WHTMT - chapter 18

ooooooooooooooooo

Adama appeared to age visibly as Lee broke the news to him. He sat down on the couch in his office and covered his eyes with a hand. Lee suspected it way his way of hiding tears - Adamas didn't cry, especially not in front of anyone else.

After a long while, he broke the silence. "This is a tough situation." No kidding dad, you're a real master of the obvious, Lee thought.

"We have to go with Kara's wishes, you know that," Lee reminded him.

Adama looked at him pointedly. "Even when it means they'll both die?"

Lee nodded stubbornly.

"I thought you'd do anything to save her," Adama said reproachfully.

"I would!" Lee exploded back. "But you don't know her like I do - if we kill her baby, she'll never forgive us."

"I think I know her as well as you do," Adama said, a touch frostily. "I was the one who was here for her after Zack's death. I've seen her go through guilt, anger, despair ... she's a very resilient woman. She'll get through it."

Lee's jaw set resolutely. "She would take her own life ... after killing me of course."

"You really think she'd do that?" Adama asked. "I don't."

"She's changed dad. She's not the same Starbuck who left us."

"And you know this from the brief chat you had on New Kobol?" He asked somewhat sarcastically.

"i know her dad," Lee said simply. "She's changed. Besides, as long as she's coherent enough to understand the situation and make her own decision, it's up to her."

"And when that changes?"

Lee sighed. "Let's cross that bridge when we get there."

Adama shook his head. "I can't believe you're willing to just let her die when we have the means to save her."

Lee stood angrily. "I would move every one of the twelve colonies and that miserable rock down there if it would keep her alive just one day! But I've frakked up enough with her already and I'm not doing it anymore! Time after time I've had chances to be good to her, to be what she needs, and every time I've been selfish and ended up hurting her. I won't do it again," he said firmly. He flushed bright red. "I'm sure you're fully aware of the fact that I love her and I would give my own life to save her if it would."

"I hope it doesn't come to that," Adama said softly. "Our girl is tough - maybe she'll make it without needing anyone's help this time."

"I intend on helping her in any way I can, but I want to make sure that they both survive. I know she'll never forgive me if the baby dies, and quite frankly I'll never forgive myself either."

So it was decided that they'd both go talk to her and find out if she was still capable of making the decision herself. They both prayed she was.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ishay gave them a small smile as they walked into Lifestation together several hours later.

"She just woke up a short while ago," she said. "She's weak but she was able to eat a little and will be able to visit for a few minutes."

"Thank you," Adama said warmly, and she knew he was not only thanking her for the information but also for doing her best to keep Kara alive.

Kara smiled weakly as the two Adama men entered her cubicle area. They were two of her favourite people and she'd missed them greatly in the months they'd been separated.

Adama walked over to the bed and laid a hand gently on her hair. "How are you doing?"

"I've seen better days," she rasped quietly, beginning to cough once again. Every time she tried to talk it stirred up the mucous in her chest and it both itched and ached horribly. Still, these were people she loved and she wanted to be about to talk to them at least a little. She'd sorely missed it.

"Kara," Lee began. "We need to talk to you."

Her eyes turned to Lee as he spoke. His face was grave and pale. The twinkle in his eyes was missing and he looked ... afraid. Kara knew immediately what he was referring to, having overheard a good chunk of the conversation earlier. Her lower lip began to quiver.

Lee stared into her eyes and as he spoke, watched a veil of fear and sadness drop over them. His chest ached like a vise grip pinching his heart ever tighter.

"Don't kill the baby, please," she whispered, eyes filling with tears.

"But Kara, the only way to ensure you get better is to give you this medication."

She shook her head. "No, I don't want my baby to die," she beseeched, laying both arms protectively over her stomach.

"If we don't give it to you, you might not get better. And then ... " The lump in Lee's throat grew and nearly prevented him from finishing. " ... then you might both die."

The tears spilled down her cheeks in two neat rows. "I won't. I can't. I'm Starbuck, remember?" She gave a small, lopsided smile. "Starbuck and Apollo - we never die." She reached for Lee's hand and he took it. "You'll save me won't you? You always do."

Lee blinked back a flood of tears he wished he could shed. If only his father weren't here, he'd take her in his arms, cry with her and promise her absolutely anything.

"I will," he choked out. "I promise." To hell with what his father thought - he sat on the bed beside her and put his arms around her. Her arms came up around his neck and squeezed gently. He could feel her tears dripping down his neck beneath his uniform jacket. That caused whatever restraints he had to break and his tears were freed as well. He buried his face in her somewhat long hair, hoping his father wouldn't notice.

He didn't seem to, or if he did, didn't make any reference to them. He put a hand on Kara's back briefly as she sobbed on Lee's shoulder. "We'll do whatever we can to save your baby Kara. In the meanwhile, get some rest and get better."

She nodded, still clinging to Lee as another fit of coughing wracked her slender frame.

"I'll see you later Commander," he said to Lee. Somehow it had the feeling of being an order even though on the surface it seemed like an innocent comment.

"Yes sir," Lee whispered, not quite trusting his voice.

They sat together for a time until Kara's tears and coughing subsided, then Lee got her a drink of water and a wet cloth to wipe her tear-stained face.

"Don't let our baby die," she whispered after taking a long drink.

Our baby. She said 'our', Lee thought. Hers and Sam's. Yes, it was their baby, much as Lee wanted to live in denial and pretend it was his. She does love him, and now that she's lost him, it's only natural she wants to preserve whatever she has left of him.

"I won't," he assured her, knowing as he made it, that that was a promise he shouldn't be making. There was no guarantee he could keep it.

She began to look tired, and her eyes began to shut in longer and longer blinks. Lee knew he should go and let her rest.

"Do you want me to go now?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "Stay," she whispered, and shut her eyes.

Lee took her hand and squeezed it gently, laying them entwined on the bed beside her.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Roslin stood at the doorway of her school tent, smiling as she watched her students leave. It had been a bittersweet day for her; it was the first day the children had come back for lessons since the cylon occupation, but there were much fewer of them now, as many were either dead or still missing.

Something caught her eye - the glint of the sun reflecting off of something moving towards her. As always, her heart seemed to stop for a moment, then she realized what it was. A person dressed in full military uniform, the buttons on his broad chest reflecting the lowering sun's rays.

William Adama.

Her smile broadened even as one cracked his normally impassive face. He stopped and they stood assessing one another for a moment.

"Bill," she said warmly, eyes sparkling happily.

"It's good to see you Laura," he said gruffly, looking a bit awkward. Roslin impulsively stepped forward and put her arms around his neck.

"It's good to see you too," she said, giving him a squeeze. He returned the hug.

They pulled apart and she led him into the now empty tent where they sat talking of this and that and nothing in particular for a short while. Then there was silence as neither of them knew how to broach the deeper subjects that lie waiting before them.

"You had a rough time of it here, but it seems you held your own," Adama started.

Roslin nodded. "Your Captain Thrace is a very remarkable woman. She was the one who got us through this. If it weren't for her we wouldn't have beat them."

"That she is," Adama agreed firmly. "I just hope she'll survive long enough to see things rebuilt and life back to normal."

"Is she that bad?" Roslin asked worriedly.

Adama sighed. "I'm afraid so."

Her face grew dark with anger. "If I could kill every last one of their shiny, metal asses ..."

Adama started in surprise. "Laura, I never thought you'd be one for such violence."

"Have you talked to her?" she demanded.

Adama shook his head. "She's not up to talking more than a word or two."

"They took her," she exploded. "They were planning on killing her baby and using her for more of their hybrid experiments. The gods alone only know what happened to her in the few days they had her."

Adama looked down at his feet and sighed again. "At least the baby is fine. We're not sure she's going to make it though."

Roslin's hands balled into fists. "If she doesn't, I'll ... I'll ... I don't know what I'll do."

"I know what you can do," he said softly. Her eyes met his questioningly. "Come back with me and lead us again. Baltar's gone and there's no one else to take over."

She shook her head.

"There's no one else," he said imploringly, "and much as you may not have liked the job, you were fantastic at it."

"I have another life now. Teaching was my first love and I'm happy to be back at it."

"There won't be many students though. From what I can tell a lot of people are spooked and want to get off the planet. The repopulation of the fleet is far greater than I would ever have expected it to be."

"I don't blame them a bit," she said, " but that life was tough. I never wanted it, never thought I'd have to do it, and quite frankly I'd be happy never doing it again."

"And this is the woman who tried to steal the election so she could remain president?" he said jocularly.

"You know I only did that because I knew what a disaster it would be to have him in charge," she said disapprovingly. "And see how it all turned out?" She spread her arms wide in illustration.

"I know. I was just kidding you."

She smiled. "I've missed that."

"Me too."

There was a small silence as their eyes met.

"Please come back with us. We need you Laura. You're my balance - you keep the other side of things running smoothly."

She seemed to think about that for a moment before answering.

"I might be willing, if I could find someone to replace me soon. Someone I choose to be my successor and follow me."

"That's not exactly democratic," he objected. "But considering what happened last time we let the people choose, I'm behind you."

She smiled, and Adama's eyebrow raised. "You have anyone in mind?"

"I believe I do, Admiral, but I'll need a few days to work things out and decide what to do about my school."

"I'll be waiting to hear from you then."

She smiled again. "Goodbye Bill. Thanks for coming to visit." She laid a hand on his cheek briefly and met his eyes. "I've missed you," she whispered.

He took her hand and clasped it in his own large one, pulling it to his mouth and giving it a kiss. "Likewise."

As he got up and headed back to his ship, Roslin wondered how she was going to work out all the details and juggle everything without screwing it all up. She also wondered how it was he'd managed in just a few minutes to convince her to do something she'd sworn never to do - give up doing what she loved to do a job she despised.

There must be something special about William Adama. She only wished she knew what it was.

TBC