OK, I've got 1 review on Sept. 27, 06. We left off where Calvin has a dirty plan up his sleeve. Let's see (or read, whatever) how it turns out for Jack and Calvin.
"Alright Jack, ready?" Calvin said ominously
"Alright, Calvin," Jack said delightfully, "What are we…"
"Now!" Calvin said loudly to Hobbes. Calvin sprayed Jack with a hose for more than a minute.
When he finally stopped, Jack said, "Now that's the most pathetic way to try to get me out of your hair. Anything else you want to try?"
"But how did you find out?" Calvin said staggered.
"Well, maybe if we TRY to remember what happened, we'll see where we went wrong."
Still talking Hobbes tells the story.
"It started a long time ago…"
"You mean this morning." Calvin interrupted.
"As I was saying…" Hobbes said, starting a flashback.
VVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Alright, we're ready to play, Jack," Calvin said evilly.
"OK, Calvin," Jack said happily. "Let's start with my favorite game…"
"Which is…?" Calvin drearily said.
"Jackball!"
"What the HECK is Jackball?" Calvin said, with a worried look on his face, for it sounded just like Calvinball.
"Jackball is where we sit and do math equations in our heads, and when we have it, we score a point!" Jack said gleefully.
"But where's the 'ball' part!" Calvin shrieked in a deafening voice.
"Oh, that whole 'ball' thing is overrated," Jack said, still in his happy little world.
"No," Calvin said, looking at Jack as if he was weird. Let's hold some sales. You'll even get some merchandise for free!"
"Okay," Jack said, even happier than before. "What are you selling?"
"I'm selling some nice, steaming hot chocolate." Calvin said, trying not to bust a gut.
"That sounds awesome, amazing, and refreshing!" Jack said, while he quickly jerked to one side. "I'll take one."
Jack then gave Calvin a silver dollar. Calvin happily, yet not laughing, said. "You got it!"
Calvin then poured in some kind of sludge. "Calvin, NO!" Hobbes said. "That's sludge from the lake. He won't get the taste out. It might scare him."
"As long as it gets him out of my hair," Calvin whispered to Hobbes. "I want him gone." Then Calvin turns to Jack and says, "Do you want fluff with that?"
"…Oh, alright," Jack says "You talked me into it."
Calvin then puts in this load of what looks to be bubbles. "NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! No!" Hobbes said. "That is a bunch of dead frog's eggs. If he drinks them, he might be too emotionally scarred to do anything."
"This means he won't be near me!" Calvin whispered happily. "So it will get him away!"
Calvin handed Jack the glass, and Jack inspected it curiously, as if to suspect something.
"Come on! Drink it already!" Calvin said angrily. "Err… Umm… because it was made just for you." Calvin said with sweat pulsing down his body.
"Oh, I ordered it for you, not for me." Jack said in an incredibly suspicious voice.
"Oh no," Calvin whispered to Hobbes. "He's figured it out. What do I do?"
"Your only hope is to drink it yourself," Hobbes suggested "and hope it's good."
"Are you nuts! That stuff will kill me!"
"Then you should have made real hot coco," Hobbes said scornfully.
Calvin was about to drink it when he had a 'brilliant' idea. He initiated his idea, which was to drop the glass and get rid of the 'coco' once and for all.
"Oops!" Calvin said as he dropped the glass.
"Sorry, Jack. I'm a bit of a butterfingers myself," Calvin lied sheepishly.
"Yes. Yes of course you are," Jack suspiciously said. Only Hobbes saw it weird. "Well, I want a refund."
"Sorry, no refunds," said Calvin in a monotone. "Ok, time for my next sale, the good advice sale."
"Ok, but I want to like it," Jack said shamefully.
"Oh, you will," Calvin said freakishly. "You Will."
Jack got scared after Calvin said this. "Ok…" Jack said annoyed. "I want to know how I can…"
"Wait," Calvin said. "Before you say what it is, I need to get my nickel."
"Alright, Calvin," Jack said, as if to know he would do this. "Here's the nickel." Jack gave the greedy Calvin a nickel, who snatched it out of his hands.
"Anyways, I wanted to know how I can talk Susie Derkins, who…"
"WHAAAAAT?" Calvin said shrieking in Jack's ear. "What do you MEAN Susie Derkins!
"You know what I mean," Jack said, checking his hearing. "Your next door neighbor, Susie. I like her, and she doesn't know it. I want a way to tell her I like her like her."
Calvin evilly hatched a plan to get rid of Jack. "Okay, Jack," Calvin lied happily to Jack. "I have a way to get you in Susie's mind all day. All you have to do is…" Calvin whispered Jack his plan.
"Are you sure it'll work, Calvin?" Jack said worried.
"Trust me," Calvin said
Jack did what Calvin said, and was later found thrown out of the house, with a couple of books aimed for his head.
"I've never been so insulted, Jack!" Susie yelled at Jack. "Goodbye forever!"
Jack ran up to Calvin, almost ready to strangle him.
"My god, what did you tell him to do?" Hobbes asked. Calvin whispered to Hobbes his totally evil plan, and Hobbes said, scornful at Calvin. "You are so evil! Even I know not to do that to a girl EVER!"
"He didn't," Calvin said to Hobbes.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha," Jack said. "Good joke. I was sweating in there."
"Well then," Calvin said, "Let's cool you off.
"And that's how we're here now," Hobbes said matter-o-factly. Jack and Calvin were both asleep.
"Oh, forget it," Hobbes said as he walked away.
"Hey Calvin?" Jack said.
"Wha…?" Calvin sleepily said
"Why were we sleeping?"
Well, this concludes chapter 2. PLEASE, PLEASE reply and report. The asterisk was to verify the fact that Hobbes is only heard by Calvin.