Author's Notes: This chapter is a LOT of talking. We're basically setting some future stuffs up. Hang in there! XD

Love or Blood

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Exchange

xxxx

I said nothing and the silence of the manor stretched uncomfortably. I fiddled with my skirt and tried my best to appear nonchalant. However my curiosity piqued at her words, and despite knowing better, I looked inquisitively at the woman behind me. "The Family Man?" I asked nervously, though I had an idea of whom she spoke of.

I peered up at her through my lashes as she nodded and pried herself from the pillar. The sparse light of the Count's bedchamber played across her strong yet feminine features. "Yep, he's got his eye on you, alright. Didn't know why at first, I figured you were just some floozy playing hard to get but now…I see it." She nodded approvingly to herself as she strode over to the sitting area by the fireplace. "You're pretty – beautiful, actually – and forbidden! Oh boy, it seems my dearest creepy Master loves a challenge."

My breath hitched but again I tried my best not to show it. I stood rigid, eyes wide. "He is y-your Master?" I stammered, feeling the utmost dread coil in the pit of my stomach. But Nerah Vlando simply flopped onto the Count's sofa and ran her hands over the fabric approvingly, not seeming to hear or perhaps care for my question.

"I know he's not the sanest man in all of Cyrodiil and I also doubt he has such fine furniture as your Count. But Speaker Lachance does have a point." Nerah trailed off as she got comfortable. Needless to say I was confused and worried as she spoke of Lucien Lachance. Images of that wicked smile of his stormed the forefront of my thoughts. I suppressed a shudder as I remembered his warm hand against my cheek and the feverish kiss he made me partake in.

Despite it though, I carefully approached her and sat in the Count's usual chair, not daring to share a seat with this woman on the sofa. If Lucien Lachance was indeed her Master than I doubted anything I said or did was sacred. Nerah shifted and then looked at me directly. "He does have something to offer you though, something that you might just find grander than all this." She continued, waving an arm about. "Gold cannot purchase your freedom, it would seem."

I felt my eye twitch as I stared hard at the woman before me. There was no doubt now that she was some sort of errant for the other assassin.

I thought she looked too comfortable draped on the couch as she spoke of such unpleasantness. My brow furrowed and I felt angry but did my best not to show it. "He spoke to you of me then?" I questioned as calmly as I could. Her eyes flicked away from me and she nodded.

"He sure did. I also have a habit of eavesdropping too. Tend to hear more than what I want most of the time." She shrugged. "He chattered to Vicente about you as well…and to a few others. Then Vicente told me, then my roommate spelled her hair red with illusion magic for Speaker Lachance, and now here we are."

I felt more than unsettled at the idea of my person being discussed within some Dark Brotherhood coven. I gulped and tried to appear normal and unafraid, whilst also disregarding her hair comments. "Can I ask what he has said?"

"Sure can. Hmmm, nothing extravagant, just that he wants me to persuade you to be more accepting of him and such. He gave me a letter for you too but he forbade me from telling Vicente of it. But judging by your face I'm guessing you'd rather have me ignite this message and his person, if possible." She smirked at my very cold appearance. "I have about as much love for the Family Man as you do. Don't bother trying to hide it; you're not good at it anyway." She sat up a bit and pulled the crumpled letter from her pocket and placed it on the table before us. "Frankly, I feel sorry for you. In more ways than one and that does not happen often."

As she spoke I eyed the familiar looking parchment with distain and reluctantly placed it in my lap. I could not let the Count know of this, he would be livid.

"Truly, you are in perhaps the shittiest of setups I ever beheld." She snorted, placing her elbows on her knees and chin in her hand. "My sinister Speaker wants to jump your bones. That in itself is enough to make me wanna' piss my pants. Sweet Mother, I do not envy you in the slightest." She leaned in closer. "Not to mention your enslavement! And your 'Master' is not only a vampire but he's perhaps the biggest dick I have ever encountered, both physically and figuratively, no less. Well, at least according to Vicente. Meh, men should not know the sizes of the others tackle."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. "Please Miss Vlando, is there any way I could possibly appeal to your goodwill and beseech you to stop your Master from continuing this nonsense?"

"Sorry, not enough goodwill in this girl to question Lucien's order. Nooope. However I do feel badly about your struggle so I won't try to persuade you to run off with my Speaker. But if he ever asks…just tell him that I did, or I'll be the one spelling my hair red. Yesh! Now I gotta' tell you, sex with that guy has got to be the stuff of nightmares." She laughed and shuddered. "There are places even I won't go. He happens to be at the top of that list."

Again I shook my head. This woman had me absolutely bewildered. How openly she spoke made me uncomfortable, as well as the topic of conversation. What she said about her Master mortified me. "H-he just forces himself on women then?" I stammered, faltering in my somewhat calm demeanor.

"Not exactly, no. Or at least I don't think that's the case. You see, he's the Family Man…err, I mean he holds a position of power within our ranks. Hmm. It's difficult to word things correctly to you. Vicente said I can speak to you freely but vaguely. Huh, if that's not a conundrum then I don't know what is."

I sighed, placed a cool hand to my brow and bowed my head. I felt so wronged. I did not know how or why the Gods had placed me in the position that they did, and despite me not wanting to believe in them, I was starting too. This struck me as so much more than simple coincidence. My mother told me everything happened for a reason but I could not fathom any reason, or at least any good ones. What good could possibly come from a Dark Brotherhood assassin harassing me and making threats upon my virtue?

"He really scarred you, didn't he?" I shook away from my worried fog to again see Nerah Vlando staring peculiarly at me. This time her face was more inquisitive than humorous. "Vicente said he did enough…didn't go much further than saying that though. Says your business is your own, which is strange for him because he does so enjoy gossip. It seems that Vicente has a platonic sweet spot for you, I think it's because you're important to your Count, I envy that. But what exactly did Lucien do? I wanna' know, for future reference, if I may."

This woman was very strange to me in more ways than one and I was not sure if I liked her or trusted her. Women have never been kind to me and I was quite positive that they never would be. Despite it though, Lucien Lachance being her Master made me pity her, whether or not she deserved it. So I swallowed hard and did my best elusive retelling. "At first he presented himself as a gentleman to me. Of course it had been daylight then. After dark when I was walking alone he…I'm not sure if he chased me or watched me run away to him, if that makes any sense."

As I suppressed a shudder Nerah scoffed. "It does make sense actually. He has a way of making you go to him whether you like it or not; whether you are entirely willing or not." She made a gagging sound before shuddering too. "Damn creepy man. But please, do continue."

I almost laughed at our so alike and unlike actions. For such a handsome man her Master had a way of repelling some women rather than luring them in. "After that he pulled me into an alley and did some disgusting things. I'm not comfortable talking about that though."

I played with my hair at her aghast expression. "Did he rape you in an alleyway? That is so horrifically him!"

"What?! No! I wasn't raped!" I said shaking my head violently. "It was not that extent of horrible, thankfully."

"But he would have, had Vicente not forbade him from going near you, which he did anyway!"

I did not like thinking about it or talking about it. I felt the little hairs on the back of my neck prickle and had to suppress another tremble. I knew her assumption was true and I found myself absentmindedly pressing my knees together as if in attempts to block out the unacted violence. "I-I should not speak about this to you. He is your Master and despite what he did I should not sully your relationship with him. I'm sure he has done much worse – I mean, I'm sorry. I-I won't speak of him to you. I should not."

"Wow. You won't speak ill of a possible rapist because he's my teacher? Now I don't know you from a hole in the wall but doesn't that seem passive? Really, really passive?"

"I-I don't know, perhaps it is. B-but I have no right to."

Nerah Vlando laughed at this. "I find you mysterious, Abigale Lynn. Usually pretty girls with big breasts often lack in the mental department, yet here you are! Although I question your judgment and perhaps your rationality a bit, you've got a brain…you think about everything. Not in the way normal people do though. I can sense it."

I was taken aback by her sudden and random observation of my person. I inched back slightly in my seat. Nerah Vlando looked a little too excited over herself for my liking. "I-I'm not sure how to respond to that."

"You see! There it is again! You play out your actions before you make them. But even then you question yourself. You've got some demons, eh? I can see it in your eyes. People aren't born like you, they build themselves up that way in order to survive, like a defensive tool." She sat back, looking even more pleased with herself. "I'm good at reading people."

"That sounds a bit more stimulating than the actual truth. I'm just a woman with social troubles. That is all." I said, stiff-necked and cool. It seemed everyone within their cult had very troubling and uncomfortable traits. I did not like being observed but Nerah Vlando seemed to thrive off of it. She looked at me, stared at me, as if waiting for something. But I did not know what she was waiting for so I simply cleared my throat and got back to the matter at hand. "I don't like talking about myself. But please, I know you don't owe me any favors but could you perhaps express my reluctance to your Master—"

"So what's it like being a slave for that terribly toothy man?" She interjected, making me blink at the randomness of it. "I can only imagine the things he makes you do."

I opened my mouth and closed it. "It's fine?" I began slowly, still a little perturbed. She knew I was a slave for the Count, she made that clear earlier. Vicente must have told her of my predicament. But I was for some reason troubled by the question. I was not only mildly insulted but something more that I could not name.

"How is it then? You know…with a vampire?" Nerah continued in a much lower voice.

"It's fine?" I said again, only this time one of Nerah's black brows slowly rose. "He's nice to me mostly, unless I upset him. Even then he is not so cruel."

This made her expression change dramatically. She winced, and held the look. "Do they all have power trips or something? 'Cause I've been trying to bed Vicente for ages but when it happens I have to be the one calling the shots or it's just no fun."

At this I felt my head slowly incline to the side as I looked her over peculiarly. "I-I don't think we're talking about the same things." I murmured still staring.

"Oh. Well I can be plainer! Hmm, how goes the necrophilia? Is it any good, meat hot or cold? Now that's always had me curious!"

Her words made me wince. There was no nobility in cursing or speaking in such a manner. Not to mention I was again presumed to be the Count's private whore. I hid my outrage well and smoothed my skirt out as gently as possible. "I am not the Count's whore, Miss Vlando. I am his maid, his servant and his personal assistant. I simply provide him company, I suppose."

"Wait, wait, wait you're telling me that you are literally his slave, correct? Yet he has not taken advantage of his ruling?" She started to clap her hands together and laugh. "What a gem he is then! Oh dear, men can be such fun!"

I was angry and nodded curtly to her. "Not all men are like your Master."

"Yeah, he sucks, but not like our vampires! Get it? Yeah, you get it." She chortled for a bit longer before continuing her favorite disturbing topic. "I was really hoping you could give me a little insight. Like I said, I've been trying to get Vicente to take me to his slab for…a month now? I've known him longer but I've only recently started giving it my all. I'm not accustom to rejection and I certainly don't like it."

"Well until this evening I was unsure if they even could have intercourse. I thought it possible but was never sure. I'm not too pleased with this information."

She laughed at this and hugged a throw pillow. "They talk don't they? Walk about, grab things, feel things, everything we do multiplied by a thousand and minus a pulse. So of course they can bump uglies!"

I shook my head and stood. "I apologize but I cannot take any more of this conversation. Excuse me." I went to walk away to the other side of the room only to find that I was being followed by the current person I wanted to get away from.

"What? You not used to talking so bluntly?" She asked, standing too close for comfort. I looked up at her tall form and prurient face and shook my head.

"No. I do not talk about intercourse with anyone, ever. It is not something to be flaunted."

She scoffed and scratched her head. "Guess that's where we differ then. You a prude?"

I was so astounded by her rudeness that I looked upon her with disbelief and shook my head. "As a matter of fact I am, yes." I sighed, feeling irritated and went to turn away again but she followed persistently.

"How old are you?" She asked, once more taking me off guard.

"Twenty one I think. What does it matter?" I felt cruel speaking to her so rudely as it was unlike me. But everything she said or asked me stung. I realized that I no longer knew my own age. I did not know the day, the exact month or any of the goings on outside of the Castle. I felt it a small price to pay for my happiness but it was all the same embarrassing.

"You don't even know how old you are?" She remarked sadly. I turned to her then to see genuine pity on her face. She cleared her throat and sought a change of subject. "Well I'm eighteen. It's pretty funny how I look older than you, huh?"

This shocked me also. I remembered my eighteenth year on the streets and felt morose by the memory alone. And here before me was a girl, one who was ruled by Lucien Lachance, and probably had blood on her hands. "You're only eighteen? You're just a child…" I felt ashamed for being so cruel to her. She was young and did not know any better.

"Yeah, I hear that one all the time. Honestly I'm just happy I got into the trade early. They say we young ones learn faster. And you're no spinster yourself, you know." She said wagging a finger at me. "Now this is purely my nosiness speaking, not Speaker induced mind you, but I've got to ask…Don't you miss all the fun out there?"

Then it was my turn to laugh though coldly, whether or not it was a 'Speaker induced' question. There was no enjoyment for me outside and the last trip to the market proved it. Still smiling, I reached out a hand and touched the large intricately carved bedpost at the foot of the Count's bed. "There is nothing for me out there anymore. All that I could ever desire is right here."

"But what of men?" She implored. "It is not your favorite topic, I know. But how can you stand and stare at the walls all day long and not let your mind wander? We are humans! You crave companionship just as I do. I'm just louder about it. You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that you do not miss the intimacy of men."

I sighed through my nose and closed my eyes. "Miss Vlando, you and I are not familiar enough to talk of such things together."

"Why not? It's the one thing that is on everyone's mind! We were put on Nirn to have sex! But for some strange reason we all try to hide it or feel ashamed by it. I'll just never understand. You're in such a precarious situation, I figured you out of all people would be a ball of sexual frustration and want to vent a bit. How can you not miss sex?"

She seemed morally outraged by my indifference. Perhaps she had a point. Maybe I was carrying on a meaningless existence because I wouldn't spread my legs. Maybe I was making the Gods angry by not procreating or sharing my whole self with another being.

I felt my cheeks redden and stomach sour. To know that this young woman before me had been with someone distressed me, for I was her elder, if only by a few years. I supposed it was a sort of primal indignation. I felt almost obligated to have more experience than her but I did not. "You cannot miss something you've never had, Miss Vlando." I huffed with pure ire, immediately regretting it the moment I did so once I saw her face.

XXXX

"Do you love me again, Janus?" Vicente asked wistfully as he lay upon the cool grass, staring up at the large black sky.

"Stop talking." The Count grumbled from a small clump of trees. A large limp silhouette could barely be seen beneath his hunched form.

A frigid breeze blew softly through Vicente's brown hair. The cold did not bother the vampires and in turn only made Vicente feel more content. He always felt much more alive with the wind on his face after feeding. "Now you know how impossible that is." The elder vampire chuckled as he turned to face the Count, only to cringe upon doing so. "You know," Vicente began uneasily. "You still are quite the messy eater."

Again Janus withdrew from his no longer struggling victim with his mouth bloodied and shirt saturated in red. His fangs were still released and shone vividly in the moonlight. The Count's hood was askew yet his eyes were so vibrantly red that they pierced through the blackness of his cloak. "If you have a problem with the way I am feeding than please go away, by all means." The Count dipped his head down to nourish again when Vicente threw a pebble in his direction. It bounced off of the limp persons' shoulder and landed in the grass.

"That one's dead." Vicente remarked flatly. "Keep eating and you'll get sick."

There was a moment of silence followed by an agitated huff. "Dead already?" Janus groaned as he dropped the now visible Nordic man. "Are you certain? I thought he moved a moment ago." He murmured and began prodding the body with his boot.

"More dead than you and I, friend." Vicente sighed contently. "Who would have thought Skooma dealers were camping right outside your walls. Some luck for us, Count Vigilante."

The Count scoffed and stepped over the Nord's bulky body. "You know I don't feed off the innocent, Vicente. So once again: if you have a problem, go away." Janus walked past Vicente and over to a small stream. He dowsed his face several times in the frigid water, it pooled neatly in his palms and each handful made his reflection less red.

Vicente stood and followed suit, needing much less rinsing than the Count. "I think it is noble, personally. Of course a bit of a hindrance though but that is the price of nobility. Anyway, regardless of my personal opinions I shall follow your rules whilst in your area." Janus only grunted at this. Vicente sighed, still feeling concerned for his friend and irrationally guilty about his entire reason for visiting him. "I…I cannot express my mortification and guilt adequately to you. Knowing that one of my own could have caused you any turmoil grieves me deeply. You know that to be true."

Again Janus only grunted, this time Vicente had to fight back the urge to push the grumpy Count into the water. He was truly apologetic and had expressed it as often as he could to him. Vicente had even found and hunted their meal with no qualms. He had also let the Count take the Nord despite being left with an Argonian for supper. Argonian certainly was an acquired taste, he thought.

Vicente stared hard at the profile of the much younger vampire and again felt remorseful. A man with so many demons did not need the current trouble Lucien Lachance had served up for him. "Well Janus, at least your ears have lost their points." He commented lamely with a shrug.

At least that got a reaction out of the Count as he reached up and touched the tip of his ear. "I was wondering what that was all about." He murmured as he again turned to face the stream and look at his reflection.

"It's stress and lack of actual feeding. The bottled stuff can keep you alive and well but it lacks certain elements that drinking from the living has. That coupled with your situation and current problems can lead to little points, like an elf. They look positively ridiculous, I'm afraid. But the more stress you bring upon yourself, the faster they will happen."

"I am surprised then that I don't have them permanently." Janus snapped, giving the vampire next to him a glare.

"Again, I am sorry about that!" Vicente snapped back, his fingers drumming idly on his knees. "My Brother's actions were his own. I cannot have complete control over my underlings, just as you do not have complete control of your County." Janus' face softened slightly and he turned his head away. Vicente inhaled deeply, despite not needing the air. "Look, I know the mental strife one can go through when having something of theirs…misused. Especially at your age, your possessiveness has only reached its peak. But you need to comfort yourself with the knowledge that she is yours and she is safe now."

Janus ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Fine, you are forgiven. But if I ever catch that little beastly boy of yours, I'll tear him to bits."

Vicente smirked and nodded. "We have a deal then. Oh, but next time you haul off and grab me I won't be submitting to you. I did that for politeness sake only."

"I figured that." The Count said solemnly as he continued to stare straight ahead, looking up at his large Castle only a few miles away. "Have you anymore word on the witches?" He asked Vicente coolly, taking the other vampire by surprise.

Vicente's humor had gone from him. He bowed his head and looked the Count over from the corner of his eye. "Not yet but the area has not been fully scouted. Still, I have utmost confidence of this location." The Count nodded and Vicente followed his line of sight back to the Castle. "Janus, I must ask…" The elder vampire shifted uncomfortably. In spite of being hundreds of years old, Vicente was still a man and loathed talking about his feelings. However tonight it needed to be done. "Have you decided on what it is that you are doing?"

Janus did not turn to look at Vicente but his voice was cold and his body rigid. "No Vicente, I have not yet decided if I am ready to kill my wife."

"Janus," Vicente closed his eyes. "You know as well as I that she is beyond help now. Reviving her will only cause more trauma -"

"More trauma to whom?" Janus seethed, turning angrily to face Vicente. "No matter what I do she shall be human again, I owe her that much. Do you honestly expect me to just stake my own wife, Vicente?"

"What?! By Sithis no! I was not speaking of Rona, Janus." Vicente exclaimed, his brows knotted. "I was only thinking of you."

"Don't think of me. However this plays, I am still the Count of Skingrad before anything else; marriage and vampirism come secondly to my duties as ruler. Whatever traumas I face I shall do so with all the dignity I can muster, if only for Skingrad."

Vicente knew Janus to be very tender on the topic of his county. He was proud of his home, as well he should be, but Vicente thought it more than dangerous to preside over an entire community as a vampire. Vicente knew his own limitations and that type of power could very easily go to a hungry vampires head. "Alright then, what of Abigale Lynn?"

Janus' head snapped to the side violently upon hearing her name. It made Vicente wince. "What about her?"

"Does she know any of this?" Vicente inquired.

Janus looked aghast as well as angry. "Why on Nirn would I tell her anything about my wife?" He demanded.

"Well, I know that you are intimate with her now. I thought you might have shared a thing or two."

At this the Count's shoulders slumped and his anger fell completely. "We have not been intimate, Vicente." Janus grumbled. In a way he felt embarrassed by the assumption. In another he felt annoyed.

"What? You haven't made a move? Told her anything?! But the energy in your bedchamber wall all over the place! It was nearly screaming sexual tension." Vicente exclaimed, still flabbergasted that he had read signals and energy wrong.

"I'm afraid the tension is my own." Janus rubbed his face tiredly, looking exasperated. "I…I almost did something tonight, but I'm not sure what. I must've over slept or over drank. Gods, I feel like a madman."

"Almost did something?" Vicente probed, feeling slightly worried.

"Yes. Nothing bad, at least I don't think. I just want her, Vicente…I want her in ways I cannot put to words. I don't know what it is. I don't understand my own desires anymore." The Count bowed his head. "I think and dream of her. I let her sleep in my bed, I want her near me always. Of course I lust for her but it runs far deeper than that. I just want her. I feel that I am developing a physical need for her companionship. I look for any excuse just to touch her and—"

"Sweet Mother, down boy!" Vicente laughed nervously. "You are a vampire, Janus! You've claimed this mortal girl as your own but you have never slept with her or fed on her. Most vampires cannot mark a mortal until one of these actions are done." Janus rubbed his temples as Vicente continued. "You care for her, pine for her intimately, long to taste her blood, and you've marked her." Again Vicente laughed nervously. "Your self-control is truly remarkable. But, you need to exert this wild energy before you bubble over and have a…accident. You are young and will things will turn ugly if you don't just lay your cards on the table and tell Abigale Lynn of your affections."

"What if she denies me?" Janus asked anxiously. "What am I to do then? I don't think I could take no for an answer at this point."

"Well you will have to. Unless of course, you try other manners of persuasion."

xxxx

Nerah and I were seated again back in our previous positions. This time however, the questions were a bit different. After my embarrassing outburst I had to sit down and she had followed me. At first we sat awkwardly, and then she began to talk and ask me questions. Despite the topic still surrounding intercourse she was much less crass about it.

"I just cannot wrap my mind around it. You're a virgin! Wow…it's like seeing a unicorn. What's the most you've even done?" She asked me excitedly, sitting on the edge of the sofa.

"I cannot answer that, it's embarrassing." I said while shaking my head at her.

"Okay," Her face crumpled, then she beamed like a child at the new question forming in her mind. "Have you ever seen a man naked? Stark naked and ready for lovin'?"

I shook my head again and smiled a bit. "No I never have."

Nerah looked absolutely astounded. "Sweet Mother, you're missing out!" She pursed her red lips and scratched her head. "Okay, have you ever seen what's beneath a man's trousers then?"

This time I bit my lip and nodded.

"Really, you did?! Oh thank Sithis! But wait, what kept you from doing anything with it?" She was again very puzzled. I did not want to answer her this time as it was very embarrassing. I thought back to when I still lived in Anvil, just a young girl of fifteen, trying desperately to scoot away from the anxious man on my sofa. The man, Mister Thomas, had a habit of calling on me despite knowing I did not like him. He was a handsome man and very young. He enjoyed coming into my home uninvited when I was alone or with the children.

He was in no way cruel but very much out of line, I had only been too nervous and shy to tell him this. Mister Thomas thought himself something special. It seemed only I resisted his pursuits and told him to put back on his pants. He was quite insulted and embarrassed.

Strangely looking back made me smile. "I did not like him." I said while trying to hide a smile.

"Oh, I gotcha! He wasn't very impressive?" It was odd at first but we both began to laugh. Of course she would think something like that, but I was simply amused by the memory of the expression on his face.

Just then loud and boisterous talking filled the outside hall. The door to the Count's bedchamber flew open; the two missing vampires strode in happily.

In a second I was up and out of the Count's chair. I was eager and ready to approach him but stopped immediately once I noticed his state of dress. The Count and Vicente were still cloaked, hoods up. But what I could see of the Count's tunic made me gulp. It was stained red, very red, and crimped in certain areas. I knew the Count had left to…feed, but it still shocked me to see him stained in another's blood. My heart began to race and no sooner had its pace quickened did both vampires heads turn to me in unison.

Author's Notes: Did not want to end this chapter here but it was getting too long! This thang' is eleven pages long! I think it's the longest chapter yet AND it was longer! But I broke it off and am already nearly finished with the next instalment. Harr harr!