins said as he picked through the parts.

"I knew she shouldn't have gone off with him." Axton mumbled. "Alright, let spawn a few new Runners and go look for them."

"Oh relax amigo. She's fine, she a tough kid." Sal said.

"Besides, the two might be having some alone time." Maya said with a sly smirk as she insinuated the thought, causing Axton to groan. It hadn't gone unnoticed by everyone that Axton had sort of developed a big brother relationship with Gaige. Of course, this made Axton a little dubious about her hanging out with Kai. And made it all the more fun for the others to tease him.

"Aw come on Ax, they're probably just looting the place." Sal said.

"I still say we go out and look for them."

Before the argument could continue the sound of an engine slowly started to fill the air. "BUZZARD!" Loggins yelled as he dropped the parts and pointed to a lone aircraft heading towards them.

The Vault Hunters all pulled out their guns and took aim, but then Zer0 yelled, "Hold it!" Everyone looked at him like he was crazy until they each began to hear something over the noise of the buzzard.

"Slow down already!"

"It's fine."

"Where are you going! Turn left!"

"Oi! No back seat driving!"

"I'm not in the back… Woah, woah, PULL UP! PULL UP!"

"SCATTER!" Axton yelled causing everyone to run just before the Buzzard hit the ground. It bounced and came down again and slide about fifteen meters cutting a deep rut in the ground before coming to a stop. Everyone looked at the downed aircraft as they heard movement.

"You did that on purpose!" Gaige yelled.

"We were fine." Kai said.

"Not the point! That's the second time today you've taken me on a batshit insane ride!" Gaige yelled as she walked out from behind the wreckage.

"Well you have to admit, it was fun and badass… And look we both got ten Badass points out of it." Showing the points on his ECHO.

"Where the hell have you been?" Axton inquired. "You both should have beaten us back here, and what's with the Buzzard!?"

"Kai crashed the Runner and blew it up along with a Buzzard tower. So we after we finished we stole this buzzard to get back. Oh and we also found this cave that contains a legendary weapon stuck in a stone and a disembodied voice told us that only a pure badass can pull out the weapon. So now we have to earn ten thousand Badass points in order to pull said weapon from the stone."

Everyone stared at them in suspicion. "I call stalker shit on that." Logging said as he said what everyone else was thinking.

"What, it's true!" Gaige said.

Axton just shook his head in frustration. "Screw it, let's just go eat. I've had a crazy enough day already and I don't need anymore." Axton said as he turned and walked away.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

[1 Hour Later]

Everyone had finally gotten something to eat and were now doing their own things. Maya was meditating, while Krieg kept an eye on her from a distance. Axton was somewhere setting up a hammock. Zer0 and Sal were cleaning their weapons. As for Kai, Gaige wasn't sure where he was. It took her about ten minutes to finally find him up on top of the roof of the garage. From what she could see, he had disassembled the Min Min Lighter and was attempting to understand it's mechanics.

"Hey."

Kai looked up in surprise until he realized who was there. "Oh hey, Gaige."

"What are you doing with that gun."

"Trying to get an understanding of how it works. I've have only managed to get my hands on a few lasers, so it's a weapon type that I have very little understanding of there inner workings." He said as Gaige took a seat against the wall next to him.

"I would have figured it would have been more than that." Gaige said.

"Ha, not really, the first time I got to take a crack at a laser was with my mentor when I was thirteen. Someone from unit four had managed to scavenge an early version of a Hyperion railgun laser. Anyways, we had started to work on it to see how it worked and if there was anything we could use from it. However, we barely got the access plate off before we accidentally crossed a capacitor with another wire and the damn thing started to overload the power pack. It would have blown up in our faces if Mr. Dixon hadn't chucked it out a window in time." He chuckled.

"Who's Mr. Dixon?"

"He was my mentor, the man taught me almost every I know about weapons smithing. He was also the one who built my Clementine, gave it to me as a gift." He said fondly as he picked up said rifle next to him.

"Sounds like you miss him."

"Yeah, he was like a grandfather in many ways… A grandfather who could shot a flea off the back of a running Skag at eight hundred meters."

"Daaaamn, I would have loved to see that... Did he also…" Gaige started to imply.

"Died during the attack on Polaris?" Kai finished as Gaige nodded. "No, he died several months before the razing of old age. He was one of the few that have actually been buried in the last ten years of the rebellion."

This caused Gaige to furrowed her brow as she thought about what he said. "Wait, I thought you said your mentor died during the crash landing here on Pandora, how could he have died then and before the attack on Polaris?"

"Oh, right. I sort of had two mentors. There was first, Dixon who had taught me everything I know about weapons, and cared for me as my mom continued to support the rebels. Then there was Col. Ryet who trained me as a fighter and I would often accompany him out into the field."

"Soooo, one was like your teacher and the other a drill instructor?"

Kai was silent for several seconds as he stopped working on the laser. "Drill instructor would be an understatement for Ryet, but yeah. That's basically it."

"What about the rest of your family?"

Kai sat his rifle down and lend back against the wall as he stared up into the night sky. "All dead, I never really knew my grandparents but from what mom told me neither side seem to like the other. I also had an aunt and uncle with a little cousin, she was about five or six years younger than me. . . Unfortunately, we believe they were all killed on Anchorage Four, one of several orbital mining platforms Hyperion attacked and destroyed early on."

"And your parents? How did they..."

"Die? Well as I've told you, my dad died when I was nine. He… He was part of the initial group of protestors that fought for our right to stay independent. He was always like that, a firm believer in freedom and personal rights. However the Hyperion commander station there got fed up with the locals protest and ordered his troops to open fire on them. He stated that is was in defense against aggressive elements of our populace." He said with disdain. "My mom was working at a lab that was developing hard light technology, she made Hati at that lab."

"Speaking of, where is that wolf?" Gaige asked.

X-X-X

[ Playing: "Bodies" by Drowning Pool ]

In the music blasted garage below Ellie was laying underneath the Truck she was building while Hati was sitting next to a nearby toolbox.

"Socket wrench."

Hati grabs a wrench out of a toolbox by him with his jaw and passed it to Ellie waiting hand.

Ellie grabbed it and immediately sounds of tool work could be heard.

"Torch." *THOOOOOO*

"Hyperspanner." *BZZZZZT, TINK*

"Baloney sandwich."

Hati ran over to a nearby cooler and knocked the lid off with his nose. He then grabbed a wrapped parcel out if it and ran it back to Ellies waiting hand was. The sounds of her gobbling down the sandwich for several second until a resounding belch came from beneath the truck. "That was awesome. Thanks boy."

WOOF*

X-X-X

"Okay… Anyways, you were saying about your mom."

"Right, well she was part of a hard light research team that was studying practical uses for the technology. As I stated before she developed Hati as a pet for me, she pitched it to her boss as "the perfect pet for every child as it doesn't eat, doesn't shed, and doesn't pee or poop." The company saw the marketing potential as the kid got a pet, and parents don't end up with a mess or allergies."

"That actually sounds like a good idea."

"Of course after the massacre, my mom began to make Hati more combat capable as a way to protect me. During one of the early test run several Hyperion goons tried to seize the lab. . . That mutt killed seven armed and trained Hyperion soldiers in a minute. So since then she and her colleagues have been building combat holograms for our troops. Most were just basic wolves, copies based on Hati's core program, but she made all kinds custom variants, Lions, bears, snakes, gorillas. . . Even a dragon." He muttered the last part.

"And she also died during the attack… Are you sure, maybe she-"

"No… I know she did."

"How can you be sure though?"

Kai looked Gaige straight in the eyes. "Because I saw her dying." Kai said.

~Flashback - 5 months before.-

Ryet and Kai were staring out the window at the planet bellow as they watched the explosions die down leaving a purple pinkish cloud of unknown gas spread across the surface of the planet at each impact site. "What the hell?! Is that a bioweapon?" Kai asked the old warrior.

"I don't think so." Ryet muttered.

Before Kai could ask there was a beep for the comm system. "Shadow Star, come in. Repeat, Shadow Star come in. Kai are you there?" Came a female voice that Kai immediately recognized.

"Mom!? Mom, what your stats, what going on down there?"

An image appeared on the screen of a woman who appeared to be in her early fifties. She had shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes. From what they could see she was wearing an old lab coat with a name tag that said Linda on it. "It's a radiation weapon, scanners are going crazy and levels are continuing to rise."

"Are you safe? Can you get to the bunker?"

"It wouldn't matter, the bunker wasn't designed for this. And the radiation is already close to lethal levels and still rising! At this rate, we will only have minutes left, maybe even less."

"Mom, just hang on, we're coming to get you!" Kai said with a panicked voice.

"NO!" Linda cut him off.

"But-"

"Ryet! As a mother, I order you to get my son away from here and keep him safe."

Ryet just stared at the screen for several seconds until he gave a nod and turned to the flight controls. "Of course Linda, warming the hyperdrive."

"Ryet, what are you doing!? We need to go help them!" Kai yelled as he turned to the man.

"And what would we do boy!" Ryet said, not looking back to You heard her, at the rate the radiation levels are rising, she be dead within the hour, we can't go back!"

"That insane! Do you just expect me to abandon her and everyone!"

Ryet continue to typing on the screen as he started plotting a hyperspace jump. "Colonel we can't just run!" Kai yelled as he moved to shutdown the hyperdrive. The next second Kai felt a fist contact his face which sent him flying to the back of the ship thanks to the low gravity. Kai rubbed his jaw only to look up and see Ryet standing over him with a cold glare.

"THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO! THAT IS ALL WE CAN DO! IF WE GO BACK NOW, WE WILL DIE! IF WE GO BACK THEN THERE NO ONE TO CARRY ON POLARIS'S MEMORY! IF WE GO BACK THEN HYPERION WINS AND EVERYONE WHO DIES WILL BE FORGOTTEN BY ALL THE GALAXIES!" Ryet yelled. EVEN IF WE WENT RIGHT NOW, WE WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH FUEL FOR ANOTHER EXIT BURN.

"But!"

"Kai." He looked over to the screen his mom was on. "It's already too late anyways. Radiation levels have already passed the lethal levels and are still rapidly raising." she said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Kai got up and stared at his mom. "But… mom."

"It's fine Kai. I've watched you grow up from my little baby into a fine man. As long as your safe, I can accept *cough* my fate." She started coughing some more and covered her mouth with a rag. When she pulled it away, everyone could see blood on it.

"Mom…" As this happens the ship sensors gave off an alert which Ryet immediately went to look at. "Der'mo, the cruiser has spotted us and are trying to move into weapons range!"

As Ryet quickly got back to preparing for the jump. Linda finally stopped coughing. "Listen to Ryet Kai, he'll know what to do and how to stay safe. And Hati, I know you're listening, so I want you to watch my boy *cough, cough* for me."

"Mom." Kai could tell that she was now really starting to feel the effects of the radiation on her body. But even with the growing pain, his mother still put on a caring motherly smile. Your father would be proud of you. Hm, you actually look just like him."

"Cruiser is attempting to get a lock on us, thirty seconds to jump!" Ryet yelled.

Kai was barely keeping it together at this point. "Mo-mom please, don't give up. There got to be something you can do. Modify a shield, uh grab one of the old Hyperion space suits the supply center has. Just don't leave me."

Coughing* "Kai, It's okay. You are more than ready for this. Just live a good life, that's *cough* all I ask… I love you Kai."

"Mom!" Before he could say anything else, the ship made the jump into hyperspace. This simultaneously cut off the connection leaving Kai staring at a blank screen. Slowly Kai slumped to the ground where he sat for several minutes. After a moment he finally yelled out as he punched the floor.

~Flashback Over~

"Damn… That's… I really don't know what to say about that." Gaige said as she was now sitting next to Kai and was leaning her head into his left shoulder which Kai only just realized to his shock at her closeness. "How did you get over that?"

"Downed half a bottle of vodka, and knocked my ass into a three-day blackout. Then when we stopped for refueling at a way station I got most of my anger out by getting into a large brawl with a gang of space pirates."

Gaige lifted her head and just stared at him for several seconds. "That is the stupidest story you've ever come up with."

"It's true." Kai opened a pocket and fished out a small tin and opened it. inside were several old photos, he quickly pulled one out and handed it to Gaige. She gingerly took it and looked at it. To her shock, it was a selfie of an old man with a scar who looked happy yet still had that look that told her don't fuck with me or I'll shove something nasty somewhere that you won't like. Gaige guessed that this was Ryet but her attention was quickly drawn to what was behind him. There was a large dog pile of pirates all mangled and bruised black and blue. Laying at top of the pile was an equally bruised Kai who looked as if he would blackout any second. But even so, it appeared that he had enough strength to lift his head, smile and raise one triumphant fist in the air. Sitting next to him was Hati who had what appeared to be a bloody peg leg in his mouth.

Gaige stared at the photo for several more seconds. "What the actual fuck!?" She yelled.

"Language!" They both heard Axton yelled from below.

Gaige just ignored it and turn back to Kai. "So you took on over two dozen pirates by yourself?"

Kai rubbed the back of his head as he looked the other way since Gaige had moved her face close to his own. A little too close for comfort. "I was pissed. Besides, Hati took half of them." He said nervously as he put the photos away. He then sighed and lend back to stare up into the night sky. " Of course I didn't get everything out until recently."

"You mean when I beat the snot out of you and you cried like a baby." Gaige asked teasingly.

"Was there a reason why you came up here or was it to just screw with me?" Kai retorted with a hint of annoyance.

"Haha, sorry." Gaige smiled before she looked down. "I actually came to tell thanks for saving me. Twice today in fact."

"It was nothing, besides you saved me from getting nailed in the head by a gyro jet. Even with shields on, that would have sucked!"

"I don't know, that might have been an improvement." Gaige jabbed again with a grin.

"Screw you cyborg." Kai said half-heartedly which caused Gaige to laugh.

"Cyborg, really? Is that the best you got wolf boy." Gaige said.

"Now who's being unoriginal." Kai mumbled.

The teens soon lapsed into silence as Kai finished reassembling the Min Min Lighter. Once he finished he leaned back to watch the sky as Gaige eventually leans her head back on to his shoulder as they both stared into the night sky.

After several minutes of silence Kai spoke up. "Hey, Gaige."

"Yeah."

"You're smart and all, so I was wondering. When do you think that matter cloud that Matchbox left is gonna disappear?" Kai asked.

"Honestly, if it didn't dissipate by now, I don't think it ever will." Gaige answered as they both stared up at the newly formed yet oddly bird of prey shaped nebula that now hung in the sky above them.

"Well, at least it's cooler than that damn space station." Kai said as the teens resigned to watch the stars for the evening.

X-X-X

Mini Torgue adventure!

Chapter 1

In the middle of space, a massive space truck with three connected trailers flew through the void of space. The truck section had a typical truck layout, only three times bigger and the front hood and grill had what looked like the front end of a P-51 mashed into it. In place of the wheels were a small set of wings with over under engines mounted on the ends. Painted on the side of it polished steel and checker pattern trimmed hull were the words "The Torgue-anought"

In the cab, was Mister Torgue who was looking over a fold up star map. "Uh, Mister Torgue?"

Mister Torgue looked over to the voice which belongs to a bullet themed mascot sitting in the passenger seat, Billy the Bullet. "Yes, Billy?"

"I'm, just wondering. Uh, why did you bring me along?" Billy hesitently asked as he fiddled with his gloved fingers nervously.

"Because Billy, you are a new member of the Torgue corporation, which means you need to learn about what we do."

It was silent for several seconds. "Ugh, which is?"

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS! BLOW F*CK*NG SH*T UP, DOING AWESOME AS, AND BEING AS F*CK*NG BADASS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE AND BEYOND! Case and point, see that satellite over there." He pointed to a satellite that was randomly floating in space.

"Umm, yes?"

"WELL, THIS!" He yelled as he slammed his fist on a comically large button. The next second the headlights pop up and two missiles fired out which quickly flew towards the satellite. The impact resulted in a large fiery explosion that completely vaporized the satellite. "WAAAAHOOO! THAT WAS BADASS AND AWESOME!"

"You just blew up a sensor satellite! The local system needs that to watch for plasma storms!"

"Who cares, it not like anything important flys through here."

[ At that same moment ]

A random star transport was flying through the next sector over. Inside was a random no-name pilot who didn't have a care in the world. "Geewilliker! I love my job of transporting Boy band memorabilia to the revving masses of teenage girls. Oh, I better check the local sensor data from the satellite, and make sure it safe to go through here." He pulls up a screen only to see an indicator to come up showing that there was no signal from the satellite. "Hmm, I do not appear to be receiving any data from the satellite. This is very strange. . . Oh well, it's probably nothing. Now let's get these Boy band shirts and posters to those waiting hormonal driven teens."

Several seconds later a plasma storm struck the transport causing it to explode into a million fine particles, leaving nothing but a single Synced-Up t-shirt, and a pair of fuzzy dice.

[ Back to The Torgue-anought ]

"So then where are we going?" Billy asked

"Glad you asked Billy!"

"Um, my name isn't actually Billy sir."

"Whatever! I sensed a massive amount of badassery! We are going to that source of Badassery for it calls to me!"

"And where would that be?"

"I DON'T F*CKING KNOW!" Mister Torgue yelled before going back to looking over the map.

Billy just stared at Torgue for a moment until his ECHO beep, Billy took a look at it. "Huh, Space Cadet… Ten Badass points for traveling one whole lightyear. Awesome." Suddenly Billy was thrown forward into the window as the ship pulled a full stop. "...Ow." Billy was then suddenly peeled off of the window and tossed back into his seat.

"Repeat what you just said, because it sounded F*CKING AWESOME!" Torgue yelled into Billy's face.

"Uh, I got ten Badass points."

Mister Torgue leaned into Billy's face. "Tell me more."

[ A ten-minute explanation later ]

"So this kid Gaige, who built a floating anti-bully robot, cut off her own arm, then built a robotic replacement arm that also stores this robot, created a program to track your Badass rank and now after a sudden update it has over a thousand new challenges, but also auto tracks your achievements?" Torgue asked.

"Umm, yes."

"THAT IS AWESOME! I want to meet this little badass!"

"Well good luck with that, after accidentally killing her classmate she escaped and ran away to Pandora."

Torgue stared at the bullet themed mascot. "Uh, what?" Torgue continued to stare until he suddenly cried out, making Billy jump in surprise.

"I'M SO F*CKING STUPID!"

"What?"

"I should have thought of it before! That means we need to get our *ss to the single most badass place in all of the six galaxies!" Torgue said as he shifted the ship back into gear.

"Wait, you don't mean!?"

"That right! Next stop, PANDORA!" He yelled as he slammed the gas and the space truck rocketed back into the stars.

X-X-X

-Link Re-establish-

Back in the SOL control room.

(Kilo8) And that concludes another exciting Chapter. Tell me, what did you guys think.

(Gaige) Not very action-packed, but it did have a decent bit of world-building.

(Kilo8) Only decent, Gaige, I'm hurt.

(Torgue) It was awesome how Kai f*cking killed those guys. Also, I'M GETTING F*CKING MINI-SERIES!

(Gaige) You making a mini-series that was a good idea?

(Kilo8) Don't worry. It all part of the plan. Now then I'd first like to once again thank

(Gaige) Well, do we have any questions to answer?

(Kilo8) Sadly no, but we do have a few polls set up.

(Gaige) Really. That different.

(Kilo8) Yup, the first is who do you guys think should get to claim the Excalibasterd! Second is which award would you guys like to see from the A.I. core mission, the 1340 Shotgun, or the 1340 Shield. the question here is which one would you guys prefer. Finally, this is a far-off one, Zafords or Hodunks. So place your votes, everyone.

(Torgue) I vote for the gun.

(Gaige) I'm kind of split on this the 1340 shotgun is cool, but the shield is also kind of funny. Who getting it anyways?

(Kilo8) Ah ah ah. That a surprise, so you'll have to just wait and see. Now then continuing on, I'd like to once again thank Redemption's Avenger for Beta reading as well as our newest Beta reader alexyo3. Also, we've finally hit over a hundred favorites, shout out to TaNgSaNg2001 who has claimed the hundredth spot!

Mr. Torgue and Gaige both cheer in celebration!

Well, that basically wraps things up for this chapter. Remember to... Wait, where Tina?

The others looked all look around and then behind them, only to find a large pile of fireworks. A note on one large rocket read Happy Tinapendence Day! It was then the others noticed a lite fuse about to set it all off.

(Kilo8) . . . Awww shit.

Outside of the station rockets and shells started flying out of every opening in the station, causing a storm of multicolored flares and burst to go off in every which way. All the while Tina was several hundred meters from the station in a pink child-sized space suit and riding on the back of a Tauntaun in a spacesuit as it was standing on an asteroid.

(Tina) HA HA HA! HAPPY TINAPENDENCE DAY SUCKERS!

(Mr. Fuzzybutt) AAAAAAUH.

(Tina [In her British accent]) Agreed Mr. Fuzzybutt, it was epic. Thank you all for watching today and we hope to see you back for the next thrilling~ adventure of Rebel Anarchy. Please remember to follow and leave plenty of comments and reviews. So till next time friendo's, LATER! RIDE LIKE THE WIND FUZZYBUTT!

Mr. Fuzzybutt gave a cry and jumped off the asteroid as they both started flying off through space.

(Tina) TO INFINITY AND BEYOOOOOOND!

-ECHO Review Log Terminated-