Lessons resumed the next morning, though Lily had to admit that it felt strange to have officers from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement standing at the back of every classroom, surveying the students as if at any moment one of them would turn into Lord Voldemort himself. They were like extra prefects — she couldn't even make her rounds without running into an Auror who was also doing a slow patrol of the corridors.

There was one unexpected benefit to having Aurors and DMLE officers posted about the castle: Mulciber's gang didn't dare step a toe out of line with them around. She'd expected the Slytherins to be emboldened, even dangerous, after Lord Voldemort's attack on the Hogwarts Express, but even Mulciber seemed to realize that cursing first years was not a good idea with Aurors around.

Severus kept staring at her during Potions lessons. Probably seeking confirmation that she'd been traumatized by what had happened on the Hogwarts Express, if she had to guess. She ignored him, except to laugh more loudly than usual whenever he was within earshot. She refused to give him the satisfaction of thinking she was afraid.

During their second lesson of the new term, he stared at her so pointedly that he failed to notice Edmund Avery put Gurdeyroot instead of ginger in the Hiccoughing Solution they were brewing. The potion began to emit a cloud of smoke so foul that the entire class had to evacuate the dungeon and wait in the corridor while Slughorn fumigated the room.

Lily made sure to laugh at Severus' mistake, and rather nastily, too. That seemed to teach him a lesson; he kept his eyes on his cauldron after that.

The last week of January, signups for Apparition lessons appeared on the noticeboard in the Gryffindor common room. Lily reluctantly added her name to the list. She hated travelling by Floo Powder, Portkey, and broomstick, so she was certain that Apparition would be similarly unpleasant.

"It's really not so bad," said Mary, trying to reassure her. "When I was Side-Alonged, it was exactly like travelling by Floo, except it was also horribly painful and I felt like I was dying because I couldn't breathe."

"Oh, well if that's all," said Lily sarcastically. "Now I'm really looking forward to Apparating."

Their first lesson was held in the Great Hall, which had been cleared of its tables to make room for the forty-odd students who would be learning to Apparate. An instructor from the Ministry gave a short lecture on the basics of Apparition, but his instructions were so vague that Lily doubted she'd be able to grasp the trick of it quickly.

After the lecture, the students were to practise turning on their heels. Aurors sat quietly at the staff table, watching their efforts like a panel of judges.

"I wish they wouldn't watch us," moaned Mary with a glance at the staff table. "I don't do well under pressure, look…" She turned halfheartedly on her heel, then wobbled and fell to the ground.

Marlene snorted. She extended a hand to help her up. "Yeah, you really made a good effort there, shame…"

A loud crack sounded from the other side of the Great Hall, catching Lily's attention. Sirius Black had successfully Apparated into one of the wooden hoops strewn about the Hall. He bowed theatrically as Peter Pettigrew applauded, then spun again and vanished with another resounding crack. He appeared in another hoop twenty feet to the left, looking very smug.

He certainly seemed happier than he had last term, when he'd asked her what it was like to feel guilty. But — hadn't he gone home for the holidays? He'd never returned to St Mungo's after his first visit to Fleamont and Euphemia Potter. They'd speculated that he'd gone back to living with his parents. She only knew a little about the situation, but the Blacks didn't sound very nice.

Well. Regulus was alright.

I need to find out what Regulus knows, she thought. She was certain he knew something. He'd been cursed by Sally Dearborn at the start of last term, and he went round with the only people in the castle who would dare lay a finger on Sally.

He'd never to talk to Lily about it, of course, but maybe he'd let something slip to Sirius over the holidays.

"Impressive," said Lily. She sidled up to Sirius, who had just successfully Apparated for the third time. "Mind giving me some pointers? I'm having a bit of trouble…"

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Wondergirl, having trouble? Colour me surprised."

Lily made a face. "I hate magical travel."

"Ah," said Sirius. "You're not the first Muggle-born I've heard that from, actually."

"Really? I didn't know you made a habit of chatting with Muggle-borns."

"Technically, she was pure Muggle," said Sirius. "But I suppose you could still call her Muggle-born, since her parents are Muggles, as well. What say you?"

"Erm, I say, 'how did you meet a Muggle who travels by magic?' "

"Long story," said Sirius airily. "Really boring." He stuck out an arm for her to hold and lead her to an unoccupied spot in the room. "At your service, then. What part's giving you trouble?"

"Well — all of it, really, but that's not why I wanted to talk to you," said Lily. She hesitated, but nobody was paying them any mind. Across the room, James Potter was leaping from hoop to hoop like a ballerina, leaving Parvana Patil nearly in tears with laughter.

Sirius followed her gaze. "Is this about James? I'm not sure what to tell you — you had your chance, nearly six years of it, so if it's only now that you're realizing —"

"What?" said Lily. "No, I — why do people keep saying that?"

"I mean, when you go around telling everyone he saved your life…"

"Oh, my God," said Lily. "If telling the truth means I'm secretly in love with him —"

"Your words, not mine —"

"Har, har. Very funny."

Sirius lifted a shoulder, then spun gracefully on his heel. There was a thunderous crack, and he appeared five feet behind her.

"Would you stop that?" asked Lily, covering her ears. "I swear, you're trying to make me deaf on purpose —"

Sirius clutched his chest dramatically. "Wondergirl. I would never." He spun again but didn't disappear. At first, Lily thought he'd failed to Apparate, but then she realized he had silently and instantly moved several inches closer to her.

"How did you —"

He grinned. "I thought you didn't need my help to Apparate."

"I don't!"

He folded his arms behind his head. "So what's the deal, then?"

Lily took a breath. "Your brother."

Sirius' casual expression vanished. He twitched and then disappeared with a crack, reappearing at the other end of the Great Hall. Lily groaned and began to jog towards him.

"I'm not talking about Regulus with you," said Sirius when she had caught up to him.

"Why not?" panted Lily.

Sirius pointed a finger at her. "You are nothing but trouble for him." He turned on his heel and disappeared again. She didn't notice him reappear, so she stood on her tiptoes, scanning the Great Hall. Finally, a flash of movement near the staff table caught her eye.

Lily clenched her fists in determination, shut her eyes, and spun.

She heard a crack, and a strange pressure compressed her body from all sides, as if something were trying to squeeze her through a tube of toothpaste. She tried to draw a breath, but couldn't, and her heart began to pound in panic. The pressure increased until it was nearly unbearable; she couldn't see a thing, she couldn't breathe, surely her bones would be crushed —

Then the feeling stopped, and she stumbled into Sirius.

"Nice job," said Sirius as he steadied her. "Think you left a bit of fringe over by the Ravenclaws, though, look…"

Lily patted her hair, making a face. "That was awful."

"I like it," said Sirius stubbornly. "You'll get used to it; you just need to practise."

The thought of voluntarily subjecting herself to Apparition again made her shudder, and she changed the subject. "About Regulus — I just want to know… He didn't say anything to you, did he, over the holidays? About Sally Dearborn?"

Sirius blinked. "About Sally? No. Why?" An incredulous grin spread across his handsome face. "You don't think Regulus had something to do with what happened to her, do you?"

"Not — not him, necessarily, but that gang he goes round with, they might've —"

"Probably," said Sirius carelessly. "But there's no way Reg knows anything about it."

"Why do you say that?"

"Trust me," said Sirius. "He can't even bump into a suit of armour without apologizing. If he knew that his pals Mulciber, or Avery, or whoever, had offed Sally Dearborn? He'd be having nervous breakdowns in the corridors. He can't handle that kind of stress."

"I mean, I don't know if you've seen him around lately," said Lily, "but he's twitchier than Peter during a Defense exam."

"Nah, that's just Reg's baseline." Sirius waved a hand dismissively. "Honestly, Lily. He had nothing to do with it. Don't bother him about this."

"Don't bother him because he doesn't know anything? Or because you think I'm trouble?"

"Do you want an honest answer to that?"

"Always."

Sirius tilted his head, considering her. "Both, then. You've got a bit of a complex about saving people — especially poor, misguided Slytherins. Reg has got enough on his plate without you muddling him up further."

Lily was nearly speechless. "That's — that's just unbelievable. I do not have a complex —"

Sirius ticked examples off on his fingers. "You sided with Snivellus over James last spring, even though Snivellus spent the entire year showing you the type of person he was. When Regulus crashed my birthday party, you thought he was the one who needed protecting."

"Those two things are not related —"

"Sure they're not." He sounded bored. "Look, I'm not judging you. I appreciate your efforts, actually — don't think Reg has ever had a conversation with someone who wasn't a pure-blood before you. But you need to leave him alone."

She hated when people told her what to do. "And why should I?"

"Because if you don't, it's not going to end prettily." He spoke with certainty, as if he'd seen the future in his tea leaves. "Reg's got a weakness for you, and that's an enormous problem, because he is just like Severus."

He's got a weakness for you. Lily didn't like the way those words made her stomach flutter. "He's not like Severus. He doesn't — he doesn't believe…"

"I wouldn't be so sure," said Sirius darkly. "In any case, his beliefs are irrelevant."

"Then how can you say he's just like Sev?"

"Because they're both cowards," said Sirius bitterly. "Regulus might not be as gung-ho as Snape, but my parents have made him take sides, and he doesn't have the guts to change. Sorry."

He sounded so dismissive of his own brother. The scorn in his voice reminded her of Petunia; she'd probably said similar things about Lily.

"That isn't true." She felt like she needed to defend Regulus. "He's just confused."

"I know him better than you. Trust me — you're not going to change his mind. Not even if you become his little Muggle-born girlfriend."

Lily rankled at Sirius' condescending tone. He had some nerve. "If you're saying I shouldn't even try —"

"Exactly. It's not your job to save him."

"I'd think it'd be yours," snapped Lily, "seeing as he's your brother. But you seem to be running from that responsibility, too, aren't you?"

Sirius' haughty, bored expression vanished. Something dark twisted in his face, and he reached for his wand, looking murderous.

Lily took an involuntary step back. "Sorry. That was — I was out of line."

"Right," said Sirius, glaring at her. With what seemed like a great effort, he wrenched his hand away from his wand. "Right. Well. It just so happens that I've begun to take more responsibility for the sorry state of the Noble House of Black. Not that it's any of your business."

"It's really not," said Lily. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

Sirius' voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Apology accepted, Wondergirl."

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but he Apparated away before she could say anything else.

"Where's the map?" asked Sirius. He was sprawled in the lap of one of the mermaid statues in the prefects' bathroom. There was a warm towel on his forehead and another only loosely wrapped around his waist.

James and Peter were splashing about in the Olympic-sized bath, trying to dunk each other underwater. Remus lounged, fully-clothed, in a beach chair nearby, wearing sunglasses and reading a book.

James stopped wrestling with Peter just long enough to respond. "Come off it. I'm not taking out the map in here."

"Why not? It's Impermeable, isn't it?"

James, who wasn't wearing his glasses, shot a slightly cross-eyed look in Sirius' general direction. "Nothing's Impermeable when it comes to you."

"Too right," said Sirius proudly. The statue of the mermaid stroked his wet hair affectionately, and he beamed at her. "You can trust me, though. I just wanna work on it. Promise."

Peter spat out a mouthful of water and pushed James away from him. "Why can't you just relax for once? This is the last spa day we'll have until March, the bathroom's booked solid for the next month and a half…"

"Moony, back me up," commanded Sirius. "Tell them I've got good intentions."

Remus peered at him over his sunglasses. "I don't believe that for an instant."

"Traitors, the lot of you," said Sirius, though he was finding it hard to be cross, since the mermaid was now massaging his scalp. "What if I said it was for a noble cause?"

"You wanna start hexing the Slytherins again?" asked Peter hopefully. James sent a wave of water towards the back of his head and he spluttered indignantly. "What? Don't tell me you're not bored, we never do anything fun anymore —"

"It's nothing to do with Slytherin," said Sirius. "That's the whole point, actually."

Remus' thick eyebrows arched over the top of his sunglasses. "Do tell."

"Knew you'd be on my side, Moony," said Sirius. He blew a kiss towards Remus, who responded with a very rude hand gesture. "Oh, stop, you're offending the mermaid — anyway. You know Lily Evans, yeah?"

"Nope," said James.

"Never heard of her," said Peter.

"Who?" asked Remus.

Sirius exchanged an exasperated glance with the mermaid. "You lot think you're so funny."

Remus' lip twitched. "Something like that."

"Anyway," said Sirius impatiently. "Evans said something completely mental during our Apparition lesson the other day. She was going on about Regulus knowing something about whatever happened to Sally Dearborn, which is obviously untrue —"

"D'you reckon?" asked James, who was starting to look genuinely interested.

"Of course it's not true! Regulus is like — he's like one of those yappy dogs my Aunt Druella loves."

"He pees on furniture?" asked Peter.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I mean that he's harmless."

"All bark and no bite?" asked Remus.

"Exactly," said Sirius. "I was thinking, though... Evans' way off the mark, but I can see how one might think Reg's stupid Slytherin gang had something to do with whatever happened to Sally."

"They wouldn't dare," said Peter. "If Regulus is a Pomeranian, Mulciber's a — a… "

"Bulldog?" asked James.

"Yeah, that works," said Peter. "He's something fat and stupid, at least."

"You know," said Remus, turning a page in his book, "despite their fierce appearance and violent history, bulldogs are actually one of the gentlest breeds. They're much less vicious than Pomeranians, for instance."

Sirius groaned. "You are ruining my metaphor, Moony. Ruining it."

Remus blew him a kiss. The mermaid statue stopped stroking Sirius' hair; she crossed her arms and glared jealously at Remus.

"My point," said Sirius, trying not to laugh at the pouting statue, "is that Evans got me thinking about the power of the map."

"How d'you mean?" James' brow furrowed, making him look even more cross-eyed.

"Think about it," said Sirius. "If we can figure out how to track more than just my wet rag of a brother… If we could somehow get the map to show everyone at Hogwarts, all the time —"

Remus removed his sunglasses. "Merlin's wilted wand. That's —"

"Brilliant?" said Sirius. "I know."

"Er, sorry," said Peter, his head swivelling back and forth between them, "but could you explain in English, for those of us who don't happen to share your telepathic bond?"

"Isn't it obvious?" asked James. "If Sally's still in the castle, and we get the map working —"

"— We could find her," said Peter, his eyes widening.

Sirius nodded. "Reg's mates might not be complete saints, but they had nothing to do with whatever happened. We'll find Sally, win some points for the House Cup, maybe a medal or two from Dumbledore..."

"Unless," said Remus.

Sirius' towel nearly slipped off his waist as he got up from the mermaid's lap. "Unless what?"

"Well," said Remus slowly, "if we go poking our nose where it doesn't belong, we might not like what we find. Suppose it's not the heroic rescue you're imagining. That is — suppose we find what's left of her."

Sirius paused. He hadn't considered that.

James spoke first, his voice firm with conviction. "All the more reason to finish the map, then. What if we're the only ones who can bring her father closure?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, giving himself a little shake to recover his composure. "That's the spirit. You're in, then, Prongs?"

"'Course I am," said James. Wet curls flopped across his face as he jerked his head his bag, which lay at the edge of the bath. "Get out the map."

"I'm blushing," said Sirius. "You trust me to take it out in here, after all?"

"It's Impermeable, isn't it?"

"We'll find out," said Sirius. He grinned wickedly, clutching James' bag to his chest, and cannonballed into the bath.

Between schoolwork, Apparition lessons, and practising for the upcoming match against Hufflepuff, James was so busy that he hardly had time to spend with his mates, much less with Parvana. ("Nobody's making you train four hours a day," commented Sirius when James complained about this. James responded by Transfiguring the quill Sirius was holding into a giant centipede.)

Luckily for James, Parvana seemed to understand completely — in fact, a few weeks into the new term, she began to join him on the Quidditch pitch at six in the morning. While training, they barely spoke; their frosted breath to fill the space between them as they jogged, side-by-side, around the pitch.

James was pretty sure the comfort he felt with her was proof of their compatibility. After all, his father had always said Euphemia was his best friend, someone he could be completely himself around. Parvana was more or less James' best friend, too. After Sirius, Remus, Peter, and his parents, of course.

In some ways, his relationship with Parvana was even more platonic than his relationship with Sirius; after all, he'd seen Sirius naked on many occasions, but he still had no idea what Parvana looked like without her Quidditch leathers on.

"Do you think we talk about Quidditch too much?" James panted one morning as they jogged around the pitch.

Parvana let out a small huff of surprise. Her breath crystallized in the air. "Of course not. Why?"

"Just something Sirius said over the holidays." James tried to sound casual, which was difficult to do at the speed they were running.

"Well, what else would we talk about?"

"Exactly!" James clapped her on the shoulder, glad she saw things his way. Sirius was full of shite.

Parvana didn't seem quite as reassured as he was, however. Her thin brows furrowed, and as they finished their lap around the pitch, she sprinted ahead of him to run the next one by herself.

This didn't concern James in the least; they often trained separately. She respected his space, and he respected hers. It was just one of the reasons why they made a fantastic couple.

"I might marry her, you know," he told Peter and Remus during Care of Magical Creatures one afternoon. They were working with Diricawls: large, plump birds which couldn't fly, but were able to vanish and reappear at will.

Remus frowned at the Diricawl James was stroking. "I hate to disappoint you, but I think that one's a male."

"That's what you're concerned about?" said Peter. "Not the fact that interspecies marriage is illegal in twenty-seven countries?"

Remus hummed thoughtfully. "Times change, Wormtail. It wasn't so long ago that troll-human hybrids were considered brainless abominations. But you need only look at Mulciber to know that's all wrong, don't you?"

A bark of laughter sounded from the other side of the pen. Sirius, who was trimming the talons of an impressively large Diricawl under Professor Kettleburn's supervision, wagged a finger at Remus.

"Bad Moony," said James, ruffling Remus' hair. "Don't distract Sirius, he'll end up agitating the Diricawl and it'll take off Kettleburn's last remaining limb…"

Peter still looked worried. "You weren't really talking about an interspecies relationship. Were you, Prongs?"

"Wormy. What d'you think?"

"Okay, good," said Peter. "Because my great-uncle got involved with a garden gnome, and let me tell you, that was a messy divorce…" He smiled a small, proud grin when James and Remus laughed.

"I'll have to write myself a reminder about that," said Remus. "No dating a garden gnome. Diricawls, though…"

"Can't help who you love, Moony," said James.

"I'm well aware," said Remus. "Keep up that open-minded attitude and you might even be best man at the wedding."

"You lot are so weird," said Peter. "Remind me again why I associate with you?"

James hooked an arm around Peter's shoulder and whispered conspiratorially into his ear. "You tolerate our presence because otherwise we will go squealing to McGonagall about the unregistered Animagus we've spotted scurrying around the corridors at night —"

"You wouldn't!" Peter pushed James away.

Remus nodded gravely, holding a handful of grain out to the Diricawl. "Looks like you're stuck with us."

"It's not all bad," added James. "You can be the flower girl at Remus' wedding."

Peter made a face. "Tell me you two aren't really going to marry a Diricawl."

"Absolutely," said Remus, but James said, "No, are you kidding? I'm going to marry Parvana!"

That earned him a more confused look from Peter than even the talks of interspecies marriage had. Across the pen, Sirius stopped trimming the talons of his Diricawl and stared at James as if he had just said something foul.

Remus recovered first. "That is certainly one option of many available to you —"

Peter put it more bluntly. "You're joking."

"'Course I'm not," said James breezily. "We're a perfect match. Completely compatible in every way."

"Look," said Peter. "No judgement, alright? But you're bonkers if you think you two make a good couple." He put an absentminded hand the Diricawl, which gave an irritated shriek and vanished into thin air.

"Sorry," said James, "but I think calling someone 'bonkers' is the definition of judgement —"

"Have you got your leg over her yet?" said Remus with the same tone one would use to ask if he had picked up milk from the shop.

"Moony," said James reproachfully. "That is private information. Five points from Gryffindor —"

"— You are not a prefect —"

"— And for your information, yes, I have. One hundred per cent. And it was excellent."

Remus merely looked at James. James met his eyes and gave a determined little nod, trying desperately not to smile. Remus said nothing, continuing to hold James' gaze. The Diricawl reappeared at Remus' side and nuzzled against him, chirping sleepily. Remus gave its head a scratch, maintaining eye contact with James all the while.

Finally, James couldn't contain himself any longer, and he broke into a laugh. "Alright, alright — look, Parv and I haven't gotten that far yet. Satisfied?"

Remus looked pleased with himself. "You're a terrible liar."

"Shut up."

"You two have at least snogged, though, right?" asked Peter.

"Erm," said James, "why does it matter?"

"You've been dating since November," said Peter slowly. "We're in the middle of February now, and you haven't even snogged?"

James couldn't believe his so-called mates were being so thick about this. At the other end of the pen, Sirius was so intent on hearing James' answer that he clipped his Diricawl's talon too close to the quick. The large bird shrieked and launched itself onto Professor Kettleburn's chest.

James made a rude hand gesture at Sirius, who was now frantically trying to pry the Diricawl off of Professor Kettleburn. "Serves you right, you git. And yes, Wormy, we've snogged."

The slight raise of Remus' eyebrows contained a thousand unsaid words. "And?"

"And it was — it was fine. I mean, it wasn't, you know…"

"World-changing?" asked Remus.

"Are you gay?" asked Peter.

"Only for Sirius," said James. Sirius stopped tugging at the Diricawl long enough to give James a wink.

"So you snogged Parvana, and it was okay," said Peter. "That's something. I guess."

"Look, our connection goes deeper than snogging, alright? It's a spiritual connection we've got, not a physical one. Which is how I know she's my soulmate."

"I'm not surprised you don't have a physical connection," said Peter. "She's awful at snogging."

James bumped Peter's shoulder so hard that he stumbled into their Diricawl, which promptly disappeared again. "How would you know?"

"Third year," replied Peter at once, his expression wistful. "I dated her for a week in between Marlene and Lily."

Remus' eyes widened. "That's right. I'd forgotten Marlene still thought she liked blokes in our third year."

"Not after dating Wormtail, though," James sniggered, and it was Peter's turn to protest.

"That is so unfair, the two things weren't correlated at all, she told me so herself —"

"Funny," said a voice. Lily was passing them on her way to fill her bucket with more grain. "That's not what Marlene told me."

Peter gawped at her as she floated off. "That's not — there's no way — she promised she'd been thinking about it for ages…"

Lily gave an innocent little shrug, and James laughed. "It's time to face the facts, Pete," he said. "You helped Marlene come to terms with her sexuality, and I'm going to marry Parvana Patil. That's just the way things are."

Gryffindor's match against Hufflepuff took place on the last Friday in February. The morning air was bitingly cold, but the first rays of the sun seemed brighter than usual, as though promising that warmer weather was on its way. There were even a few clusters of white snowdrop flowers along the path to the Quidditch pitch.

Unfortunately, James found it difficult to enjoy these first signs of spring, because Parvana broke up with him before they had even reached the changing room.

She grabbed his arm when they had nearly reached the Quidditch pitch. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Always," said James. He waved the rest of the team on. "You lot go get changed, we'll meet you there."

Marlene wolf-whistled, and Peregrine Flint clapped James on the back as he passed. "Nothing like a little pre-match snog, eh?"

"Shut it, Flint," said James good-naturedly. Once the rest of the team had darted ahead, he joined Parvana, who was hovering near a row of seats and clasping her hands together so tightly her fingers were going white. "Something the matter, Parv?"

"Erm," she said, not meeting his gaze.

James frowned. Parvana was usually full of calm, confident energy before a match. An unpleasant thought began to form in his mind. "Did you forget to stretch again last night? Because I told you, if you want to achieve your full range of motion today —"

"I stretched," said Parvana. "This is something different."

"Oh, good." James relaxed. He could deal with anything else.

Parvana's dark eyes finally met his own, and she took a deep breath. "I think we should break up."

James blinked. "Wait — what? You're joking, right? Did Peregrine put you up to this?" He craned his neck, trying to see if Peregrine Flint was hiding in the stands. "Very funny, Flint, wherever you are, trying to put me off my game —"

"It wasn't Peregrine's idea," said Parvana apologetically. "I just — I've been thinking about what you said last week. About how all we do is talk about Quidditch. And I think you're right."

James couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Parv. I wasn't complaining about that. I think it's brilliant."

"I know you do," she said. "It is nice. But my sister, Priyanka, in Hufflepuff… she's got a boyfriend, too, and their relationship is a bit different from ours. They snog, for example. A lot. And I just… I think maybe I'd like a relationship that was more like Priyanka's."

"We snog," said James defensively.

"We've snogged twice," said Parvana. "And I had to practically beg the second time."

"Because I thought you were joking!"

"Why would I joke about wanting to kiss you?"

"I dunno," he said. "Sirius does it all the time."

Parvana shook her head. "I'm sorry, James. I really do think you're a nice bloke. I just think we'd be better off as mates."

"But we're —" He broke off. It probably wasn't a good time to tell her he thought they were soulmates. "You're certain, then?"

"I think so," said Parvana. "I'm really sorry."

James chewed on his lip. This whole conversation wasn't making much sense. "What about the match?"

"What about it?"

"You should've waited till after the match to break up with me," he said. "I'm gonna be in my head now. What if we lose?"

Parvana wrapped her arms around her waist like she was trying to hug herself. "I didn't mean to throw you off. I just — I thought I should tell you as soon as I was certain. This is more important than the match, isn't it?"

"No," he said. "Nothing's more important than Quidditch."

"This is!" said Parvana. "We're talking about our real lives, our relationship. It matters."

Privately, James still thought that Quidditch was more important, but it didn't seem the time to tell Parvana that. "Maybe we're incompatible."

She bit her lip. "Maybe."

"Alright," he said. He ran both his hands through his hair, trying to get a handle on himself. "Alright. So we're broken up. Fine. Will you promise to still catch the Snitch for me?"

She smiled a little. "Of course I will."

But Parvana didn't catch the Snitch.

This wasn't entirely her fault, much as James wished it was. Rather, it was the result of him making several less-than-optimal calls during the second half of the match. Mostly he'd been trying to get the team into formations that kept Parvana as far away from him as possible — so that she wouldn't distract him with her braid and her aloofness and her… desire to snog. Whatever that was about.

After the match — they lost to Hufflepuff, one hundred and seventy to ninety — James didn't stick around to console the team. Instead, he sprinted back to Gryffindor Tower to retrieve the Cloak and a bottle of Firewhisky that had been collecting dust under Peter's bed.

His friends found him several hours later. He was in stag form, laying dejectedly in Hagrid's vegetable patch, an empty bottle of Firewhisky beside him.

"Oh, dear." Sirius stuffed a fist into his mouth in an effort not to grin. "What's gotten into you, Prongs?"

The stag let out a horrible bleating noise, and James turned back into himself, arms and legs still sprawled into the dirt. "Thought I'd take a leaf out of your book. Wallow in self-pity."

Sirius helped James into a sitting position, which made his head spin rather unpleasantly. "No offence, Prongs, but you don't do the whole tortured loner thing all that well."

"I've been alone in the cold for ages. All alone… and it's been so cold…"

"It's been at least an hour and a half, I'll give you that," said Peter.

"Hagrid thought you were dying," added Remus. "He burst into the Great Hall during dinner, sobbing about a majestic stag lying injured among his cabbage. He's been drinking heavily as well, actually. Gathering up the courage to put you out of your misery."

"Good," moaned James. "Let him. This life is too hard."

"Come on, now, Prongs," said Sirius gently. He squatted and took James' face in his hands. "None of that. Hufflepuff's only ahead by twenty points. If they lose to Slytherin, the Cup could still be ours…"

"Sod the Cup," muttered James, and his friends exchanged looks of alarm.

Peter put a hand on James' forehead. "I think he's got a fever."

"Prongs, mate," said Sirius slowly, "you're not out here moping because we lost?"

James shook his head, and the nausea that followed made him immediately regret doing so. "I lost. I lost the person… the most important person… Besides you, Pads," he amended, giving Sirius a cross-eyed smile.

"Ah," said Remus. "Parvana?"

"Don't say her name," gasped James. "It hurts me. It hurts… right here…" He pointed at his stomach, which was indeed hurting quite a lot.

A wry smile twisted Sirius' mouth. "That'll be the Firewhisky, mate."

" 'Mate,' " repeated James. "I thought we were soulmates. But we're not. No souls. Only mates. She —" He listed to the side; Sirius barely managed to jump out of the way before James was sick all over Hagrid's cabbage.

"Never mind," said Remus as he Vanished the sick with practised efficiency. "The cabbage probably appreciates the extra nutrients."

"Glad to be of service," groaned James. His broken heart hurt a little less after vomiting.

"Did she say why she wanted to end things?" asked Sirius, sitting gingerly back down beside James.

"Said we didn't snog," said James. "Complete tosh."

"It is a load of tosh," said Sirius with the tone of someone reassuring a toddler. "You two snogged loads."

"It was indecent," agreed Remus.

"Disgusting," said Peter.

"We did!" said James. "We snogged loads. Well. At least twice."

"Twice is plenty," said Sirius firmly. "You're better off without her, Prongs. If Parvana wants to go on and date a pair of lips, she can be my guest. She doesn't know what she's missing."

"Too right," said Peter.

James made a noise that was half-hiccup, half-affirmative grunt. "Too right."

"That's the spirit," said Sirius. "You'll bounce back. You always do."

"Yeah," said James. "I don't need her. I've got you lot." With some effort, he managed to focus on them. "I love you."

"We love you too," said Remus. "Even when you smell like vomit and deer."

James got unsteadily to his feet. "Think I'm gonna… go for a run in the Forest. Clear my mind."

"I'm coming," said Sirius at once. "You'll need someone to distract Hagrid if he comes charging in with that crossbow of his."

Peter had already vanished, replaced by a plump rat which squeaked something that sounded uncannily like 'me, too'.

Once James had transformed, he gave Remus a look that very clearly said, Are you coming or what?

"Go on, then," said Remus, scrambling onto the stag's back. "Let see if we can find the centaurs this time."

A/N: In case you missed it, I posted a Jily Christmas one-shot over the holidays! Check it out if you like Christmas fluff/the 'second chances' trope/an AU where everybody lives :)