Author's Notes: Holidays are over! YAY! Ehem, before we get started I have a special response to Cyclone ('special' because I try not to present my reviews…it makes me feel dirty! Like I'm a reviewer prostitute or an Adman…AND WHAT IF I FOGET SOMEONE?! I'd be crushed… XDXD) Anyway, Cyclone had mentioned the story always taking place inside of the Castle. This is true…for now…that is all…I am full of…mystery...XD PS I DID NOT PROOFREAD THIS CHAPTER. 8D8D ENJOY?

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M.

Love or Blood

Chapter Thirty-eight: Tension

XXXX

The Count had been stunned silent for the remainder of the evening. Abigale Lynn had left several hours ago leaving him to his thoughts. The two of them had made a deal – one which made the Count most uncomfortable. He was still having trouble wrapping his mind around the entire arrangement. Janus was most grateful to her for her forgiveness, but he could not fathom why she would ever want to relive being fed on by a vampire. The whole ordeal had been a horrific nightmare for her.

And so Janus sat on in his bed with his thoughts racing a mile a minute. He drew several conclusions as to why she would want him to feed off of her. It was as she said: she would not fear it as it would be expected. Still, the Count could not help but think there was more to it than that. However he was not going to question her order. Despite the awkward position that it was to put him in he would do it. He did not wish to re-experience any part of that evening…but for Abigale Lynn he would.

He felt lowly, so much so that words could not express his current state of mind. At one point in the evening he had sent for Hal-Liurz. He asked her to have Rona's chambers fixed. New furniture was to be ordered but he was no longer going to visit his wife. He saw now how horrible of a man Rona's state and his vampirism could shape him into. He could become violent and hurt the ones he cared for.

No. He would not go back to the chamber of fate for some time.

After all that was settled he hastily wrote to his friend, Vicente Valteri. He spared no details of his awfulness and beseeched the elder vampire for his wisdom. Had he listened to Vicente in the first place all just might have been avoided. But no, he had been a hurt fool. His actions and now the repercussions disgusted him. He was repulsed by his own reflection.

More time passed and the Count grew restless. He left his chambers and began stalking the corridors, particularly outside of Abigale Lynn's room. Just hearing her heartbeat and breath through the very solid stone comforted him somehow. He placed his hand upon the wall and again fought back tears. He knew that she needed time to heal and a part of him wished that she would not rush this new arrangement they had made. But she was forceful and passionate about the idea. She condescended to touch and forgive him.

Still, knowing that he had almost lost her made him rush back to his room. He could not see through the sanguine tears that kept fogging his vision. A world without Abigale Lynn was not a world he wanted to know.

xxxx

Hal-Liurz had met me outside of the Count's bedchamber last night. I gave her a brief and vague outline of what had transpired between the Count and me. She was pleased with what I had told her, though I noticed a certain unmistakable gleam in her eye. She knew that there was more to the story but thankfully she did not pry.

Back in my new bedroom, Tualga had awakened and fixed me a strong sleeping draught. They had offered to take shifts watching me. Though I was tempted I declined and opted for locking the door and pushing a chair in front of it instead. I still did not trust the Count fully, and though it may have been foolish to think I could lock out a vampire with keys and furniture, I still gave it a go. Better safe than sorry.

I had settled in and took the elixir they had left me and drank it greedily. Usually I was more finicky over concoctions, no matter who crafted them, but this time I was just grateful for it. I wanted more sleep. I needed more sleep.

Once I had polished off the drink I settled back into bed and replayed the Count's words until sleep took me. And I was ever so grateful when it did.

xxxx

It was past midday when I awoke from my much needed slumber. I was saddened by the small ticking clock, showing me that I only had several hours before I was to see the Count again. It felt as though I only blinked and was to be forced back into his presence.

I sighed and stood. The room was dark and quiet. I lit all candles and retrieved the tub that Hal-Liurz had put away the night before. I magically filled it with hot steamy water and began to undress. My stomach growled angrily as I stripped, but I tried my best to ignore it. Before I entered the tub I retrieved some soaps from one of the cabinets beside a decorative water basin. I passed a long mirror and paused to observe my nakedness.

I looked well rested; my eyes were bright and my cheeks were once again a rosy pink. A small cut adorned my lip from me having bitten it so roughly, but it was healing and hardly noticeable. Upon my neck were still the two little holes from the Count's fangs. They too had already begun to heal but itched terribly. The mark on my shoulder had started to fade, but still it burned every now and then, especially when I thought about it.

Placing the soaps at my feet, I strode closer to the mirror. So many thoughts raced through my head as I stared at my reflection. I saw a woman. She looked proud, but I knew her to be meek. She could have been wise, but her eyes were filled with questions. Her body was developed but she knew not of its inner workings. All was a contradiction that made me wonder: what was so special about me? Why was I wanted?

I always thought that beauty was in the eyes of the beholder. What is pleasing to some may repulse others. I found it hard to believe that I was somehow 'blessed' by Dibella. I had seen many other naked women. Some had larger breasts and hips, some darker skin, others had fuller bodies and some had frailer ones, and all were beautiful in their own way. Would an Orc who only desired Orcish females want to come near me? I was small, soft and pale. I was the very opposite of an Orchish women, so I doubted it.

But the words of Molag Bal hummed in my head like an angry wasp. What if there was something different about me?

I shook my head and quickly gathered the soap by my feet and clambered into the tub. My shoulder again began to burn but I tried desperately to ignore it as I scrubbed. I began to inspect myself further out of curiosity. My body was nearly hairless…I had always assumed it was because of my pigments. I noticed that my arms and legs were devoid of hair, something I had for years overlooked. But that proved nothing. I examined my hands and feet. I wiggled my toes curiously with a skeptical glare. Again, I found nothing special.

I eventually gave up my search and finished my bath. I had just started to dry myself when a knock came from the door.

I grabbed my robe and quickly wrapped it around myself in a flurry of panic. There were only so many people it could be and one of those few I did not want to see me wet and naked. I quickly composed myself and approached the door. "W-who is it?" I called, keeping a hand flush against the wood as though trying to feel who was on the other side.

"It's me miss Lynn…Tualga."

"Oh," I murmured as I fiddled with the door locks and invited her in. Tualga carried a tray laden with food. Her expression was nervous very much unlike her usual demeanor. It seemed everyone in Castle Skingrad was shaken. Oddly enough it was nice to know that I was not alone. She entered the room, still forcing a smile and placed the tray of food down on the small dining table in the corner. She began pouring tea, and I found her large Nordic build hunched over the small porcelain strange. "I can do that." I offered, inching closer. I was so used to seeing Tualga work and clean with a fury and strength that only Nords possessed. She looked uncomfortable and out of place.

"All under control here, my Lady," She said with false cheeriness. "Supper tonight is Boeuf Bourguignon…? I think that's how the chef said it. I think he's trying to appeal to your half Breton blood, eh?"

I blinked and eyed the meal. "Is everyone else getting this too?"

"No, my Lady," She said as she finished laying out cutlery. "The Count wants you to eat the finest." Tualga then strode past me and went to one of the closets. I watched confusedly as she rummaged through the wardrobes and produced several garments. "What would you like to wear this evening, Miss Lynn? Oh! Erm, I mean, my Lady?"

"Tualga please stop all of that. What is going on? Why are you trying to dress me?" I asked incredulously. She only stood and fidgeted for a moment. I found this strange as well. It was usually me doing all the squirming.

Tualga sighed heavily and scratched the back of her neck. "It's…damn, I'm not supposed to tell you." She fretted, "If the Stewardess finds out she'll have my head." She glanced about the room shiftily and urged me to come closer. "I feel terribly for you, Lynn. I can't tell you just how badly I do. Everything has changed now because of what happened between you and him. But he has given his orders and we are to follow them to the letter. You're not a servant anymore; he's named you a Lady of Skingrad."

"What is a Lady of Skingrad?" I asked while wrinkling my nose at the term, already knowing that I was not going to be pleased with its definition.

"It's like a Stewardess but more…It's hard to explain and there is a lot of paperwork involved. But I take orders from you now and I have to serve you as nobility. It's the Count's orders and the Stewardess is enforcing them. The other girls think that the Count sent you away on his behalf for Mages Guild duties."

I was finding all she told me very hard to grasp. I simply shook my head as she continued.

"But that's not the…there is some news that's rather upsetting. Rheena's gone. Hal-Liurz sent her away early. I know it was the right thing to do with her being pregnant and all. She should not be in such a dangerous place." Tualga bowed her head. Her eyes were glassy and I felt myself ache at the thought of Rheena's absence. She and Tualga were there for me since I was forced into their charge. Rheena had clothed me…"But she is gone now to Bruma and I doubt we'll ever see her again. It's for the best."

"I…I can't believe it." I murmured as I fought to keep composure.

"Aye, I'll miss that stubborn girl for the rest of my days. She's promised to write at least. She so wanted to say goodbye to you, Lynn. But we just couldn't risk it." I too bowed my head. I understood completely but I wished I could have said my farewells.

We were quiet for some time as we both mulled over our new predicaments and the loss of a friend's companionship. All was foreign and strange. This new world felt alien to me. "Your foods getting cold Lynn," Tualga eventually pointed out. I eyed the eccentric food and sighed. All was very strange indeed.

Time had passed very slowly as I sat alone in my new room. Tualga had brought me cards and my old embroidery from the Maids Quarters. She stayed for a while and played a few hands with me. We spoke idly together as I stitched pretty pink flowers into the linen. I was doing my best to ignore the ever present ticking of the wall clock.

She had left, brought me back more food, and suggested that I visit the library. I did not give the idea much thought. Despite having full permission to roam I was not fond of the notion, I had no desire to leave my room.

Tualga also showed me the hidden cord at my bedside and explained its workings to me. If I needed anything all I had to do was pull the cord and Tualga would come. It wasn't complex but I was still in awe. Knowing that I was to have someone awaiting my chime was strange.

Eventually she had to leave and I was left alone. I had long since dressed and eaten and had no desire to deal myself a lonely hand of cards. So I sat in silence, running my fingers over the smooth wooden surface of the table I was seated at. The clock continued to tick, reminding me of the pass of precious time. Soon I was to leave and see the Count. I was to willingly knock upon his door and ask for him to bite me again. The mere thought made me shudder.

XXXX

Janus was ready for her, or as ready as he could be for such an act to prepare for. He was clean, the room was orderly, and he had taken the liberty of gathering a few potions as well. He hoped they would provide some length of comfort. One elixir was to heal but it was very mild brew. Janus recalled a time where he had accidently given Abigale Lynn an exceedingly strong potion. She had almost literally been knocked off her feet at its potency. He would not make the same mistake twice.

The other potion was one of utmost importance. It cured disease. Sadly, the Count had never learned how to control the passing of his vampiric virus. He rarely left alive those whom he fed upon – as they were normally thieves and vagabonds. The times when he spared life were awkward. He would have to force-feed a nearly unconscious person the vial of cures. Janus took no chances and he loathed the entire process of disease prevention. Thus, he sated his thirst with the rabble. Skingrad thrived more so because of this.

And Abigale Lynn would now benefit the fruits of Skingrad too. He would share all his wealth and time with her, if she would have him. He would be at her beck and call as good as any servant. He needed to prove himself worthy of her sacrifice. He needed to make amends for his abusiveness and weakness.

Janus eyed the room before him nervously. He wondered where this 'feeding' would take place. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. But he also needed to speak to her about some very important facts beforehand…

Then, right before he could even dread the inevitable discussion, Abigale Lynn knocked on his door. The Count stiffened for a moment, feeling apprehensive, but then made his way hastily over to invite her in.

He pulled the door open and beheld the young woman. She looked beautiful, she always did. She was dressed finely in the new clothing he had purchased for her. The gown was a deep burgundy that contrasted against her milk-white skin. She had opted for a very low-cut neckline. It was a considerate choice due to circumstance.

Her hair was in its usual ponytail but she had abandoned her little green ribbon and used instead a black bow. It effectively kept her hair neater, again a considerate choice.

She tried to look up at him without emotion…but there was so much of it swimming behind those shinning irises. He stepped back and allowed her to walk in. Janus guiltily felt his mouth begin to salivate over what was soon to come. He watched as she strode a little ways away from his reach and then stopped.

"How shall we do it then?" She asked. Janus could tell that her question had been ready to burst from her lips as soon as he answered the door.

He bristled slightly at it and pressed his lips into a straight line. "I was hoping to speak to you before we go any further." It saddened him to know how much she wanted to get away from him. It was his doing, of course, but it still hurt. "Please, it regards…well it regards this." He managed as he made his way closer. The dread he felt moments ago came forward once more. He wished he did not have to make their arrangement anymore awkward, but it had to be done. He wanted no surprises this time. "This is not an easy topic of conversation, so forgive me if I offend you."

Abigale Lynn's brows slowly rose as she eyed the Count. She twiddled her fingers and stayed quiet.

"Originally I had hoped to talk you out of this but I can see that this is something you are focused on doing –"

"Indeed I am, Sir." She answered briskly. The look in her eye was one of determination. He sighed and decided it was best to let go all trepidation. The unjustness he felt he was to again act out upon her gnawed at him, but he would endure it gratefully, as was her wishes.

"As you wish, I…I will not question you about your willingness again." He answered with a small bow of his head. "However, there are some things about being bitten by a vampire that I think you should know," The Count trailed off as he was beginning to feel more embarrassed over what he was to tell her. Humiliation was a small comfort next to guilt. "You see, a vampire bite is not so simple. It is not like the bite of an animal; there are many magical occurrences that are set off during a feeding, much like a defensive mechanism, they are to keep the bitten quiet and compliant."

Abigale Lynn's expression softened. She nodded and seemed more intrigued and less critical. It helped encourage Janus further.

"When I…I won't mince words. When I attacked you there was nothing but pain, correct? Yes, that was due to my anger. A vampires' bite can cause a series of feelings within the person being bitten. It all depends on what the vampire is wanting, feeling…just about any aspect."

She nodded again and her fidgeting lessoned as she slightly relaxed. He hoped that his rambling was helping to show her of his benevolent intent. He truly wanted her to know everything to expect. No more surprises.

"Which leads me to what you may feel this time," Janus said after clearing his throat nervously. "I am no longer driven by foolish anger. But what you may feel tonight could be equally uncomfortable though," He trailed off, feeling nervous and jittery all over.

"What might I be feeling, Sir?" He heard her ask, which lead him to feel more guilty and perverse.

"Pleasure," He answered as stoically as possible. "When I…when vampires feed it is indescribable. It is akin to taking many mortal pleasures and rolling them into one. Some of that you will feel and it will make you uncomfortable. Perhaps even irrational," He shook his head gravely. "You will not expect it. It will take you off-guard no matter how badly I try to prepare you for it."

For a moment there was silence between the two. Abigale Lynn looked around nervously. "Pleasure sounds more agreeable than pain, Sir. But I suppose I won't know until it is done."

The Count nodded. "I understand that you wish to get this over with. Is there anything I can give to you for comfort, a drink perhaps?" Abigale Lynn shook her head. "Alright, I recommend we sit down on the sofa together. It will be more comfortable for you."

Without missing a beat, Abigale Lynn walked forward and sat upon the sofa. The Count took a deep breath of unneeded air before stepping forward.

Xxxx

The Count had lit the fireplace. He said it might be nice for me to have something to look at and focus on. However the warmth from the hearth did little to help the nervous sweating of my palms. I did appreciate all he was trying to do to make things better but I just wanted it to be done with. My foot began to tap repeatedly against the floor as though it had a mind of its own.

I stared straight ahead into the fire as the Count drew closer. His boots clacked softly and then were muffled by the carpet. My senses were high and I was keenly aware of his every little movement. Once he reached my side and sat on the sofa all my muscles tightened. I felt his weight register beside me, too close to me. I was afraid - afraid of all the pain and blood again but I knew I had no other option.

"It's alright," The Count spoke softly, though still making me jump. "I promise not to take you by surprise." His large hand slipped into mine. I swallowed hard and tried to regulate my breathing. Despite all said and done our hands touching still comforted me.

Carefully, he brushed away all stray hair from my shoulders. His cold fingertips made me shudder. I squeezed my eyes shut and again focused my breath. But then he made a small perplexed sound. It caused me to open my eyes and dare a peak at him. "You are still wearing them?" The Count asked as he reached up to touch my earlobe and the glittering jewel attached to it. I said nothing and nodded. A small, sad smile formed on the Count's lips. "I thought they would be long gone in the bottom of a waste bin."

"N-no Sir," I nearly choked. "I like them."

"I'm glad." He replied while inching even nearer, his eyes were gleaming but his expression was pained. "I'm going to need you to relax now, Abigale Lynn." He instructed and I was surprised to have him place a hand upon my hip. I gasped at the touch and fought myself to remain still. "I need to bring you close to me." The hand resting on my hip applied a little pressure and I hesitantly complied with his command. I was in his arms now, staring up into blood-red eyes. "Are you ready?"

Again my body shook but I nodded all the same. "I-I I think so…"

I watched his lips part slightly and saw his fangs protruding. I squeaked involuntarily at the sight and bit down hard into my own lip to keep from doing so again. "You may want to look away," He offered, his voice low and gravelly. His hold on me tightened. "You…you are certain that you want this? We can stop. This does not need to be. Are you sure?" He asked again, and I could hear and feel the near loss of control in his voice. He wanted this very badly but would stop if I said no to him.

I turned my head away, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Yes."

There was no more warning after that. The gap between us closed as his lips quickly pressed against my neck. The still healing wounds from the first bite were once again torn open anew as his fangs speared into me. I shouted. His free hand came up to hold the back of my head in place.

The splitting of flesh, even though small, burned like a brand. I struggled to keep myself from pulling away from him as my every instinct was telling me to do so. Again I whined. I reached down to grip the arm on my hip. I felt the need to hold something, anything, even he who caused the pain.

The guttural moan that left the Count alarmed me. His arms slid around me further and tensed. His hand at the back of my head kept me in place but his touch was gentle. I felt my muscles lax as I permitted myself to rely on his grip. I was so busy watching and feeling the Count's movements that I had yet to notice the hurt subsiding, but it was.

As the decrease in pain dawned on me I felt lighter. It was not so bad, only the initial biting hurt, I could easily do this from now on. The realization almost caused me to smile but then another feeling washed over me far too abruptly. My lower belly began to tingle and a very prominent heat was emanating from my core. I was taken off-guard by the sudden change, even more so when my body suddenly felt electric. The little hairs on the back of my neck raised and every touch or movement the Count made against me felt good. His weight applying any small pressure was almost euphoric. He was big and heavy and I liked it.

I was so shocked but kept from doing or saying anything that may have stopped him. His hands ran over me and my clothes were suddenly too constricting. I was hot and I imagined how his cool grip might feel over my skin. His large hands engulfed me and his body against mine felt amazing. He was so big compared to me. Heavy and broad, muscular and cold, I wanted to feel him.

I reached up to his shoulders and allowed myself to pull upon them. I wanted him closer; I needed to feel his weight on me. I greedily tugged on his shirt and was happy to feel his hand press firmly into the small of my back. I groaned but it was hardly audible over the sound of my heart banging in my ears. I did not understand all these wants and desires, nor did I know where they came from, but I didn't care. The Count had said to expect pleasure. This was not pleasure, but it wasn't unwelcomed.

Then another ache and longing took hold of me. My groin and thighs cried out for the same pressure that my upper body was being shown. Acknowledging this made me blush and feel guilty, but still that inhumane greed was there. As though he were a mind reader the Count shifted himself again on me. The feeling was so very satisfying that I could have wept.

Then my head fell upon something soft. All I could see was the Count's wonderfully black hair, his pale sharp jawline, and his blissfully broad shoulders. I sighed against him as he laid himself on me fully. One of his hands had gotten so tangled in my hair that I doubted he could ever retrieve it. In my enraptured stupor my hips raised to him of their own accord.

His fangs quickly left me then, the small pain making me wince. He kept his head buried in my hair and pushed his groin to mine. I inhaled sharply at the contact I had so craved. He moved against me, like how I had wanted, but the 'want' was quickly beginning to fade...

The magical grip that the bite had over me was lifting. The entire ordeal felt as though I had watched it through another's eyes.

The curtain over my psyche vanished and we froze in unison, not daring to move out of fear of alarming the other. I gulped, suddenly very aware of my surroundings, the licentiousness, and my own shameful wanton actions. I was also very, very aware of the Count's person. And as I realized what I was feeling against my belly was not his arm, I slapped a hand over my mouth and stared bug-eyed at the ceiling.

The Count quickly pulled himself off of me. He moved to the opposite end of the sofa, muttering apologies while covering his lap with a throw pillow. I too sat up and moved away from him. I sadly was not as quick and the movement made me dizzy.

Despite the terribly awkward situation, he was quick to grab two small bottles off of the table before us. "H-here," he said with uncertainty. "These will help you heal and keep you from vampirism." He uncorked both vials and I drank them fast. Not only did I want to heal and stay disease free but I was happy to do anything other than speak to the man whom I had been just shamelessly groping. "I'm terribly sorry about all of that." He murmured, fingers toying with the embroidery of the throw pillow. "I tried to explain it the best I could…"

I nodded to him. With shaking hands I placed the empty bottles back onto the table. My mind reeled. Everything had been intense, so unbearably intense, to the point where I felt I had nearly lost myself. From the look in the Count's eyes, I could see he felt the same. "I-I don't feel…I wasn't like myself. I'm sorry, I -" I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. Both of our behaviors appalled me.

"We weren't ourselves." The Count finished for me. "I don't have a modicum of control over the effects of the bite, and hardly any for myself during. I just know to do it. I'm sure it was the same for you."

"Yes." I said while blushing furiously. I touched my neck to feel the small holes had vanished. "Thank you for trying to warn me. I suppose I should have heeded your words better." Oddly enough it wasn't hard for me to speak. Although I was terribly embarrassed words flowed through me as easily as water. I believed it to be adrenaline as my heart was still banging vehemently. "I-I feel very lightheaded…and dizzy."

"It is most certainly due to blood loss. I'm sorry for it. I'd be more than happy to get you some fruit, I've heard it helps." I knew that the Count would be happy to do such a thing and I believed him when he said it could help, but I did not want to be in his company any longer. My head was swimming, my body was still shaky and I could not keep the blush from my face. I was hot all over but surprisingly nauseas too. It could have been the potions…it also could have been my shame manifest.

"No, no thank you Sir. Perhaps you could have some ready tomorrow night, if it is not too much trouble?" I dared to ask while very steadily rising to my feet.

"It would be no trouble at all…but what are you doing?" The Count asked, looking up at me from his seat on the sofa. "You aren't leaving, are you?"

"I thought it best, Sir." I said as evenly as possible as I straightened out my blouse. "This is…this is not what I had expected. I wish to continue this deal as promised but," I avoided his intense gaze. The way he looked at me…I was more than food suddenly, I could feel it. It had to be the feeding of course, as it made us both do uncharacteristic things, but I could still feel it. What was more disconcerting though was how my body responded to those looks like a magnet. It was despicable and I could not stand it. "I cannot be around you right now." I said bluntly, afraid that if I did not I might have screamed it.

The Count looked hurt and swallowed hard. "I understand. At least let me escort you to your room or let me call someone to." He too stood and I found it odd that he looked as wobbly as me, perhaps more. "I don't want you to risk hurting yourself. You could fall,"

"I'll be fine." I said breathlessly as I walked towards the exit.

"Please Abigale Lynn let me do something." The Count called to me, almost angrily. I turned to faced him and found his expression not to be angry but pained, very pained. "Please…I am the villain in all of this, I know it, but I don't want to be. I can make it right again but you have to let me do something."

He was pleading, nearly begging, and I had enough of that the previous night to last me a very long time. I bit my lip and backed toward the doorway. "Watch me go then? Just…just stand here and make sure that I get in there alright, please?"

He moved forward quickly and was soon before me. I reached back to touch the door handle and his hand met mine upon it. We were quiet. I then felt the desire to touch him or hold him. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head quickly to banish the thought. "I'm sorry," I murmured as I turned on my heel and pushed open the door, slipping away from the Count before any words were spoken. I made it safely to my room and without looking over my shoulder once I knew his eyes were on me the entire time.

Author's Notes: Let's start getting kinky in Skingrad? 8D *Smacked with keyboard* Seriously I have an explanation! This has been planned from the very beginning. Basic vampire mythology often states that vampire bites have an almost 'sexual' effect. I'm dulling it down a tad because we all know Abigale Lynn isn't into that whole biting nonsense…yet…or never. YOU don't KNOW. XDXD I feel it would be extremely out of character if they just started rutting like animals over some invisible, magic, horny sparklies.