Hello, everyone. I do apologize for the short chapter, a while ago I lost chapters 8-10 of this story and I've been trying my best to remember everything I had previously written, but it may result in the next couple of chapters being smaller than usual. I hope that you all enjoy this one, and I'll try to have another update as soon as possible.

Disclaimer: All things that are in, associated with, or based off of Marvel or the MCU in any way are NOT mine!

Chapter Eight: A Leap of Faith

EviePOV

February 14, 1962

Ocean Beach, San Francisco

Punch, punch, swerve, kick, punch, punch, swerve, kick…

Evie repeated the steps in her head as she maneuvered her way around the punching bag, her movements swift and her strikes forceful, yet not enough to a point where she would cause any sort of real damage. The empty gym was quiet except for the sounds of her grunts and the sound of her gloved fists making contact with the bag. The owner had left some time ago, with instructions to lock up the place when she was through, and Evie had never been more grateful for the time alone. She and the owner had come to an arrangement some time ago, when she had repaired a beloved violin that belonged to his grandfather, and was on the borderline of being ruined. After taking it to other shops around town, the man, Murray, was about to lose hope, but Evie—having spent many weekends of her childhood taking lessons from a violin maker—was able to repair it for him. In his gratitude, Murray had asked Evie if there was anything that he could do for her in return, seeing as the instrument was very precious to him. At first Evie told him that there wasn't anything she needed, but after thinking for a moment, she had decided that there was something he could help her with.

While she was making repairs, Murray mentioned that he owned a local gym for athletes not too far away from where she worked, and it sparked an idea in Evie's mind. One of the worst things about being a woman in this day and age is having almost everyone believe that she shouldn't—and couldn't—fight, or hold her own. She remembered when she had first joined the army in the second World War, as well as when Phillips got her into Will's unit back in Korea. She received many looks, and even harsh words about how a delicate thing like her had no business in the army with the big boys. It aggravated her to no end, even more so after she spent years training with the Ancient One in Kamar Taj. The Sorceress Supreme accepted both men and women under her wing, teaching all who wanted to learn the mystic arts, and the intense combat fighting that came along with it. For three years, Evie spent time with brilliant female fighters who could work just as hard and strong as any man, so coming back to the simple-minded folk in the west was more than just a little frustrating. And seeing as how no one could ever consider providing her with the tools she needed, Evie knew she was desperately out of practice.

However, with Murray, she saw an opportunity. Knowing that she could very well get in trouble for it, Evie told him that she would accept only half of the total cost for the repair, and for him to allow access to his gym two times a week, for an extra hour after he normally closes, when everyone else has left. Murray was understandably hesitant about this, but in the end after some convincing, he was willing to agree to Evie's terms.

That had been several months ago, and once Murray trusted her enough that she wasn't going to rob him blind or trash his beloved gym, he started letting her stay in the building alone, as long as she closed up when she was done. He never asked any questions as to why she wanted to use the equipment normally used by his male customers, and not the flimsy ones used by the women, ones looking like large rubber bands, and step stools. Evie had a feeling after watching her beat the punching bag into submission the first night, Murray had an idea that Evie was anything but a fragile flower who couldn't handle the big toys in the playroom. Now, she was left letting out her aggravation on the bag, watching it swing back and forth and she battled with the emotions bubbling over inside of her. Her mind kept going back to her last conversation with Elias, and the terrible things she said to him. The lies that she told him.

No, she thought savagely, giving more force to her punches and kicks. I can't do this.

"I don't love him," she grunted loudly, throwing a particularly hard hit to the bag, making it sway backwards. "I don't love him."

Punch, punch, swerve, kick…

"I can't love him."

Punch, punch, swerve, kick…

But…but I do.

The sudden shift in her thoughts caused a huge ripple of shock to go through her body, and she was so stunned that she didn't realize that she hit the bag harder than she meant to. By the time she realized it, the bag was coming back towards her at full speed and the next thing she knew, she was knocked off her feet and falling back right on her rear end, letting out a startled "oof!" as she went down for the count. The brief pain she felt quickly faded, and for a moment she just laid there on the floor, breathing heavily, her chest heaving and her mind racing with the new revelation she just had.

"I love him," she panted, her eyes wide as the reality of it sunk in. "Oh my God, I love him."

Evie wasn't quite sure how long she laid there on the floor of the gym, staring up at the ceiling and trying to process that fact that despite her best efforts, she had fallen in love with Elias Ackerman. After so many years believing there would be no one else but Steve, she actually fell for someone else. Pretty damn hard too if she was being completely honest with herself. Somehow the idea gave her an elated but guilty feeling all at the same time. If she fell in love with Elias, does that mean she betrayed Steve, and everything they had together? Or that she loved him less than she believed she did? Steve was her one and only, or so she thought. Could it really be possible to love more than one person in one lifetime? She's heard of people falling in love more than once, of course, but she never, ever believed she would be one of them. Not after all the hurt that love had cost her already. For a little while, Evie stayed there, consumed in her confusing thoughts until her heartbeat had returned to normal and her breathing had evened out. Then, she finally got up, dusted herself off, and then went to go change in the nearby bathroom.

With the thoughts still swirling around in her head, Evie was set on auto pilot as she gathered her things and then left the gym, making sure to lock the door behind her after turning off all the lights. As she started walking home, she savored the chilly late night wind against her warm, flushed cheeks, and her movements were brisk as she headed on home. All she could think about was Elias—his voice, his eyes, his smile, and the feeling of his lips against hers, which she suddenly found herself missing very much. She was so preoccupied, the time seemed to fly by quickly and she was at her front door before she knew it, stepping inside and kicking off her shoes in the front hallway. It was only ten minutes later that she was sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand, and soft music playing in the background, because will how full her head was, there was no way she was ready to go to bed any time soon. Taking a sip of her wine, she tried to make sense of all of this.

One thing she knew, was that she had indeed fallen in love with Elias. The second thing she knew, was that no matter how she felt, she was worried in some way she was forgetting Steve, although the more logical part of her brain knew that was just impossible. Not only that, what would happen if she did decide to do something about this? She hurt Elias so badly, how could she even expect him to forgive her? If not for the harsh words she spoke to him, then definitely because those words had been a lie. She just didn't want to face it at the time. Many people she had dared to love were dead, far too early in their lives, and there was still that lingering feeling that if she tried to open herself up that way again, she will only get more heartbreak. It was a track record she was trying her very best to break, because she didn't think she could handle losing anyone else, especially Elias.

Although, would it really be so terrible? Howard, Peggy, and the Commandos were still there in her life, alive and doing well. Maybe, just maybe, having a life with Elias wouldn't be doomed to fail? But the real question was, is she ready for that? If she was, will Elias want to take that step with her after she broke his heart? The uncertainty of it all was starting to give her a headache, and Evie groaned to herself, setting her glass down and rubbing her temples with her fingers, feeling utterly conflicted.

"I need a sign," she muttered. "Just a sign, or a hint, to tell me what to do."

At that moment, the song that was currently on the radio was over, and a new one started up almost right after. An all too familiar tune reached her ears and Evie picked her head up, zoning in on the musical intro to Moonlight Serenade, absolutely stunned. She hasn't heard this song in so very long, and it always made her think of that wonderful night, when she danced with Steve in 1944. Has it really been that long? The soft notes floated on the air surrounding her, taking her back to happier days and warm thoughts, and feelings. By the time the trumpets joined in, Evie could feel a slight burning in her eyes and she smiled to herself, allowing one tear to fall before she wiped it away, knowing that this was just what she needed to hear.

"Thanks, Steve," she whispered to herself. "I could only imagine the look you would be giving me right now. Don't worry…I know what I need to do."

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"Next stop, Fisherman's Wharf! Next stop, Fisherman's Wharf!"

The nerves twisting around in Evie's stomach were tightening to a new level of discomfort, but she ignored it as she made her way over to the doors that would lead outside as the bus slowed down to a stop. Once she stepped off onto the pavement, she stared around at her surroundings, trying to catch sight of the docks, and the fish factory where Elias and his crew would deliver their catch of the day. The pier was abuzz with activity, despite the cold weather, with people out and about shopping, or eating inside of one of the very many local restaurants. After looking around, Evie was finally able to spot the correct building not to far away from where she was, right across from Pier 45. Drawing her coat a bit closer to herself, Evie marched off in the direction of the factory, trying her best to calm herself down for what she was about to do. She knew it had to be done, but there was a part of her that was still so terrified it nearly made her nauseous. These troubling thoughts continued to pester her until she made her way through the small crowds of people to the entranceway into the factory, where she asked for directions to the front office. When she got there, she spoke with a kindly elderly man who told her that Elias' boat, The Trident, was not docked, and that they were still out to sea.

"Oh," Evie murmured, her face falling instantly. "Do you have any idea what time they may be back?"

"I'm sorry miss, but our boats are not scheduled to be back until sunset, at the latest," the man replied. "They're trying to get all they can before the end of the season."

"I see," Evie said sadly. "Is there any way that I could possibly get a message out to The Trident?"

"The radio stations are not to be used unless for emergencies," the man stated. "And we need to keep them open in case of any possible change in the weather."

"I understand, really, but this is sort of an emergency," Evie insisted, her eyes pleading. "I did something horrible and I need to make it right. I promise, I won't be more than five minutes."

"I'm truly sorry miss, but I cannot allow it—"

"Murphy, is everything all right, here?"

Evie turned her head at the sound of the new voice that had joined in and she had to do a double take to look over the man who had just entered the office. For a brief second, her first impression of the man was that he was a real-life reincarnate of Captain Ahab from one of her favorite childhood stories, Moby Dick, only without the missing leg. The deep blue seas coat he wore over his frayed, patched up white shirt was buttoned up, and his snow white hair contrasted against his tanned skin, which was probably a result of many long, sunny days out on the open sea. His boots squeaked a little as he walked, and the pipe that was hanging out of the corner of his mouth puffed foul-smelling clouds of smoke that made Evie's nose wrinkle a little. His eyes were a steel gray and narrowed into sharp slits, his hat somewhat crooked on his head and his mustache twitching a little. As he neared, Evie inhaled the intense scent of sea salt and fish radiating from him, which really wasn't much surprising considering where she was.

"No, Mr. Whales," Murphey answered. "I was just explaining to this young lady that we are not able to provide our radios for personal use."

"No weeping calls to your fella over our stations," Whales bit out, removing his pipe and blowing out more smoke. "You're not the first woman who's asked, and with my luck you certainly won't be the last."

"Mr. Whales, I assure you this is not a weeping call," Evie countered. "I need to fix a mistake that I made, and—"

"If you're having relation trouble, fix it on your own time," Mr. Whales cut in, waving an impatient hand while walking up to the desk with his free hand extended towards Murphy. "Right now my men are working. You can wait until they come back to dock, and clock out for the day."

"But sir, please, this isn't something that can wait," Evie said, while Murphy handed Mr. Whales a clipboard that seemed to have a two-inch thick pile of papers attached to it, earning a distasteful look from the old seaman. "You have my word, all I need is five minutes to say I'm sorry. If Elias never wants to hear from me again, I will never—"

"Hold on there," Whales said, pausing in his movements and giving Evie a strange look. "Elias Ackerman?"

"Yes," Evie confirmed. In the few short seconds after she spoke, the distasteful expression on Whales face grew and a deep scowl settled on his lips. His gray eyes glared at her, making her fidget, and she could practically feel the sonic waves of his judgement. The silence dragged on longer than she liked, until he barked at her to follow him before leaving the office through the back door that looked as though it led straight into the factory. Stunned and only slightly nervous, Evie followed Whales through the door and found that her assumption had been right. After walking down a long hallway that led past several small offices, they went through a pair of large metal doors, and suddenly Evie was surrounded by men going this way and that, pushing and pulling hulking carts of fish, crab and lobsters of all kinds. There was an assembly line off to the far left that was helping to pack up the fish that came their way to load them onto the trucks that were sure to be waiting somewhere outside, and others were just handling all the heavy machinery in the vast, open space. The sounds of the machines and voices overlapping each other was loud in Evie's ears, and she glanced around in curiosity as she followed Whales around all of it to a large set of stairs that led up to another office space.

Clamoring up the staircase, Whales grunted as he ushered her inside, and upon entering, she realized that this had to be Whales' office. There was a desk set up in front of the windows that looked out over the entire work floor below, and there were several file cases stacked up against the walls. Charts, maps, weather reports and general notes were pinned to the bulletin board on the right, and there was a single couch set up close to the door, next to a small heater that provided instant warmth the very second they walked into the room. Whales closed the door behind him and strode over towards his chair, grumbling for Evie to take a seat in the one across from him. Once they were both seated, Whales took off his hat, but kept his pipe firmly in his mouth, puffing a few times before he turned his attention back to Evie, the glare still in his eyes.

"Now listen here, lassie," he said. "I don't know what you think you'd be gaining by coming down here, but you're a fool nonetheless."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I don't know what game you think you're playing, but you have no right showing up and thinking you can pour more salt into the wound. There's enough damage that's been done by you already."

It took a moment for Evie to realize what he was talking about, and she hung her head a little, her cheeks going pink.

"Elias told you?" she asked quietly.

"No, but his loud mouth, dolt of a friend Goodman had a thing or two to say about it as I was walking by. Although, it wouldn't have been hard to figure out considering he went from a happy go lucky sap to a depressed sea slug overnight. I reckoned the only one who can do that to a man had to be a woman."

Evie swallowed hard, the guilt stabbing at her heart again before she lifted her head to look at Whales.

"I'm not trying to play any games, Mr. Whales," she stated, trying to sound firm. "I hurt someone who means a great deal to me, more than I would have thought possible. I just want to tell him how sorry I am, and how I feel."

"From the sound of it, you seem to have made your feelings quite clear on the matter," Whales argued. "I don't need to here confusing the poor lad and distracting him. You're not worth the time or the thought."

"You're right, I'm probably not, and he needs to know that," Evie agreed, and she could tell from Whale's raised eyebrow that she threw him for a loop. "Sir, I know it was incredibly stupid, but I was scared. In order to keep myself safe, I lied and hurt the man I love so badly. He needs to know that I didn't mean the things that I said, and tell him the truth so he can decide whether or not I'm worth the time."

"Now don't you go throwing around that word carelessly, lass," Whales warned, pointing a finger at her angrily. "I like Ackerman, he's a good lad, and one of the best damn workers I've ever had under me. I won't let him get broken by a fickle girl who can't make up her mind and will throw him away like yesterday's garbage. Love is commitment, and it is kind, and brave enough to face any obstacle life hurls at you. Give me one good reason why I should even believe that what you say is true?"

"I can't give you a reason," Evie replied. "And even if I could, it doesn't matter. You're not the one I need to apologize to."

Whales didn't look fully convinced, although his harsh stare did lessen up some. He seemed to be debating with himself for a few minutes before he cursed softly under his breath and slammed his pipe down onto the top of his desk, rolling his chair over towards his radio where he picked up the microphone and his headset. He dialed some sort of code into the keypad and adjusted the proper knobs to get the correct frequency and then rolled back over towards her, his scowl still in place.

"You get five minutes, and five minutes only. No whimpering pleas, or tear-filled promises, or pathetic begging, because I don't have the time for that nonsense" he snarked. "I'm only doing this because he deserves an apology, and if he makes it clear that he doesn't want anything to do with you, you close the door behind you on your way out. Understood?"

"Yes," Evie answered, swallowing hard again. Her hands began shaking and she clasped them in front of her while Whales placed the headset over his ears and then flicked a couple switches before pressing a button on the microphone, making it light up red.

"This is Whales, contacting Rucker on The Siren. Again, this is Whales, do you copy, Bobby?" he said before releasing the button. All was silent for a moment before he nodded and pressed the button again to speak. "Yeah Bobby, listen, I need to speak with Ackerman, get him on the line, would you? Make it quick."

There was another period of silence, and Evie's nerves increased with each passing second, her heart beating heavily in her chest, wondering just what would happen. Would Elias even want to speak to her? If he did, would he listen to what she had to say? Would it even matter to him, after the pain she's caused him? These thoughts plagued her while they waited, and after what felt like hours, Whales spoke again.

"Ackerman," he said, making Evie's heart come to a stand still. "Everything's fine lad, just listen to me. There's a woman here who wants to speak with you, says she's got something important to say. I think you know, son. Yes, it's her."

Yet again, more silence, and it was starting to drive Evie crazy, not being able to hear what was being said. But then again, she may not even want to know. Another minute passed before Whales turned his gaze to her, his eyes narrowed and his voice gruff.

"He doesn't want to talk to you, lass."

His words hit Evie like a ton of bricks, and she could feel the contents of her stomach drop straight down through the floor, leaving her feeling empty and numb. The rejection stung more than she thought it would and her chest began to physically ache terribly while her eyes burned with the threat of tears.

It's too late. He hates me…he hates me. This feeling was utterly unbearable, but somehow, she managed to keep herself together. Taking a deep, shaking breath, she straightened up in her seat and cleared her throat.

"Then please, tell him for me," she said, and then continued on before Whale could have a chance to deny her request. "Tell him that I'm so very sorry for the things that I said to him. I hurt him badly, and I know nothing that I can say now will ever make up for it. He deserves so much better than me."

Whales nodded with a grunt and just as he was about to talk into the microphone again, Evie stopped him.

"Also, tell him that he was right," she added, and then continued when Whales raised his eyebrow again for elaboration. "I was afraid. I have lost so much in my life, and I was too scared that if I opened myself up to him, I would just be setting myself up for heartbreak all over again. It's as though some external force is always trying to rip apart or take away the ones that I love most in this world, it's left me with barely anything left, and I don't think I would be able to survive if anything ever happened to him, because I…because I love him. I love him, and I lied to him about it.

"I lied because I thought I was protecting myself and him, but all it's done was cause pain, knowing how much I've hurt him. The things that I said to him were cruel and selfish and I'd give anything to take it back, because not having him in my life is something I can't stand. If he never wants to see me or speak to me ever again, I understand, I know what I did can't be undone. But if he can find it in himself to forgive me, I swear it will not be wasted. I will spend every day showing him how much he means to me, and how he managed to change my world for the better since he came into my life. That feeling I have when I'm with him…I will never take advantage of it again."

By the time Evie was done with her rant, her eyes were glassy-looking, but she refused to let her tears fall. She had no right to be the one to cry and break after all that happened between her and Elias. Whales simply stared at her for a minute or two, his eyes boring into her as though he were looking for some sort of deception, but when he found none, his scowl faded and he just gave her more of a blank look. Evie immediately felt sheepish for blabbering so much, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to make sure she got everything she wanted to say off her chest, even if Elias didn't want to speak to her, but it may have been a bit much for Whales to remember to pass on. Just as she was about to apologize though, Whale sighed and turned back towards the microphone.

"You get all of that, Ackerman?" he asked. For a few seconds Evie was confused, but her eyes widened when she saw that Whale's finger had been pressed down on the button the entire time she had been speaking. She had been talking through the radio this whole time, and if anyone was within close proximity of Elias, they might have heard her too. The thought made her cheeks flush a bright shade of red and the embarrassment made her want to sink right down into the floor.

"Good…you better, because so help me if you leave me with a sobbing woman in my office I'll bring The Trident out there to chuck you into the bay myself."

With that being said, Whales ended the transmission and pulled his headset off of his ears, setting them to the side.

"He said to meet him at the end of Pier 45 tonight," he said. "And lass, for his sake and yours…don't muck this up, all right?"

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

The evening breeze sent a chilling wind through the air, but Evie did her best to ignore it as she stood at the end of the pier, waiting for Elias. It wasn't too long past sunset, and she tried to keep herself preoccupied, pacing back and forth with the boards creaking beneath her feet. Her nerves were damn close to getting the best of her but she just focused on controlling her breathing, telling herself that everything would be all right.

I mean, it has to, doesn't it? Elias had—at the very least—agreed to meet up with her, which was more that what she expected, but was exactly what she had hoped for. He was willing to talk, and even though there was the possibility it was to tell her he'd rather them part as friends, she kept telling herself not to lose hope. Hope was the one thing that failed to leave her be no matter how dark the situation was, whether she liked it or not. It was something her father had expressed frequently and sincerely during her childhood, and she always made her best attempts to hold onto it. At one point, Evie slowed down her pacing, staring out over the railing into the disappearing darkness of the sea, where the bright lights of the pier faded away, leaving nothing but black that led all the way out into the vast leagues of the Pacific. The sound of the waves below brought her a small comfort, however they did also bring yet another fiercely cold breeze her way, strong enough to make her hiss softly and huddle in closer to herself, rubbing her bare hands together.

"You know, it's your own fault for not wearing a scarf or gloves."

Evie looked over to see Elias standing there, watching her with a flicker of exasperated amusement in his eyes. He wore his slightly tattered, patched, button up coat, his baggy black pants that had loose strings around the pockets, and his fishing boots that engulfed his feet. She had a feeling this was what he normally wore whenever he went out on the boat, but in her eyes, he was still beautiful.

"Well, in my defense, I was sort of in a rush today," she said, offering a weak smile before it faltered, and she shamefully brought her eyes to the ground. She opened her mouth to speak, to say the words she had been going over in her head again and again since leaving Whale's office to walk down to the pier. Yet they fumbled on their way up her throat and for the life of her, she didn't even know where to begin. The guilt and sadness nearly choked her and she could feel her eyes sting. During all of this, Elias walked over towards her, untying his scarf from around his neck and looping it over Evie's head, taking her by surprise when he started to wrap it around her own neck.

"Here, take this," he said, giving her a small smile. "We don't want you to catch a cold now, do we?"

"Elias," Evie said, her voice quivering. "Elias, I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you, and lied to you. I just—I couldn't, I…"

Her oncoming tears made her words die off in her mouth and she silently cursed herself for being so weak. Elias said nothing—instead, he used one hand to gently cup her face while the other lightly tugged on the scarf to bring her even closer to him. Evie could feel her heart pounding in her ears as she gazed up into Elias' dark eyes, the world around her fading away into muffle sounds. He looked at her in a way that made her shiver and she savored his touch, easily leaning into him as he wound his arm around her waist. There was no protest as he dipped his head down, and her eyes fluttered closed just as he pressed his lips tenderly against hers.

All that Evie could process in that moment was how much she had missed this feeling. The kiss was gentle, yet somehow fierce, as though they were each trying to make the moment last, but also making up for all the time wasted. By the time they broke apart for air, Evie was in a haze, her hands lightly gripping the front of Elias' coat, and feeling much warmer than she had before. Elias leaned his forehead against hers, and even though her eyes were closed, she could still hear the smile in his voice when he spoke to her softly.

"It's okay, Evie," he whispered. "I forgive you. And I love you, too."

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Please let me know what you guys think of this chapter, and I'll see you in the next one!