Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and suggestions. Most of the suggestions made it into this chapter. I'm so glad that everyone is enjoying it. So thank you to everyone again.

Do not ask Teal'c to tell you a joke.

Do not try to make Teal'c laugh. The only thing that makes him laugh are jokes that no one else understands.

If Dr. Jackson refers to a culture as fascinating, be prepared as something bad will happen within the next five minutes

Do not mock Star Wars in Teal'c's presence unless you have a death wish

Never ask if Walter goes home...he has a camouflage sleeping bag under his console in the command room

If you see a hot female, excepting Colonel Carter, do not trust her.

If Colonel Carter shows interest in you and you are not General O'Neill, do not trust her.

If you have only military training and are not General O'Neill, then you will die.

Your chances of survival are increased if you only have a PHD, but not guaranteed (as evidence by Dr. Jackson).

If you have military training and at least one PHD, you will most likely not die for a while, and if you do, you probably won't stay dead.

Never use clichés around General O'Neill.

Never end a sentence with a preposition in front of General O'Neill, unless you want to be corrected in front of everyone.

Never make fun of the doctor's height.

We really don't really understand the next two, but Ferreti apparently emailed them to himself, though he denies it. So we are putting them on in case someone manages to make sense of them.

Do not joke around with Vala by making a pass at her because she'll do it.

If Daniel is drunk do not and I repeat DO NOT leave him in a room alone with Vala! He will be unable to defend himself.

If you're under attack and Colonel Carter needs to figure out/fix some technology, just yell "Carter!" and she'll do it in a second.

Be very careful with the use of the word "how"

Do not ask General O'Neill advice on crosswords. Especially physics ones.

Do not mention Tanith in Teal'c's presence.

Don't call Colonel Carter a dumb blonde. The last guy who did was shipped out to Russia, and then ended up in Atlantis.

Never tell SG-1 "no"

If you do tell SG-1 "no", under no circumstances expect them to listen.

The black saving the world outfits are only to be used when you are defying a direct order. Which is why SG-1 has so many of them.

Get out as soon as a situation becomes "squirrely".

If General O'Neill knows stuff that was in your report, something is wrong.

If you want to let General O'Neill know something, do not do it in form of a memo. He won't get it.

If a television crew is filming, try to get close enough to watch SG-1's interviews. They will be very amusing.

Listen to doctors. They are usually right.

If someone starts talking in a weird deep voice, or starts having glowing eyes, then they are most likely infested with a Goa'uld. It could be a Tok'ra, but check with them first.

Don't sit in the big chair. Dr. Jackson got shot by trainees with full powered intars last time he tried.

If you go to any alternate reality, expect General O'Neill and Colonel Carter to be married, engaged, or together in some form.

If it looks like you brought a disease that is killing of the population of some world, check for Goa'uld involvement, destroyed plant life, or anything else you can think of before blaming yourself.

High, annoying sounds can cause extreme irritability and headaches.

Pretty lights can be very addictive.

Sarcophagi can be even more addictive, and in addition will steal your soul.

If anyone had recently been in a Sarcophagus, don't trust them until they get past the withdrawal.

Like I said, comments are what make more chapters come. Well suggestions actually. So keep them coming.