Welp... here we are... 2021 and an update in this story after comment, after comment kept telling me to update over the years... Y'all are not going to enjoy the important note at the end of this but I hope you at least enjoy what I finally put out till then.

Intermission 2: School Troubles

"For the last god damned time you midget… YOU ARE GOING TO SCHOOL!" Envy shouted as they tried to pry the small five year old off of them while standing right in front of a primary school building.

"NO! I DON'T WANNA! PRIDE SAID THEY TORTURE YOU AND MAKE YOU NOT LIKE LIFE!" Harry shouted back, clutching their older sibling figure as tightly as he could to avoid getting pulled off.

"OH BULLSHIT! NOW GET OFF AND GO WITH THE REST OF THE LITTLE ANTS!"

Now you dear reader might be like one of the people dropping their own kids off, staring at this scene and being confused as to how this all happened. Well aside from the fact you guys can understand what the two are shouting while everyone is basically hearing a strangely german sounding language. Basically, it all started just a couple weeks ago, when the family of homunculi were trying to figure out which of them would be able to take Harry to school on which days of the week.

The only one who was unable to join in on the discussion for appearance reasons was Pride, but he did still listen in to his younger sibling's discussion while playing a game with young Harry in another room.

"Let me guess, Pride's going to be sitting out on this due to his 'age' again?" Envy had asked as Lust was practically drawing up the schedule, and Greed was still quietly fuming over his demands of being the one to take Harry to school each morning being thrown out the window due to work schedules.

"Isn't it obvious? The cover story is that Pride is being homeschooled while Harry needs to have more experience with hu… children his own age." Lust pointed out, not looking up from her work as she circled Wednesday being the one day any of them could take the young wizard to school.

"Dumb ass reason, but hey it works." Greed shrugged.

"Are we sure we shouldn't be calling him the new Sloth at this rate? He practically doesn't do much of anything around here anymore!" Envy finally exclaimed, getting themselves a loud laugh from Greed and a surprised look from Lust. Not just from the insult to their eldest brother… but because none of them have really talked about Sloth in a long, long time after what happened.

"Envy…" Lust began, quietly checking the shadows for any sign of the eldest homunculus and feeling a rush of nervousness building up. "Don't be saying things like that about our brother."

"Right, because he's just going to slice me up again with his shadows." Envy sighed with a roll of their eyes. Leaning back in their chair they continued. "Just saying. Pride has been leaving all the dirty work to us these past, how many years now? And what does he do? The bare minimum at this rate."

Meanwhile while Envy was ranting, Greed laughing and Lust actually being worried about their general wellbeing… Pride was sitting with a blank expression on his face while a surge of petty anger filled up inside of him.

"Big brother?" Harry asked, head tilting in curiosity as to why the eternally young looking homunculus stopped their game and seemed to be staring off into space.

"... Hey Harry, I just remembered something important I need to warn you about." Pride began, a serious expression on his face as he began to "warn" Harry about the absolute horror that is school. Especially after the homunculus heard how Envy was going to be stuck bringing Harry to his first day of school.

Back to the present Envy at least got Harry to go into the school… too bad they had to go into the school building with him. Not only that… but they had to also explain to the teacher why Harry was throwing a fit and causing a scene in front of the school.

"Would you mind explaining to me… ma'am?" The teacher questioned after looking Envy up and down in their long sleeved black turtleneck and sweatpants combo, with their long hair tied back into a messy ponytail.

"Try again." Envy retorted, annoyance clear in their voice and eyes narrowed.

"Sir then… why your… uh…" The teacher glanced between the more teenaged looking homunculus and the little human wizard, who was practically clinging to Envy the entire time and seemed to be eyeing the class room with caution.

"Little brother."

"And your parents?"

"Dead and gone." Envy had to restrain all their homicidal urges as the conversation went on, but decided to pool it all into one idea.

I am going to kill Pride at least once when I get home.

….

About two weeks after Harry's first day was when Lust got her first call from the school (Aside from a clarification after the first day thanks to Envy). It was on one of her off days from work and she was originally looking to spend the day just treating herself, only for her to cut that short and make her way to the school to talk with the Principle. Something about Harry getting into a fight?

This fight had better have been brutal if it's interrupting my day off. Lust thought to herself as her heels clicked on the tiled floors straight into the office. She had a whole morning and afternoon planned to herself away from her brothers and their human charge, and depending on how this meeting was going to play out… well all those plans would have to be tossed out the window.

Once the door was opened Lust saw Harry sitting on one side practically sending a death glare at the other human child, who was being coddled by…

Isn't that the Horse Chimera from Privet Drive? Lust thought with a mild quirk of her brow as she took in the familiar form of Petunia Dursley… and her now grown pig of a child who was very much blubbering like a baby to his mother.

"Mrs. Bradley-" The principle began, looking to be completely stressed out by perhaps whatever happened before Lust arrived.

"It's Ms. Bradley actually." Lust corrected, still quietly cursing Pride on insisting that they continue to use that last name for his own sentimental reasons.

"YOU!" Petunia screeched, making practically everyone in the room aside from her own child… Mudly? Dumly? Lust couldn't remember, nor did she care to. "That vicious child of yours attacked my precious Duddy-kins!"

"He took my crayons without asking!" Harry shouted back, ignoring how the Principle seemed to be trying to nurse a growing headache.

"No I DIDN'T! He's lying mum!" Duddy shouted, his face visible enough for Lust to see the tears staining his plump cheeks and a bit of snot coming out of his nose. It took nearly all of Lust's will power not to sneer in disgust at that and turn her attention straight to the Principle.

"Before we continue to see whose lungs are the strongest. What exactly happened?" Lust calmly questioned, sitting in the seat next to Harry and promptly ignoring the Dursley's in the room. She did note how Harry huffed and crossed his arms, but seemed to follow her lead and at least look away from the possible Chimera family.

"Harry and Dudley here were apparently caught fighting, and from what we gathered from some of the other students it started after their teacher left the room for a moment. By the time Ms. Kains came back, Harry was biting Dudley's arm." The principle explained, looking at least thankful for Lust's level head.

"And this started over crayons?" Lust questioned, looking down at Harry with a disappointed look.

"... He also called me and big brother freaks…." Harry muttered, green eyes gazing down to the floor. It only took Lust two seconds to realize which "Big Brother" Harry was referring to as Pride had never come to this school before, and a frown graced her lips.

Such petty reasoning… is this normal for human children?

"My little Dudders would never say anything like that you little beast!" Petunia shouted, earning her a side eyed glare from Lust.

… Perhaps in this case it's less petty and more with good reasoning if this is how she's going to act.

"Then what is your son's side of the story Mrs. Dursley?" Lust questioned, keeping her arms crossed in a way where she would be less tempted to use her Ultimate Spear to stab the other woman.

The pig of a child however, was really putting her to the test as she could practically feel all the lies hitting her skin. The boy was trying to explain how he was asking to borrow them, and then Harry decided to just attack him for no reason… while also calling Harry an animal for biting him. While glancing over to the mentioned "animal" Lust was at least proud to see how the black haired boy was practically biting his own tongue to keep from lashing out and making the situation worse. Must have picked that up from Envy… actually probably the only good thing he picked up from them.

"Lying little shitstain…." Harry muttered, quiet enough that the foriegn words wouldn't be heard by everyone… but still loud enough for Lust to at least pick up that he had spoken.

Needless to say while both children got in trouble, Lust and Harry were both more than happy to have just gotten away from the Dursleys.

"So, what have you learned from this Harry." Lust questioned as they both got into the car.

"That Dudley is a fat liar with a mom that always takes his side." Harry responded as he settled into his seat before glaring out the window at the first passing car he saw.

"Aside from the obvious."

"Schools full of idiots?" Lust sighed at the child's response.

"More like, if you ever want to take revenge on someone, make sure to not get caught."

Needless to say, Harry decided to take that advice to heart anytime someone tried to mess with him again.

IMPORTANT NOTE: And with this finally out now... I'm done with this story...

Yeah it was a decision long coming to be honest... When I first made this I literally only thought of it as a prompt/idea for other writers but then well... I had a few other ideas that could help add more to what could have gone on or help with a build up and I guess it became a bit of a series. Which was a bad idea on my part due to the fact that I'd not been allowed to watch or read Harry Potter growing up and only started with reading crossover fanfiction and then the first movie around the time this story was made. So basically... I was writing myself into a corner from the first chapter. Which really messed up my motivation to write this... and it just... It just kept making me feel guilty about it because of how shockingly popular this became. Like seriously you are all amazing and I'm happy that you enjoyed something I made, but now I'm just... so fucking sorry to disappoint you all with this.

I am really sorry to all the people who read and liked this story, but I just... I can't keep writing this as my drive is long gone sadly. However I'm putting this up for adoption if anyone wants to pick it up or rework some of it.