Kiss the Rain – Billie Myers

A/N: It's been too long.

Summary: Marriage was supposed to be this grand and wonderful thing. But instead all it brought her was stress, and pain, and worry. Did he not love her? Was it all a lie?

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. I do not own Billie Myers or anything she produces. I do however own a very large and very strange imagination… But I'm willing to share.

Pairing: It's a Narco told through the eyes of Lindsay. Interesting twist, no?

Rating: PG - PG13

Saturday night. 9 PM. She shouldn't be worried. This wasn't the first time he wasn't home…

In the back of her mind she knew it wasn't right. She knew he was perfectly fine. But he wasn't with her,

and it hurt her to know that she wasn't his first choice.

She lifted her cell phone to her ear. One quick call wouldn't hurt. They were in love right? What better way to show that then to give her husband a quick call to say she missed him?

'Hey, this is Dean. I'm not here right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back.' Beep.

Where are you? She thought.

Opening her mouth she let her standard message out. "Hello, Can you hear me, Am I gettin' through to you?"

She missed him. These late night disappearances had begun only a few weeks ago. Or had they? Maybe she had just been blinded by the bliss of a newlywed life.

Things were still happy. The sex… well the sex was great. But the days were getting longer, and the stress was becoming tiring. They needed him at work, he had an early morning. He just wasn't there.

He was her husband, her soul mate. She dialed again.

"Hello" he finally answered. A smile graced her face. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make her giddy. This wasn't Nick and Jessica. This was going to last. She could feel it; the delicate wings of butterflies grazing her core.

"Hey honey. I miss you,"

"Yea, I…" he carried off "I miss you too."

"Is it late there?" She asked, hoping to draw his attention. "Who's working with you?"

"No one Lindsay." He mumbled distractedly.


There's a laughter on the line

"Are you sure you're there alone? Cause I'm tryin' to explain," she uttered, frustrated with his reluctance to reply, and her own inability to put feelings into words. "Somethin's wrong," she tried. "Ya just don't - sound the same."


Why don't you. She thought. Why don't you sound the same?

"Why don't you go outside…" she drifted off. Go outside and do what? She thought. Go outside and get away from her, screamed her mind. No! Her heart cried. Model marriage. True Love. Soul Mates. "Go outside. Kiss the rain." She said with desperate pleading tone. "Whenever you need me, kiss the rain," she whispered. "Whenever I'm gone too long, if your lips feel lonely and thirsty - Kiss the rain, and wait for the dawn."

"What are you on about Lindsay?" Dean asked, his voice now annoyed and angry. "You call me at 10:30 at night, knowing very well I might add that I'm working." There – the laughter again. "Keep in mind –"

"We're under the same sky," she interrupted. "And the nights as empty for me, as for you," she said, her words telling him she knew the truth. "If ya feel you can't wait till morinin', kiss the rain." She whispered.

"Kiss the rain," He asked, disbelief evident in his voice.

"Oh," she sighed. "Would it mean anything if you knew what I'm left imagining?"

"Imagining?" He exclaimed, "Lindsay, if your imagination had any bearing on this conversation I'd most likely be in bed with Rory Gilmore. For Christ's sake! Get over yourself! It's all in your mind, and frankly it's starting to piss me off."

"In my mind," she choked out. "In my mind, I see you lying to me. I see you cheating on me. I see you leaving me for her. But Dean, it's my heart that matters. My heart says that I love you, and that that's enough."

"I can't have this conversation with you right now. I just – I can't."

Would you go? She wondered. Would you go if I asked you?

"Kiss the rain," She whispered."Hello," she asked, hearing the deafening dial tone. "Hello?"

Two hours later the door opened. She opened her eyes and glanced up from the couch she'd fallen asleep on.

"Baby?" She asked tiredly. What was she doing on the couch? She wondered.

"Hey Linds," Dean said, leaning over to kiss her forehead, as he dropped his jacket onto a chair. "I'm going to get to sleep," he said. "It's been a long night," he added before she could interrupt.

He had almost made it to the stairs when she asked, "Do you miss me?"

"What?"

"Do you miss me?" she repeated.

"Lindsay," he sighed, turning to look at her. "Works been chaotic, and I want to make sure that we have a nice house, and nice things. We're newlyweds, things aren't going to be easy."

"Yes, but do you miss me?"

"You know I do."

"I hear you say you do, but not the way I'm missin' you. You're never around. It feels like I've married a ghost!" she cried out."What's new?" she added sarcastically. "How's the weather? Is it stormy where you are?" she wiped away a tear. Damn, she thought.

Calming down slightly she looked him in the eye. His face blurred by her tears, she simply said, "It's raining here Dean. Where are you?"

"I'm right here," he said, lifting his arms as if to suggest something more significant.

"Cause you sound so close but it feels like you're so far," she exhaled.

Dean walked over and enveloped her in his arms. "Do you remember when we first kissed?" he asked suddenly.

She smiled lightly.

"We were outside the school, and it was pouring buckets. You were soaking wet, and I'd just finished basketball practice. You'd been waiting there for over an hour because practice ran late. When I walked out you ran up to me and just kissed me. You said you'd been waiting over an hour to do it. You said it was like kissing the rain. Kiss the rain, you said. And you'd fall over me. I don't forget Lindsay. I'm always thinking of you, I love you."

She sighed, breathing in his scent – Vanilla, that's… she pushed him away. "You love me or her Dean?" she asked, tears springing into her eyes. "Do you think I'm stupid? I've been waiting, Dean, waiting and waiting! Think of me! Forget about her, and just think of me!" She sobbed. "Think of me!"

"I do think about you Lindsay!"

"Only me,"she whispered

"I'm sick of this Lindsay. I can't make you happy. I spend all day thinking about you, working to support you, taking calls; from you! And what do I get?" he demanded, in an angry tone. "Kiss the rain," he said in a high-pitched, snotty voice. "Whenever you need me kiss the rain." He continued. "Whenever I'm gone too long –"

"Stop it!" Lindsay interrupted. "This isn't a joke Dean. I'm sick of it! I am serious when I say that if your lips feel hungry and tempted - Kiss the rain, and wait for the dawn."

"I'm outa here," Dean said. Grabbing his discarded jacket and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Lindsay yelled.

"To kiss the bloody rain," he replied sarcastically before slamming the door.

Lindsay let her knees give as she crumbled to the ground. Tears streaming down her face, she looked up at the ceiling as if looking for answers. When none came, she started to sob.

Walking briskly Lindsay tried to ignore the feeling in her gut. It was dark out, and the streets were brightly lit – Taylor's idea to keep the neighborhood free of gangs and troublemakers. The wind was cold on her face, and the tears that slipped from her eyes did nothing to warm it.

She didn't know why she was walking. Mainly, she guessed, it was because the house was so silent. The silence was so loud that it became deafening; Though outside it was just suffocating.

This wasn't her town. It was Rory's. She knew it, even when she'd first started dating Dean. Rory Gilmore was the town princess. It felt good though; dating the man that decided he was better than that. It felt more than good – she felt like a queen.

Taking a deep sigh, she stopped where she was. Turning around gently she let out a slight laugh of disbelief. How had things gotten this far?

Lindsay sat down under the tree in front of her. The town square was beautiful at night. For a second she almost forgot everything that was wrong in her life. But she couldn't. She kept thinking back to her words 'Keep in mind we're under the same skies; and the nights as empty for me, as for you.'

What made them so different? Why was it that he could leave her without a care in the world?

It was these thoughts which held her attention until she heard footsteps in the distance.

"Are you sure you're alright?" the voice asked. Lindsay felt her blood turn cold. It was her – she seethed. How dare she come by and interrupt her misery!

"Yea, I'm fine," was the reply.

Lindsay's eyes flew open. It couldn't be.

"What's going on Dean? You've been all hot and cold lately."

"I've just got a lot on my mind," was the reply. "I've made a lot of mistakes Rory," he said suddenly.

"Is this…" she trailed off, her voice sounding vulnerable and scared.

"No," Dean said quickly, turning and holding gently onto her arms. "This isn't a mistake. In fact, this is probably one of the smartest decisions I've made in a long time."

"Okay," she said her voice leaving to question her true feelings. "But what about her?" she asked quietly.

"Lindsay and I have been having problems forever. It was a mistake getting married. I already told you that," he said, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I know, and you keep telling me that. I guess I just wonder why if you're having so many troubles with marriage, and things are going so well with us, why you don't just end it. Why not just do the paperwork and be done with it?"

"There's more to it than that," Dean said, a slight tone of frustration coming out. "Lindsay – she's having a rough time right now. It's too much for her to just end it out of the blue."

"But would it be so sudden if you're having problems?"

"It's different Rory. I mean when you and I were dating, we talked. We always knew where we were at, and other than the Jess thing we never really had any problems… Well Lindsay and I don't talk. Truth be told we didn't even talk when we were dating. We don't work Ror, we don't have this," he said leaning forward and kissing her slowly.

"If you feel, you can't wait till morning - Kiss the rain." Lindsay whispered, watching from her position in the shadows. "Kiss the rain, kiss the rain, kiss the rain." She cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Come on," Dean said, pulling at Rory's hands gently.

"Where are we going?" she giggled.

"Shh," Dean said, silencing her with a kiss.

Walking up the steps to Ms. Patty's, Dean and Rory disappeared inside the barn

"Kiss the rain," Lindsay repeated, trying to will her words into truth. "Kiss the rain, kiss the rain."

She gently lifted up her cell phone, and dialed Dean's number. "Hello, Can ya hear me?" She asked, not even trying to hide her sobs. "Can ya hear me?" She hung up.

"It's over," she said to the night. "Can ya hear me? It's over."