Author's Notes: Ahmahgahd! This update took forever! Welp, that's life! Anyway this chapter has been totally Slapchopped together. I promised myself I would tie in some useless information that was supposed to be incorporated long ago… I give you this morbidly obese chapter in attempt to earn your forgiveness and reviews! 8D

Love or Blood

Chapter Thirty-nine: Excess

xxxx

The heavy wooden door of my chamber slammed behind me and I was quick to push my back against it. My heart was racing and my hands shook. I gulped for air like a fish out of water as I stared blankly ahead of me. My mind compiled a list of all things that had taken place. It was a long, carnal, and odious record that filled my heart with self-loathing spirits. How could I have partaken in such deviant acts, and who had truly started them?

I pressed my wrists to my temples and squeezed my eyes shut. In my mind I could still hear the echo of my gasps and moans as the Count touched me.

With nervous steps I moved from the door and to the mirror. I stared at my reflection and saw that I looked as addled as I felt. My cheeks were a bright pink; they looked as though I had been struck, and my state of dress was in near ruins from the Count's heavy pawing. All in all I was appalled by the woman in the mirror.

"How could I have done such foulness?" I whined as I began to undress, no longer able to stand my appearance. Never in my life had I ever reciprocated a man's affections to such a degree. The unnatural joy that was momentarily felt upon the sofa did not bode well for our future arrangement. I never thought anything – magic or no – could turn me into such a self-pleasuring creature. I had wanted the gratification of touching him so badly that I had abandoned myself.

I was then utterly revolted by the state of my undergarments, finding that my body had responded much more physically then I had anticipated. I swore and flung them and the rest of my clothing across the room. In all my life I had never felt so abnormal in my own skin before. I felt myself a stranger and I did not like it. I was so unsure of myself and what little I stood for. All I knew was that I needed to wash myself again and sleep. My life was now to be this.

After another quick bath I crawled into bed, abandoning any source of entertainment that Tualga had left me with. I pulled the covers tightly around myself, trying to ignore the small discomfort of my wet hair sticking to my skin. I wanted to banish the memory of all that took place; to purge it from my mind and start anew. Rinse and repeat with every coming evening but no such magic existed. I was to be left alone is a dramatic self-loathing state.

Sleep seemed the only place where I could escape reality and shame. But for all my life I could not drift. I tossed and turned in bed, waiting and hoping that a dream would take me soon. I needed a small break from reality; otherwise I was unsure how I was to face the Count again.

XXXX

After Abigale Lynn had left Janus had gone back to his duties as Count. He filed forms, read and reread documents, responded to his envoys and looked over reports. Trouble was surmounting in the Mages Guild, a new company of wearisome mercenaries had taken root in Blackwood, and Daedra worship was on the rise in all Counties…but he could only think of her - his Abigale Lynn.

His quill scratched parchment with fluidity and purpose but in truth was devoid of any. He worked, though monotonously, like a machine; tired, taxed and empty. His mind was everywhere but on the paper before him.

Her scent was on his clothes and her warmth had melted into him. The feel of hair with tresses as soft as silk played out in the memory of his fingertips, like delicate phantom touches. The sound of her heart beating, hammering against his own chest as he drank the sweet nectar of life from her nape. The way she raised her hips to him and how he had fought every urge to slide up her skirt.

His hand stilled, a large blot of ink spilling from his idle quill was quickly absorbed by the parchment before him. Janus sighed through his nostrils as he observed the ruining of the document. All was like looking through glass. Every action and movement of his hand was instinctive. Nothing currently before him had his rapt attention as it should. No, instead he thought of her.

Eventually his quill was set aside and the stopper was placed back into the bottle of ink. His thoughts were muddled and his duties as Count left no room for sloppy paperwork. For now it would have to wait. Taxes, charities, guards, and maintenance…all was of such little importance.

Janus managed to pry himself from his desk and began his habitual pacing about the room. His body was rejuvenated due to the blood of Abigale Lynn. Unfortunately for him some of the characteristics of the 'donator' were also imbued within the nourishment. He felt her unease and obvious lingering arousal and nearly tangible fear. He wondered how the girl went on living each day so burdened by unknown entities – at least unknown to him.

The trivial became complex. Rational stormed the forefront of his mind. Everything including their partially mutual feelings needed explanation. He laughed joylessly at these notions. It helped explain so much to him but also evoked questions. Questions he had no right to dare ask. He knew himself to be on thin ice with Abigale Lynn. It would take more than pretty words and apologies to earn her full forgiveness. Thankfully he had all the time in the world to do so, it was only a matter of her willingness.

Gods how he wanted to be with her…simply be near her. He wanted nothing more than to watch her sit across from him and read a book. He thought fondly of the way she drank wine, holding the large goblet with two small hands, face slightly scrunched as she sipped. And her voice; so soft and clean, as though she never partook in liquor, profanity, or sweets. So, so clean…

Janus' pacing continued. Purging her from his thoughts was ridiculous. He knew this now to be truth as he had tried on many occasions. Now accompanied with the awakened sexual tension the bite brought on it was damn near impossible. He longed for a solution, one that involved the warmth of her embrace…

But he was a wretch to fantasize. He should leave the poor girl be. But what would he do without Abigale Lynn? His days would return to a blandness he was not sure he could survive. He wanted her. He wanted a friend – no, more – he wanted a companion…but on what terms could a companion be?

xxxx

My tossing and turning was soon interrupted by a knocking on my door. I startled at the sound, not expecting visitors, and brought the covers closer to my chest. "W-who is it?" I called, trying to keep the fright from my voice.

"It's me, Miss Lynn." Tualga answered.

I stood quickly and wrapped a robe around myself. I was eager for the company so I hurried to the door -I could no longer stand my own imaginings. "Thank goodness," I breathed as I ushered her into my room. "Please come in."

She entered with a smile, carrying more food on a silver tray. I never in my life recalled eating so much. I had a feeling it was all sanctioned by the Count to keep the nutrients in my body high. But the sight of food only made me cringe. I had no appetite. It was more of chore.

"A courier came for you today. Don't worry, it wasn't that last boy." Tualga said cheerfully as she pulled a small envelope from her apron pocket. Regardless of her reassurance I felt my blood run cold. Not now… "It was some Argonian. Extraordinarily polite! Brought post to the Count's new Personal Assistant. I doubt your erm, admirer knows of your recent promotion."

I twiddled my thumbs, not wanting to accept the letter but knowing full well that I had to. "Umm," I attempted to stall, looking around the now familiar room. "Did this Argonian have a name?" In truth I did not care, but if it kept the parchment from my hand a moment longer, hearing some couriers name was worth it.

"I thought you'd ask that!" She laughed as she placed the letter in my hand. "Teinaava was his name, Miss Lynn. Young Argonian by the looks. Anyway, Hal-Liurz was the one who let him into the Castle. I'm sure he's a perfectly fine, perfectly safe courier."

"I'm sure…thank you, Tualga." I pocketed the envelope and chewed on my bottom lip. For the faintest moment, I thought of trying to confide to Tualga about what occurred between the Count and I. Of course, I brushed those thoughts aside as soon as they came. I knew that with the letter in my pocket and the Count down the hall that I was in trouble and no amount of empathy from another would change that. Besides, all was private matters and I was certainly not one to air my laundry before another. "Is there any chance you could bring me another sleeping draught? You know, like before?" I asked hurriedly. With the mounting emotions inside me, I knew I needed rest but doubted that I would get it on my own.

"O'course, not a problem. Having trouble sleeping?"

I nodded and forced what I hoped was a convincing smile. "Yes. I suppose I'm still not used to my new surroundings. It throws me off." She nodded and after a few more moments of forced conversation she left. No sooner had the door clicked shut did I follow behind and lock it. I then made my way over to the lectern in my room. With haste and slightly shaking hands I pulled the note from my pocket. My stomach dropped as I immediately recognized the wax insignia.

Lucien Lachance. I wondered for a moment how he knew to find me and then regretted doing so. The castle was so big and there were so many faces. Any one of the countless number of servants could be a contact for him. And the Stewardess herself permitted his courier access. Most likely she did not know and simply allowed him in due to their sharing race. Still it raised more questions than answers for me. I shook them all aside as I tore the letter open.

My Dear Lady,

Do forgive the delay in my response to our previous exchange – my line of work is often unpredictable, at best. But never do you stray from my thoughts, child; you are like an unholy vision…so beautiful. It is a pity that your last letter was laden with rejection. Unfortunately for you I am not so easily deterred.

Have I not aptly warned you of the repercussions refusal entails? I thought I made myself very clear. Not so, it would seem. But I can make an exception for you, My Dear Lady. I shall grant you a second chance, although it is quite unusual for me to do so. I believe that you are a woman worth waiting for. So patient I will be…for now.

I can only imagine how confused you must be about your life's position. It is no wonder why you make the wrong choices. Do you presume to be happy there? Has your Count been distorting your views with Illusion Magic? You do realize that you are a prisoner, correct? I offer freedom and a new life. All you have to do is say 'yes' to me.

This will be my last letter to you for now. Business is turning me from my desk and more towards field work. Not that I mind as it brings us closer, perhaps more so than you think. I do hope we meet again soon.

Yours truly,

Lucien Lachance

I leaned backwards in my chair as I stared at the unfolded parchment on the lectern. My hands had begun to sweat and my heart was hammering in my ears. Without another thought I moved to the fireplace at the far end of the room and tossed the letter onto the awaiting pile of wood. I scrambled to light the fire, feeling only small relief as the flames steadily ate the paper.

I backed away and let out a breath. The letter worried me greatly.

How close was Lucien Lachance?

Flopping into a chair, I buried my face into my hands. I felt lost. So much was happening that I had no control over. I no longer felt like myself, nor did I feel safe. Did 'safe' even truly exist for me?

As I sulked, Tualga came knocking. I allowed her in, accepted the potion, promised to eat and wished her goodnight. All these actions were done quick and numbly. As much as I did not want to be alone I felt it was for the best. My mind was addled and my heart was discontented. No amount of company could cure my current woes. I was genuinely alone.

I looked around the lavish room I was given, the beautiful clothes I wore, and the ornate fireplace I was seated at. In those moments I wanted nothing more than to squeeze my eyes closed and wish it all away. I longed for the Maids Quarters and the familiarity of bland food and coarse bed linen. The current exotic meals I was to eat and overly soft bed I was to sleep in only magnified my loneliness. I had no one to share my newfound luxury with and I had certainly not earned it.

The worst part of it all was, presently, the temptation of Lucien Lachance. A foul man, a murderer, an absolutely insane character…yet he was a way out. Not an ideal way, but a way at least. With him I no longer had to suffer through an estranged relationship with the Count. I would not be forced to give my blood nightly either. And without the presence of the Count I would be sufficiently out of a Daedric deal – which was most appealing.

On the other hand, with Lachance came rape and most probably, murder. Of course I did not want either of those things. However, the Count was already using my body in a sense, and if I was killed I wouldn't be dragged to Cold Harbor; as the Count would have had nothing to do with it.

I sighed as I finished off my dinner, having not bothered to even taste the food, being to overcome with unpleasant thoughts. I cared for the Count but I was not safe with him. I did not care for Lucien Lachance but I was safe (in a sense) with him. My soul was, at least. In all I was stuck…and lost.

With a heavy heart I drank the sleeping potion Tualga had given me and readied myself for bed. But as I drew the covers back an odd notion struck me. Maybe I did not have to be alone. Maybe there was someone who could help me. Maybe that 'someone' wasn't really a person at all.

I bit my lip and shifted from one foot to the next before I dropped to my knees as I had seen my mother do so long ago.

"D-Dibella I beseech you," I began uneasily, feeling slightly foolish and desperate. "If you are there…please help me. I no longer know what to do or…or anything." I sighed, clasped my hands and put them before me on the bed. "So many say you are real…perhaps I should not question it, but so many also say that I have been blessed by you. But I do not feel blessed, I feel rotten. I feel cursed." I paused for a moment and hoped that an otherworldly being was listening to my plea. "I ask for your help or guidance…strength? I-I don't even know what to ask for. I don't know how to do this. Just please, please assist me in any small way you can and I will be eternally grateful."

With another halfhearted sigh I clamored into bed. I felt foolish and strange yet hopeful. I knew full well that there was not going to be a beam of light or dazzling display of Magic to assist me. Still I felt a little less lonely than earlier and that was something. So I got as comfortable as I could and closed my eyes, eagerly awaiting the sleeping draught to take effect.

xxxx

I knew in an instant that I was no longer awake. Sleep had come and I had entered a most wonderful dream.

A salty wind tousled my hair as I sat upon a small hill. I was barefoot but fully clothed, long warm grass tickled my feet. I could see the tall walls of Anvil and the docks outside of them. Clean white sails of trading ships dotted the waters like clouds. The blue sea stretched on for what seemed like forever.

I sighed happily as I stretched out, allowing the hot sun to touch as much of me as possible.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I jumped at the voice and turned to see that I was not alone. A Redguard woman was seated beside me. She was wearing robes of silk, blue as the waters of the Abecean Sea. Her hair was in many long braids down her back, all adorned with little sapphires. She had a bright smile that reached her eyes and dark freckles upon her cheeks. She was beautiful.

"Who are you?" I asked, taken aback by her presence.

"Who am I?" She laughed, looking me over curiously. "Who are you?"

I blinked and leaned away from her a bit. Only then did I realize that I too wore robes of silk. In fact, they were identical to the woman's next to me, only mine were a shade of green. "I…I'm Abigale…?" I answered confusedly.

"Tiela," She said, still smiling. She took my hand and gave it a gentle shake. "I have come to aid you in any small way that I can. I understand that you are troubled, but you are not alone. You must stop thinking that." Her words and compassionate tone struck me as odd.

"Wha—," Again I blinked. "How do you know I'm troubled? How could you possibly help?"

"Because I am one just like you – touched by our Goddess Dibella, but unlike you I joined the priesthood…as you were supposed to have done." She stared at me pointedly. "The Goddess has heard your pleas and instructed me to act as your guide and remind you of your place in the world. She has never abandoned you."

"Abandoned me?" I demanded, feeling the beauty of the world around me waver. "When have I ever been helped?"

Tiela looked around curiously for a moment, both of us noticing the sudden clouds forming over the docks of Anvil. "Abigale…you always got away. You were always able to escape, were you not? Did you think it was all luck?" I bit my lip, realizing that there was some truth to her words. I did always get away from my attackers. "Regardless, I came to warn you. Since you refused your gifts from such an early stage and denied all teachings, they have grown and twisted of their own accord. Unfortunately, there is no reversing this. You can however use them to your benefit. Find a man to keep you safe. You need a protector…not all threats are mortal."

I was flabbergasted at the quickened pace in which she spoke. The dream had started so tranquil, now it was rushed and darkening.

Thunder boomed over our heads and we both jumped up at the sound. The fear on this woman face– Tiela's face – caused me great concern. "I don't understand. This is how you help me? I am to find a man to watch over me, that's all?"

"Sweet Abigale, a reneged Sybil is a very dangerous thing to be. Help is limited. I am here beseech you! Abandon the 'morals' that you have bestowed upon yourself. They are damaging you. Your quality of life is diminished and darkened. Creatures of chaos can smell it. You may very well be a commodity to them, should you continue to stunt your inner light –" A cold wind began to blow, halting Tiela in her speech. "Like a dog they can smell you."

"So I am to find a man to bed and protect me? This is the advice I am given?!" I was outraged and afraid. The rapid change in the land was disturbing me. I knew it was a dream but I had no control over it.

"You are so crass and self-loathing…" She said stepping forward, speaking quickly. "You have been misguided for so long. I am sorry for that. The Dibellan arts are much deeper than sex. Love, Abigale Lynn. Love is what you need and it will protect you. It does not have to be the love of a man. It can be family, friends, even immortals. You have a light that must be shared. Sharing it will protect you –"

Another clap of thunder caused us both to jump. She came closer to me still. She looked afraid. "I-I know what is after you, Abigale Lynn. Your situation is dangerous. Me being here is dangerous! But I wanted to help you. I fear that we must part now. You need to awaken so we can both get out of this dream."

I made several unintelligible sounds as I tried to make sense of all she was telling me. Was she real and sent by Dibella? If not, how did she know so much about me? How did she know I was dreaming? Why were we afraid? "Nothing makes sense. How is any of this? –" Tiela grabbed me, placed a hand over my mouth and crouched to the ground. Her eyes were wide and fearful as she shushed me.

"You need to wake up." She whispered. "He is coming."

I was confused…and then I heard it.

Footsteps, heavy inhuman footsteps.

"Whore of Dibella!" Boomed the terrible voice of the Daedric Prince Molag Bal, "Stand away from my Pet or I shall tear your putrid womb from your belly!"

xxxx

My eyes flashed open but otherwise I did not move. My dream, my nightmare, was now thankfully over…but to whom I owed my thanks I did not know. Fear for Molag Bal had thankfully jolted me out of my elixir induced slumber. Had I not been so afraid it would have gotten worse.

I thought of Tiela and wondered if she was truly real or just a very vivid apparition. The dream had been rocky and confusing, but her words stuck with me and followed me to the waking world. Indeed I was cursed. The only way to help stem the negativity of it was to 'share my light'. I realized sadly that I had no one to do such a thing with. I cared for some people, I truly did, but to go as far as to say that I loved them…it wasn't a practical thing to do.

I wondered briefly if I did love anyone. My mind went blank and I guiltily tried thinking about the other things I was told. I did not know what sharing my light entailed, but I felt it meant to be compassionate towards those I love. And it would help if I bedded a man who had my best interest at heart…such kindly advice.

The dream made me bitter. I should have been in awe that such a thing occurred but in truth I was still unsure of it. Was it a genuine dream? Did some Priestess of Dibella come to me to help offer me guidance? Did Molag Bal really return and threaten to rip said Priestess apart?

I stood from the bed and began to ready myself for the evening. All my days melted into one another and now my dreams were an absolute mess. I decided to try to take a small dose of the dream to heart and be more open to those whom I cared for. If anything, I could manage that. Sadly though, I felt more and more unlike myself each minute. I was either confused, upset or indifferent. Extremely unhappy, I supposed. I was going numb.

xxxx

Shortly after my new daily routine I was back in the Count's quarters. He had insisted that we talked more before he fed on me this time. I also accepted the wine that he offered me. Now that I knew what his feeding entailed on my part I decided that giving up completely on liquor might have been a silly idea. I sipped it gently and thankfully it helped me relax.

"How do you find your new room? Do you like it?" The Count asked, sounding nervous as he took the seat across from me. I sat on the sofa in the same spot I had been last night.

I was unsure of whether or not I wanted to talk. I still had that strange dream in my mind but it was happily fading fast from my memory as all dreams do. Aside from that mental duress, I also had the ashes of Lucien Lachance's letter swept up and left in the dustpan in my room by the hearth. All these things occurred in 'my' room. So no, I did not like it.

"It is very luxurious. Thank you, Sir." I said automatically – with about as much emotion as a brick. But then an idea struck me. The Count was keen to talk and I had many troubles that he could perhaps unknowingly help with. I quickly perked up a bit, hoping that he had not sensed the crude tone I had used moments before. "Sir, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course," He answered quickly, overjoyed by me initiating a conversation. "You know you can ask me whatever you want."

I tried a smile, hoping that it would appear genuine. Of course I still cared for the Count but he had made me bitter. Until I could fix some of the many things that were broken in me from his attack, I would be at times, discourteous. "You know much about Magic and Magical beings, correct?" He nodded, showing interest. "Would you happen to know anything about the Daedra?"

"The Daedra?" He repeated, his openness faltering slightly. His nose wrinkled, "As a matter of fact I do. They are quite the nasty beings. Why do you ask?"

At this I bit my lip. I could not simply say that I was interested for he would hear in my pulse that I was hiding something from him. I stalled by again sipping the sweet wine he had given me. "Well…I want to know what they can do. What is truth and what is myth." His brows rose as he waited for me to elaborate. "Could Sheogorath visit someone in their sleep, for example?"

"Ah," He chuckled for a moment. "That I do not doubt. He is the Prince of Madness; I would not put anything past him. He does enjoy meddling in the affairs of mortals. Although the realm of our dreams is most coveted and tampered with by the Daedric Prince Vaermina. That is her domain."

"Alright," I nodded. "But let's say…Peryite. Could he enter our dreams if he wanted to?"

"Hmm, that is a difficult question. He is considered to be the weakest of the Princes. Not much is known of him other than he often ravages the land with disease. I suspect he would not be able to do such a thing. Or that he would simply lack the interest to do it." The Count concluded with a nod.

I took a hearty gulp of wine before daring to pose my next question, knowing full well that it would irk the Count. "What about Molag Bal?" I asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Immediately the Count's expression soured. "Yes, he most certainly can. In fact he makes a habit out of it for vampires. It is not well known amongst the general masses, but Molag Bal holds some sort of power over Vaermina. Vampires are cursed with nightmares whenever we rest. If we are lucky we will sometimes get a dreamless sleep, but those are few and far between." The Count tilted his head at me. I was afraid that he could somehow read my thoughts.

"H-how can he hold power over another Prince?"

"Brute force. He is not a creature to be trifled with. In research of my disease I have come across old scrolls suggesting this violence. I am not surprised, of course. However I find it very interesting how this 'pair' has not been appropriately investigated…then again, some may have tried and been stopped. Don't put anything past the Daedra."

Even though the Count disliked the topic he knew much about the Father of Vampires. I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. I decided to try and garner as much information on Molag Bal as I could from the Count. Of course I would not learn it all in one night. I did not want the Count to be suspicious. I would just have to wait.

He continued talking of Vaermina, much to my displeasure but I did my best to appear interested. Eventually I could no longer hold the façade and decided that it was time to expose my neck to him.

I began unbuttoning my blouse, effectively halting his speech. "They seem to have quite the toxic relationship." I commented, thinking back to the Count's earlier words. I forced myself to smile. "I think we do as well."

XXXX

Janus found himself momentarily perplexed as Abigale Lynn started undressing. After a moment or so of looking about the room attempting to ignore the action, he gave up. Janus gave into instinct and watched the girl adjust the collar of her shirt, pulling it past her shoulder enough so that a bit of her brassiere was showing. She gathered up her ponytail to the opposite shoulder and then sat looking at him expectedly.

The Count pursed his lips, feeling a bit insulted by her actions although he wasn't entirely sure why. He purposed it was due to the fact that she effectively silenced him. Or that he had given her no indication whatsoever of him desiring to feed at that point in time.

He felt it was rude but decided not to comment negatively. She wanted this arrangement and he had agreed, all was on her terms.

"So soon?" He inquired in a mocked jest. "I don't recall hearing a dinner bell."

"I just thought it was an appropriate time." She answered nonchalantly. "Would you like to wait?"

Knowing that blood was within his reach and that she was ready and willing to give it made him salivate. So in truth he did not want to wait. "I – " He trailed off while marveling at the curve of her neck for a moment. Janus cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. "No…but I did want to talk to you beforehand about last night."

Abigale Lynn paled at the memory of the two of them nearly intertwined on the sofa. She blushed, "There is nothing to talk about."

The Count gave her a knowing look. "You know as well as I that there is much to talk about."

Abigale Lynn turned a brighter shade of pink and for a moment she would not look at him. Her brow was furrowed and her lips were pulled into a deep pout. Finally she stood, taking Janus by surprise, and walked over to him. She stood before his chair and again parted her hair from her neck. "You told me what could happen. It did happen. I have been sufficiently warned." She straightened her posture, and looked down her nose at him in a way that could not be described as 'haughty'. "But I would prefer to try to do it standing this time, if it pleases you."

The Count gulped and stood. He realized now that she was a force to be reckoned with, or she was becoming one at least. "You feel adequately schooled then? You have no other requests than that?"

"None except for you to do it; I'm ready, I braced myself."

He needed no more encouragement. One arm went around her waist, the other near her shoulder as he descended. His fangs plunged into the soft flesh of her neck, easily sinking into the smooth surface. This time she yelped and grabbed hold of him.

The sweet, hot, copper taste rolled over his tongue. Her blood was honeyed, thick, rich and sweet. By the Nine was it sweet.

As the hunger inside of him eased euphoria emanated from him. Warmth rushed both of their bodies starting from the core and spreading to their limbs. He pulled her closer and she moaned. The sound encouraged him further. He ran a hand up to her hair, the other resting on her hip, where he dared himself to travel its curve with his palms. She made no complaints. Quite the contrary as the temperature of her body rose further.

It was impossible to keep his arousal hidden as he drank from her. He could feel her footing shift as she tried halfheartedly to move away from him. Unfortunately her heartbeat slowed and her breaths became shallower. He knew it was time to stop.

He withdrew quickly, still holding her in his arms in case she was lightheaded. Janus was then startled by the hand that near groped his backside. An accident, of course, but her hands were everywhere and it felt good. Holding her warmth so close, smelling her, hearing her, and having her shamelessly grip him was near maddening. The bite's natural seduction was apparently very potent. But Janus was trying his hardest to be a gentleman and not allow his bodily desires control him. So, he buried his face in her hair and whined miserably.

As Abigale Lynn's pawing slowed he was better able to focus on just the feel of her in his arms. She was comfortable to hold and it felt good to do so. His heart wrenched as he reflected on all his actions both good and bad. In those few brief moments he was content and forgiven. He wanted to hold her in his arms forever.

"Sir?" Abigale Lynn mumbled against his shirt. "Can I have the potions now?"

He pulled back slightly to look down at her beautiful face. Janus even smiled a little at the exhaustion written on her every feature. It was not the bite's doing, it was her having to control her own actions. Apparently it tired her out. "Of course," he said, stroking her hair. "Would you like to sit down?"

"No thank you." She sighed, resting her forehead against his chest. "Would you walk me to bed? I'm so tired."

Janus nearly beamed at the familiarity in her tone and actions. Maybe she had been right about this arrangement after all. Maybe it was helping to fix what he had broken. "I'd be happy to."

Author's Notes: The feels! That is all… I DID TWO LINES AND IT'S SUPER LATE AND MY BRAIN WON'T WORK SO I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE THEM. BEES?

P.S. So random buuuut I love imaging Lucien Lachance's voice whenever he had dialog or letters…So creepily awesome! XDXD