Hello everyone! I am proud to say... that I have a whole bunch of ideas for moments before the events of the actual story take place! They won't all be in exact order and each one will get posted in between main chapters. This won't mean that they aren't important to the plot or the story, hell no, but it's not something that will be brought up right off the bat.

That being said since I am going to be continuing this story I have one major problem that needs solving... which house should Harry be sorted into? Will it be Gryffindor? Slytherin? Ravenclaw? or for some reason Hufflepuff? I honestly can't decide so I made a poll on my account so feel free to vote which house Harry will be in. Winning Vote will of course be made cannon for the story and won't be announced till the official second chapter get's made!

Anyways here's a one-shot taking place during Harry's first year with the homunculi.

Intermission 1: How do Humans do this?!

The first problem the sins realized rather quickly in taking in a human… was the fact that none of them had any knowledge on raising or taking care of a human child. They knew that one of the first things that they needed to do… was to get proper supplies and anything they could to give them information on how to raise a human.

Needless to say… they were all very clueless when it came to humans or their young. One of the first things that they absolutely had to take care of right away was a thing called "Diapers" as it became apparent when Pride took one sniff and almost instantly wanted to hurl.

I'm regretting absorbing Gluttony more than ever! Pride thought as he left the room quicker than any other sin had ever seen their smallest sibling move. At first the three other siblings were all confused… till realization dawned on them and they left the child with the last one to hold him… Envy.

"DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THE BRAT!"

One shopping trip and a lot of complaining from Envy later, Lust was taking the initiative and reading through one of the books they got on "How to Raise a Child" while Greed mocked Envy and Pride for their reactions to the one year old.

"You try having a nose as keen as a bloodhound and see how you deal with something that just relieved itself in it's pants…"

"I was stuck for two hours with the damn thing and had to change it HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!"

Needless to say, that didn't stop Greed from poking fun at his two siblings. Lust on the other hand could only sigh at the interactions of her brothers and sibling.

….

It had been nearly a month since the sins adopted Harry and things weren't proving to be any easier. One day Harry was babbling away and playing a little bit on the ground while Greed was sitting on the couch with the TV playing in the room, one of Greed's arms were propped up onto the arm rest with his knuckles holding up his head as he began to doze off from boredom.

How the hell do humans do this? Raising smaller human's when all they seem to do for the most part is cry, shit and eat… What's the benefit besides bringing the already high population up a little more? Greed pondered as he began drifting off a little… till he felt a tiny hand pat his leg and snap him out of his daze to look down at the child who was looking up at the Avarice with wide curious green eyes.

"What do you want kid?"

"P-p-pa?" Greed blinked at this.

"What?"

"Pa… pa?"

Greed was silent as little Harry seemed to repeat the single thing he seemed to say and play a little with his pants leg… until the Avarice picked the kid up then began walking out of the house with one of Pride's shadows noticing this.

"Greed where are you going?"

"The bakery… the kid just earned himself a cupcake."

Needless to say since that day Greed started to spoil the kid a bit. That's how he also started to become a bit of a softy when it comes to the human in their care…. Not that he would admit to it though.

….

Envy wasn't allowed to be alone with the human for long… hell the Jealous wasn't even allowed in the kitchen if the human was around. It annoyed them that they were the only one with those strict rules. Granted it was justified on why as they were probably the most sadistic of their siblings when it came to tormenting humans.

It also didn't help that Greed seemed to be on their ass about harming the kid.

However today seemed to be one of those exceptions as Lust had to work at her current job, Greed had to do the same and it was Pride's turn for some Grocery shopping. Envy could never understand just how Pride could get away with it despite every human mistaking the oldest homunculus for a child. Speaking of children…

"What the hell are you staring at insect?" Envy growled in annoyance as the young boy sat in his little crib staring up at the unique haired sin. Envy scowled as the human continued to look up at them with big wide eyes.

"If you're trying to win me over with your supposed cuteness forget about it! Humans are disgusting-" Envy had started only to get cut off by a sudden pull on one of their strands of hair as Harry seemed to grab onto it and was laughing a little while pulling at the strand. With an annoyed look on their face, Envy snagged the child and held him up.

"Stop that!" The Jealous snapped… only to regret it a moment later when Harry started to cry. The moment the first sob came out of the one year old Envy instantly changed their hold on the human and attempted to get him to stop crying… after all Lust, Pride and Greed would kill them if they found out about this… or if they resorted to silencing the kid.

Needless to say their efforts were in vain as Harry seemed to just cry some more which began to make Envy panic a bit more themself.

"Stop crying already! C-Come on if you don't stop… shit what would Lust-" Envy stopped as an idea came to mind as they glanced at the still crying one year old. Red sparks began to dance across their form, the sound alone catching Harry's attention and at least stopping his loud cries long enough to watch as what was once Envy get replaced by the form of Lust once the sparks of red died down.

"Calm down Harry," their voice, changed to sound just like Lust's, said in a calm tone which left Harry wide eyed in amazement. The child reached out a hand and touched their face as if to confirm that yes it was real… and Envy had to bite back their tongue about it.

"Ma…?" Harry questioned causing Envy (still wearing the form of Lust) to blink and internally question if it was to them… or to the form of their sister. Figuring it was the latter it took almost all of Envy's will power not to grin like a maniac as they thought of something fun.

"That's right Harry… I'm mom," still sounding like their sister… oh this was going to be so much fun if it worked out the way they planned.

….

When Pride got home about an hour or two from his little trip he was actually surprised to see Envy laying on the ground in the living room and building something with Harry out of the toy blocks the child had. Not only that but the human seemed to be in one piece and from his enhanced sense of smell Pride could tell the child wasn't bleeding nor was there any blood in the house.

"Alright what did you break this time Envy?"

The shapeshifter's head snapped up with a mock hurt expression on their face as they looked between the eternally young Homunculus and the one year old before addressing the latter.

"You hear that brat? Big brother Pride doesn't think I can actually behave and keep a human alive at the same time! Ye of little faith Pride, ye of little faith…"

"What… did… you… break... Envy?" Pride asked again, putting extra emphasis on each word he said and knowing better than to trust every word that comes out of the sadistic sin's mouth.

"I broke nothing!"

The loud sounds of some pans falling onto the hard kitchen floor seemed to call Bullshit on the denial.

"... Correction I did break something, tried to fix it and clearly failed… Happy now?"

The only response Pride had to his youngest sibling's answer was to facepalm and sigh, while Harry seemed to have gotten frightened by the loud unfamiliar noise and almost cried again.

Lust better get home before Greed… I don't want to be left with these fools of little brothers any longer than I already have to.

….

Thankfully for Pride, Lust was the first one home and surprisingly enough Envy and Harry were both well behaved during that time as well. The eternally young homunculus couldn't help but feel a bit of dread with how calm his sibling and the one year old were. Then it happened… the minute Harry saw Lust come into the room the one year old seemed to smile bright and say the word no one was expecting.

"Mama!"

Lust dropped her purse and had a dumbfounded look while Pride had to spit out the orange juice he had been drinking in shock… and Envy looked to be holding back a large grin at each of their reactions.

Just as planned~!

It got ten times better for Envy when Greed got home and heard Harry use the word "Mama" again with Lust. At first he didn't really seem to mind, till Harry said "Papa" and two and two came together in his head and Greed outwardly cringed and tried to back out of the house simply saying "No" the entire way.

"SHE'S MY SISTER!"

"I dunno far as we know since you're now a Xingese brat-" Envy started, wanting to savor the moment a little more with the success of their idea but getting cut off with Greed shouting "NO" and Lust shooting one of her "Ultimate Spears" right for their head… thankfully they ducked in time and held their hands up in mock surrender. Pride could only watch from the doorway with a disturbed look as he couldn't wrap his mind around the concept at all.

"Okay, okay I get it! Too Far."

"Too far doesn't even cut it Envy," Lust sneered, not enjoying the fact that Envy had set this up… but also the fact the one year old Green eyed child wouldn't stop calling her mom… or the fact he seemed to still call her younger brother "Dad" still.

Sure they did have a few harmless "Flirts" in the past, but the two never saw each other as anything more than siblings. Nothing was going to change that view, not even a new chance at life.

….

"Mama!"

"I'm not your mom."

"Ma?"

"No."

"Ma!"

A sigh made itself known from the female homunculus who rubbed at her forehead. It's clear she wasn't going to be getting anywhere with this child anytime soon on getting him to stop calling her mom.

"Damn it Envy…." she glanced down at the child who sat at the foot of the couch laughing and smiling while looking up at her and reaching his hands up in the universal sign for up. With a sigh she gave in and picked the one year old up and held him rather close to eye level.

"You're a real pain you know that?"

With no real understanding of the words Harry just smiled and started playing with Lust's hair. Lust could only let out a quiet sigh as she stood up, Harry still in her arms and went through a check on what was needed… after all it's her turn for grocery shopping this week.

Finishing up her mental list she glanced to the black haired child in her arms and noticed how he seemed to be nodding off.

Perfect.

She made her way upstairs to the room with the crib and carefully placed the human into it and she stayed by his side till Harry finally fell asleep. Lust soon left the room, barely making a sound before finding the room where Pride was reading a book he checked out from a Library.

"I'm heading out."

"... Isn't that a bad idea?" Pride questioned not looking up from his book as he did. Lust huffed but didn't change her posture.

"The human's fast asleep and I'm merely getting groceries. It won't be long."

"Lust we both know-"

"It's only two hours, hardly anytime at all…. Big brother," There was a smirk crossing her face as she knew that she could win this argument now, especially since Pride put his book down and turned to address her.

"After all… aren't you supposed to be Pride the Arrogant? Oldest of the homunculi and supposedly… loath as I am to admit this… but the best of us next to Father?"

"... Get to the point Lust."

"Well surely being able to handle one human child on your own for a mere two hours would be a walk in the park. Especially since Greed, Envy and I have been doing the brunt of the work with the human for the past four months, while you have been avoiding having to even get your hands dirty."

With a well trained eye, one would notice the flinch from Pride who otherwise attempted to keep his serious and "I'm so in control of the situation now" expression and posture while he sat.

"Are you attempting to manipulate me?"

"Oh no of course not. I'm simply stating that you have been leaving your younger siblings to take care of the human while you stick to your own devices. What did we ALL agree to do since we've been living together as a family? Wasn't it… to split the workload evenly of the home and chores?"

"... I get it… just go already."

Lust smirked a little at this and turned on her heels before leaving. Oh how much she enjoyed tormenting her brothers… it was almost to the same degree as Envy but then again unlike her sibling, she was a lot more controlled about it and used it sparingly… where Envy actively plans each annoyance out daily.

Pride on the other hand had a looming sense of dread that grew only stronger with each step his only sister took before she finally left the house and leaving him alone. With the baby… and absolutely no instructions on how to handle said child. How old was he technically supposed to be again? 10? 11? Does that matter? Yes, yes it really does because who in the right mind would leave a 10 year old alone with a baby? Though technically speaking he's not 10 but still it's the mere concept that counts and not only that but there was one more thing that was the icing on the cake by this point...

In all the human families that the first homunculus has ever been in… he had always either been the only child or the youngest. He had absolutely no experience with any younger human… EVER.

I'm doomed!

….

"Wow Pride and everyone worries about me being alone with the brat and yet you couldn't even handle an hour alone with it," Envy smirked as they held the mentioned human child. Though Pride wouldn't admit it, he was happy that Envy was able to leave their current job early… and that Envy was completely right in him not being able to handle the human on his own.

"Shut up Envy…"

"I'm just saying. I'm the youngest here and yet I can handle this way better than you."

"I said shut up… Besides Lust didn't leave any instructions for it…"

Envy didn't have to say anything, their expression pretty much said it all with their smart ass smirk at their oldest sibling. Pride wasn't happy at all with that expression and shot back a glare… it wasn't very effective.

Needless to say when Lust got home she was stuck in between being amused and being disappointed at the fact Pride proved to be a bad Babysitter… and she didn't know whether to be surprised, shocked or proud that Envy seemed to be much better at the job. So many mixed feelings to choose from and to little time to properly express each of them.

When Greed heard of it however he found it absolutely hilarious. Needless to say Pride would never live this humiliation down thanks to his two youngest siblings.

How the hell do human's handle this?

One of the most important things to me is character development and attachments. That's what I tried to focus most on in this. Plus some instances were based on some real interactions I had with my own baby brother when we were both younger. (In fact Envy's and Harry's relationship in this is mildly based on mine and my own brother's relationship.)

These one shot intermissions will play a pretty big key into character development.

Also on a side note Greed's super happy about being called "Papa" stems from the fact... well to the homunculi their father is the strongest being in the world and is the one who gave them life. "Papa" or anything regarding the term "Father" would be a great compliment to anyone of them and well... Greed want's everything so the fact he earned the title somehow is like the best thing to ever happen to him in this new world... but the disturbed part comes from the fact Lust is his sister and thought of having to even just pretend to be in a relationship.

Plus this will get brought up again... eventually.

Anyways for the official first chapter I'm going to try to get it finished up and post it next month.