Genre: Romance/Angst

Rating: K+ (for slight language)

Pairings: Jack O'Neill/Samantha Carter

Summary: Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter recall their fateful meeting… And ponder on their forbidden love…

Other: A one shot. Complete.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1.

First Impressions

My first impression of him…?

My first impression of her…

Fit.

A woman!

Tall, well built… Hm, yeah, pretty attractive.

A hot woman at that!

A little old for me, I told that to myself instantly.

Young… yeah, young. But at the time, I… um… Sara…

But still, very fit! Then I realised he was going to be, well, already was, my CO.

I don't think of Sara anymore though.

That's when I saw the rest of the men in the room.

I don't think we took well to her at first…

I knew they were going to be absolute assholes.

Fine, I admit, I didn't like her at all when I realised she was a scientist!

I was pretty defensive…

That's when I realised she had some spunk!

But even though he pissed me off, he had this… really charming smile.

I like spunk.

One of the best words to describe that man. Charming.

Noticed she looked good in her uniform…

I guess he stole my heart the moment I met him.

Not that I was looking. The meeting was all I had on my mind!

Eyes that remind you of melted chocolate…

Her most defining feature? Her crystal blue eyes.

Did I mention that charming smile of his?

And blonde… like Sara.

Even though he was really annoying in that meeting, I found myself liking him a lot.

I realised she was clever immediately. Typical scientists…

He's attractive, not just in appearance, but in personality too.

But then again, a pretty and nice scientist! You don't see many of them! (That good-for-nothing Felger is proof of that that!)

I think people generally like and trust him... I did, anyway.

Inside of me, I was impressed with her. Female, part of the military and a damn clever scientist!

He has courage beyond that of any guy I've ever met.

God yeah, she was different.

He would fight for what he believed in, even if that meant going against General Hammond's orders.

She has a fantastic fighting spirit… I've never seen a woman so…

To be honest, on first glance, he looked so… strict, so serious.

Amazing. Yeah, amazing. That's a good word.

Ironically, he's barely strict, and not particular serious. I enjoy his jokes… even if some of them are about me!

She's dedicated; it was obvious when I met her.

He would willingly sacrifice himself for anyone on our team.

But she also has this emotional side of her… A side not many of us have seen because she hides it so well.

He's a just and fair man.

Damnit, the military's rules really mess up lives.

I've lost count of how many times he's saved my life, and Teal'c's and Daniel's. Jonas, those people out there… Not to mention the world… worlds, even!

I hate it. I do.

What would this world be without him?

But I can't forget about the billions of lives out there.

Me? I think I'd die…

They depend on us… on me.

I hate having to serve under the man I love, knowing nothing can ever come out of it, but…

Not just this world, but those other planets out there, with tons and tons of people and animals and plants.

The world is more important than me.

How do I really feel about her?

I…

I love her.

I love him.

But I'd probably have to die first before I could actually do anything about it.

It's painful. But I'd rather have him by my side, living, than to lose him.

There are times when I step into that Stargate, worrying like hell.

What if he dies out there again?

I can't stand to see her injured… especially not for me, under my command.

I don't think I could… survive. I've almost lost him too many times!

Will I ever do anything? Probably not.

It's forbidden.

Untouched…

But I won't stop loving him…

Moving on isn't as easy as I thought it would be.

I tried to love someone else…

I didn't think she'd be this much trouble! I didn't realise I'd fall for someone this badly again...

God, almost ended up marrying the guy…

When I learned she was gonna get herself hitched to that… cop…

I shouldn't have done that to Pete. It was unfair of me.

I was angry… very angry. And worried.

And to him too…

But I guess I can't talk. I was dating Kerry…

But he moved on too.

I may have hurt her feelings without realising…

I hurt him.

I don't wanna hurt her.

I don't ever want to do that again.

She's precious to me.

I don't blame him… us… for not pursuing anything.

More than anyone else in the world.

At least I know how he feels… and he knows my emotions too.

Even though the world has to come before her.

I don't care as long as he stays with me… always.

I made her a promise. That I would always be with her.

It keeps me going.

And I will keep it.

Maybe we'll never know what would be like if we were… together.

I would die for her.

But maybe…

I'm glad the President sees that.

We've done so much for the SGC.

They've gotta make an exception.

Saved so many lives…

For crying out loud, they owe us it!

Almost died ourselves…

It's their fault for making us meet in the first place!

This would have never happened if the Stargate had never existed…

It was… fate.

That day, in the meeting room…

Yeah… fate put us together.

I don't regret ever meeting him though.

Thank god for fate.

When he announced he was leaving for Washington…

I miss her.

I knew I was going to hurt a little… fine, a lot.

I want to see her more… like we used to.

I missed him… I still do.

Thank heavens for the telephone and email!

I treasure every moment with him.

All those memories we share…

I remember in Antarctica… How I had to sleep on him to keep him warm… Almost lost him.

Edora… she fought so hard for me… Never gave up.

All those alternate realities, they point to what should be…

I owe her so much.

I want him so much.

From that fateful day…

That we met…

My first impressions of her weren't wrong.

He was almost the way I thought he would be.

A beautiful woman.

An amazing man.

That was my first impression.

- END -

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please review!

Chibito