Love or Blood

Chapter Fourteen: Forward

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The dusty smell of time invaded my nostrils as I held the book to my breast. The corridors seemed brighter and the entire world felt better. I relished the feeling of the book's roughened leather beneath my fingertips. It made me smile. It made me feel content. I had not felt this way in so long that it was quite surprising. Perhaps it was baffling; what one little act of kindness can do.

My steps never had such a bounce to them -- at least I could not remember them feeling this way. It was all so delightful.

I realize that I may be too easy to please but regardless of the fact, I am so very happy. The Count is the most wonderful, generous and caring man in all Nirn. If not for him I would not have a roof over my head, food in my belly, song in my heart and book in my arms. Everything I have I owe to him, he is my savior in so many ways. How strange it is now to look back upon our first encounter. Knowing how frightened I was of his pointy fangs, red eyes and great stature is all rather amusing. But it's also all too unreasonable to entertain. How foolish and fickle I was. So obstinate and quick to viciously judge him for what he is. I am deeply ashamed for the way I reacted, I hope to one day rectify this somehow.

Being the charitable man he is, I have been given two days to make a decision on what I feel should be done regarding my family. The Count was not going to give me any sort of time frame at first but after some consideration we both thought it would be best. I don't want to dwell on this forever. Although it may not have yet been a day, I already know what needs to be done. I have quickly drawn together my conclusion on the best course of action: I shall do nothing.

It may seem harsh for me and what's left of my family but I cannot bring myself to tear open old wounds. Furthermore, I won't do anything that will create problems for the Count. He says it would be no trouble at all but he does not know my family. If my father knew I was alive he would set off to fetch me. He would pay whatever bounty with what he could and try his hardest to see me released. My father is a persistent man and always has been. I know he would come up here and fight for me. I also know that he would eventually discover my place in this castle. That alone is enough to keep me from writing them. If my father ever found out I was a slave for another person, especially a male vampire…oh his heart would break. I can't bear to think of it.

Not to mention my mother. Fickle, fickle woman. The more depressing matter with my mother is that she would be happy for me. She would be elated to find that her daughter was under the 'employment' of the wealthiest Count in all the land. Regardless of what I was doing to earn said position. I could be whoring myself to the entire castle and she would not bat a condescending lash my way. Her overwhelming greed grew when she had a bottle in hand. But I cannot berate my own mother for loving gold -- it's only human.

I will leave it at that for now. My heart aches when I think of my family; I miss them terribly. What I wouldn't give to see them…but I am a grown woman now and I know what's best. Let me keep the past where it belongs. Let me be so selfish as to not send them an explanation. Let me stay far from our old quagmires and hope to never have to glance at them again.

I'm done brooding on this for now. It has only been a day, I need not rush my decision even if I have already mentally finalized it.

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The Count looked toward the clock mounted on the wall and smiled. It was almost that time again and he was eagerly anticipating the company for a change. Everything went exceptionally well last night in his view. After the few uncomfortable situations -- which he so deftly came out of -- all went acceptably. He liked his newest servant better than he thought he would. As a matter of fact, the more he thought about her, the more delighted he became.

There was only little more than a half-hour before her arrival and he needed to compose himself. If he simply stared and smiled at her the way he was now she would surely think he had gone mad. Though it was her fault his usual lackluster enthusiasm had altered into true interest. After all, who on Nirn would actively seek out a book about the Daedric Prince Sheogorath? She did openly express her curiosity for the Daedra to him once she was facing a bookshelf, but out of all the other candidates she choose Sheogorath…It made him wonder.

After she had selected this book however, she voiced her deepest thanks and promised it back to him that same time tomorrow. He insisted that she keep it longer. How one could even hope to finish such a thick tome of madness in one night baffled him. Is that even healthy? But the way she floated from the room kept his lips pressed and tongue in check. Of course he did own her so he could say whatever he damned well pleased. Nonetheless, Janus was not a heartless man, nor was he out to cause anymore discomfort to the girl than he already had. So he let her have a moment and only smiled.

Needless to say if she did intend to keep her promise by finishing the book and bringing it back he did worry for her sanity. The Mad God was certainly an interesting character and his servant was equally so. It was a good quality he supposed, but he gathered she was also quite impressionable too. He hoped she didn't come back spewing nonsense at him.

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Hal-Liurz closed the book before her and sighed heavily. The recent turn of events and shifting atmosphere of the castle had robbed her of the ability to concentrate. Although it had been a slow day the minor chores she had done left her dazed and tired. Her brow creased as she stared out the little window of her room, the current storm catching her attention. The rain struck the glass with such force Hal-Liurz wouldn't have been surprised if it shattered.

With another sigh she stood, placed the book back in its proper place and left her room. The Stewardess enjoyed roaming the halls at night rather than walk them during the day. It was quieter, peaceful and just what she needed as medicine for the end of another relentless week.

She made her way to the servants quarters, thinking all he while. She admired the architecture as she strolled and tried her best to remember what the castle looked like when she was a girl.

The manor itself had undergone many changes in just her lifetime alone. The walls were once lined with stunning stained-glass windows and tapestries. Now hollow archways were the only reminder of how the halls used to look before the windows became 'obsolete' and a health hazard. While the tapestries - most of them having been from the Countesses dowry - were locked away. The poor Count couldn't bear to look at them. She gave another weary sigh, her mood matching the bitter cold weather.

Even when deep within the castle's chambers the stewardess could hear the rain. It pounded the solid outer walls with a fury no other storm could match. She doubted any other another could, anyway. And whenever Hal-Liurz doubted something she was usually right to do so. She was nearly always right about everything. Tasks, mundane as dishes or floral arrangements, would be played out in her head. She would predict the outcome, and at the end of the day it would be the outcome.

That was just the way it always worked.

So as she made her way down the dark, winding stairwell she contemplated this. Being right all the time was grimly satisfying. Their was no surprise and no excitement in her life, it had been this way since she left her girlhood behind.

She was used to the grey days that seemed to drag on forever, the days that passed so quickly that all became a whirlwind of colors in her memory, and the days of warmth and laughter. She felt like she lived it all, that the only thing left to do was drag her feet to an undertaker.

At least that was how it used to be.

Months before that was her life and she accepted it. Hal-Liurz was actually quite content with her existence and how she presumed it would end. That though, was months before. Now, everything was different. The very first time she laid eyes on that little red-haired girl she knew all would change. Sure enough, that child brought up a whole new bag of fun with her when she made her appearance in castle Skingrad.

Abigale Lynn (a name so sickeningly sweet that the stewardess had to hold back a cough when saying it) was a good girl. She was quiet, obedient, graceful, and the Count had put the fear of God into her so she should remain that way.

But did Hal-Liurz think she would stay like that? No, of course not. It was only a matter of time before Abigale Lynn was bounding up and down the corridors doing Gods knew what or Gods knew who.

Her assumption wasn't meant to be an insult; it was just a basic fact. Every girl is born curious. That curiosity blooms and bubbles when being introduced to new environments or people. And although the girl seemed shy, Hal-Liurz could see that very curiosity reflecting in her eyes. An innocent desire to explore and learn, to feel and absorb everything. And the Count, being a man, was going to zone in on that faster than a troll to meat.

It wasn't the nicest way to put it but the stewardess was never one for polite analogies. Knowing this all though made Hal-Liurz's stomach squirm in the most unnecessary manner.

She grumbled at herself and pushed the door to the maids quarters open. Although she never slept here -- her accommodations were much more private -- she did come down regularly to check on the servants. Also to alleviate boredom…She would never admit to that.

But upon entering the small common area, she saw the one person her currently still rolling stomach did not want to see. She remained utterly silent, repressing the irritated groan that had worked its way up her throat and stayed hidden.

Was Hal-Liurz a nosy eavesdropper? Of course. Being one of the very few trusted workers for the Count she had to be.

The little redhead did not even know the door opened. She remained still, seated at a small round table, bathed in the dim yellow glow of a single candle. The stewardess all but rolled her eyes at the scene. The room was dark aside from the small flickering flame so it was understandable that Abigale missed the door opening. Still, in the back of her mind the stewardess wished the girl had seen her. If she had she would scamper to bed like a frightened deer.

More bad analogies? Oh well.

The picture of the girl was so utterly alluring -- and the stewardess hated that word -- that she was surprised the Count didn't spring from the shadows himself and whisk the girl away. Not that the stewardess would have appreciated that, but ideas swimming through her head danced around the edges of bad romantic novels.

It was so wrong…yet amusing.

She looked so peaceful, sitting there reading a book, like all was right with the world. Her hair was loose, cascading in long silky waves down her back, partly tossed over her shoulder. The girl's eyelashes were so long and dark they cast shadows upon her cheeks, and her full lips were relaxed, not held between little pearly teeth for once.

It was disgusting.

The Stewardess could not keep from shaking her head. Why had the Gods sent this girl here? To create more problems? She did not know, nor did she truly want to. In Hal-Liurz eyes, everything happens for a reason. Which meant this girl was going to play some sort of role in the future. For better or worse. Oh, it was going to be an eventful evening.

She made her presence known by not so gracefully closing the door. Abigale's head shot up, book fumbling in her grasp as she struggled to make out who was lurking by the door. "…Stewardess?" She whispered after a moment of squinting. "Is that you?"

"No it's not." Hal-Liurz gruffly answered as she strode into the light. She crossed her arms, eyes flicking from the book to the girl. "Where'd you get that?"

The Breton bit her lip and tugged the sleeve of her peasant shirt, trying in vain to cover her shoulder. "The Count let me borrow it." She mumbled, placing a protective hand on the book's cover.

This was exactly what the Stewardess needed right now. She loved discovering what the Count was oh-so-not-discreetly doing behind her back. "Really? Are we starting a library now or are you just special?" She was the Stewardess, she was supposed oversee these affairs. She was the Stewardess; she was supposed to be informed about something even as mundane as this. She was the Stewardess…and maybe she felt a little jealous.

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Little Hal-Liurz starred up at the tall bookshelves. Her mother would regularly scold her for staring at people and things, but she could not help it. Thankfully, her mother was not present at the moment.

Her neck began aching so she tilted her head slightly to alleviate the pain. She was beginning to feel dizzy too but she did not want to leave the Count's library just yet. Presently, she was gaping at the Count's magical tomes. All those spells and secrets were just out of her reach. She adored magic, but what she loved more was watching a certain someone practice it…

Her tail twitched and scaled fingers curled. She wanted to learn new magic. Restoration spells could only interest a twelve-year old for so long. In a futile attempt to reach the desired books, she outstretched her arms and leapt into the air. However, her claws did not even come close to the top shelf. She cursed, patted at her gown and readied herself for another jump, only to be startled by a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Let's not do that again." Said a smooth, deep voice. And all at once, the green scales on Hal-Liurz face turned a harsh purple. "You're going to hurt yourself, or my things. Either one I'll get into trouble for." She turned to face the Count, blinking glowing orange eyes at him and mumbled an apology. She quickly observed he had been drinking. Tonight was his and the Countess's farewell party after all, so it was expected. The smell of sweet wine and expensive mead oozed from his pores. Hal-Liurz liked the smell but was saddened to know that he only touched her because of the drink. The Count was not a big drinker but one would think a grown man as himself could hold down his mead better, on those rare occasions he indulged in it.

"Don't fret over it." He snorted, bringing himself to full height. "I won't tell a soul. Although this is my library so technically I already know…" The Count looked puzzled for a moment but shook it off. "But no books for you I'm afraid. You have your mother's collection to see to. I don't give out to the hired help. Now, would you be so kind as to fetch the Countess for me? We have something very important to…to…discuss? Yes, discuss." His silvery eyes twinkled darkly and a rather goofy smile twisted its way to his lips. "Lots of discussing." He snorted as he made his way to their bedchamber. "Tell her I intend to discuss all night. So get her, won't you?" The Count called from over his shoulder as he rounded the corned out of sight.

Hal-Liurz eyes narrowed as she huffed and turned to inform Lady Rona. Discuss She thought venomously Disgusting is more like it! It just wasn't fair. Even when drunk she could not get anything more than a hand on her shoulder out of him. She liked the Countess as a person but loathed her for being the tall, wispy, Imperial that she was. The Count would never see anything in an Argonian…

But having to stay in the room right next to theirs was just adding salt to the wound. Especially when their bed was by the wall she slept next to. They weren't exactly quiet either. She could never sleep, she hated their discussions with a passion. I can't wait to get a room in the private quarters with my mother.

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The still rather irked Stewardess placed her hands on her hips. "Why aren't you dressed for work yet?" She snapped. "Do you intend to work in nothing but an old chemise? Get dressed and do your job, girl."

Like a spring Abigale jumped up and nearly ran to get changed, never minding the time. Hal-Liurz felt rather low for raving at the girl but she could not keep from doing so. The injustice of it all was gruesome. As a girl, she wanted nothing more than to have the Count all to herself. What she wouldn't have given then to be in the shoes of Abigale Lynn.

Of course now she no longer was a lovesick girl, desperate for her lord's attention. Rather she was an aging lizard, who would much rather smack the Count upside the head then anything else…

Why then did she hold such animosity for the two? Because the Count was being sneaky, years of knowing the man meant that was not a good sign. The girl, however, only wanted to please him. Add in both their quirks and the Count's illness and you had a bad situation waiting to happen.

Authors Notes: Craptastic chapter, huh? I'm a busy bee~ still am. But I'm starting the next chapter as we speak. Hopefully, it will be longer than this. And yes, I've made the Stewardess crush on Hassildor when she was little XDXD That is all…I hope I still have readers for this XD