Disclaimer: All things that are in, associated with, or based off of Marvel or the MCU in any way are NOT mine!

Chapter Seven: Confessions and Fears

EviePOV

February 3rd, 1962

Ocean Beach, San Francisco

"I hear the cottonwoods whisperin' above

Tammy, Tammy, Tammy's in love

The old hootie owl hootie-hoo's to the dove

Tammy, Tammy, Tammy's in love

Does my lover feel what I feel

When he comes near?

My heart beats so joyfully

You'd think that he could hear

Wish I knew if he knew what I'm dreaming of

Tammy, Tammy, Tammy's in love..."

The lyrics rolled past Evie's lips smoothly as she sat at the piano, her fingers dancing along the keys and the music filling the empty shop. Mr. Ash had already left for the night, leaving Evie in charge of closing down the store and she honestly didn't mind. The last hour before closing was usually very slow and she often took the time to play the instruments, even introducing herself to new ones she had never played before. It also gave her the opportunity to make sure all the displays and racks of sheet music were properly arranged before she had to come in the next day. Mr. Ash was by no means a very older gentleman, but he did have some problems with his back, and so Evie wanted to make opening the store less stressful for him. When the song she was playing came to an end, she smiled softly to herself before standing up, carefully placing the cover back over the keys before making her way towards the register at the front of the shop. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Evie saw that it was just under a half hour before she was supposed to lock up for the night, which means it wouldn't be much longer at all before Elias showed up.

With it being the time of year where it gets darker and colder earlier in the day, Elias had taken it upon himself to drop by every day after work to give Evie a ride home so she wouldn't need to walk alone at night. She had tried telling him she would be perfectly capable of walking home by herself but he insisted and she really couldn't find it in herself to say no. Truth be told, she had actually come to look forward to his arrival and she would be lying to herself if she said that his presence didn't brighten her day, even if she was having a good one to begin with. Sometimes he brought treats for them to share, or-due to recent weather-a cup of hot chocolate to warm themselves up when the cold seeped into the shop. It was awfully sweet of him, and sometimes she would repay him by treating him to food whenever they went on an outing together, which was becoming more and more often, almost every spare second they had if they were not working. Evie enjoyed Elias' company so very much, she would always look forward to their little adventures. With the two of them, they usually took pleasure in the simple things, such as going on a walk, or having lunch at their favorite bistro. He always made her smile and laugh, and although she wasn't fully conscious of it, being around him made something deep in her stomach squirm, but in an oddly good way.

Just then, Evie heard the tinkling sound of the bell above the door, indicating that someone had just stepped in. Something in the back of her mind told her she already knew what it was and she gave a big smile even before she lifted her head to see Elias, shaking off the excess snow from his shoulders and returning her smile. Seeing him there with a cup carrier holding what was sure to be two steaming beverages, bundled up with flushed cheeks, bright eyes and messy brown hair underneath his hat was enough to make Evie's heart beat a bit faster in her excitement to see him, as it did every night. She greeted him warmly and walked over towards him to wrap her arms around him in a hug before taking the cup carrier from him to place down on the counter at the register.

"Extra marsh mellows and cinnamon, just how you like it," Elias said.

"My hero," Evie giggled as she took the cup marked with her name and carefully took a sip, humming in content and the hot, chocolaty liquid ran down her throat. "Thank you Elias, you really don't have to come pick me up when the weather's like this."

"It's not so bad, the streets are mostly plowed and I put some chains on my tires just in case," Elias reassured her as he took off his hat. "How was your day?"

"It was good, understandably not very busy though. Most people prefer to stay at home warm in their beds rather than go out," Evie replied. "I have been playing the piano and listening to Ash's new records that came in yesterday, mostly."

"Anything good?"

"He ordered a small shipment of the new rhythm and blues records," Evie told him with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. "There's new music from Jackie Wilson, Ray Charles and Sam Cooke. I've been trying to convince him to expand our record selection for weeks and he finally gave in. R&B is so fresh and so different, it should definitely appeal to the young crowd."

"You sure that folks are going to want to buy them?" Elias asked her with a raised eyebrow. The unspoken concern was clear on his face and Evie nodded her head.

"Music is music, whether the artists are white, black, yellow or purple," Evie stated. "If some people don't want to buy them just because the musicians who sing it are black, I consider it to be their loss. I don't think it should effect the business badly, I've heard there are more colored families moving into the neighborhood."

"Much to the displeasure of others," Elias reminded her with a hint of concern on his face. "Just be careful when you guys start selling them, okay?"

"I'll be fine, I promise," Evie said. "So, have you brought any snacks for tonight?"

Ten minutes later, the two of them were leaning over the counter nibbling on some raisin cookies that Elias' neighbor was kind enough to make for him. While they were talking, only two more people entered the shop and Evie darted off to offer her assistance. The first customer was a kindly middle-aged woman who was very upset that her precious violin was damaged and was worried that it couldn't be repaired. Instantly sympathizing with her, Evie carefully examined the instrument with a delicate touch, running her fingers over the wood and quickly assessed what could be done. Thankfully it wasn't to a point where it was a hopeless case and reassured the woman that she would be able to mark this down for a repair. After making arrangements to have the woman pick it up next week, Evie placed her violin in the back for Ash to take a look at it when he gets in. Her second customer took a bit more time, seeing as this was a young man who had just saved up enough money to buy himself a trumpet and was looking for the perfect one. Evie showed him everything they had in stock and even took the time to tell more about the ones who have had a story behind it, since some of their instruments were donated as well as had made from the factories. In the end, the man decided on a lovely silver trumpet that came all the way from Austria and thanked Evie for her help. When she finally turned back to Elias, she saw that he was leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and a soft, fond look on his face.

"What?" she said.

"You're amazing, do you know that?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"The way you speak of music and know everything there is to know about instruments, their history, and the best fit for those seeking enjoyment or a career from it. It's incredible."

Evie could feel her cheeks turn red at his compliment and praise, a warmth blossoming in her chest. Suddenly feeling shy she turned from him and headed over towards the record player that Ash always kept behind the counter. They always played the latest hits during the day while customers shopped, if anything to create a more pleasant experience in the store. Wanting to find some distraction from the way her stomach abruptly clenched a moment ago, she offered to play one of the new records they just had shipped in, intending to take it home herself once she leaves the money for Ash. After randomly selecting the first one in the pile next to the player, she carefully removed the vinyl disk from inside and hooked it up, slowly dropping the needle after it started spinning. The short musical intro started instantly, bringing a smile to Evie's face as Etta James' "Anything to Say You're Mine" filtered throughout the store.

"Who is this?" Elias asked.

"Etta James," Evie answered. "She's a wonderful singer, and she's most definitely in my top three favorites-"

Evie cut herself off mid-sentence when she turned around to see that Elias had come back around the counter with her and was standing almost directly behind her. Her breath seemed stuck in her throat and she was frozen as they simply stared at each other for a moment, taking each other in. Somewhere in the very back of her mind Evie couldn't help but think just how attractive Elias was. He went from a pale, sickly boy to a handsome young man, his dark hair slightly ruffled from his hat and his eyes were like melted pools of chocolate, warm and inviting. She also just realize that he surpassed her in height by a couple inches (when did that happen?) and during warmer weather it was easy to see that he was graced with defined muscles in his arms and legs due to years of labor. Evie had been aware, but now that they were so close, she actually took the time to really appreciate it. The air around them was quickly becoming warmer and she swallowed thickly, trying to get herself to say something but nothing was coming out.

"Would you like to dance?" Elias asked her, his voice gentle and his eyes never leaving hers.

"I...I-um," Evie stuttered, trying to pull herself together. "I don't dance."

"Everyone dances," Elias said, smiling.

"Not me," Evie countered quietly. "Not in a long time, anyway. I'm not even sure if I remember how."

"Well, let's see," Elias suggested as he offered his hand to her. "Please, Evie?"

Evie glanced down at his hand, her uncertainty nagging at her and her nerves on edge with the change in the atmosphere. How in the world did this go from the two of them eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate to being asked to dance? Most others would view this as harmless but for some reason, it planted a tiny seed of anxiety in Evie's stomach. She hasn't danced at all since Steve died, and she found no desire to do so again, with anyone. Just as she was about to decline again, she made the mistake of looking right into Elias' pleading eyes, admiring how bright they seemed even in the dim lighting of the lamps and ceiling lights. There was something about his eyes that made her resolve break and after what seemed like forever debating with herself she tentatively placed her hand in his, barely whispering, "Okay." Elias continued to smile as he led her from around the counter and over towards the front window where they had the most space, just as the current song ended and another one started. Evie felt her cheeks flare up again as "At Last" began playing and she had to fight to keep her nerves under control. She felt like a timid child as she stood there, allowing Elias to move her one hand to his shoulder while he placed his own at her waist, holding her free hand with his. He pulled her in close and she was positive that her face resembled a fire truck at this point. As the lyrics started, Elias gave her an encouraging look and started to gently sway in circles with her.

"At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song, oh yeah..."

Despite being borderline petrified mere seconds ago, Evie found her body almost immediately loosening up and she felt a sense of joy that she hadn't experienced in so very long. The music guided the slow movements of her feet and she closed her eyes for a minute, savoring the feeling. How could she ever have thought not to dance anymore? If anything, she had forgotten how happy it can make her and how much it can boost her spirits. She gave herself in to the music, letting it wash over her and she relaxed her tense muscles, allowing Elias to lead and she even moved a bit closer to him, feeling very comfortable, safe, and-well, happy in his arms.

"What's wrong?" he muttered softly.

"Nothing," Evie replied honestly. "I just can't believe I forgot how this feels."

"Dancing?"

"Yeah. Dancing."

The song continued on playing while they kept up with their dancing, just rotating in a smooth circle and after a couple of minutes Evie realized she was still staring up at Elias and she wasn't sure if her blush could get any darker at this point. She dipped her head down, focusing on the top button of his coat and trying to ignore the heat in her face. She felt Elias remove his hand from her waist and then he used his fingers to tilt her chin back up so she was looking at him again, his touch tender against her skin. He was gazing at her with such strong emotion that it made her heartbeat pike dangerously high. Evie knew that this was a bad idea on so many different levels but at the same time she couldn't find it in herself to pull away. Not when Elias was looking at her as though she herself was some sort of treasure and not when he started to lean in towards her, their noses almost touching. Almost against her will, Evie's eyes slowly closed just as Elias tilted his head and their lips connected.

It was an instant effect-Evie felt her head begin to spin and butterflies she had thought long since gone were fluttering back to life, creating a pleasant, nearly ticklish sensation in her stomach. Elias' lips were so warm against hers and being so close, she could get stronger whiffs of a strange but nice combination of green apples-which was probably the scent of his hair wash-and sea salt, from his time out on the water. He traced his fingertips over her cheek and she could feel the shiver the shot down her spine as a result, as well as the goosebumps that erupted over her arms. In that moment all she could feel was him, and she ended up pulling him a little closer, responding to his kiss. Something sparked inside of her, something very familiar and something she thought she would never feel again. Wrapped up in this feeling, Evie was content to just stay there, drinking him in and savoring it.

However, their euphoric bubble was suddenly and unexpectedly popped by the sound of the front door bell ringing again, and the sound was enough to make reason slam back into Evie unpleasantly. It was as though she had been struck senseless by a lightning bolt and she pulled away from Elias, taking a couple steps back and placed a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide as the shock and panic nearly sent her crashing to the floor. What did she just do? How could she be so stupid?! She could begin to feel her eyes burn and she had to take a breath to steady herself. This can't be happening. She can't let this happen. Not again.

"Excuse me?" a female's voice said from behind her. "I'm sorry, I know you are very close to closing, but I was wondering if I may take a quick look at your clarinet section? I was hoping to do some comparisons with the prices."

Pulling herself together, Evie forced the lump in her throat down and took another breath before she turned away from Elias to face her customer, plastering her professional smile on her face.

"Of course, Ma'am," she said politely while she walked over towards her. "We have the best prices in town here at Ash's, and I guarantee we may find exactly what you're looking for."

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The next day was Saturday, so thankfully Evie had off from work but at the same time, she was dying for some sort of distraction from the cyclone that was going on inside her head. Her thoughts and her feelings were crashing together like steel blades, the sound ringing in her ears and the conflict was practically overwhelming. Almost right from the very moment she woke up, all she could think about was the kiss she and Elias shared with one another and the different mixture of emotions it stirred within her was enough to bring on a bad headache. On the one hand, she just couldn't believe she let it happen in the first place. The last time she had ever allowed herself to get romantically intimate with someone, she lost them. Although the pain had lessened over the course of the last seventeen years, it was still nowhere near gone. The grief over losing Steve was still tucked away deep within her heart. She just found ways to deal with it. Every time she gets close to someone, it usually ends in disaster, the only exceptions being Howard and Peggy, both of whom just seemed to be too stubborn to keep away if Evie even tried to shut them out again. There was no point in denying that having such an intimate moment with Elias was terrifying but then again it was so...wonderful.

With her mind screaming at her during their private moment, Evie could also feel her heart doing somersaults in her chest, a beautiful sensation washing over her. In that moment with Elias, there was a great feeling of happiness, peace and a spark she had thought was long since dead. She promised herself a long time ago that she could never, ever love anyone the way she loved Steve but one simple kiss seemed to change everything. Along with the panic and pleasant satisfaction, there was also a seed of guilt planted deep within her. It was safe to say that Steve had been the love of her life, but after what she did with Elias, she couldn't help but feel bad. Was this a betrayal to Steve? He's been gone for so long, but Evie knew she would always love him. Could she really have enough room in her heart to love another? Would Elias truly accept her for all that she is, even with such a terrible past? Would she end up losing him too? That last thought made fear stab right through her like an ice-covered knife, and it left her feeling ill. If anything ever happened to Elias, whether it was to some sort of danger or even time, she didn't think she would be able to survive it a second time.

It was because of this that Evie had spent the majority of her morning pacing around in her apartment, trying to figure out how she was going to approach the situation. She knew what she had to do the next time she saw Elias, but she was scared to do it. When her phone rang a couple times earlier in the morning she had ignored it for fear that it was him on the other end. After a while she started to feel much too confined, so she grabbed her coat and then made her way outside into the gray, gloomy and bitter cold morning. Most of the snow from last night had been plowed away from the streets so it wasn't to hard to make her way down to the paved walkway that ran along the edge of the beach, a low concrete wall separating her from the sand. The waves were a bit more hyperactive today, crashing against the shore in the distance and she shivered as a harsh breeze blew her way. She pulled her hat further over her ears before stuffing her hands in her pockets, a frown on her face as she stared at the ground before her, her mind so many miles away. What is she going to do? There was no way she was going to be able to avoid this, but she was too scared to face it as well. She started thinking about all the times that she and Elias had spent together ever since they were reunited this past summer. Did he establish feelings for her during that time, and she just didn't notice? A light blush came to her face as she thought hard about all the dinners and activities they shared, knowing that they could be interpreted as technically "courting" back in her time. Could she really have been ignorant of any signs he may have given her?

Evie wasn't sure how long she spent just walking around in her own thoughts but after what seemed like only minutes-but was actually probably much longer-the cold was finally starting to get to her and she decided to head on home, having gotten enough fresh air for one day. There were not many people out at all, and the few that were hustled along to do whatever they needed to before getting back to the comfort of their own homes. When she rounded the corner that led to her street, her feet nearly came to a screeching halt when she looked up to see that Elias was sitting at the bottom of the stairs that led up to her front door, slightly hunched over and rubbing his hands together. For just a split second Evie thought about turning around and making a run for it, but she didn't even have time to fully think that option through before Elias turned his head and saw her. Knowing it was too late, she reluctantly continued forward, trying to control the anxiety that was creeping up in her chest as Elias stood to his feet. Once she reached him, the two of them just stood there for a minute, staring at each other and trying to think of something to say. After a while Evie licked her lisp and tried speaking at the same time he opened his mouth to talk.

"I think we need to-"

"Evie, I want to-"

Their clumsy fumbling over words managed to make Evie give the tiniest smile and Elias chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous. Another gust of wind blew their way and Evie shivered even more, mentally cursing the cold and offering for them to go inside. Elias gratefully accepted and then stepped back so she could go first up the stairs and unlock the door, which she did with trembling fingers. She breathed a soft sigh of relief when they entered her warm living room and she could feel her skin thawing out. When the door was shut, she took off her hat and coat slowly, not quite sure how to handle the situation.

"Would you like something to drink?" she found herself saying. "I have some coffee from this morning, but I have tea as well, or water, if you'd like. I'm sure I recently picked up some juice as well-"

"I'm all right, thank you," Elias declined, amusement twinkling in his eyes as he gave her a smile she didn't think she deserved. "I was just really hoping that we could talk about what happened last night."

"Uh, yes. Of course," Evie agreed, feeling like there was something caught in her throat, making words difficult. The two of the sat down together at the small kitchen table she had set up next to the window that looked down into the street below and Evie folded her hands on top of it, fiddling with her thumbs and wondering where on earth to start with this. Elias reached over and gently placed his hand on top of hers, rubbing his thumb over them in a reassuring way.

"You don't have to be nervous," he said. "Let me speak first. Last night, I...Evie, I'm not going to lie and say that I regret it, because I don't."

"You don't?" Evie muttered, suddenly finding this to be much harder than she thought.

"No, I don't," he confirmed. "For a long time, I've been trying to find the courage to tell you something, but I always seem to chicken out when the opportunity approaches. But after what happened, I know that I can't keep it to myself anymore."

"Elias, you don't..."

"No, just hear me out, please. I've told you before that for years I've longed to see you again so I could thank you for saving me, but after we ran into each other at the market, I didn't want that to be the end of it. I wanted to make sure we didn't have the chance to drift apart again, and I wanted to get to know you. It was easy for me to be friends with you at first, but after a while it started to become something more. Every time I saw you, you surprised me by revealing more that made me admire you. I've never meet anyone as beautiful, passionate, caring and strong as you. Every time you smile I feel like I can't breathe, your laugh is so contagious I can't help but join in, no matter how upset I am, and you may not realize it but you have a gift of bringing joy and comfort to others, even complete strangers, and I've seen the effect you have on them...the effect you have on me. I know that you have some baggage, I have it too, but you're also the only one who understands my fears and can imagine just a little the true harshness the world can offer. Ever since we met again, I have barely thought about my time back in that cell, and it's all because of you. When I'm with you, I rarely think about all the bad things that have happened in my life, because when I want to feel happy, peaceful, or-or maybe even the closest thing I have to love-all I have to do is think of you."

With every word Elias spoke, it was almost like a dagger was being shoved painfully into Evie's chest and she could feel it constricting. She blinked a couple times when she could feel the terrible weight settle in her stomach unpleasantly as well as the accursed stinging in her eyes. She closed them for a moment to compose herself and, with a great deal of self-loathing, she pulled her hand away from his touch, instantly missing the warmth as she took a quiet breath.

"Elias," she whispered, her voice thick. "I...I can't."

"You can't?"

"We can't so this," she said, trying to get some control over her jittering nerves and resist the urge to hold back what she knew she had to say. "You can't feel like this, not for me. This can't happen."

"What are you talking about, Evie?" Elias asked and Evie's heart clenched when she heard the genuine confusion in his tone. "Are you worried about us not working out because you can't age? If that's the case, I don't care about any of that. The way I feel for you won't go away anytime soon, and I'm more than willing to give this a chance, to give us a chance. I could be seventy years old and you would still send my heart into overdrive whenever you smiled at me."

"Elias, please don't," Evie said, borderline begging as the all too familiar conversation hit her hard and she had to do her best to keep herself from crying. "You don't understand."

"I do," he insisted. "We both have trauma in our pasts that still haunt us, I get that, but I know that if we're there for each other, there's nothing that we can't overcome. I've been feeling this way for so long and I've been dying to tell you so much I thought I would burst. When we kissed last night, that's when I knew I had to tell you...to tell you that I-"

"Elias, that kiss was a mistake," Evie cut him off, finally opening her glossy eyes and staring right at him, trying to put as much resolution into her words as possible. "It shouldn't have happened."

The look on Elias' face made her want to instantly take the words back and plead for forgiveness for saying such a thing. He went very quiet and his expression was a perfect combination of confusion, slight disbelief and profound hurt glimmering in his dark eyes. After about a minute he gave his head a little shake, taking a moment to himself before speaking again.

"What do you mean it was a mistake?" he asked her.

"It was just a simple accident," Evie answered, hating herself more and more with each word that came from her mouth. "A spur of the moment reaction to the situation. We were dancing, there was music, and-I just wasn't thinking, I shouldn't have led you on like that."

"You're lying," Elias stated, furrowing his eyebrows at her. "You're throwing up your walls again."

"I'm not lying," Evie insisted as she folded her arms across her chest and leaned back a bit further into her seat to stare him down.

"Yes, you are," Elias countered. "You kissed me back Evie, you can't say that you didn't."

"I told you, it was-"

"It wasn't a spur of the moment thing! I saw the look in your eyes when you looked at me while we danced. Hell, I felt it! You were completely open with me, and you let me in after years of denying yourself that kind of happiness and love. You don't have to be scared Evie, not with me."

"I'm not scared," Evie said with a frown. "If anything I'm annoyed at myself because I made something look like more than what it was and have gotten your hopes up for nothing. There's not-I mean, there just-there's nothing between us, Elias, other than friendship."

"That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it," Elias argued back, his frustration starting to show. "I know what I saw, and I know what you felt. You feel the same way, but you're too scared of getting hurt again to let me prove to you that I'm not going anywhere, that I won't leave you alone. Don't push me out like this Evie, please. I can't just be friends with you because it's become more than that for me. Every morning when I wake up, you're the first thing I think about and the last thing on my mind every night before I go to sleep. You bring out the best parts of me and accept me for my flaws as well as my baggage. I know that it truthfully hasn't been very long at all since we found each other again, but I can't help how I feel, and I know you may not believe me when I say this-"

"Elias, don't-"

"-but I love you, Evie. I'm in love with you."

"No, you're not," Evie said, standing up from the table and glaring at him. "You can't love me."

"I can, and I do," Elias stated as he stood up as well, placing his hands on the polished wooden surface. "And I know you want to love me back."

"You don't know anything," Evie bit out harshly. "Who are you to dictate how I feel and who I have feelings for? What you think happened last night was not real! It was just a kiss, it didn't mean anything!"

Evie regretted the words the very instant they left her mouth and despite the fact that he tried to hide it, she knew it cut Elias deeply. His frustrated expression dissolved into a blank stare, but his eyes spoke volumes.

"Didn't mean anything, huh?" he asked, and the regret and guilt became worse at the cold, empty tone to his voice. "All right then. I'll tell you what, you look me right in the eye and tell me that you don't feel the same. Tell me you don't love me, that there's absolutely no chance at ever loving me, and what we shared last night truly mean nothing to you. Say it, and mean it."

Elias stared at her almost in a challenging way and Evie felt a tight knot coil in her stomach, her hands clenching into fists at her sides as the seconds ticked by. It really didn't have to end up like this. Right now would be the perfect chance to give in, to apologize and to tell him she didn't mean what she said, and say that she wanted to try again with him, that it meant more to her than anything...

"I don't love you," she said, her words clear and unwavering as she spoke. "I can never love you."

The silence that followed was unbearable. The only sound was the faint ticking of the wall clock, adding to the tense atmosphere that surrounded the two of them. Elias kept his face blank, but there was now a terrible pain and sadness in his eyes that made Evie's heart break and made her want to crumble to the floor. A small part of her knew that she had to do this, but there was a larger part of her screaming in protest, demanding to know what she had just done. After a couple more minutes, Elias straightened up, removing his hands from the table and stuffing them inside his pockets.

"Well, I guess that settles it then," he muttered, emotionless. "I'm sorry to have bothered you with this, Miss Collins. I assure you, it won't happen again. I'll see myself out."

"Elias, don't," Evie said, his empty, formal addressing sending a bolt of panic through her. "Don't leave like this. We can still talk, get past this."

"Get past what?" Elias softly demanded, although he may as well have just yelled at her. "What exactly is it you want to talk about? That we can 'still be friends?' Because I can't do that, and I won't. I already told you, I can't just be friends with you. I should probably get going, now. Have a nice day, Miss Collins."

Evie wanted to stop him from leaving, she really did, but it was as though her limbs were frozen in place and she could no nothing but watch as he left the kitchen without another word. She was still standing rooted to the spot long after she heard the front door open and close, and it was only then that she released her fists, leaving nail marks on her palm. After what seemed like hours, she slowly lowered herself back into her chair, her knees wobbly and her hands shaking. Once she was seated she propped her elbows up onto the table, covered her face in her hands and cried her eyes out, her gut-wrenching sobs echoing throughout the room.

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"Aunt Natalie!"

"Aunt Natty!"

A wide, beaming smile lit up Evie's face as two small bodies collided with her legs, nearly sending her tumbling into the snow. Immediately dropping her suitcase, she bent down and wrapped her arms around the two children who came to greet her, hugging them both against her chest and placing loving kisses on top of both of their heads, laughing at their excitement.

"Michael William and Madeline Jane!" Peggy called out sternly from the front door leading into the house, her eyes wide and her hands on her hips. "The two of you get back inside, this instant! You know better than to run outside in the cold with no jackets in your pajamas!"

"Come on you two, let's get you back inside," Evie giggled as she lifted Maddie up to place her at her hip while Michael eagerly insisted on grabbing Evie's suitcase for her. He practically dragged it through the snow but Evie didn't mind, and she thanked him for being such a gentleman as they walked along the path that led up to the house, where Peggy continued to reprimand her children. Once they were inside, Evie kicked the snow off of her boots and placed another kiss to Maddie's cheek before setting her down on the floor, removing her scarf and coat. She pulled Peggy into a tight hug, sighing in relief while in her best friend's embrace.

"I've missed you, Peggy," she said. "Thank you so much for having me for the weekend."

"It's our pleasure," Peggy told her with a smile as they released each other. "Here, let me take your coat. Will is in the kitchen, we just finished with breakfast. There's plenty left on the stove if you're hungry."

"Thank you, it sounds great," Evie said just before Michael and Maddie grabbed her hands and started pulling her off in the direction of the kitchen, the two of them immediately chattering away about everything and anything they've been up to since the last time they saw her. They both overlapped each other and talked nonstop, only pausing long enough for Evie to greet and give will a proper hug before they practically shoved her into an empty chair, climbing up onto one of their own on both of her sides, their faces bright, red and eager. At some point Peggy came over and placed a plate of food in front of Evie, and she ate slowly while conversing with the kids, listening with interest. Maddie's high points included learning how to ride a bike, getting a brand new barbie doll house to play with, and already conducting a Christmas list. Michael enthusiastically explained how Will and Peggy were going to sign him up for soccer in the spring, and the adventures he went on last weekend while visiting his best friend, Garrett. Even though she was barely able to get a word in, Evie was happy to sit and catch up with her honorary niece and nephew. However, seeing as it was Friday, their excited chatter had to be cut short when Peggy ushered them out of their chairs to go upstairs and get ready for school. A half hour later, Evie was helping Michael and Maddie into their coats, shoving hats onto their heads while Will pulled on his own jacket, intending on dropping the kids off at school before going into work. After reassuring them multiple times that she would still be there when they got back home, Evie waved goodbye to them all as Will marched them down to the car. It wasn't long after that Evie and Peggy found themselves seated in the living room, each with a cup of tea, and Evie smiled in amusement at how Peggy seemed to sag a little into her chair.

"Peggy Prescott, a lady doesn't slouch while sitting," she scolded lightly with a smirk. "What would your mother say?"

"Sod off, Evie," Peggy said, but with a smirk of her own. "You would slouch too after a morning like this, running after those two little scoundrels. They've been up and waiting for you since practically dawn. I swear, they had their internal clocks set."

"What can I say, I'm simply irresistible," Evie giggled.

"Dear Lord, how on earth can Howard still be a bad influence on you when you're on the other side of the country?" Peggy groaned before taking another big sip of her tea.

"He's a man of many talents," Evie replied with a shrug. "How is he, anyway? He's still with Maria, right?"

"Yes, surprisingly. I didn't think I would ever see the day when Howard Stark would finally become serious and have a steady relationship with someone," Peggy admitted.

"I always hoped he would," Evie told her. "I'm just glad Maria was able to tame him, because that's not an easy task. You say he hasn't even looked at anyone else since they got together?"

"Not even a glance," Peggy confirmed. "I truly think he's falling in love with her. Or rather, he had fallen from the start, and it just keeps growing. It's sort of mind baffling, isn't it?"

"To a certain degree. I believe anyone is capable of love, even Howard," Evie said, her voice going a bit soft and sad as she spoke. Peggy noticed this and she gave Evie a gentle look as she set her tea cup down on the table in front of them.

"Evie, do you want to talk about what happened with you and Elias?" she asked.

"I'd rather not, to be perfectly honest," Evie answered, trying to make herself sound nonchalant. "I'm more interested in when I can finally meet Maria for myself."

"Evie, you know you can't avoid this forever. When was the last time you've seen him, or even spoke to him?"

"It doesn't matter Peggy. He doesn't want to see me anyway, so what's the point in bringing it up?"

"The point is you broke a man's heart when he poured his feelings out to you, and you hate yourself for lying to him and pushing him away," Peggy stated in her usual blunt way. "I can see for myself how much this is hurting you, and I could hear it over the phone the last time we talked."

"It doesn't matter," Evie repeated. "It's done and over with. We came to an agreement and things are just better this way."

"From what I can tell, it seems this agreement was apparently one-sided," Peggy pointed out.

"Peggy please, I don't want to go into this right now," Evie sighed. "I came here to spend a long weekend with you, Will and the children, to get away from all the bad things in my life right now. I don't want to reflect on how much of a horrible person I am, all right? Please, just let me enjoy this time with you all."

Peggy pursed her lips and Evie knew she wanted to keep arguing over the issue. But thankfully, Peggy only let out a huff of irritation as she picked her cup up again, the disapproval clear on her face.

"You're an idiot, I hope you realize this," she commented. "If you keep pushing away everyone who is willing to open their heart and give it to you, you will end up alone, angry and bitter for the rest of your life."

The following day, Evie spent the entire morning playing with Michael and Maddie out in the backyard, making snowmen, having a snowball fight, and she even pulled them around the entire yard on a sled, finding joy in hearing their shrieks of delight. By the time they went back inside for lunch, they were all dripping wet from the snow, their cheeks red and almost breathless from all the fun they were having. The afternoon was spent playing board games and Evie even settled down to watch a movie called "Babes in Toyland" with them. It was such a fun filled day, and later on the night, Evie made sure to help Peggy out with dinner before having to get ready to meet up with Howard and Maria. He had called that very morning, asking if she would want to meet up for dinner that night and Evie gladly accepted, having been looking forward to meeting Maria properly for quite some time.

Evie had made it to the restaurant with ten minutes to spare, but when she walked in and informed the hostess she was part of the reservation for Stark, the kind woman immediately showed her to the table, where Howard and Maria were already sitting. Howard looked as sharp as usual, and Maria was very pretty, with her blonde hair curled and wearing a soft blue dress. Howard's face broke into a wide smile when he caught sight of Evie approaching their table and he stood up to greet her with a comforting hug, which she happily returned. As much as he drove her crazy, it felt very nice meeting up with Howard after a long period of time.

"I'm so glad you were able to join us, mon Cherie," Howard said. "I know you were looking forward to spending the weekend with the kiddies."

"They wore me out today, and I know I'm only in for more once I get back," Evie chuckled. "trust me, this is kind of like a vacation from my vacation."

Howard gave a light laugh at that before he held out a hand to Maria, who had stood from her seat and made her way over to them.

"Julie, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Maria Carbonell," he introduced. "Maria, this is Julie Collins, my unofficial niece. Her mother was my absolute best friend in the whole entire world."

"It's very nice to meet you, Julie," Maria greeted with a smile as she and Evie shook hands.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Ms. Carbonell," Evie said with a smile of her own. "I've been dying to meet the beautiful woman my uncle never stops talking about."

"Ah, so he talks about me often?" Maria asked as she raised an eyebrow at Howard, a tiny smirk playing at the corner of her mouth while the man in question actually flushed pink and cleared his throat.

"Every time we're on the phone," Evie confirmed. "I have to admit Ms. Carbonell, any woman who is able to put up with him for two week alone, let alone five whole months, is worthy of a Nobel Prize in my book."

"Well Howard, I have to say, I like your niece already," Maria said, her smiling going wider at the praise.

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret having you too meet up?" Howard sighed dramatically as he pulled out Evie's chair for her. "All right, pip squeak, you sit and behave yourself."

"Yes Uncle Howard," Evie complied, grinning wickedly his way and causing the man to groan softly before he did the same for Maria. Their waiter came over right away with a bread basket and a pitcher of water to fill one of their glasses. He wrote down the orders for their drinks and then left, giving them time to get settled.

"So Julie, Howard says that you live out in California?" Maria asked curiously.

"Yes, I moved out there last summer," Evie confirmed. "It's so beautiful, honestly San Francisco is one of the best cities in the world. Other than New York, of course."

"Yes, Howard said you were born there?"

"Yeah, I spent most of my life there, but after a while I wanted a change. As much as I love New York, I wanted to get out and see what the world had to offer."

Maria nodded her head in understanding, and Evie felt the familiar flicker of guilt in her stomach whenever she lied about her life. To strangers, it wasn't that big of a deal to her, but considering this woman was Howard's girlfriend-a very serious one at that-Evie didn't like the idea of lying right in her face. This woman has brought out a side to Howard that not even she has seen before. He's become more serious in both his extracurricular activities as well as his work at S.I, and there was a certain kind of affection and care he had when it came to Maria that he never expressed before with any of his former girlfriends or flings. Maybe, just maybe, at some point in the future, when it looked like Maria and Howard would be together for quite some time, Evie may just end up telling Maria the truth about herself. If anything, it would save Howard any guilt from having to lie to the woman he loved.

As the night went on, Evie found that she rather enjoyed Maria's company very much. The two of them shared a passion for music that turned into a forty-five minute conversation, and they also found a mutual hobby in poking fun at Howard. Maria came from a wealthy, well-known family and was of Italian and Irish decent. She organized many fundraisers for the less fortunate as well as many children's hospitals, and Evie could tell off the bat that while she seemed to be a caring and compassionate woman, she also had no tolerance for nonsense, and was very intelligent. She was a high end employer of her family's company, and she only spoke of her responsibilities briefly before turning it back to more pleasant topics. Maria explained that whether it's at a restaurant or at home, she didn't want to bring work related subjects to the table, making Evie admire her even more. Howard spent some time talking about some stories of the things he and "Julie's mother" had gotten into in the past, making all of them laugh and by the time dessert came around, Evie was wiping tears from her eyes so she wasn't crying into her chocolate pudding.

"So, when did you decide that you wanted to go out with Uncle Howard?" Evie asked.

"Well, I would have to say it was when he decided to stalk me at the charity event I was helping to host after we met," Maria admitted.

"See, I told you," Evie told Howard with a smug grin. "Stalker. But was it really that soon?"

"Well, from what I could tell, he was being uncharacteristically clumsy, but in a charming sort of way," Maria explained, giving Howard a tender, loving smile as she took his hand on the table. "something about him just made me curious and interested in him, despite the fact that he ruined my favorite dress. I think maybe it was the fact that he took time to actually find me and was genuinely wanting to talk to me that made me think he wasn't trying to pull one over me."

"Never," Howard promised, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. The sight before her was sweet, and Evie took another bite out of her pudding to give them a moment, smiling to herself. When they were all finished with their desserts, their waiter came back with the check and Howard insisted that he would take care of it himself. After he left to go handle it, Maria folded her napkin and smiled again at Evie.

"Howard told me that you may have a special someone of your own back in San Francisco," she said. "What's he like?"

"Oh, um," Evie faltered, her smile easily slipping off her face and her expression becoming a tad bit somber. Maria saw this and backtracked quickly.

"I'm sorry, Julie, it's not right of me to pry into someone's personal love life," she apologized. "Especially since we barely know each other."

"No, no, you're fine Ms. Carbonell," Evie reassured her. "It's just, well...I haven't updated Uncle Howard yet on what happened with me and Elias yet. I actually haven't seen or spoken with him for almost three weeks now. We, uh...our last meeting didn't bode over very well."

"Would you mind me asking what happened?" Maria asked, looking concerned. "Maybe I can help."

I doubt you can. Evie looked at Maria for a moment wondering just what she should say. It's like she said, she barely knew Maria, and they had only just met tonight, so she had no obligation to bore her with her problems. Unloading her troubles onto a stranger isn't a habit Evie practiced.

But...maybe it might help because of the fact that she's a stranger? Dr. Baker once mentioned it can be easier to discuss problems with people you don't know well because they're more inclined to listen with an unbiased ear.

"I did something bad," Evie murmured after another minute of silence. "I told Elias that I didn't love him."

"Do you?" Maria said.

"I...I'm not sure," Evie admitted honestly. "I think-I just might. Or at least, I want to try to love him back. It's just a bit complicated."

"How so?"

"I was in love once before. It took me forever to admit my feelings for him, and even longer to act on them. He was...he was my everything. He was there at a time for me when no one else was, and he made me smile so much I was sure my face would split in two half of the time. I had never met a more brave, noble, and selfless man before in my life, and he amazed me with just how good he was. Not a day went by when he he would show me in some way, big or small, that he loved me, even when I thought no one could. But he died the year after we got together, and I...I was a wreck for such a long time. I lost him, as well as members of my family-even ones not related to me by blood-within the time span of a few years, and it took me a very long time to move on from all of it. Now, with Elias admitting his feelings for me, knowing I want to return them, it terrifies me. I don't think I can survive any more heartbreak, and he deserves so much better anyway."

"What makes you say that?" Maria inquired. "Why do you believe he deserves better? Because to tell you the truth Julie, even though we just met, I'm having a hard time finding a reason for this man to not like you. You're a polite, charming and sweet young girl who has so much potential and so much life. Howard thinks the world of you, and I can start to see why. Let me tell you a little secret of my own...I was in love once before as well."

"You were?" Evie said in surprise.

"Yes," Maria muttered with a sad smile. "He was a medic, he fought in the Korean War. So handsome, smart, and his greatest aspiration was to be a doctor once he returned home. We met two years before the war started, and at the time, I could definitely see myself loving no one other than him. We even arranged to get married once I turned eighteen, even though my parents were against the idea. But his platoon was ambushed while they were walking through a bit of farmland. He went out to try and save a farmer who had been shot in the leg in the middle of a field, and he didn't realize it was scattered with land mines."

"Oh, Ms. Carbonell, I'm so sorry," Evie whispered.

"It's all right, dear. He died a hero, and I couldn't be more proud of him," Maria continued on, a faint twinkle in her green eyes. "I understand, more than anyone, the feeling of losing someone you love, especially in such a devastating way. I promised myself that I wouldn't even give another man a chance, and I've kept that promise for just over ten years. But then, when Howard followed me back to New York, he did something that I never expected."

"What was that?" Evie asked.

"He made me laugh," Maria replied.

"What? But he said..."

"Well, I couldn't very well let him know head-on now, could I? I waited until after I left the event to let it all out, and I couldn't stop for a good five minutes. It was the first time I had laughed like that since George, and it felt wonderful. I admit, I was confused and a bit guilty, thinking I was betraying George in some way. But the way Howard makes me feel, the sheer happiness I've experienced with him, it changed my views on things. George told me once that all he would ever live for was to see me smile. I'd like to think he would still stand by that notion if he could see me now, after spending so long hardly smiling at all."

Evie was quiet for a moment, staring down at the tablecloth in front of her as she mulled over Maria's words. Maria reached over and gently took one of Evie's hands in her own.

"Answer me this, Julie. You remember all the pain, grief, and hopelessness that came along with losing the man you loved?"

Evie nodded silently in response.

"Are you really prepared to go through it all again?"

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