Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the stupidity, for everything else there's Meg Cabot.

A/N: Welcome to a new story. I like to do funny POV's. So here's Brad. I'm thinking around haunted time. If I get good reviews I'll write more. So post em'

BRAD P.O.V

I have the bestest dreams in the whole freaking world.

Like no one else could have better ones.

They have everything awesome; chicks with large tits, money, cars, crowns, and getting down with the dirty beast.

Oh yeah, and who is the master behind these freaking awesome dreams.

It is I, Brad Ackerman, of course.

Why the hell are you laughing?

Who'd you think it was gonna be your fat momma.

Ha, I'm great. I know it.

Whatever, loser; so I was totally having the best dream ever, crowned like king of the world or universe or something.

When someone decides it would be funny to knock on my door and totally wake me up.

Gawd, what's a guy gotta do for some freaking shut eye, or whatever.

I'm obviously ticked, like duh!

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" I yell. I have a right to; I was trying to sleep, because I have the bestest dreams in the whole freaking world.

"Brad can I come in?" said this little voice. And if I'm totally not mistaken it sounded like Suze, my step-sister.

"Whatever Suze," I said back. I dropped the yelling cuz I'm such a nice guy.

HAHA, god I'm funny.

The door burst open and in walks seductive Simon.

I like that nick-name; Seductive Simon.

Catchy!

I was so turned on.

The way her hips moved, and her legs were smooth and bare, and her shirt was open, and I was catching glimpses of her brea—

WHAT! She's not my sister; she's my step-sister.

I can't help it that she's totally hot. Really it's a guy thing, and she IS totally hot.

And she's just begging for it.

I mean she's wearing the shortest shorts ever.

They are so tiny it should be the law or something that every hot chick has to wear short like these.

Then she was wearing this silk black dress shirt where almost all the buttons, except for like the middle two or whatever, were open.

And she so wasn't wearing a bra. I KNOW, GOD I'M HORNY!

And you would be to.

So if I'm not mistaken, which I'm not cuz I'm Brad, she is so asking for it.

It's about freaking time she came around to the playful side.

I think there was drool hanging from my mouth, which is like normal cuz this, was hot.

"You've been a naughty boy, Bradley. Mom and Dad thinks I ought to teach you a lesson," god her voice was so sexy and seductive.

Seductive is a sexy word right?

God it would suck if it was like, I don't know, a word for gross or something. Anyway, back to the hot stuff.

I don't ever want to leave this room as long as she's in it.

PLEASE BE A LESSON WITH NO CLOTHES ON.

She tiptoes over to my bed, still walking totally hot.

She is like standing in front of my bed now, and I'm like still lying down.

You know what she does? Of course you don't, you suck. Whatever!

She climbs on the bed and straddles me.

You read that right, Straddles me.

I knew she'd eventually fall for my Brad Ackerman charm.

Cuz, I like, I totally rock. You know it don't deny it.

I am the hottest, most awesomest guy in the whole effin world.

If straddling isn't enough she starts rocking me.

Back and forth, and then she gets faster and faster.

And just as I'm about to rip that annoying black shirt off.

She screams my name, again and again.

I have my hands on her lower back, like trying to get my fingers in her shorts and she leans down right next to my ears, and in the weirdest voice, it sounded like a dude or something, she screams, "BRAD ACKERMAN, GET THE HELL UP FOR SCHOOL!"

My eyes snap open and I see Jake.

Yup it was all just a goddamn dream.

Oh well that just goes to prove I have the best freaking dreams ever. Right?

If it isn't bad enough that its Jake, I don't know what is. "Nice dream Buddy?"

"What the hell?" I ask, he just points to my boner and the mess of semen covering a patch of my bed.

Never mind I found something worse.

I had a wet dream, and we all know what happens when a guy has a flippin' wet dream.

I can't help that my dreams are the bestest and I get off on them.

Just adds to my awesome-o meter.

Yeah well now here's Jake teasing me about.

"Oh, and don't worry. I won't tell Suze you were screaming her name," I swear I turned totally red.

Don't call me a pansy, pink would be pansy. Red is not! IDIOT!

"Get the fuck out Jake!" I scream. He finally leaves. He does what I say.

Cause I'm the coolest guy in the world.

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING?