Author's Notes: Yay an update that isn't pervy filler! ^-^ This chapter is over 9,000 words. I worked on getting it up as fast as I could before the Holiday. *dead* For obvious reasons this was difficult to write. Enjoy? XD

Love or Blood

Chapter Forty-four: The Red Curtain

xxxx

Forgive me.

The Count's words echoed in my mind as I watched part of the Castle walls grind open. Fear gripped me, my blood ran cold. What could be down there and why did he feel the need to show me?

Wordlessly the Count took my hand. His grip on me was almost painful though I knew he did not mean it to be. I swallowed hard and took my first step into the cold corridor. I knew that Castle Skingrad had many hidden passages and chambers - I had traversed them on the night of my imprisonment - but never would I have imagined that the Count had one in his room. The wall had seemed so unassuming. I myself must have walked past it a thousand times. Now, entering the cramped space with the Count leading the way, brought a bout of new anxieties. How many other things were kept secret, hidden in Castle Skingrad?

The entrance to the chamber vanished from sight. Darkness soon swallowed us as we followed the winding stone steps. He did not need light to see and so lead the way in utter blackness. My steps were clumsy and heavy. With my free hand, I reached out and let my fingers glide against the stone to help me balance. It did little and only discomforted me more. The space was so very small. Despite the cold, I found it hard to breathe.

Soon the Count came to a halt. I heard him sigh, long and tired, then his hand left mine. For a fleeting moment, I startled. Being left in the dark, unfamiliar place worried me greatly. But then I heard the loud 'click' of a door latch, followed by the low groan of old hinges.

Soft orange light poured into the passage, silhouetting the Count. He turned to me then, his body taking up most of the doorway. He looked as though he wanted to speak but could not. He retook my hand and together we entered a small chamber.

My shoes patted on soft new carpet. I stared confusedly down at the ornate design as it perfectly matched the recently purchased rugs in my room. No dust, no dirt, no fraying. But the place smelled...old. I stepped further into the room and hugged myself, hoping to stave off the chill. My nose wrinkled and I looked up - immediately regretting doing so.

I froze mid-step, my breath hitching. There in the center of the room sat an ornate crypt. My eyes were glued to the stone statue of a woman, laying upon the slab, decorated in finery. I swallowed hard. There was something eerie here. Something wrong. In the corner of my vision, I could see the Count standing next to the crypt, but my eyes remained glued to the figure of the woman.

The candlelight danced, shadows played tricks on my eyes. Hesitantly, I stepped forward, still unable to remove my gaze. Midway to the center of the room, I realized that what I beheld was no statue. This was not a woman of stone, but of flesh, blood, bone, sinew...

"For fifty years now, I have kept her secret..." The Count's voice sounded far away, it faded in and out of my mind. In truth, I was only half listening. My heart was beating far too loudly to hear him properly even if I had wanted to. "Vampirism had driven her..." My feet moved forward of their own accord and soon I was standing before the woman, before the other vampire. The slow sickening realization had me paralyzed. "...her peace. I was weak and could not..."

I swallowed hard, my breath shook. Before me on a bed, not a slab, was a noble lady, not a statue. Her clothes were exquisite, deep burgundy and purples. Thin, gray and brown hair was braided and set neatly over her shoulder. Her skin...taut and unnatural. It pulled tightly over her bones, hollowing her deeply set eyes, accentuating her tired and chilling appearance.

Oh no.

My gaze traveled to her hands that were placed delicately on her chest. Her fingers resembled twigs from a birch tree: pale, long and thin. And around one little finger rested a golden band and twinkling diamond ring. My tongue was thick in my throat, my mouth glued shut and eyes wide. The Count was still speaking as I inclined my head to him, looking at the hand that he was running nervously through his hair, absent of the gold band he normally wore, identical to the one on the noble lady.

It all clicked into place, despite me not wanting it to. "B...b-but," I shook my head and took a step back. "I thought...no, h-how?" I suddenly could not breathe, air seemed to be zapped from my body. "Who is?" I managed, still unable to catch my breath, knowing the answer to my own question but not believing it.

The Count stepped closer to the bedside. "Rona. Rona Hassildor, the Countess of Skingrad...my wife."

Shock, I was in shock. I blinked and shook my head. "N-no that's not possible."

He nodded grimly. "Not long ago now I told you the story of how I became a vampire and how I had lost my wife." He looked down at the woman - Rona, a mix of emotions in his gaze. "It's all true, but Rona did not pass on. She turned vampire and refused to feed, then fell into a coma from which she has not awoken. I've tended to her for the past fifty years."

I took another step back. "She did n-not want to be a vampire. Y-you said that-" My mind was not working properly. Snippets of conversation faded in and out of my memory. All I could understand, the only thing that stood out to be truth, was that the Count's wife was very much alive. Vampire, but alive. Still bound to the Count.

"She does not want to be a vampire, no. She begged me to end her life and grant her peace. I could not do it. I could not kill my wife. But now I see that all I've done these past years is lengthen her suffering and mine."

Wife. The word buzzed in my head like an angry wasp. "Now?" I panted, "Why now do you realize this?!" Tears burned my eyes and blurred my vision. I knew why. It was me. He felt prepared to end his wife because of me. "Your wife?!" I nearly cried out, startling the Count.

It all dawned on me with terrifying clarity. All the time I had been with the Count, his wife had been there too. The Countess Rona, who he kept in a chamber beneath his manor, was alive still because of him. He had cared for her and loved her all this time. Now he no longer wanted to keep her? It was my presence that changed his mind. How could it not be? Was his wife, Countess of Skingrad, to be murdered on my behalf? I was terrified, I felt violently ill. I looked at the Count, a man I did not know and shook my head. Was he really so conniving? So deranged? It seemed too convenient for him not to be. More frightening still was the fact that I truly did not know.

I approached the Countess, bold in my sorrow. The betrayal was dizzying and I felt faint, but not for myself. The Countess Rona, the poor Countess. I had lain with her husband, in her bed, while she slept alone in a cold chamber. I had turned his loyalty and his love. He no longer wished to be bound to her. It was all my fault. "I did not mean too," I sobbed to the Countess. "I did not know."

I thought the Count had lost his wife half a century ago. I thought his terrible moods were do to his vampirism and longing. I thought he was a widower, deciding to move on. Some could, some could not. This though...this was wrong. This was sickening. He kept her all these years, stagnant, possibly suffering. Only now he wanted to end this nightmare for her? It was a horrible coincidence.

My mind raced as I tried my best to focus on the Countess. "S-sorry, so sorry." I had been with her husband. She was trapped in vampiric nightmares while I gave myself to the Count. I clutched my head. Now, her husband has suddenly garnered the 'strength' to give her the peace she once begged him for, only a few days after confessing his love to me? "My fault. I am so sorry."

"Abigale Lynn," a cold hand touched my shoulder.

I jumped a mile and swatted him away, eyes wide and frantic. "Don't touch me here! Don't touch me!" My mind raced, my chest hurt, I felt ill and used. A tool for his validation. I could not stay in the chamber any longer. I ran past the Count, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Abigale!" He shouted, stalking after me, but I was already racing up the stairs. Bounding in the dark had me stumbling but hearing his boots behind me filled me with fear and made me move faster. I could not believe it. The Countess of Skingrad was alive, at her adulterer husband's mercy, and I was the outlet who made him this way. I gave him myself and in turn the courage to remove the Countess.

I tried to shake the thoughts from my mind as I ran into the Count's bedchamber. My chest heaved and suddenly my arm was grabbed and I was twisted around to face the very man I presently did not want to see.

"Abigale Lynn, please! Don't run away from me! I want to-"

"Let me go!" I shouted, pulling away from him with all I had. It hurt. Everything hurt. I had trusted him, despite knowing better. I trusted him after it all. "After everything! Everything!" I babbled, knowing full well I sounded insane, feeling it impossible to tell and show how I felt. I came to Castle Skingrad, stole from the Count, he wanted me dead. Then changed his mind. Then befriended me, then attacked me, fed on me. Bedded me, told me he loved me. Showed me his wife, whom I presumed dead, as told by him. Now he wants to grant said wife peace? Peace?! I felt like a murderess.

"You don't understand. For fifty years I have kept her, out of love for what once was. I see now that I was wrong. I should not have let her suffer." He grasped my arms tightly but still I tried to wiggle away. The intensity of his words and stare only further disturbed me. He genuinely thought that this was right.

"It took you fifty years to realize this?!" I glared, "She is your wife! Y-your wife is still alive beneath our feet. You deceived me. You betrayed her!" He let go, sending me stumbling back. I managed to stay on my feet. "We should never have...if I had known -"

"You don't understand!" He shouted. "You did not have to watch someone you cared for abandon you. You did not have to face eternity alone." He took a shaky unneeded breath. "I showed you her because I love you, Abigale Lynn. I did not want to deceive you."

"Your love is terrifying." I wiped my eyes on the back of my hand. "And I was deceived and she betrayed. Had I known you were still married I would've denied you. A-and why only after bedding me did you find the strength in yourself to 'grant her peace'? You only showed me your wife to ease your guilty conscience!" With trembling hands I unclasped the little diamond earrings the Count had gifted me. "You've made your wife and I into fools." I snapped, tossing them on a nearby table. "I want no part! I refuse to be your murdering whore! I refuse it all! I refuse you."

"Stop this, you are twisting..." I covered my ears, not even realizing I did so. The look on his face spoke volumes, but I didn't dare move my hands. I was afraid of his speech, knowing full well that I could easily be manipulated by him. He had a way with words, a way with me, I cared about what he said. I cared about him, perhaps even more, and it took this awfulness to realize it all.

Fresh tears prickled the corners of my eyes. His expression softened. The Count stepped forward, I stepped back, shaking my head. I had to leave. I turned and fled, unable to be in his presence any longer.

I pushed open the doors and bolted down the hallway. I passed the beautiful paintings I often stared at, the many rooms I cleaned, the one I was gifted, the one I was locked in. I ran by all, sickened by memories. My cheeks were red with shame and I no longer knew what to do.

In the throne room I dared to look over my shoulder to see if the Count had followed; shortly realizing that although I could not see him, it did not mean he wasn't there. So I continued moving. Soon I was at the exit that lead to the courtyard. Panting, I grabbed the door and pulled. Locked. I panicked for a moment before turning the latch and unlocked the door, then I bolting outside.

It was cold. My breath, hot and rapid, danced in the chilling night air. I did not think, I only moved. My shoes patted against the wooden veranda as I frantically sought out the stairs. It was too dark to see so I used the railing as my guide. However, I did not get far before I smacked into something solid. Then that 'something' grabbed me. I believed it to be the Count, so I immediately began to pull away. "You can't keep me anymore! I refuse! I-"

My ranting died in my throat. It was not the Count who held me. I stared disbelievingly up into the blackness of another's hood.

"Abigale Lynn?"

XXXX

Janus swallowed hard, unsure of how to react. He knew Abigale Lynn would be upset with him but never did he imagine her reaction to be this terrible. Still he followed after her. He needed to explain himself more, to make her see. This was right and just. This was something that took him over fifty years to come to terms with. Before Abigale Lynn came into his life he had already decided to grant Rona peace, but simply lacked the courage. Presently, he still did, but he also knew it had to be done.

It hurt him to know that Abigale thought so lowly of him. He supposed he could make sense of her reasoning, but it still stung.

The Count followed after her. He moved slowly but with purpose. He was full of shame, unease, and hurt. It muddled his thoughts. As he entered his throne room he felt something strange. It took only a moment for him to realize that someone else was near. He bolted to the Castle exit and found that the door was wide open. In a moment he was outside. What he then saw upon passing the threshold panicked and infuriated him. There, in another's arms was his Abigale Lynn.

Lightening, treacherous and bright, came forth to his hand. However, before he could finish the conjuration the figure spoke. "Janus stop! You'll ignite the entire veranda, us included!"

Sparks fizzled and died, leaving the Count's fingers tingling. He stared unbelievingly at the figure, his mind still only registering Abigale Lynn being held by another. "Vicente?" he glared, slowly recognizing his friend's energy and voice. "What are you doing here? Release Abigale at once!"

"I'm not holding her prisoner!" Vicente Valtieri snapped back. "What in Oblivion's name is going on here?" It was then that Janus saw the look on Abigale's face. Indeed she was afraid, but not of Vicente. On the contrary, she was leaning into the other vampire for support; putting as much distance as possible between herself and the Count.

Janus waved away the question, advancing on the two. "Stay out of this, Vicente! For once in your life be silent!" His gaze fell to Abigale, she refused to look at him. "Please Abigale Lynn, come back inside now. Come with me please." His voice was hoarse, his body tense, and eyes pleading. Abigale only gripped Vicente's cloak tighter. "This is no place to converse and we need to talk."

"No more needs to be said." She whimpered, still not looking at him. "I-I need to go. I must go. Let me go."

"Get inside, Abigale." He said more forcefully. She still would not look at him. His anger rose, it was a physical strain to keep it in check. "You think you know - no, you don't know. Please come here."

Her fingers flexed and twitched, balling into fists then outstretching, like a newfound tick. "I don't want to."

"I do not care what you want!" The Count shouted, unable to hold himself back any longer, knowing full well he sounded monstrous. Only after the outburst did he feel mildly foolish. He was not alone. Vicente was observing all with a cool gaze. Abigale Lynn had stiffened and finally turned to him. The Count forced himself into composure. "Go inside now and wait for me."

Like a spell had been cast, the girl who had only moments ago loathed the thought of Castle Skingrad, walked willingly inside. The Count went to follow in after her, only to be stopped by Vicente's hand upon his shoulder. The irritated Janus bristled at the contact but having already made a spectacle of himself once this evening, decided it best to be silent. "Care to explain, Janus?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Valtieri. Go home."

"But you so desperately desire to explain yourself to her?" Vicente questioned, sensing the Count's obvious unease on the topic. He had a good idea of what caused the Count's little companion to flee. Still, he was not one to jump to conclusions. And knowing Janus's temper, they could have just had an awful argument. One never truly knows. "...I received your letter. What else has happened since the 'incident'?"

Reluctantly, Janus beckoned Vicente to follow him inside. Indeed, he had much to tell Vicente Valtieri and truly could use his advice.

xxxx

My feet moved but it was as though they shuffled along against my will. I stifled my hiccups and sniffles the best that I could as I made my way through the manor. My mind was blank. Everything I had done, everything I had felt, was as I had thought it was...wrong. It should not have been and there was no excuse for me anymore. Simply reciting 'I did not know' in my head over and over would not help me. I was to blame, perhaps equally so as the Count. I gave in to him.

All I could see was the Countess. Like a ghost of her suddenly wandered the halls with me. I felt scrutinized and more out of place than ever before. I violated her marriage and possibly endangered her life.

Unable to think straight and unsure of where to go I wandered. Eventually I came to the chamber the Count had given me. I entered shakily. Like a girl sent to her room for misbehaving, I sat on the bed. Obedient, compliant, quiet. I realized then with a sick fascination just how much control one man had over me. He was my master, my employer, a rich ruler, vampire and so, so much more. I had no other choice but to obey. He ruled over my life like a paradoxical deity. In one hand he held my chains, with the other he kissed my hand.

I bowed my head. I hated obeying.

XXXX

"Alright," Vicente sighed, removing his cloak and plopping himself into an armchair. "Start talking."

The Count did not know what to say first. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. He remained quiet, his elbow resting upon the large fireplace mantle. "I do not know where to begin." He mumbled, eyes downcast.

"You wrote to me and said that you attacked her. Fed on her. I'd go from there." Vicente leaned back. "What caused the incident to occur?"

"It was as you said," The Count grumbled, pushing off of the mantle. "I did not heed your warning. I did not feed and I let her rejection of my feelings fester." He took a seat opposite of Vicente. "I went to see Rona...it worsened matters. I don't fully know why I went to her. Maybe some strange and unrealistic hope that she'll wake -"

"And what would you do if she did?" Vicente questioned, "What would you do if she woke right now, healthy and vibrant? What would happen to Abigale Lynn? What would happen to all?"

For a moment the Count was quiet. The question hurt him because he knew the answer. Even after all the years of love and hate, and all the time he wasted..."I would divorce my wife." He swallowed hard. He could envision her beautiful and healthy. Janus closed his eyes. "There has been too much hurt. Too much time passed. Our marriage is over. It has been for a very long time."

"Would you still divorce her if Abigale Lynn was out of the picture?"

A memory of Rona's smile came to him. The feel of her skin, peppered with freckles, and her warm honey-brown gaze. They were thoughts that made him ache with longing, but the longing no longer held a candle to the pain and anger those memories of her could evoke. "Yes." He answered matter-of-factly. "A part of me will forever love Rona, she was and still is my wife. But saying that I'm 'in' love with her is false. I sometimes question if our marriage would have lasted had we not been turned into vampires."

The Count's response seemed to satisfy Vicente to a degree. Both were quiet for a time. Vicente tapped his knee thoughtfully. "The bite took place in the library, correct?" Janus shook his head. "Then I am confused. Your letter said you accosted the girl inside of the library. Did she run from you?"

"No," The Count answered guiltily. "I brought her in here, 'dragged' being the more appropriate term."

"I see." The elder vampire eyed the Count, slowly piecing together the younger vampire's motives. Vicente knew all too well the wants and desires of the Dark Gift. Most went mad with cravings. Janus had proven to be quite resilient to its effects, but he could not repress them forever. Eventually even the tamest of vampires snap. Vicente was no exception to the rule either... "Seems to be a rather intimate setting. A well-thought-out decision despite it happening so quickly."

Janus' eyes narrowed. "What exactly are you implying?"

"Don't play coy with me, Janus. Her scent is all over you. What I want to know is was it consensual?"

"How dare you!" The Count snapped, quickly getting out of his chair. He was outraged by the accusation, and from someone he called 'friend' no less. "Of course it was consensual! I wouldn't I...she consented."

"Just because she didn't say 'no' doesn't mean it was consensual." Vicente continued, disregarding the Count's outburst. "Is that why she fled?"

"No and when did I become a damn rapist?!"

"You are a vampire. Rape comes second nature to feeding. You've not once been tempted?"

The Count opened his mouth but said nothing. His face twitched into a scowl and he looked away. He found himself guiltily avoiding his friend's stare. Vicente knew the unfortunate and gruesome answer to his own question, so Janus remained silent. His eyes darted over to a particular pillar in his bedchamber.

"She called out for her mother." The Count swallowed hard at his shameful confession. He seated himself again and pressed his lips to his knuckles. "I locked her away after that. I knew I couldn't trust myself. But somehow I had forgotten...I do not know exactly how I did. The day before we made our arrangement it came back to me. I have been living in fear for her. I cannot control myself, I know this now, but I can't lose control." Janus twitched, tapping his foot obnoxiously for a moment.

"Arrangement?" Vicente questioned while carefully eyeing the very maddened Janus. "What arrangement?"

"To earn her forgiveness she had me...wants me to feed on her nightly, or whenever I please. It's torturous...but wonderful."

Vicente sighed. Indeed their situation was tricky. He could see Abigale Lynn's reasoning just as well as he could see the Count's trepidation. The man looked thoroughly shaken and disturbed by his actions. The fact that he confided in Vicente and told him of the vile deed spoke volumes. He needed help, they needed help. "I see. This agreement is how you two ended up together, correct?"

"No. It did create tension though." The Count ran a hand over his face. "One evening I was bold and decided to try and show her how I felt. She reciprocated my affection despite it all." He then shook his head. "I know how awful a creature I am for it. She narrowly escaped me and does not even know it. Still I made her mine. Still I pursued. I have not let her out of my sight since. I need to keep her."

"How does she not know that you almost had your way with her?" Vicente probed, genuinely curious.

"I nearly drained her, she was half-conscious at the time. She's never uttered a word about it. She only remembers the bite."

"How long after you attacked her did you two sleep together?"

Janus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know. Three days? Perhaps more. I've hardly kept track of time. I was too disgusted and distraught to notice the nights passing. She's been the only thing I've paid any mind to. I spent days with my ear to the wall, just listening to her breathe."

The other vampire hummed in thought. "Well, it happened terribly fast after that. You are positive that she was willing to you, truly willing? She may have only agreed because she feared your repercussions of her refusal."

A feeling of absolute dread came over the Count. His expression twisted but he quickly composed himself. He had never thought of that. "N-no," He shook his head as he went over their first time together. For a fleeting moment he felt fear. She had stopped him several times, looking unsure and downright petrified. But she had wanted him, she said so herself and there was no lie in her words. He missed her then terribly, even after they had been together only hours before. He missed her small frame beneath him, her bright and curious eyes as she let him touch her. He quickly shook the thoughts away, "She had wanted to, she told me so."

"After three hundred years I have learned that 'want' is up to interpretation. She could look you dead in the eyes and say that she wants you, but in all actuality, she is thinking fondly of a sweet roll or a new pair of shoes...it is the nature of mortals. When they learn they cannot lie they find new ways to mislead you. She'll answer you with a falsehood while truthfully responding to her own mental prose. And you may never know either." Vicente gave a mirthless chuckle. "I deal with such nonsense daily."

This irked the Count as he knew it was entirely possible. Still, she was all too willing and welcoming to him. "I genuinely do not think that is the case. She did ask me to stop several times and I did - as difficult as it was for me. But she asked me to continue as well."

"Why did she stop you if it was so passion-driven?"

"It hurt her." Janus fidgeted uncomfortably. This felt private. Usually a man would want to boast about such things, but Janus was uncomfortable discussing anything sexual in regards to Abigale Lynn. It had been so intimate, so very passionate. He felt gloating cheapened the experience. He would be as tight-lipped on the subject as possible.

"You were violent with her?" Vicente asked while lacing his fingers together, his face impassive.

"No. She was just...as I said, it hurt her...a bit. It happens." Janus' failed attempt to appear nonchalant quickly alerted the other vampire to the truth.

"...you took the girl's virginity."

Dammit. Inwardly the Count swore at being so easily caught. He had a feeling Vicente would not be too pleased with this information. Not to mention it was really none of his business. However, Janus needed help and guidance. The better informed Vicente was, the better grasp he could get on the situation. Grudgingly, Janus sucked at his teeth and dipped his head in a nod. "Yes."

As expected, Vicente's expression went to near exasperation. He placed the heel of his palm to his brow. "Dear Sweet Mother, bless the foolhardy undead."

"I didn't know," The Count snapped defensively.

"Please tell me you did not ruthlessly..." Vicente scoffed before abandoning his train of thought. Mentally, he winced. He could imagine the poor girl's mortification, the little thing was so very meek. Vicente could only envision the very possessive Count horrifying the maid into submission. The Count had been - and still was - insanely infatuated with her. "You should not have," he said then with finality. "I don't care if she begged you to have her. You should not have."

"You encouraged me whenever you came here!"

The elder vampire nodded in agreement. "Yes, yes I did. However, I did not encourage you to attack and feed on her. Nor did I tell you to take her virginity mere days after said attack." Vicente narrowed his eyes. "She saw you as a friend. Harsh as it sounds, you betrayed her and more. She cannot be in her right mind. She is afraid of you, she always has been and forever will be. She may have slept with you in hopes that you would not hurt her anymore. She may have justified it, thinking it her duty to you." Vicente then pointed to his temple. "Her mind is addled and her reasoning is wrong. She is being driven by feelings that have nothing to do with lust. It's fear and the preservation of her life. Of course she wants to please you! She's now seen - and experienced - what you're capable of."

Janus was silent and angry. Maybe Vicente was right but he still did not wish to hear it. "That is not why she left." The Count ground out, accentuating each word.

"Then please, do indulge me: why did she leave?"

"I brought her to Rona."

Vicente blinked, unable to mask his surprise. Three-hundred years of wandering Tamriel and he could still be stumped. "Just now, before my arrival?" He questioned. Janus only nodded. "Oh dear...well that was certainly unexpected." The elder vampire toyed absentmindedly with the black ring he always wore. "Well then I understand her desire to flee. Any particular reason why you told her so soon?"

The Count nodded again. "Yes. I did not want to hurt her. That is why. I cannot build my love with her while keeping such damning secrets. I want to be truthful. I knew full well she could despise me for this, but I did not expect her to try and leave me. She has never done such a thing. Not even after I attacked her." He sighed heavily. "In regards to Abigale, I have done everything wrong. This was the first time I believed I was doing the right thing - I believe it still. I just need to make her see."

"That will be rather difficult. I doubt very much that she will be convinced your truthfulness was done with benevolent intent. Especially now," Vicente trailed off, procuring a piece of paper from his pocket. "We've found her, Janus. The last witch of Glenmoril."

The Count accepted the paper but did not give it a glance. He stared hard and unbelieving at Vicente. "Where is she?"

"As the map indicates, she is along the Corbolo River, much closer to my home than originally anticipated."

Janus Hassildor was struck dumb. Suddenly all else faded from his mind as he slowly unfolded the map. He stared down hard at the many scribbles and scrawls with disbelief. But there, beneath Cheydinhal, was a little red X. His fingers traced the map, following the trail from Skingrad to the marking. It felt like a dream. He was overcome with many emotions then. Excitement, relief, fear and sadness. "It's been so long..." He questioned his reality. Could he really be so close to ending Rona's suffering and his? Would he be ready?

Was he?

"I came here with the intent of killing two birds with one stone. Aiding you with your vampirism whilst bringing this to your attention." Vicente's voice pulled the Count from his stupor. "I have even taken the liberty of bringing two of my Family members with me. They await my instruction at the West Weald Inn. They are ready to take on this quest for you, on my behalf."

Janus ran a hand over his face, feeling positively weary. "How soon can they go?"

xxxx

"Abigale Lynn," Finally he called to me. The Count stood outside my door and gently tapped the wood. I did not want to move to open it. I did not want to face him again. My stomach turned and heart sank at the mere sound of his voice. A small part of me silently wished that he would go away. "Please open the door." I could imagine his face being weary and drawn, annoyance underlining his false patience, his anger surmounting with each passing second. He liked to hide his temper but it was never quiet for long. "I can unlock it, I am trying to be courteous." And there it was, right on time.

Reluctantly I stood and went to open the door. Before I even made it to the center of the room, locks began to click and in he walked. Seeing him hurt me - angered me. I had to look away.

The Count sighed. "Do not be like this, Abigale. I know how you are, I know you are overthinking right now." He moved closer, and I felt tears forming in my eyes again. I did not cry. I did not look at him either. My expression was fixed and angry at the floor. "Please try to understand. I never wanted to mislead you, that is why I brought you down there. I wanted you to know everything."

At this I could not help but to glare at him. "Your honesty was late."

His movements did not falter and he was soon before me. Again I was crowded by him. Again I had nowhere to go. I could only stand and listen. It was as he wanted. "I'm sorry for it. I was not thinking clearly. I know I should have told you before we became intimate."

"No," I heard myself say, my harsh tone foreign. No, we should have never been intimate. It was all a mistake and I regretted it so. I wanted to say this and more, I wanted to let my anger out as he so often did...but I couldn't. I bit my lip until it bled.

"Stop that," He snapped, bringing his hand up and taking hold of my chin. With his thumb he pushed my bottom lip from my teeth. "What do you hope to achieve by injuring yourself?" The action itself was unintentional. It was merely a habit that I could not stop. However, this time I found myself doing it as a way to keep silent. I was afraid of speaking and damning myself further. "Are we not adults? Can't we speak and act civilly? We need to discuss this. You must understand." He sounded exasperated, but his words only disturbed me more.

"No," I said again. My heart pained whenever he touched me. I did not want to hear his validation. The Count was a married man and had been for over fifty years. He now saw fit to be rid of his wife. Was I to take her place? Did he really think I would not be so offended by all of this? It was a sick and twisted fantasy that I no longer wanted part of. I had committed sin with him, I had violated his marriage, turned his eye and endangered his wife. What could he possibly have to tell me to make all of this better?

"I've watched my wife wither into nothing. I've cared for her all this time, knowing full-well that I could not keep her locked away forever. It is cruel of me to have done so, but I could not harm her, Abigale Lynn. I would not. I still can't." He gripped my shoulders gently. "I am a coward for it. I did not want to believe that I was alone, so I allowed her to suffer. It was wrong, but I was selfish...I still am." With his words he tried to reach me. They were desperate but I remained silent. "Before you came to Skingrad I had already finalized my decision to grant her peace. It is the truth, I swear to you."

He had struck a cord deep within me then. A great pain overwhelmed my senses. I became hot and angry. The man before me was full of false promises. His word meant nothing. I was disgusted that he could hold a sincere expression while claiming anything to be truthful. "The truth?" I said, my words wavering. "You are the greatest liar! What do you know of truth or promise? You told me once that you would never feed on me. You promised me that you would never hurt me, that you would be kind forever." He let me pull from him and I further backed away. He looked hurt and ashamed but I continued with venom. "You attacked me! You violated my person and destroyed my trust! Y-you promised me friendship a-and compassion. You swore that you would hurt me no longer!" I was angry at my own tears that had finally begun to flow. "You s-said...you said you would strive to be the man I thought you to be. Well you've succeeded!"

His sympathy left him quickly at my blatant insult. The Count squared his shoulders and narrowed his eyes. "What kind of man did you think me to be then?" I turned my gaze away from him. Although I was still very angry I was afraid too. My rage had near blinded me from the horrible truth of the Count's true nature. "Lose your voice again so quickly? Come now, we've stopped that nonsense long ago." He goaded, stepping to me again. "If you think I am a monster, you only need to say so."

"You attacked me," I said softly, as though only just realizing it. As the words left me I closed my eyes. I felt weary and sad. The Count had been the only man I let into my heart and he hurt me gravely. Deep down I had never forgiven him although I desperately wanted to. My sadness and yearning for his closeness spurred us into his bed. I wanted to forget the pain of his betrayal and be with him again. We went about everything wrong, and now I was hurt by him once more. "I trusted you. I believed you. I tried to forgive you and...and I-" A lump formed in my throat and I found it hard to swallow. And I think I may have loved you. But these words I could not say, so I only wept. I would not encourage him to act against his wife further. "It doesn't matter anymore. It's done."

The Count's eyes searched my face as I cried. He was looking for any indication of falsities, anything to warrant action or anger from him. He wanted me to continue, to call him monster or confess my love. I gave him nothing. "Leave me," I said as I hugged myself. "Please leave me."

"I will not." He said softly as he made a move to comfort me. I moved away from him.

"No! Don't you see? I don't want your tenderness, I don't want your love!" I clutched at my chest, it hurt, it was so hard to breathe. "Y-you will get nothing from me, my heart is my own! Use me, feed on me, do as you wish! I won't deny you, but do not doubt that my love is forever out of your reach!" My own words left me breathless and cold.

The Count's face was expressionless but his eyes reflected the hurt I expressed. He turned away from me. "You are upset. You need time to process this. I shall give you space."

His reaction was not what I had expected but I was ever so grateful to watch him leave. Once the door had closed behind him I buried my face in my hands. I wondered briefly what would become of me now. I had just denied him on the grandest scale I could and mentally vowed to continue this refusal. Once he realized that I was not acting on pure hysteria he would be furious. Only time would tell what he would do.

Why did I care for such a dangerous being?

XXXX

It would take a week before they could leave. Another week of waiting for something that still felt so very unreal. Janus still had yet been able to wrap his mind around it. His fifty long years of waiting, suffering, and confusion were finally coming to a close. Rona would be given peace as she so wished, and the Count hoped that his own would follow shortly after. But fate is a funny and fickle thing - he had come to realize this.

The last three days had dragged with painful slowness. He had tried on multiple occasions to reach Abigale Lynn, to make her see, but all was in vain. She remained obstinate and guarded. Her speech was clipped and often followed by her own tears. She had a mind to make a point to him, to stand her ground on her own misguided beliefs and it was hurting her more than him in the process.

Of course he ached for her companionship. His love had not wavered in the slightest. But to say that he was not irked by her resistance was a lie. Each day he would knock on the door, she let him in and stood at attention. His words went straight through her. She awaited his command, she made that plain. It was as if she herself was trying to deny all that had transpired between the two of them. She wanted desperately to be nothing but his servant again. It was insulting and Janus was losing his patience.

Vicente Valtieri and his so-called 'Family Members' had taken to the West Weald Inn whilst they finalized all preparations. Janus was still unsure how to feel about it. He wanted so very badly to confide in the girl down the hall. He wanted to find solace in her arms again. But she would not yield, and he found her gaze turning more hateful with each passing night. He did not understand why she was acting so indifferent. She seemed hell bent on the idea that he was using her as a crutch - he would not be lonely if she was around, so he could do away with his Countess. It was untrue, but she would not believe him.

He thought about their first argument that took place in the Green Room. Her words had pained him. They were true, he was a liar, a man with two faces. But then she had turned cruel. She called him monster without the word ever leaving her lips. It was as though she believed he held no shame for his actions. Had Abigale Lynn known the true extent of his inner awfulness then he may have been able to validate the insult. But all she knew of was that which surrounded her. If she was to peek inside the mind and heart of any vampire then she would know the true meaning of the word.

The extent of his control was truly remarkable. Most vampires went mad within weeks of turning. Yet here he was, fifty years vampire, infinitely powerful by night and day. Skilled with politics, magic, the way of the sword, and master of his own castle, county, and small army. He had more wealth than he knew what to do with and time did not pose a hindrance to the quality of his life. Indeed, he was a force to be reckoned with. How comical it was for him to be at the mercy of a small, pale girl; he held a quiet resentment over it.

At present, he stood at her door, glaring off to the side as he tried to collect himself. His bruised pride and ego were bothering him more than he dared admit. He wondered how long Abigale Lynn would resist him, how long until she finally saw reason. He knew he had hurt her much in the small time they were together, but he felt it small on a grander scale. She once proclaimed to have forgiven him for his wrongdoings. Apparently it was not so as she still harbored much resentment. Janus wondered if she ever had any intent of true forgiveness. He thought again of Vicente's words. Was all truly done for self-preservation, including lying with him? Maybe Rona provided an excuse for her to deny him. Maybe she never really wanted him in the first place...

xxxx

Three days and he came around like clockwork still. His persistence was exhausting. I wanted to fall into myself whenever he knocked on the door. A part of me found it amusing how our roles had reversed slightly. He came to me now, I no longer went to him, I refused to. But all was a constant strain. Part of me wanted to weep and be held by him, the other part wanted to strike him but was far too afraid to act upon the thought. I would tremble in his presence as I fought composure, inwardly battling myself over what was the best thing to do.

Tonight I was unsure if I could again be calm and devoid of emotion. I often cried when looking upon him but I uttered no sound. I kept my answers short and quick, not wanting to respond in the first place. But the Count demanded attention whether or not he was aware of it. I could feel his anger steadily rising each passing day. I longed to be away from his anger and calculating stare. He was awaiting a breakthrough, for me to throw myself at him, agreeing with his every whim and desire. I dreaded the moment when he realized that it was not going to occur.

"Abigale Lynn, open the door." His voice was tired, his command gentle, as it always started out to be. I thought back to a time when the Count had first said my name. It thrilled me to no end. Now I heard it so much from him and it stung like an insult.

I stood and made my way to do as he asked but as my fingers grazed the door-latch a great fatigue took hold of me. Knowing again that I was to stand before him and listen to his fervent lies drained me. I sighed and stepped back. "Not tonight, Sir. I'm too tired."

"You and I both know that is not why you won't open the door." He quickly answered. "This is getting ridiculous."

I turned away from the wood while scowling. I was not being watched by him so I was not afraid of expression. "You are right, it is. So leave me be." I proceeded to walk back to the little table I had been seated at when the Count again invited himself in.

He stood in the room's entrance with his arms folded across his chest. "You are getting awfully brave behind closed doors." He commented darkly, "You now wish to deny me a chance to explain myself to you? Something I should not have to do in the first place, mind you."

I sighed heavily and inclined my head to him. This back and forth of words was maddening. I did not want to hear it any longer. "Then do so. Or don't. Whatever you wish."

I watched then as the Count made a face. He looked worn-down but only had himself to blame for it. "You pretend to be so cold. It doesn't suit you." He then tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I find it disturbing how you don't think this hurts me. It does in every aspect. This is not something easy to do, though a part of me wishes that it was. Maybe then I could rationalize your hate for me."

"I do not hate you." I answered softly, my voice failing me.

"You do not care for me very much either." He said pointedly. Then he stopped speaking for a moment and eyed me curiously. Very curiously. I did not like it. "Did you ever care for me at all?"

I blinked, the question startled me. Obviously I cared for the Count, why else would I be so pained? "Of course I-"

"I mean care for me as a person. Who I am. Can you look at me now and honestly say that you liked me at all? You think me so cruel, why be with me then? For protection? Validation? To secure your place?" He seemed genuinely intrigued as he further entered the room. I was left dumbfounded.

"W-what are you talking about?" I was bewildered. It was all so random and unprompted. Did he somehow hope to trick me back into affection for him by forcing me to answer these questions? "You know I do-"

"Why did you have me feed on you?" He again interrupted. As his question slowly sank in I felt my blood run cold. My shoulder burned. His stare was unwavering and I knew he was carefully watching my actions, looking for a deceitful gesture. "You know I would have done anything for your forgiveness. Why that?"

"I told you why," I answered, but my voice was small. He could sense, feel, that something was amiss. Frantically I began to wonder if the Count had somehow found out about my dealing with a Daedric Prince. He could never know of it, I did not want him to get hurt trying to undo such a thing. I realized then that the Count was more perceptive than I would have ever dreamed. I did have him feed on me for my own protection, not as a way for him to earn forgiveness as I had told him.

His stare hardened. "Tell me again."

"I told you why," I repeated, trying to sound more forceful. I was afraid. I knew that if he had me speak of it he would hear the lie. Of course, I could not tell him the true reasons, so he would make his own and they were most likely to be cruel. I turned away from him then as I quickly sought a change of subject. "W-why do you do this to me? Were you not satisfied with our agreement? Was it not enough?"

"So you did it purely to hold it against me forever? To keep me contrite?" He questioned, his brow quirked.

I swallowed hard. My mind was everywhere. I placed a hand to my brow. "You know that's not...That's not true."

His change of expression was immediate. He looked almost excited. "You are lying."

"I am not!" But I was, and I had been caught doing it. A part of me wanted him to feel forever remorseful over what he had done. It was a part of me deep down that was still hurt and angry. His grief, though slight, appeased it. My hands began to tremble. He knew the truth or at least some of it and that frightened me. The brutal honesty of it all made me feel bare.

"It's not pleasant looking foolish, is it?" The Count said after a few moments of quiet. "I can think of another occasion where you so passionately lied to me. You like to examine all my wrongs but have you ever given any scrutiny to yours? Your passive behavior and lack of action makes things worse for us both. Now is not the first time you've done this."

My refusal. I looked up to him in disbelief. With painstaking slowness, I finally saw what spurred the Count's outrage the night he fed on me. I had denied his affection. I played ignorant and dumb to his feelings in attempt to stop them altogether. It so maddened him that he turned violent. For a moment I wondered how I had not pieced it together before. I had been so shocked by it all that I had nearly forgotten the awkward exchange. I had also forgotten his change in demeanor then. So normal on the surface but horribly dangerous beneath. Much like now.

Author's Notes: Dun Dun DUNNN. Any idea how hard it is to write their arguments? One's a quick-tempered weenie and the other is just sad and skittish. Merrr...Anywho~ the next chapter is an unpleasant one. Just a little warning. I'll post an M and shiz at the top. But don't you worry, kind readers! This is purely fantasy! 8D