Blurred Lines
Disclaimer: Maria-sama ga Miteru and its characters are not mine.
A/N: M Rating starts here, just to be safe.
Crossing the Line
'Why would Miss Ogasawara be jealous of Ren-san? It couldn't be that she…'
Yumi shook her head, dismissing the dangerous thought that was about to enter her mind and headed for the kitchen instead. It was not that she truly didn't understand the executive's actions…she just didn't want to acknowledge them.
After the admittance, Ogasawara-sama excused herself and went to her bedroom leaving Yumi to start preparing dinner. She was glad for the momentary break because she was afraid of where their discussion could lead to.
Yumi pulled her hair up into a bun and folded up her sleeves. The kitchen was spotless to the point that Yumi wondered if it had ever been used at all. It wouldn't be unusual for a maid to come every once in a while to do cleaning, but what brought about that thought was the state of the kitchenware – from the knives, to the chopping board, to the cooking pan – it all looked brand new.
Yumi didn't have trouble finding her way around, ('Ogasawara-sama is so organized' she thought) and soon enough started cutting the vegetables. She was already doing the onions when her boss approached her.
"What can I do to help, Yumi?"
She was quick to note the familiar way she was addressed, but unlike before, she wasn't at all surprised. If she were to be honest with herself…it actually felt nice.
Yumi was also glad that Miss Ogasawara was back to normal, as if the earlier matter had been (thankfully) dropped. There was no hint of unease in her sapphire eyes.
"Please boil some water for the miso soup. The dashi bags are already next to the stove and I also placed the pot you can use by the counter."
Even to Yumi it sounded as if she owned the place, rather than Ogasawara-sama, and she was glad she didn't hear any retort. To her defense, she had just decided to prepare everything ahead so her cooking would go smoothly. It was not as if she was expecting her boss to offer help.
"I haven't tried cooking before, but boiling water should be easy enough." The executive said, but Yumi could just hear a hint of uncertainty in her usually confident voice.
"If you need my help, just let me know, Ogasawara-sama." Yumi said with a chuckle just as she finished with her knife work and started mixing the vegetables with the minced meat. She just couldn't picture how much of a princess Ogasawara Sachiko was to not have even experienced boiling water.
"Did you just laugh at my lack of cooking experience?"
Yumi looked behind her and saw Ogasawara Sachiko glaring at her with an arm on her hip. But instead of it being threatening, Yumi found it to be funny and just continued to laugh. Then, she went over to the sink to wash her hands, having just finished making the burger patties. Because of the sound of the running water, she was unable to hear the approaching footsteps and with her back to the other woman, Yumi continued to say, "Of course not, ma'am. I wouldn't even dare – " the words died on her lips when she felt the other woman's arms settling on either side of her, hands leaning against the kitchen counter in front of Yumi, trapping her in place.
"Ogasawa-"
"Are we not close enough for me to be privileged with being addressed by my first name?"
Their bodies weren't touching yet, but the warm breath fanning at Yumi's nape was already making her knees tremble. She thought she had gotten used to this teasing…
…apparently not.
Yumi pushed down the lump in her throat, "I'd say we are close…"
"Really?"
Slender arms soon left the ledge and snaked ever so slowly around her waist, the movements much less innocent than what happened just a few minutes ago. She was then pulled into an embrace, before she felt Ogasawara Sachiko angling her face, lips moving closer to her ear.
"…really close." Yumi concluded in a shaky voice. Her body involuntarily leaning back.
"So, why is it that you still address me so formally? That's partly the reason why I feel envious of your 'Ren-san'."
And as if the lack of distance between them was not enough, she was pulled even closer, such that she felt so conscious of the generous breasts pressing against her back. The action momentarily distracted her, making her realize what was happening. Yumi straightened her back, slightly pulling herself away in a feeble attempt to put even a tad bit of space between them.
"I'll be able to do that eventually. But for now, please…just give me time." It was not that it was difficult to call her by her name, it was the implication of that sudden change that Yumi was fearful of.
"Time? Then…you have three seconds…"
'Three seconds?!' Yumi shouted in her head.
"Three…"
Yumi didn't know what stunt the older woman would pull this time, but it's making her shiver in anticipation. She assumed she was just being teased…again.
"Two…"
Maybe she was not being teased after all. But it could just be like the time when Ogasawara Sachiko needed a hug – wanting some sort of comfort from a friend - so she could release her pent-up stress.
"One…"
Who was she kidding?!
Yumi knew that what was happening now was not as innocent as their previous interactions, judging by the seductiveness of the voice whispering in her ear… moving closer each second until it was touching her earlobe…the countdown much too slow in contrast to Yumi's racing heartbeat…
"Time's up."
The older woman breathed…her tone laced with lust that had Yumi's heart plummeting…like she was suddenly submerged underwater. Her eyes closing in anticipation, her heart suddenly stopping, her ears seemingly plugged, her skin tingling.
"I recall there is a sensitive spot…"
Yumi unconsciously angled her neck… a silent invitation…
"…just - right - here…"
Those were the last words Yumi heard before she felt a warm wet tongue touch the skin just below her ear and all coherent thoughts left her. It was followed by slow sensuous kisses, moving down the base of her neck. Yumi relaxed her stance, leaning further back, pressing herself even more against the other woman, losing herself at the intoxicating advances. In response, she felt the grip on her waist tighten, before Sachiko's teeth grazed her neck. It was a warning…before the sensitive part on her neck was sucked hard, obviously attempting to mark her. The combination of pain and pleasure was too much for her and Yumi was unable to stop herself from the unladylike moan that left her lips.
"Hmmm…S-S-Sachiko…"
The older woman hummed, before Yumi felt cool soft hands slip under her shirt, caressing the skin of her abdomen.
The pleasurable assaults on her neck continued, now moving to the other side. She reached up, pulled Sachiko's head closer, tangling her fingers at those soft black locks.
The hand against her skin soon started inching downwards bit by bit until she felt a gentle tug on the waistband of her slacks. It was then when Yumi's eyes shot open. Sanity coming back to her, bringing her back to her senses and waking her up from her euphoria.
'What's going on here?'
"S-S-Sachiko…wait…" Yumi said with much difficulty.
They were already crossing the line…much more than they had in their previous encounters (their one-night-stand didn't count of course, at least that was the case for Yumi). Yumi pulled herself back to reality, reeling in her desire and stopping herself from wanting more… Sachiko obviously having wanted more too as Yumi felt a hand fumbling on the button of her pants.
"Sachiko...please."
"Please what?" the voice Yumi heard was trembling as well, as if Sachiko too was struggling for control.
"Please…stop."
…
The pleasurable assaults on her neck stopped, but they stayed locked in the embrace for a moment longer and all that Yumi could feel was the warmth emanating from their bodies, their chest rising and falling as they tried to catch their breaths.
It took another second before Yumi let go of Sachiko's hair, and before Sachiko pulled away.
Contrary to what Yumi had requested, she immediately missed the contact the moment it was gone. She leaned both her hands on the counter for support as everything that had just happened rushed to her head, making her somewhat dizzy.
She was not naïve.
She just didn't want to admit to herself that their relationship was blurring the lines of friendship and…something more. She had convinced herself that they couldn't be more…that they shouldn't be more.
It was not so difficult at the beginning, considering their stature. Ogasawara Sachiko was to be the next face of the Group and she knew how heavy a burden it was for the heiress. She couldn't be with her because she didn't want to tarnish the reputation that Sachiko had worked so hard for over the past years. But as their relationship progressed, it became harder.
It was beyond physical attraction, when Sachiko started exposing her vulnerabilities, Yumi found herself wishing to be there to support her. With each interaction, every teasing, Yumi could no longer ignore the strong pull of attraction she was undoubtedly feeling for the executive. She was falling hard and there was no way to stop…
…unless she were to enter into a relationship with someone else.
Yumi knew it was wrong.
But one night, she had called Ren-san and told him that she needed help. She had admitted to him that she was still hung up on someone and desperately wanted to forget about that person. Ren-san likewise opened up to her saying he was in the same situation, that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend and had been going on dates to help him move on. That was why they agreed to be in a relationship, it was admittedly for a twisted reason but it was the only solution Yumi could think of at the moment.
"The water's boiling, Yumi. Should I take out the dashi bag?"
'What?'
Since she was so lost in her thoughts, she wasn't able to comprehend what Sachiko just said. She turned to look at the other woman and was slightly surprised to see the unease in those usually confident blue eyes. The blush that adorned Sachiko's cheeks was also a new sight for her and Yumi realized that she was not the only one who felt uncomfortable about what just happened.
"Ah…yes, please do. Be careful."
It was a strange atmosphere.
Yumi was unsure if they would be able to brush it aside again and just laugh it off. She tried to think of a way to dissipate the awkward mood…but she just couldn't.
Although it was risky, she had to redraw the line between them.
"Sachiko…" She began, unconsciously addressing the older woman by her name. "You were just teasing, right?" Yumi said with a nervous chuckle.
- - - o 0 o - - -
Sachiko didn't know what just happened.
She was just planning on teasing Yumi before the whole thing escalated.
She clearly remembered Yumi angling her neck, as if inviting her to act on her desires…and so she did. She tasted her, thinking she wouldn't do more…but (oh Maria-sama!) Yumi tasted so sweet that she was unable to control herself. Then when the slender body in her arms trembled, it brought Sachiko such great satisfaction that she wanted to elicit similar reactions from the younger woman. Add to that, she had thought of marking her, wanting to make that 'boyfriend' of hers jealous. Her possessive-self not wanting anyone else to be intimate with her Yumi.
Sachiko had wanted to stop then…until Yumi let out that sensuous moan. It was then when Sachiko finally let go of all her inhibitions.. She didn't hear any complaint when she slipped a hand inside Yumi's blouse, nor when she continued assaulting the younger woman's neck with kisses, instead, her head was pulled down and she felt the slow movement of Yumi's hips against hers.
That was why it had been so confusing when Yumi suddenly asked her to stop.
She thought it was okay…that Yumi wanted her too.
Did she read the mood wrong?
Yumi was attracted to her too, right? It couldn't be that she was the only one who realized that their relationship was not so innocent anymore…in fact, it had never been innocent from the very beginning. They had slept together the first time they met!
Sachiko silently pulled away, afraid of requesting a clarification from Yumi. At first, she honestly just wanted to be friends with the younger woman. Teasing her from time to time, provoking her and pushing her to make those cute reactions was enough…at least that was the case until she realized she could really lose Yumi to that Sasaki Ren.
The conversation she had heard earlier, that that man goes to Yumi's apartment, made her think that they've been intimate with one another. It should be natural considering they're in a romantic relationship. The problem though is that the thought of someone else sharing a bed with Yumi fills Sachiko with so much anger and jealousy that she was completely unable to stop herself from blowing up earlier.
She knew she was not in a position to think or feel that way. That was why she apologized. She had not seen Yumi get angry at anything she did, and that unbearable silence after they left her car was the closest she'd seen the younger woman get to irritation. She hated the feeling of angering Yumi.
She excused herself and went to her room after their conversation, both to cool her head and sort out her thoughts. When she locked herself in her room earlier, she finally decided to accept that she wanted something more from Yumi. She didn't want to be just friends with her anymore.
There were admittedly a lot of complications, first is that it could cause a scandal not only for her but her family. Society was more open now regarding same-sex relationships, but the Ogasawara family's views (especially her grandfather's) has always been traditional.
Second was the fact that she was a top executive and Yumi was an ordinary employee at the same company. This could be easily addressed once Sachiko requested for a reassignment to another branch office or she could transfer back to the head office in Tokyo.
And lastly, was that Yumi is already in a relationship. She felt like she's contradicting herself since she had always been so appalled at the thought that her father and grandfather are having mistresses – relationships outside of marriage. While it is true that Yumi is not yet married, it is the same situation in that she's destroying someone else's relationship.
For these reasons, she had enjoyed the ambiguity of their relationship. And it seemed like Yumi was no different from her.
The thick white smoke coming out of the pot in front of her distracted Sachiko from her thoughts.
"The water's boiling, Yumi. Should I take out the dashi bag?" Sachiko asked.
It took a while for Yumi to respond. "Ah…yes, please do. Be careful."
Sachiko knew she could easily brush this off as teasing, but the question is…did she want to?
Although there are a lot of complications, should they decide to re-define their relationship, Sachiko felt like she should first take that bold step and confess her feelings to Yumi. There is a chance that she would be rejected and that they'd lose the good relationship that they currently have, but somehow, Sachiko just felt like they couldn't go back…not after what had transpired. She could not tease the younger woman again and not think about how much further she could push until Yumi would ask her to stop.
As she was thinking this, she heard Yumi's faint voice.
"Sachiko…"
She then switched off the stove, realizing that they were about to discuss a very important matter and she didn't want to be distracted again.
"You were just teasing, right?" Yumi said with a nervous chuckle.
The question caught her by surprise…a bad surprise. The phrasing clearly meant that Yumi wanted them to remain friends. To Sachiko, it sounded like a confirmation that there was no other meaning beyond those actions.
But there was.
Sachiko bit her lip, unsure of what to say. Her next words could very well be the last they exchange…or the first of the many more intimate conversations they could have. Though the second one was clearly just wishful thinking on her part.
"Sachiko?" Yumi called her again, this time taking a step towards her.
Finally, Sachiko had the courage to face the younger woman, to meet her hazel eyes. Yumi was smiling an awkward smile…seemingly begging for her to say that there had been a mistake…
…a plea for her to lie.
But she couldn't.
Not to Yumi…not to herself.
"No…Yumi. I was not." Sachiko said sadly. "Is that ok with you?" Her voice had been somewhat hopeful. Clinging for a speck of chance that the other woman would give her affirmation.
However…
"I see…" Yumi said as she took a step back and pressed her hands together. She averted her gaze and her lips drew to a frown. She had not been surprised at Sachiko's response, making it clear that she was already expecting it.
"You must have felt it too, right? That what we have was something more. That is…I hope that you feel the same way I do."
It was nerve wracking for Sachiko…confessing to Yumi. She had never felt this way before, ever. She had experienced standing in front of huge crowds to give speeches, she had faced the Ogasawara board of directors, people much older and wiser than her to convince them about an investment she was working on. She had been nervous during those times too, but nothing came close to the tension and anxiety she was feeling at this very moment.
Because somehow, she could tell that she would be rejected.
Yumi's brows furrowed, "Why? You ran away the morning after our first night, remember? I thought you understood that it's for the best that we can never be together."
Sachiko didn't know what to say. It was spot on for Yumi to say those words. At that time, Sachiko was afraid for anyone to know that she had a one-night-stand with a stranger, and a woman at that.
"It broke my heart." Yumi continued, her voice trembling. "I thought we had a connection back then. But when I found out who you are, whom I spent that special moment with, I realized why you had to go." Tears leaked out of her hazel eyes, blurring the image of Sachiko in front of her. "I understood. I know you have responsibilities and that you need to protect your image. Not only yours, but also for your family's sake."
Sachiko understood what Yumi was saying and she wanted to respond that they should just forget about what other people will think…but she couldn't. Because she herself cared about other people's opinion, it mattered to her family and she was trained to think the same. All her training on social etiquette, traditional Japanese arts, languages, all those were meant for her to have an impeccable image. So indeed, what she is asking now of Yumi, her confession, seems to contradict what she believes (or should believe) in.
"I was happy with what we have -"
Yumi paused, just for a split second, but Sachiko was quick to notice when the younger woman placed a hand on the phone in her pocket. It must have vibrated and the caller could only be…
Sachiko's expression started to change. Because of that momentary distraction, she had a horrifying realization…
"- as friends. I -"
"Friends?" Sachiko interjected, her voice laced with sarcasm. "Why? Because you're already in a relationship with Sasaki Ren?"
'No, no, no, no…what is Sachiko saying?' Yumi was so confused. She was about to shake her head, to clarify that Ren-san was just an excuse for her to forget, to move on but…
"You're saying that you are rejecting me… us for my sake. But the truth is that you are in love with someone else. You may have feelings for me, but you love him more, don't you!?"
Yumi swallowed hard and looked away, an attempt to hide the lie she was about to utter...
"Yes,". she said firmly.
She couldn't find a way to make the older woman understand that while her heart yearned to be with her, her mind was telling her to do otherwise. And that accusation was the only escape Yumi had. She thought that maybe Sachiko didn't need to understand. If lying was the only way to save Sachiko from future hardships, then Yumi would willingly be the villain. And the most convincing lie Yumi could tell was the one Sachiko already believes in…
"You are right to say that I couldn't be with you, because I am in love with Ren-San. So please, let's put an end to this."