Wow, another one-shot non-tragedy. This doesn't happen folks. This is based off conversation between me and my boyfriend on why Gin smiles so much. Who better to illustrated this than 11th division? Goddammit I love those guys.

Bleach and characters (C) Kubo Tite

"Hey, Ken-chan?" Yachiru inquired. She sat down with 11th division for their evening meal. It was a messy and rowdy occasion as usual, as the captain slurped down his third bowl of chicken udon.

"What?" he asked, draining the bowl of soup in one gulp.

"Why does that creepy fox man always smile?" She asked, playing with one noodle with the end of a chopstick.

"Eh? Gin Ichimaru? Dunno, never really thought about it. Oi, Yumichika! Ikkaku! Why does Gin smile so much?" He shouted a little down the table at his two seated officers.

The fifth seat frowned prettily, "I heard he was born like that."

Ikkaku snorted, "Born like that? Che, betcha he's thinking some really perverted thoughts."

"I also heard that his mouth was slit open wider as a child and his mouth healed to become like a smile." Kenpachi scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"I heard Iba say that he's retarded." Yachiru piped up.

"Prob'bly, but he's too abnormally normal to be normally abnormal. Or is it the other way around?" Kenpachi replied, confusing himself.

"I'm tellin' ya, he's a pervert thinkin' perverted thoughts!" Ikkaku growled. Yumichika folded his arms indignantly.

"What evidence do you have he's thinking perverted thoughts?" He demanded. By this time the rest of eleventh division had tuned their ears to the conversation.

"Kira and his lease-Come-And-Violate-Me face! Anyone with a perverted mind would be thinking about that face."

"Are you saying you've thought about that face, oh Mind-As-Pure-As-White San?" Yumichika quirked an eyebrow. Ikkaku snorted the sake he was drinking up is nose.

"Eh? Hell no! I think about tits! Big round bouncy tits that-"

"Matsumoto!" Kenpachi snapped his fingers as an idea popped into his head, stopping tit rant before it again momentum.

"Ummm, we all know Mastumoto has big…" Yumichika laughed nervously.

"No ya idiot, I know the reason why that bastard smiles so much."

"And?" The rest of eleventh division chimed, leaning in eagerly.

"Matsumoto and Ichimaru are good friends, right?" He said, "What if they were really good friends. Really good friends if ya catch my drift."

"That certainly explains a lot." Yumichika nodded in agreement with the rest of the division.

"Explain what?" Yachiru frowned, unable to catch Kenpachi's drift.

"Oh man, I'd be smiling fer a year with just one second of those pressed against my face." Ikkaku already smiling with the thought.

"Pressed what against your face?" Yachiru whined, still not getting what was happening. Yumichika wrapped an arm around the small fukutaicho.

"Let's just say, Yachiru Fukutaicho, that Matsumoto Fukutaicho has certain assets which pleases men greatly." He informed the little one.

"Ken-chan, what is he talking about?" she asked her giant role-model.

"I'll tell ya later. Eat yer vegetables." He said, sipping some sake.

"Hai!"