Mary - Sarah McLachlan

A/N: For those who are reading my other fics Drowning in Freedom, Push, and Improbabilities chapters are on their way… I am having the most unbelievable case of writers block, and the fact that I have absolutely no time between training and everything else in my life. HOWEVER! I am creating time, 10 minute writing intervals daily, should help things. Not to mention that I'm taking quotes and references down whenever I watch a movie to use in my fics. (Nerd – yes I know). In the mean time, enjoy this chapter in my Song Fic collection.

Summary: Tristin was stunned to say the least. Never would he have ever expected for the Bag-Boy to be his Mary's ex. The way his mind had it, the two were going to get married, move in next door to him and flaunt it for the rest of his life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. I do not own Sarah McLachlan or anything she produces. I do however own a very large and very strange imagination… But I'm willing to share.

Pairing: If the Title isn't a dead give away, I'll let you in on a secret… psst. It's a Trory!

Rating: PG - PG13 (Nothing much, just some fluff and some Dean bashing)

Tristin DuGrey had had it with lusting over Rory Gilmore. There was something wrong with her. She was crazy, insane. No sane person would lust over an insane person, right?

Exactly. No sane person would turn down Tristin DuGrey. No sane person would publicly declare their hate for him. No sane person would run away after the most incredible kiss ever experienced by mankind. Certainly not; No sane person would ever do that. And no sane person would still want someone after being victim to all of the aforementioned.

So what did that make him? Cracked? Psychotic? Mental? Tristin for the life of him could not understand why he still hungered for his Mary.

However, seeing her step off her bus was like slamming his head into a brick wall. Suddenly he was flooded with memories of his Mary biting her bottom lip in nervousness, walking the halls while reading her book, zoning out with her music and a good novel at lunch, comforting him after his breakup with Summer. Rory Gilmore was quite possibly the last and only decent person at Chilton Prep, and Tristin within five minutes of knowing her had ruined any chance he ever had at a relationship.

Mary walks
Down to the water's edge

Sometimes he wondered if their banter was just her being to polite to tell him to shove it up his – … Rory Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Rory Gilmore! People would think he was nuts if they could get inside his head for just one moment. He didn't have a thought that didn't come back to her. Math test – Rory would have gotten that question; Date with Cissy – Wish it were Rory; Chicken for dinner – Rory would have a burger; it was as if he had no thought that was his own!

TRISTIN! His mind yelled. FOCUS! Right. Focus… That's what he needed to do. Where was Rory right now?

Tristin's eyes followed her coffee brown hair towards, then through the front doors of Chilton. Unconsciously he began to follow, his mind thinking not for the first time how suited it was that Rory with a coffee addiction, had coffee brown hair.

Before he knew any better he found himself leaning up against the locker beside hers.

"Hey Mary," the words were dripping with suggestion. How could he be such a pig, while she sat there in all her angelic beauty?

"Please Tristin, could we just, not do this now," she asked, tactfully hiding her head in her locker.

And there she hangs her head
To find herself faded

Hearing the sadness in her voice, he instantly went onto alert.

"Hey," He said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "You alright?"

Rory finished putting her books into her bag. Taking a deep breath she closed her locker, and slowly spun to look at Tristin.


A shadow of what she once was

"I'll kill him!" He shouted, gaining the stares of more than just a few of the passing students.

"Tristin," Rory hissed.

"It was him wasn't it?"

"Who, that did what?" she asked, starting to get angry. "What are you talking about?"

"Rory, you're crying," Tristin said, his heart torn between the need to hurt someone for hurting her, and the need to wrap his arms around her and tell her it will be alright.

"No I'm not," she said stubbornly wiping a tear from her eye.

"What's this about?" Tristin asked gently, pushing down his anger, and trying a more subtle approach.

"In how many languages can you say it's none of your business?" Her words striking up a memory for Tristin, helped to reassure his mind that it was about her 'Bag-Boy'

"All of them, I think." Tristin said, trying to lighten the mood. "Come on Ror, tell me what wrong."

"Hey, you called me by my real name," Rory said, realizing just then that he wasn't using her nick name. While the name 'Mary' no long peeved her, she knew that Tristin was being serious, because he always called her Mary unless he was. "Well you'll take pleasure to know that Dean and I just broke up."

She said 'how long have I been sleeping

Tristin was stunned to say the least. He suspected that the tears were because of some row the two had had. Or even an accidental over pricing which put Rory out an extra fifty cents. Never would he have ever expected for the Bag-Boy to be his Mary's ex. The way his mind had it, the two were going to get married, move in next door to him and flaunt it for the rest of his life.

"He's an idiot," Tristin said honestly.

"Yea, right…" She replied with bitter sarcasm.

"Well he is, don't worry, they'll be other guys. If Dean had the nerve to break up with you, then he's obviously not worth your time."


And why do I feel so old

"I couldn't say it. I – I could tell him."


Why do I feel so cold

"Couldn't tell him what?"

"Ha," Rory spat, coming out of herself before she got too wrapped up, too emotional; too involved. "I bet you're loving this." She said shooting his words back at him. "Dean breaks up with me, I'm miserable, and now just look at you! You're being nice only to get ammunition for later on. Well fine! I don't care anymore! I couldn't tell him I loved him! I didn't love him! I never did." She ended quietly. With these words she collapsed onto the floor, sobs over taking her, abandoning any hope Tristin held of her saying more.

"Rory, my Mary," Tristin said smiling into her eyes. "I would never take pleasure in your pain. Never," he interrupted her more forcefully, before she could protest. Sliding onto the floor beside her he continued. "Maybe this Dean thing isn't so bad. He was you're first boyfriend. He won't be the last," giving her a smile he continued. "This gives you a chance to look around. Open up, who knows, maybe you'll find someone who can love you enough to wait for you to fall in love with them."

Rory looked up. Her tear swollen blue orbs, meeting his. The depth of emotion there scared her. It was more than a challenge, and certainly more than passion, or admiration; even more than lust. In his eyes she saw love deeper than she ever had or ever seen with Dean.

My heart is saying one thing but my body won't let go'

Who was she kidding, this is Tristin. Cocky Tristin, Evil Tristin, Bible Boy; she was talking about the Spawn of Satan here. The only thing Tristin cared about was how long it would take to un-do the leather clasps of her kilt. She couldn't do this.

Rory Gilmore had had it with having to convince herself that Tristin wasn't worth her time. There was something wrong with him! He was crazy, insane. No sane person would like someone suffering from insanity, right?

Precisely. And, no sane person would tease her until she felt like dying, just to prove he liked her. No sane person would get in a fight with her date because he was "just getting to know him." No sane person would ask after the most incredible kiss ever experienced by mankind, "What? Did I bite your lip, or something?" Certainly not; No same person would ever do that. And no sane person would still look at someone with more than a little hope after being victim to all of the formerly mentioned.

So what did that make her? Crazed? Irrational? Nuts? Rory for the life of herself could not understand why she liked the Spawn of Satan.

However, looking into his eyes again was like having a piano dropped onto her head. Suddenly she was flooded with memories of Bible Boy offering her his notes, going to the troubles of finding out her favorite band, asking her to go to the dance with him, Comforting her after her last break-up with Dean. That kiss… Tristin DuGrey was quite possibly the only person at Chilton Prep who had gone out of his way to be near her. And after just one day of knowing him, she had ruined any chance she ever had at something more.

"Tristin," she asked quietly, looking away from him. Her mental pro, con list complete there was only one thing to do. "Do you want to go get some coffee?"

With trembling hands she reaches up

A stranger's flesh is offered

"As you wish," Tristin said, smiling as he stood up, offering his hand for her to pull herself up.

Rory smiled, and followed him outside. Screw classes, she needed to wallow, and what's better to wallow with than coffee, who knows; maybe she could talk Tristin into getting some ice cream too!


And I would be the last to know

Tristin looked over to the embodiment of perfection. Would she ever know how he felt? Even if she did, what were the odds that she would return the feelings; give him a chance?

No. It was better that he leave it at teases. That way, he could always pretend they didn't matter, all the while, not letting himself think she didn't notice because she didn't know. It was a stupid plan – but he didn't care. As far as he was concerned, it worked, and he was of no mind to change it.


I would be the last the let it show

I would be the last to go

They walked slowly to his car. Tristin kept glancing over to Rory, noticing her torn expression. There was a sadness in her eyes, and as he continually stared into her blue orbs he noticed a slight determination. Curious, he continued to walk, until he felt her place a hand on his wrist; the exposed skin burning with contact.

He looked at her expectantly. It terrified him to feel that burning sensation. He wasn't used to feeling anything. All the girls he had been with, been around, all of them still left him numb. Cold, yes, but usually numb. What was it with this girl?

"I don't want to get coffee."

In the two years that Tristin had known her, she had never turned down a cup of coffee. She had actually gone out of her way, and even bribed or threatened someone, if it would get her a cup. What in the world would make her not want coffee, he wondered.

"Okay…" Tristin stated, as an awkward silence began. Burying his hands in his pockets, he waited. When the silence became unbearable he finally spoke up regretfully, "I guess I'll just go then…"

"NO!" Rory shouted almost too quickly, reaching out for his hand. The same burning sensation erupted inside Tristin, beginning at his hand and progressing until he felt like he was going to explode.

"No?" He asked, watching her struggle with herself. He knew from experience that she was making a mental pro con list, about what he had no idea. It didn't help that her grip on his hand was distracting him from any sane thought.

"Yes, or no. No. It's just –" she stated, throwing her hands up in frustration. "He said he didn't want me. He said – he said there wasn't any fire. I tried Tristin, I tried to make it better. I did, I tried to say I love you. But – I couldn't. I just, I – I want to feel wanted." She confessed. "That's what you do right? Make girls feel wanted, even if it's just for a week?" She asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Tristin was absolutely dumbfounded. Never in a million years would he have expected this. Rory was asking to be a flavor, she was asking for him to throw her up against a locker and kiss her senseless. Rory Gilmore was asking to be with Tristin DuGrey, and it didn't matter if it was just for a short while. Was this a dream? Or a nightmare? What happened to his Mary?

Take her hand
She will lead you through the fire

"Come on," he said, gently pulling her towards the back of the school.

Following nervously Rory couldn't get over how blunt she had been. She had practically asked to be one of Tristin's flavors, and what's worse is that she didn't think she would mind.

Tristin held her hand as he crossed the football field. He could feel her nervously following behind him, but feared stopping incase it was just a dream.

Reaching the bleachers, he turned to face her. His mind raced for something to say, something, anything! Instead he just stood there, kicking dirt with his black oxfords; shifting his weight from one foot to the other every so often.

Rory wasn't much better herself. She looked down, letting her loose hair fall over her face. Hiding, trying to avoid his eyes. What an idiot she'd been. She wasn't blonde. She wasn't the type of girl he liked. She was the pure, untouchable Mary, who no one would touch, for fear of breaking her delicate reputation.

Mary, this is your Mary, his mind taunted. You have her, now take her. But he couldn't. He'd spend forever lusting over her, some how that lust had turned to love, and somewhere in the process he'd lost himself. Screw it, she wanted this, you're doing this for her. That was all the convincing he needed before ducking his head to capture her lips.

Caught by surprise Rory staggered backwards. Tristin taking this as a rejection, pulled back angry at himself for believing her innocent eyes.

However one kiss was all it took for Rory, no way was she giving up after overcoming her very nature to get here. Stepping foreword she invaded his space, getting up onto her tiptoes, she gently pressed her lips to his.

What began gentle soon escalated, to the point where Tristin had Rory lifted up, legs wrapped around him, back slammed up against the back of the bleachers. Her arms had found themselves entangled in he hair, while his slid up and down her thigh. Finally Tristin pulled away, needing to catch his breath. For someone who wasn't much of an athlete Rory had an amazing lung capacity.

Slowly catching his breath he rested his forehead against hers. An intimate gesture he didn't think twice about, but would have never conducted with one of his regular companions.

"Mary, are you sure you can do this?" He asked, looking deep into her eyes, their all the more engulfing and mystifying at such close range.

Give you back hope
And hope that you won't take too much

"Just call me Vanilla," she said, taking a deep breath.

"What about chocolate?" Tristin asked, looking into her eyes.

"Okay then, chocolate."

"Cappuccino?"

"I love cappuccino!" Rory chimed losing herself in the banter that came so naturally with them.

"Sour Apple?" he asked sadly.

"Like the gummy?" she asked smiling.

"Don't you see Rory? You're not like them." He said, gently setting her down.

Respecting what is left

"I – I don't understand." Rory replied, suddenly feeling cold.

"You aren't two dimensional Rory! You're so much more than one flavor!" he yelled, emotions getting the better of his natural calm.

She cradled us

"I can be just one. Tristin," she pleaded. "I can, just give me a chance."


She held us in her arms
Unselfish in her suffering she could not understand

"But what if I don't want you to be?"

"Give me a chance. Let me be vanilla, chocolate, sour apple – whatever. Tristin please. I've already been rejected once, don't do this to me again." With those words he felt his heart break. He knew what he had to do, what he had to do for her. She deserved so much more than he could offer her. If hurting her now saved him from breaking her later, well he saw no other option.


That no one seemed to have the time
To cherish what was given

"Mary, I couldn't live with myself if you became vanilla." He said truthfully.

"Fine." She said, turning cold, and shutting me out.


And I would be the last to know
And I would be the last to let it show

"Mary, come on. Don't do this."


I would be the last to go...

"For the last time," she said sadly. "It's Rory."


Mary walks...

A/N: Wow… After all that this is certainly not where I expected this fic to end up. When planning it out I remember something about them being together in the end… But for some reason this worked better, and I'm not sure why, but I'm having troubles writing happy endings right now… I'm such a pessimistic realist. What a horrible combination… Anyways. This was a progressive piece written over about 8 months (yes it's been rotting on my computer that long). Please don't tell me it sucks (unless it does), I'm not sure what I'd do with myself.

Don't hate me! My other fics are coming! DiF is currently in my Beta's inbox, and Improbabilities and Push are going to get attacked tomorrow after practice. FEAR NOT! I'm back, and writing again.