Just the Way You Are
By Cybra
A/N: Set before, during, and post "Temptation". Sort of in honor of the upcoming Season 3.
Disclaimer: Code Lyoko belongs to the French.
Jeremy slid the glasses off of his face and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Too many returns to the past. All necessary, but still too many. XANA was getting strong while they remained the same.
Him especially. He couldn't go to gym class and exercise his brain in preparation for the next attack. Half of his current subjects were useless. And he was just so tired all of the time…
Tap…tap…tap…The clicking of keys had gotten slower over the past few hours. Not so long ago, Aelita would've appeared on the screen to urge him to go to bed, but now she dreamed somewhere nearby in her own bed.
The latest section of Franz Hopper's diary finally finished decoding. Jeremy opened a file.
Suddenly, all those returns to the past had an advantage for them, too.
He studied the plans for the neuronal headset. He could build it. He could use some of his old animatronics for parts. Kiwi2 wasn't exactly a hot commodity. It would be so simple…
No. No, the others would never let him do it.
He could practically hear Aelita: "I like you just the way you are."
'Just the way I am, I can't keep up!' he silently wailed. 'I can't help you!'
But he gave in to her that day. And the day after that. And the day after that.
However, he started disassembling Kiwi2 a week later.
The first time he activated the headset was such a rush.
For a few moments, he'd been hyper aware of everything as his brain processed all of the data his senses gave it at incredible speed. It had slowed down a bit after that initial rush, but his mind devoured information at a rate he couldn't have hoped for before.
And all the while, he knew that this was only the beginning.
He was going to find Aelita's antivirus in no time.
Jeremy shocked himself when he got so angry at Aelita that he had to walk away to cool down. He'd never gotten that mad at her before. Odd, yes. Ulrich and Yumi, maybe. Aelita, never.
She'd been concerned about his health since he'd skipped lunch after skipping breakfast already along with lunch and dinner yesterday. He'd gotten defensive, telling her he just wasn't hungry.
"You haven't been hungry a lot lately," she pointed out.
"Look, I've just been busy working on your antivirus! You know how I get when I'm coding, so stop worrying about it!" And then he'd walked away.
He was beginning to suspect the neuronal headset had some unforeseen side effects. He'd used it four times in two weeks.
But he was getting close. He couldn't stop now.
He looked like hell, and he knew it.
He acted like a monster, too. He was constantly irritable and snappish. The slightest offense set his teeth on edge. Suddenly, he was quick to bite and slow to bark.
Relief came in two forms. First was isolation. Nobody could bother him while he worked with the code to get rid of XANA forever. Then everything would be okay, and Aelita would be free.
The second was the temporary relief the neuronal headset gave. The rush blocked out all irritants. It was soothing in a strange, adrenaline-driven way.
So this was what addiction felt like.
Sleep, however, offered no comfort. Dreams of walking down long white hallways with an encroaching darkness trying to pull him away from a white light constantly haunted his nights.
Worst of all, the white hallways were starting to invade his days.
"Return to the past now."
It wasn't the soothing rush this time.
It was like being slammed from behind by a massive wave that you hadn't seen coming. He was thrown mentally head over heels, tumbling end over end in the "wake" of the neuronal headsets effect.
He didn't even know that his body had collapsed to the floor as he found himself in a white hallway, walking towards a bright light.
It had been a long month. The last shattered pieces of the headset had been shipped out with the garbage ages ago. His friends had enforced a reasonably light work schedule while he recovered.
He was relieved to feel his mood begin to lighten at last. However, he felt a mild sorrow that his mind was slowing down.
"I missed you," Aelita told him softly.
He blinked in surprise. "I never went anywhere."
"You weren't you. It was like having someone else who looked like you but wasn't you. So I missed the old you."
He felt humbled. "I did it for you."
She gazed curiously at him.
"I thought…I could make myself smarter…finish the antivirus faster…"
"Oh, Jeremy…" she sighed. "I like you—"
"I know, I know. Just the way I am. But I'm just…not enough."
"Yes, you are. Which is why XANA has to keep resorting to dirty tricks: It's scared of you." She took his hands. "So don't you ever change, Jeremy. You're perfect just the way you are."