Sorry I didn't post for so long, but I was stuck on pathetically slow dial up. Thank you to everyone who made suggestions and comments. Comment are what makes more chapters come of this. I think that there will be either one or two more chapters of this depending on how many suggestions I get, and how many brainwaves I get.

Never say 'It's too quiet', 'What could possibly go wrong?', 'This is too easy', 'What's the worst that could happen?' etc. because that is just when something will happen.

Don't be surprised if Colonel Carter gets possessed.

If you ever do leave a man behind, you will be going back for them.

Don't suggest leaving a member of SG-1 behind anywhere, or declaring them MIA, anytime, unless you want to make a public fool of yourself.

Don't offer to ship someone the big chair. They'll make you do it.

Don't refer to the Asgard's 'little grey butts' or make any other derogatory comments towards them. Only General O'Neill can get away with that.

Just because they look like they're made of sparkly purple Lego, doesn't mean they aren't extremely dangerous.

Guns work on replicators. Zats or any other energy weapons don't. Don't flaunt this in our allies' faces.

Wizard of Oz references are exclusively SG1's property. Let them have all the trouble that comes out of using them.

General O'Neill is the only one who can mock Ba'al, or make Ba'al jokes.

Never use "I'm a cop" or anything similar as a pickup line. It will make you sound like an idiot. You will get shot.

Nanites are usually bad.

As soon as someone starts talking in the first person plural, start running away.

Black holes tend to cause more problems than they are worth. Same with gas clouds.

Never let SG1 capture a Goa'uld mothership if you expect it to get back to earth in one piece.

SG1's iris code has a habit of showing up even when they are on earth. Don't be surprised at the number of duplicates there are out there. It's SG1. Anything is possible.

Partially ascended Goa'ulds are very dangerous.

Just because someone can't be seen, doesn't mean they aren't there.

When many people are all seeing the same hallucination, there is probably an explanation for it.

Just because someone looks like someone you know, doesn't mean they are.

'Go to Sokar' means the exact same thing as 'Go to Hell'

Don't ask SG1 how many Goa'ulds they have killed. You will be there for a while.

Be very careful about bringing alien technology back to the SGC. Something will usually go wrong.

Time travel is possible.

Big bugs are usually bad.

If two people start acting like each other, don't assume that they are just imitating each other.

Nothing is as it appears to be. If someone suddenly quits the SGC, check if they are being blackmailed before you resign yourself to their replacement.

If a much younger person suddenly shows up pretending to be someone you know, don't automatically assume they are lying. It could turn out to be slightly embarrassing.

It is perfectly possible for someone to have multiple personalities inside their head.

Viruses tend to get out of hand. Don't mess with the Stargate network.

If your own brain would never let you quit, then don't play virtual reality simulations.

So you know what I want. Please comment and suggest.