32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in…"Laugh and the World Laughs with You"
Chapter One
Gotham City: Arkham Asylum
Deep in the bowels of the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane, we begin our story. Past numerous doors with infamous names on them such as "Pamela Isley, Harvey Dent, Jonathan Crane, and Jervis Tetch…interesting names, but none of which are relevant this time around. No, the door in question's label is much more mysterious. It merely says, "Unknown". Inside this room was possibly the worst of all the inmates. Such a patient (though many would consider him a prisoner since he seemed so utterly hopeless) obviously needed round the clock guarding. Enter a Mr. Ronald Gargaminster (poor guy, I'd hate to have a name like that. It just sounds silly.), a rookie orderly. Some would be nervous or terrified of having such a task, but not Ronald. No, this was easy money to him. Just look at that cell. Thick iron doors, security cameras (which often got mooned when the inmate was feeling bored) and the like. Dr. Arkham went all out this time.
Inmate: Oh yoohoo…Mr…Gargalmisiter or whatever it was? Do you happen to have the time?
…honestly, I don't know why I don't just mention the name. It should be obvious by now. Ronald rolled his eyes.
Ronald: Time for you to pipe down, pal.
Inmate: Oh ho ho! Witty retort! Reminds me of a joke…(muttering) Then again, everything reminds me of a joke. Heh heh. (normal) What time is it when somebody straps several pounds of plastic explosives to the opposite wall?
Before Ronald could reply, the opposite wall exploded. He reached for his radio but was shot with a popgun cork. The cork had a needle in it, which plunged into his shoulder.
Inmate: The recorded time of death! Get it?
Ronald pulled the cork out, horrified. He couldn't help the chuckles that escaped from him before he burst out into hysterical laughter. He collapsed to the ground, unable to breathe. His vision was swimming and his jaw hurt. Whistling, the gunman…gun WOMAN, excuse me, stepped up and took the keys for his cell. She unlocked the door and the inmates stepped out. He knelt next to the laughing Ronald, a wicked grin on his pale face.
Joker: Thank you, you've been a lovely audience…Gargaminster…eh, I was close.
Ronald stopped laughing. He was dead, his face stuck in a terrible smile. Joker patted him on the face.
Joker: That's it! Stiff upper lip and all that. It could be worse. You could be de…oh. Never mind.
Gun Woman: Eh…Mr. J? We REEEEEALLY should be going.
Joker: And so we should. Exit stage right, laughing all the way! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Holding his sides, the Joker dashed out toward the waiting getaway car. Harley smiled and ran after him. Oh how she LOVED this time of the year!
:CUE THEME:
Jump City: Titan Tower, Beast Boy's Room
Now, it should come to no surprise that Beast Boy is NOT a morning person. At least, he wasn't typically a morning person. Yet this was NOT a typical morning. Oh no. This was his favorite day of the whole year. The one day he could cut lose and nobody could be mad at him the next day. For today was April 1st. Beast Boy whistled as he tied his shoes. This was gonna be good. Would this be the year somebody manages to get him? Feh. Fat chance on that. Since the beginning of the Titans, many have tried it, none have succeeded. Though he can be pranked on other days, not this one. No, there has never been an April Fools Day that has involved a pranked Garfield Logan. Now dressed and spiffy, he stood to the left of his door and pressed the button to open it. A rush of ink squirted forward, hitting his wall. He sighed and shook his head.
Beast Boy: Pink ink. How obvious a trap was that? Almost as bad as this.
Picking up a metal pole from…something he broke a while back…maybe it came off his bed, he wasn't sure…he flicked the tripwire, causing black goo to spill from a rigged bucket above his door.
Beast Boy: Must be Robin's. The wire set up totally screams Robin.
Beast Boy stepped out, whistling to himself. He stepped over a patch of barely visible sticky stuff on the floor.
Beast Boy: Cyborg's got a mess to clean up.
He was almost to the main room when he noticed the section on the floor looked…odd. Curious, he tapped it with his foot. It opened up, revealing a pit. It was filled with something. Beast Boy dipped his finger in and sniffed it.
Beast Boy: Hmm…corn syrup. Digging a hole in the floor. Totally disregarding how much trouble this would get them in…gotta be Shade's.
Just outside the main room door was a rope. It was labeled, "Pull me, please." Beast Boy sighed. Starfire never could come up with a good prank. …oh well. Maybe he'd humor the poor girl. He reached out and tugged the rope, closing his eyes. Nothing happened. He opened the door and stepped through. Still nothing. Starfire turned on the couch, a look of disappointment on her face.
Starfire: You pulled it? I had thought for sure the reverse psychology would be successful…
Beast Boy: Eh?
Raven sighed, not looking up from her book.
Raven: Look above you, genius.
Beast Boy looked up. Over his head was a massive weight. His jaw dropped and his eyes bulged.
Beast Boy: Dudes! What the hell is that!
Starfire: Well, had you entered without pulling the rope, as I was sure you would, the weight would have been dropped on you! Is that not humorous?
Terra: If a bit lethal.
Starfire's eyes widened and she covered her mouth.
Starfire: Lethal! But Shade assured me that Beast Boy would be fine!
Everyone looked at Shade. He shrugged.
Shade: I'd of stopped it from hitting him…too hard.
Terra: You're a dickweed.
Shade sighed.
Shade: What does that even mean?
Terra: …I dunno.
Beast Boy walked in front of everyone and cleared his throat. Robin and Cyborg looked up from their video game and Shade stopped doodling. Well, he called it sketching, but it was doodling. Just ask Raven, who glanced up from her book.
Beast Boy: You guys had your turns…now it's mine.
A string lowered from nowhere, the full cartooniness of this world coming through, and he yanked on it. Balloons containing rotten mayo spilled onto their heads. Those who had things in their hands dropped them, eyes twitching.
Beast Boy: April Fools! HA!
Raven: …there's…mayo…on…my…book…now it smells terrible and I'll…I'll NEVER get it off!
Raven's cloak started flashing and her second pair of eyes slowly formed. Beast Boy shrieked and ran.
Raven/Red: BEAST BOY! TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE THE MAN YOU PRETEND TO BE!
Raven flew after Beast Boy, growling. Terra clenched her teeth.
Terra: Normally, I'd go stop her…
Cyborg: Let's go hurt him good.
Terra: Sure.
The Titans ran off in pursuit of Beast Boy and Raven.
Hall O' Laughter
Joker adjusted his tie. The inmate uniform was so droll. It was good to be back in his normal duds. He stepped out of the wardrobe room. Harley was feeding Bud and Lou.
Harley: Uh…Mr. J…just wondering…what are we doing here in Jump City?
Joker sighed. Some people just had no vision at all. It should be obvious. Then again, that would be assuming she could match his genius. …then again, this gave him a wonderful chance to brag.
Joker: Simple, Harle. The Bat would expect us to break out and start havoc in Gotham. But the jokes on him! We're not going to attack HIM, we're attacking the bird boy! We whack the brat and Batman kicks himself for not seeing the punch line coming! Then no matter what happens, WE win!
Harley: But Puddin', doesn't the brat got powerful friends?
Joker made a moving mouth motion with his hand.
Joker: "When there's trouble"…blah, blah, blah. It's just a bunch of kids! Ones, I might add, that I know ALL about.
Harley tilted her head.
Harley: You do…?
Joker: Of COURSE I do! I just SAID I did, didn't I!
Joker took a deep breath and fixed his hair.
Joker: Anyway, I got me a plan to thin the ranks already in the works.
Harley shrugged. If he said so.
Titan Tower: Bathroom
This was embarrassing beyond belief. Raven washed the goop from her face, determined not to give in to her emotions again. She had been flying after Beast Boy and went face first into a slime covered piece of plastic wrap hanging from the ceiling. Raven wasn't sure what the slime was made of, but she knew better then to ask. Splashing more water on her face, she scrubbed it again with the towel to make sure she got it all. There was a knock on the door.
Raven: Just a sec.
Raven checked her face. It looked clean enough. She lifted her hood back over her head and opened the door to walk out. She found herself staring at a corn syrup covered Shade. He took off his sticky sunglasses, barely able to see out of them anyway.
Shade: My own prank…the little weasel tricked me into my own prank.
Raven: This is why I don't set pranks up. They backfire and make you look stupid.
Shade: I've got syrup in places I really shouldn't.
Raven pinched the bridge of her nose.
Raven: I'm going to pretend you mean your ear and you're not going to correct me.
Shade: …actually that's what I meant. …can I shower now?
Raven: Go for it.
Raven stepped out of the way and Shade went in. Behind him was an extra set of clothes being carried by a shadow hand. Raven walked down the hall, mentally complaining.
Raven: …I hate this holiday. Stupid, useless, utterly childish. Just the sort of holiday Beast Boy would like, that immature little…
Raven musings were cut off as she almost walked right into Starfire. Raven stared, unable to believe her eyes. Starfire smiled pleasantly.
Starfire: Greetings, Raven.
Raven: Uh…hi…
Starfire: My friend, if it is not too troublesome, might you do me the favor?
Raven nodded, speechless. How did…?
Starfire: Might you free me from this paper of the winged insect!
Starfire was stuck in the largest piece of flypaper Raven had ever seen.
Starfire: I would do it myself, but I fear I lack the leverage.
Raven: …sure thing. Azarath Mentrion Zinthos.
Starfire was pulled from flypaper with a loud ripping sound. Starfire bit her lip.
Starfire: …please inform me that there is NOT a large section of my hair still attached to the paper of the winged insect.
Raven: …it's not THAT large.
Starfire: …I shall fetch a paper bag to slip over my visage. Pardon me.
Raven sighed and watched her go. What a day. To make matters worse, the alarm went off. Raven rushed to the main room. Robin was at the computer, typing and what not. Cyborg sniffed and raised an eyebrow at him.
Cyborg: …is that honey?
Robin's hair was particularly shiny right now…and sticky…
Robin: I don't want to talk about it.
Beast Boy bit back giggles.
Beast Boy: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a pranking god.
Terra smacked his arm.
Terra: Don't be a jackass about it. That's not good sportsmanship.
Beast Boy: (rubbing his arm) Sorry.
Shade showed up, still wet.
Shade: Every freaking time I'm in the shower…what's going on?
Robin: We've got a trouble at a movie theater. Let's move!
Late Early Movie Theater
The Titans stood in the lobby, confused. Things didn't SEEM too bad. No mess…no nothing. The only thing wrong was that it was abandoned.
Beast Boy: So…am I the only one who thinks this was a waste of time?
Shade: Maybe we've been April Fooled.
Cyborg hit his hand on the snack counter.
Cyborg: They better not be messing around. That alarm ain't a toy.
Robin: Split up. Starfire, with me. Shade, you take Terra and go that way. The rest of you, go left. Search the theaters.
Beast Boy: Why is Shade going with Terra?
Shade: Why am I going with Terra!
Terra: Why is he going with me!
The trio said this at the same time. Robin sighed.
Robin: Just go.
Everybody split up. Raven looked back as Terra and Shade went the opposite direction.
Raven: …why is Shade going with Terra?
Terra and Shade
Terra walked with her arms behind her head. Shade folded with his hands in his pockets.
Terra: …so, what's up with you?
Shade: …tsk. Are you trying to make small talk, NOW?
Sighing, she let it drop. She should have known he'd say something anti-social like that. They peeked inside the first theater. Nothing. Then the second. Nothing. Then the next. Shade paused and sniffed the air.
Shade: …look around here. I smell something.
Terra: What? Popcorn and that sticky stuff on the floor?
Shade: Blood.
Terra: …oh. Eh…heh…maybe one of the patrons had a nosebleed?
Shade: …and gunpowder.
Terra winced. Just great. The pair searched around. There was one body, still propped up in a seat. It had a hole in its temple. Terra clicked her tongue and shook her head.
Terra: What was the point of this?
Shade: …to frighten…and show the threat was real.
Terra: …there are more?
Shade: …this movie was packed. I can still smell a lot of fresh scents. …hmm…they went this way…
Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg
The trio entered the first theater and began looking around. This one appeared empty. The screen showed the fluttering image from a severed film in the projector. Suddenly something squished under Raven's shoe. When she tried to step back, her foot refused to come off the ground. Struggling, she pitched forward but stopped her fall by grabbing the nearest seat. Her fingers brushed along the sticky fluid underneath. Strangely, it didn't stick to her fingers.
Raven: …guys? …I think I stepped in something.
Cyborg turned the flashlight onto the ground. Beast Boy snickered.
Beast Boy: Raven stepped in gum.
If it was gum, it was left by a giant. Raven's eye twitched. She turned her head and motioned Beast Boy over.
Raven: (sweetly) Garfield, could you come over here, please?
Against his better judgment, Beast Boy did just that. Raven grabbed him and threw him into the sticky stuff.
Raven: Does this smell like gum?
Beast Boy: (muffled) No.
Raven: Cyborg. Little help?
Biting back laughter, Cyborg pulled the pair free. Raven sighed and looked at her shoes.
Raven: You tore the bottoms…
Cyborg: Sorry.
Beast Boy: Who cares about your shoe's! Hello!
Beast Boy pointed to his costume. The entire front was missing. Raven raised an eyebrow.
Raven: Are those heart spotted boxers?
Beast Boy: So what if they are?
Cyborg: (taunting) Aren't they just the cutest thing?
Raven suddenly had to bite back a laugh. That was odd. It wasn't that funny..
Starfire and Robin
Starfire covered her mouth, horrified. She had seen dead bodies before. In her line of work it was hardly uncommon. None of them ever looked like this though. An entire theater filled with smiling corpses, staring straight ahead at some of the sickest footage Starfire had ever seen. It was so bad she had destroyed the projector to stop it.
Starfire: Robin…what is going on? How could such death masks…?
Robin: …we're leaving. Now.
Starfire: Pardon?
Robin: I said we're leaving. Go!
Starfire was confused. Why should they leave? Shouldn't they be catching the one responsible? Robin pulled out his communicator.
Robin: Everybody, out of the theater now! GO!
Robin closed his communicator and bolted for the door. It was too dangerous. Risking his own life was one thing, but his team? More then likely Joker was long gone along with everyone else alive. It would be foolish to remain. Starfire flew after him.
END PART ONE