Disclaimer: Ditto.
A/N: Ditto.
A Very Super-Short Summary of THE ARTIC INCIDENT!
(in Russia)
AF Senior: ANGELINE!
(in the UK)
Artemis: Oh my god! The Mafia have my father! And my school sucks! I love making my shrink have nervous breakdowns!
(in Haven)
Root: Uh-oh. Something's wrong! It must be the MudBoy's fault! Holly, go get him!
(Holly gets Artemis, it turns out that he's innocent…)
Artemis: I'll help you if you help me…
Root: Fine.
Opal Koboi: I am evil! I am eeeeeeeeeeevilllll! Nyeahahahahahahahahaha! I will get my revenge on Foaly for being male and being smart! Nyeahahahahahahahahahhahhahaah! Briar!
Briar Cudgeon: I'm ugly and demoted… and I will get my revenge on Root!
The Good Guys: No you won't!
The Bad Guys: Yes we will! We got weapons and you don't! Nyah-nyah!
(things happen)
Foaly: Uh oh! Everyone thinks this is my fault…
(Stupidity, intelligence, bad strategy, good strategy, annoyed goblins and a mad pixie defeat each other and cancel themselves out… so Opal is locked up, Cudgeon is fried, etc.)
(AF senior is rescued)
Eoin Colfer in a witch costume: Um… Just wondering, why do you do this?
TGAFA in a silver tiara, purple roller-skates, a green shirt and jeans: Oh, do be quiet. Go bug Artemis if you don't have anything to do. (shoves through the time-space peanut butter and jellybean sandwich smoothie.) Book's over kids. Review. Etc. Steal Foaly's hat! Steal Foaly's hat! Steal Foaly's hat!