WHTMT - chapter 16

oooooooooooooooooo

Kara turned around slowly, hardly daring to believe what she'd heard. It must be my imagination, she thought, shutting her eyes and forcing her suddenly racing heart to slow. The sound of ships engines filled her ears and she looked up to see a dozen raptors overhead. She spun her head around quickly, hope surging in her breast again.

Lee's smiling face looked down at her. "Hey," he said softly. "Long time no see."

"Lee ..." was all could she could manage as she stood slowly.

Lee's deep blue eyes drifted from her face down to take in her swollen belly.

"Kara, you're ..." he said, looking stunned.

" ... pregnant. I know." She ran a loving hand over her stomach, making the loose sweater pull tight over the round swell.

Lee shook his head in surprise. "I'm ... I'm ... surprised. I never thought you'd ..."

"You've been gone a long time," she said softly, walking up to him and stopping close, very close. "I'm glad you're still alive."

"Likewise," he said, giving her an awkward smile. This wasn't quite the reunion he'd been imagining - her running happily into his arms, telling him how sorry she was for leaving him ... telling him she loved him and always had ... Romantic old fool, he berated himself. You know full well Kara's not going to do that. She doesn't love you, never has. Just because you love her and are free to be with her now doesn't mean she feels the same. Hell, she's carrying his child now! A wave of sadness washed over him but he pushed it aside. It really was good to see her alive.

He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, surprising her. She responded though and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in the curls on his neck. He obviously hadn't had a haircut in a while. Nor has he exercised in quite a while, she thought as his arms tightened around her waist and pulled her close against him. He was decidedly a little chubbier than she remembered him.

As Lee pulled her closer, he felt the swell of her belly against his lower belly and groin. The fact that she was pregnant hadn't really sunk in till he realized their bodies didn't fit perfectly together the way they always had before. The baby squirmed hard enough for him to feel the movement, and a sudden stabbing pain hit him in the chest. I wish the baby inside of her was mine. Lee buried his face in her hair, blinking back the tears. If he hadn't been confused about his feelings before, he sure was now.

He'd loved Dee, and in a way was still mourning her as he missed seeing her everyday. But he'd never felt the desire to marry her or have children with her, even though she'd hinted at it delicately a few times before things went sour with them.

Truth be told, he hadn't ever really wanted kids at all. It wasn't that he didn't like them, he just didn't think he was the fatherly type, and he knew from bitter experience that kids needed fathers. He was more of a career-oriented person, like his own father, and had always figured Zack would be the one who had the family.

He'd been devastated to find out that his longtime girlfriend Gianne, who'd always said she was happy not having children, was pregnant. Lee had been appalled. He'd just been promoted to Lieutenant and was being stationed off Caprica for the first time and he knew he couldn't do what his father had done - be the absentee dad. So he'd ended it in a hurry, hoping she'd find some other nice guy who'd take care of her and the baby.

It was only much later when he accidentally ran into a friend of hers when he was on a forty-eight hour leave that he found out she'd gotten pregnant intentionally, hoping to force him to quit the military and stay with her. The shock and disappointment of him leaving her had caused her to have a miscarriage though and she'd left Caprica, hoping to start a new life elsewhere. Lee had wanted to find her, to apologize, but he hadn't been able to, and a few months later the cylon attack had happened and none of that was possible any longer.

So why now? Why with Kara? Why did the thought of marrying her and having children with her sound like the best thing he'd ever heard?

His hands caressed her back and sides, and he realized for the first time just how thin she'd become. The overly large clothing she wore hid her figure well, but Lee could tell she'd lost a lot of weight. He was about to ask her if she was okay, when a sudden fit of coughing seized her and wracked her painfully. She pulled away and continued to cough, doubling over and nearly retching. When she was done, she clutched at her stomach and gasped for air.

"Are you alright?" Lee asked worriedly, putting his arms around her and helping her back up.

"I'm fine," she said weakly, trying to pull away from him.

"No you're not," Lee argued, face etched with concern.

"Yes I am. It's just a little cold. It's nothing." Then she collapsed into another fit of coughing.

Lee flung his arms around her again and pulled her against him for support. "Where's the doc?"

Kara shrugged. "Dunno. Haven't seen him lately," she answered between coughs.

"We're going to find him," Lee said firmly, picking her up and carrying her towards what was left of their small city. Kara didn't protest. Instead her arms went up around his neck and held on as if she would never let go.

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Roslin was busily discussing plans with the Chief when something unusual caught her eye. A figure, bulky and odd looking, staggering across the field towards them. For a moment she panicked, then her rational mind took control. Galactica was back, people who wanted to were being evacuated from the planet, and the cylons couldn't possibly have come back without someone doing something about it.

She squinted at the figure, watching it slowly come into focus. Her jaw dropped. "Oh ... my ... gods," she said slowly, and Tyrol pulled his eyes away from the plans he'd been drawing up to follow her gaze. "I can't believe it," Roslin said, and a wide grin broke out on her face as the figures - there were two of them she could see now - drew close.

"Captain Apollo," she said warmly. "I mean, Commander," she corrected herself.

Lee allowed himself a small smile too. "It's good to see you too Madam President," he said without thinking.

"Laura, it's just Laura now," she said. "I'm glad you're okay. It's good to see you back here."

Kara coughed again, writhing in Lee's arms. For the first time Roslin appeared to notice her, and the smile dropped.

"Where's the doc?" Lee asked shortly.

"Is she okay?" Roslin asked worriedly. "I know she's been doing too much, and what with her imprisonment ..."

Lee's eyebrows rose but he filed that away for later exploration. "No she's not. I'm no expert but her lungs sound terrible. I'd say there's a good chance she's got pneumonia."

Roslin looked shocked. "I had no idea ..."

"Yeah well, that's Kara all over. Never tells anyone when she needs help."

Kara smacked him weakly on the back. "Put me down. I'm fine."

"No you're not," Lee said emphatically. "I'm taking her back to Galactica," he said to Tyrol and Roslin, "find the doctor and send him right away."

"If he's alive," Tyrol put in quietly. "We haven't seen him since before the first attack."

"Find him," Lee repeated sternly, sounding exceptionally like his father, Roslin noted.

She nodded and the two of them disappeared into the tent and rubble village.

Kara struggled and Lee reluctantly put her down, puffing as he did so.

"A little out of shape are we?" she quipped.

Lee gave her a curious look. "Well, I haven't had my running partner around lately," he said, trying to keep his tone light to match hers.

They stared at one another for a long moment then Kara turned away and started walking towards the closest raptor.

"Are you okay to walk?" Lee called out solicitously after her.

"Fine. It's not far."

Lee caught up to her and they walked in silence for a few moments.

"So um ... congratulations on the baby," he said, a little uncomfortably. Kara just nodded. "Where uh ..." Lee looked around. "Where's the lucky dad-to-be?"

"He's dead," she stated flatly.

Lee turned to face her and stopped walking. "He is?"

She looked at him as if he were about three years old. "It was his grave you found me at."

Lee flushed deeply. "I um ... didn't notice."

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I was too busy staring at you," he admitted frankly. "I scarcely dared hope you were still alive and well ... there were so many crosses, I figured ... it could have been anyone's." He flushed a deeper red as he finished stammering through his sentence.

"Well, it was his." She turned away and kept walking, shoulders squared proudly.

As the realization hit Lee, shame spread throughout his body. Sam had had pneumonia. Kara had asked for his help. He'd refused. Consequence? He had been responsible for Sam's death. His whole body flushed hotly with shame. It was a wonder she was even speaking to him.

"Kara, I'm so, so sorry," he broke out, following a few steps behind her. "It's all my fault. When you called for help, I should have ..."

She stopped dead. "It wasn't the pneumonia that killed him."

Lee caught up to her and stood in front of her, a quizzical look on his face. "It wasn't?"

"They came for me. After I escaped from the farm on Caprica, Sharon told me I had a destiny - that there was something special about me and that they wouldn't rest till they'd found me again. Well, they did." She paused a took a deep breath. "He wouldn't let them take me. He'd have done anything to stop them if he could have, but they shot him in order to get to me."

Lee's face had gone chalk white. "My gods, I never knew ..."

"Of course you didn't," she said sadly. "You weren't here."

She could see the regret shining in his eyes like a beacon. "I didn't want to go - I wanted to stay. To fight, to be with y ... to fight them with you."

"I wish you'd been here too." Tears glistened in her eyes. "Apollo and Starbuck - we've always been an unbeatable team."

Lee reached out a hand and took hers gently. "And always will be." Their eyes met and something unspoken passed between them.

"Come on, let's get you to Galactica," he said in a voice that was almost loving. He turned and began to walk towards the raptor again, keeping his hand linked with hers. I'm never letting you go again Kara, he thought, squeezing it gently.

She squeezed back and he felt his heart soar with happiness. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

TBC