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Donutmaster: H…hello! C…can you hear me! Oh Lord…they're…they've just…AHHHH! CRASH

Lawyer Number 1: Donutmaster?

Donutmaster: I didn't do it! I swear! I wasn't even in the country! I don't know Judge: You have been accused of ALMOST FORGETTING TO WRITE THE DISCLAIMER. Write it now or everything you own, up to and including your soul will become property of my clients, CAMELOT!

Donutmaster: I am, in no way, claiming the ownership or creation of GOLDEN SUN or any of THE GOLDEN SUN SEQUELS!

Chapter 13: Why Mornings Suck, Lessons in Courtship, and Jenna's Favorite Food

Dawn broke over Vault, its golden rays washing the town in a warm embrace. Most people would say that the dawn was beautiful, an unmistakable work of art by the gods. They would say that dawn was a special time, something to truly appreciate and treasure forever…

They only said that when they had a full night's rest.

Jenna groaned and cursed. As the rules of life dictate, the only opening of the curtain is training a beam of focused sunlight directly into her eyes, as if the sun had just burst through the door and screamed 'WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE SO LET'S MAKE IT AS NICE AS WE CAN FOR OTHER PEOPLE!'

With another swearword, Jenna pulled the covers over her head and groaned, letting the universe know that she was not happy with it and would gladly knee it in the groin if the universe had one to knee. She had no idea what time it was, and she couldn't care less. With a mighty moan, she stretched herself out on the bed and, with a huge yawn, sat up to face the day and maybe, since she was miffed, stick a dagger in its ribs.

She heard a snore and looked over at Mitch, who was still in a deep sleep. With exaggerated care, she leaned over and ran her hand covetously down his cheek and kissed him lightly on the forehead. She quickly pulled away as he squirmed and groaned, afraid that she had awoken the exhausted boy. She stood very still until he stopped and let out a content sigh.

Jenna's backpack had been more or less decimated in the most recent attack by the assassins. It sat forlornly in the corner, giving the vague impression of a sad, forgotten, and mangy puppy. In a gesture that had Jenna convinced that she was going to marry him someday, Mitch offered to carry her things indefinitely in his bag, which also allowed Jenna a chance to analyze the thing. She was convinced that the thing used some sort of psynergy to work. Mitch, as mentioned earlier in the story, had absolutely everything in it, much like her grandmother's purse. Need a frying pan? No problem! The only thing you needed to know was how big you wanted it, as he had about six in there. An extra sword? Mitch probably had one in there somewhere. Bored? Mitch had a small library worth of books in his backpack, complete with a file of call numbers.

Jenna snapped the buckle and flipped the top of the bag up and behind, revealing her own clothing. She rummaged around a bit and sighed. One bad thing about adventuring was that you had to pack light, and Jenna had only 3 outfits. Her nightgown that she had on was bloodstained. She sighed and made a mental note to go get a new one sometime, preferably silk.

The second was her 'on the road' outfit. Jenna had read about other female heroines, but she always thought that it was incredibly stupid to go saving the world in armor that resembled lingerie and covered just about the same amount of skin. She wore a soft short-sleeved shirt and a pair of shorts, followed by a hardened leather vest and knee-length skirt, a layer of the same but in chainmail, and her breastplate, shin guards, shoulder plates, and a good stout pair of leather boots. She admitted that the ensemble wasn't about to win the 'Sexiest Heroine Costume' award, and she thought this might help to get a point through to some people who where dense as lead, but it could turn away arrows due to the special metal that Kraden added to it, so while those other heroines where out prancing about getting stabbed because they where wearing nothing but leather underwear, Jenna was nice and safe and at least not getting stabbed as much.

The third and final get-up was her town clothes. She pulled out the matched shirt, vest, and skirt and quickly went into the bathroom. There she found the increasingly familiar knobs and the weird sprayer head and turned the left one with a calculated twist. This thing was called 'Running Water' and it had only been invented only a few months before by probably the only half-crazed inventor on all of Weyard, Kraden. This was a curious expedition on his part to make something that everyone actually wanted. One time, Kraden attempted to explain to the party how 'Running Water' actually worked, but all Jenna heard where unfamiliar phrases such a 'Siphon Effect' and 'Soldering Flux'. As far as Jenna was concerned, the thing worked by magic.

As Jenna sidled into the spray, she yelped from the heat and stood there, her wince softening and she let out a moan of pleasure after a long moment. After another long moment she stretched and found the soap and started to wash while humming a cheerful little tune to herself. She got carried away and broke into her own improvised song.

"We went to the Lighthouses, to keep the baddies at bay," she sang, "Away we went to save everyone's day! The bad thing was that I was all alone, Even Isaac wanted me to go home! The lighthouses went up with tremendous flares; the trouble is it just wasn't fair! I was still all allllllooooonnnneee! I was still all alone!"

Jenna sang into her fist and started belting the song out a full force.

"At home I felt like there was no sun, 'cause my love life was all but none! Adventur'n left little time for antics such as love divine! That still wasn't fair, 'cause Isaac and Mia where now a pair, now two of a kind! Ivan and Sheba felt love's grasp from the start, but why can't I feel the pleasures of the heart? When, ohhh WHEN would that boy, ohhh that special boy, come UNTO me and love me like I was his own? My answer came to me one day, its better than I could ever say! For that day my love saved my life, saved me from my everlasting strife..."

By now Jenna slowed down and was so moved by her own song that tears flowed out of her rich brown eyes and mixed with the hot water of the shower

"He was like an angel," she rather said than sang, "From the skies above. Strong and shy, but with a heart as pure as a crystal of heaven. If only he would show me that he felt the same as me…"

"When will that be…? When will he finally say that he loves me…?"

"Why can't that be…?" Jenna ended with her voice as quiet and soft as a down pillow.

She stood amidst the spray for another two minutes, motionless and quiet, until she finally stepped out from the basin, halfheartedly toweled herself and, still quite wet, struggled into her clothing.

She had just finished and was adjusting her skirt when there was a tentative knock at the door.

"What?" she snapped impatiently. The noise had distracted her from her brooding.

There was a pause before Mitch said through the door, "I'm sorry Jenna…" he said in a hurt whisper, "I didn't mean to make you angry…"

The bathroom door flew open, hitting him right on the nose as it did so.

"Angry?" Jenna said, genuinely shocked, "Did you hear that song I just sang?"
"Doe…" Mitch managed through the pain.

"There's no way I can be angry with you!" Jenna had lost control and she listened in terror at what she was saying, "Mitch! I want you to know that I have ever since we met and forever will lo…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR NOSE!"

The cry rang throughout the inn, waking whatever inhabitants that hadn't woken up yet. In one swift move, Jenna threw Mitch's hand away and cradled his head in her hands as blood started dripping slowly down them.

One of Jenna's ways of presenting affection to her friends, and especially her new boyfriend, whether or not Mitch knew it, was to almost panic when any of them got hurt. With Mitch, however, many things that where out of bounds with just her friends where now completely legal, so she saw no problem with planting a kiss on his injured nose and if she missed and hit his lips instead, it was close enough. Every step forward she took, Mitch took one backwards until he had tripped on something and continued backwards crab-style.

"What happened Mitch?" she asked. Mitch peered at her oddly.

"You obened the door anb hit be," he said matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry Mitch," she said truthfully, "Want me to make it better?"
Mitch rolled his eyes, "How can you bake it better?"

"Like this."

Jenna brought one hand up and used one finger to touch the wing of his nose. A little wave of bright orange energy flowed up from her outstretched finger and the bleeding stopped and Mitch nose returned to its normal, healthy, slightly pinkish hue.

"Umm…thanks Jenna," he said, "Thank you."
"Do I detect sarcasm?" Jenna asked brightly.

"N…no!" Mitch cried.

"Aww…" Jenna sighed, letting the shocked boy go, "That's too bad. I like sarcasm in a guy! It makes me laugh!"

"Am I interrupting something?" asked a vaguely amused voice.

Jenna and Mitch simultaneously looked to see Mia perched in the hall, leaning against their door. She looked at them and laughed.

"What?" Jenna said. Then she looked down.

She was still partly soaked and her clothing was in several ways jostled. In her concern, she had managed to get Mitch's upper body against the foot of one of the beds, where he sat as if he was bracing himself against the biggest earthquake in history while she had managed to sit on his legs, leaning until her face was five inches away from his. By now she bolted upright with a slight tint of red in her face, but she didn't seem really embarrassed as she buttoned the last two buttons of her shirt.

"Mia," she said seriously, "What do you want?"
Mia shook a finger at her in good spirited taunting.

"Ah ah ah!" she chuckled, "You know you shouldn't be doing things like that so early in a relationship!"

"Why not?" Jenna sneered, "You and Isaac made out."

Mia went 'Pfah!'

"Name once!"

"Kalay Inn, seventeen days ago, seven oh clock and fourteen minutes past the hour,"

Jenna snarled triumphantly, "Location: Under the tree in the back of the inn. You said that you had lost you necklace outside and summoned Isaac to help you look for it. Seven minutes later I followed to check if you had any luck. I saw the entire thing. I started taking notes and…"
"All right! Point taken…" Mia said, somewhat shocked.

Mitch stood up and watched as Jenna wrapped an arm around his waist and chuckled.

"Well," she said triumphantly, "Is there anything else you'd like to say, or can we get back to business?"

"Oh yeah?" Mia struggled for a comeback, "Well you…Mitch…you're...damn!"

Mia, a beaten woman, stormed off while fuming and muttering to herself.

There was a long pause before anyone said anything.

"Jenna?"

"Yes Mitch?"

"What was that all about?"

"Oh, nothing," Jenna replied, squeezing him lightly and sighing, "What do you want to do today before we go on the road again?"

Mitch paused. He wanted to do something nice for Jenna. Here she was, keeping him nice and warm, despite the fact that he was warm enough. Mitch guessed that she really didn't want him to catch cold. That deserved something nice.

"You wanna go practice the bow with me?" he asked. He carefully scanned Jenna's face. There was a hint of disappointment but she nevertheless smiled brightly and said, "I'd love to!"

"Y'know, on that topic…"
Mitch went over to his backpack and even though it was open, there seemed to be a completely different set of objects in it. Mitch rummaged around for a long moment in which, to Jenna's horror, he put his entire upper body into the pack. Jenna jumped as a crash issued from the thing, and an irritated Mitch threw an entire breastplate up and out and it clattered to a halt near Jenna's feet.

Finally Mitch came out, holding something long wrapped in soft, pink silk. There was a crudely tied red bow on the top. After throwing the armor back into the backpack, which resulted in a smash of metal upon metal and a landslide of sound that was eventually muffled as Mitch closed the pack, he stood and shyly handed the thing to her.

"Oh Mitch!" Jenna gasped, "This is so sweet!" Tears formed in her deep chocolate eyes as she took the oblong object. A few of them landed on the material, and she watched the moisture soak through, "I…I don't know what to say!"

Eventually Jenna looked up at Mitch. He was smiling shyly at her and he almost jumped when she suddenly threw an arm around his neck and, standing on her toes, buried her chin into his shoulder, but in a nice way.

As Jenna sighed happily, Mitch thought in the privacy of his own head, Thank you Isaac, Garet, and Ivan…

A Few Days Earlier

It was a relatively normal night at the fanciest restaurant / dance hall in Kalay and probably on the whole of Weyard, the Frock Lennieso Vu y Su Kaiser, which translated into the ancient language as 'Big Lennie's House of Culinary Stuff'.

Luckily, none of the customers knew this.

Anyway, this restaurant was the epitome of grace, atmosphere, and price. Isaac could buy himself a ship for the cost of the soup alone but ever since they had saved the world, money really wasn't that much of a problem.

Right now, the diners where enjoying the scene on the dance floor.

"No, no, NO!" Garet shouted, attracting the attention of many of the other diners, "You don't do that!"

"But I did what you told me to do!" protested a confused Mitch. He was wearing an impromptu suit as the only one in the tailor's shop at nine o' clock was an inept apprentice. The tie was a little crooked and his hair was quickly styled into what would have been an attractive fashion except that it had a barely controlled chaos for most of his life and had a memory that not even super-extra-strength hairspray could totally eradicate. At the start it wasn't too bad but now it was almost back to its natural state, which surprised Garet because the spray usually kept his hair up for weeks at a time.

Garet now ran a hand through said hair in frustration and closed his eyes and sighed as he said, "Normal men don't stop their dates in mid-speech to take notes Mitch…"

"I like to be through," Mitch replied sulkily.

"Well, don't." Garet said flatly, "Alright Isaac, show him how it's done!"

Isaac nodded, wearing his own suit that actually fit and turned to Mia, who was the test subject. He was wearing a name tag that said 'Mitch'. She was wearing what Jenna normally wore in these kinds of situations and had also had a tag. 'Jenna' was written on it. Isaac, or rather 'Mitch', grabbed her hands and gave her a winning smile.

"I had a really great night with you Jenna," Isaac said, "It was really great…"

Mia blushed, "I had fun tonight too Mitch," They got closer.

"Can I give you a good night kiss?"

"Yes."

They shared a quick kiss and then Isaac wheeled about and pointed at Mitch.

"That's how you do it!" he said triumphantly. He stepped away and pushed Mitch towards Mia, "Now you try!"
Mitch paused, "Do I have to kiss her?"

"Why not?" Mia asked in mock defensiveness, "What? Am I not good enough to kiss?"
"No but…I thought…Isaac and you…"

"She's just kidding around with you," Garet interrupted, "It's good practice. Now can we please get this show on the road? Places everyone!"
"Do I have to hold this thing forever!" said an irritated voice. Behind Mitch and Mia was a door that served as a prop item. Ivan's head poked to the side. On his forehead was a name tag bearing the legend 'Door'.

"Just a bit more and then we'll move on to the second date," Garet replied, "But until then, stop complaining and hold up the damn door. Let's go people!"

Mitch turned to Mia and swallowed.

"Jenna," he said, "I…had a really fun time with you tonight…"
"Wanna have a fun time all night?" Mia laughed.

Mitch stopped dead in his tracks. Garet burst out in laugher and Isaac stood with the blank expression of a male whose girlfriend, even though he had directed her to do so, has just openly hit on someone else.

"That's not fair!" he whined, "You didn't say that to him!" He gestured to Isaac.

Mia shrugged, "Garet said I should try to be more in character, don't blame me."

Mitch looked terrified, "Would Jenna really say that?"

"I've known that girl for a year more than you have and there's a pretty good chance she'll say that…" Mia replied.

"Alright," Garet said, "Let's just try again and Mia…uhh…try to be less in character…"

"Got it," Mia said, tossing her hair for no apparent reason, "Ready."

"My back hurts!"
"Shut up Ivan! Okay, ACTION!"

"I had a really great night tonight Jenna," Mitch said.

"Yeah, I did too," 'Jenna' replied, "And I wish we could go out again sometime…"

Mitch tried to smile, "How about…maybe we could…perhaps dinner…?"
Garet sighed again, "Let's just skip to Gifts…" he said wearily. There was a moment of confusion as Isaac retrived the 'training gift' and the scraping made by Ivan as he took the door back to the carpenter's shop. One more moment later, the hubbub of a busy restaurant came back.

"Alright," Isaac said scholarly, handing Mitch a box.

It was red, Mitch observed. It was excruciatingly red, complete with a pink border and lace trailing the very edge. Mitch noticed that it rattled when he shook it and it was also very shiny. The redness was actually a metallic foil.

It was heart shaped.

"Chocolates?" Mitch asked, "Are you sure that Jenna likes chocolates?"

They all gawked at him. It was unbelievable how many chocolate candies and cans of chocolate frosting and containers of Choco-Chocolate Chip Ice cream have vanished off of tables, out of freezers, and even out of hands in a whirlwind of brown hair and a distant cry of "MINE!". The only thing to do was to chase Jenna and, with any luck, she hadn't already eaten it all. Many a time has Jenna's bedroom door been slammed open, only to reveal the girl sitting, surrounded by candy wrappers and empty tins with a huge grin on her face and a ring of chocolate around her mouth and would always say, "Who, me?" in a sickeningly innocent voice.

"I will pretend that you didn't just say that," Garet said smoothly, "Now, hold it behind your back. No not like that! Like this!"

Present

Mitch was still confused at Garet's explanation from there on. Apparently there was a special way of holding something behind your back so that just enough of it showed to portray something but was still hidden well enough so that the girl wouldn't know exactly what it was. After many tortured hours of thinking about it, Mitch decided to just give up and just give it to her.

Also, he had to actually find the right gift for Jenna. A girl who could hum a happy little maiden-esque tune while at the same time removing from a surprised monster its dignity, limbs, and life was not the easiest woman to shop for. Mitch had rejected the rest of the party's ideas, reasoning that a sword made of chocolate was as effective of a siege weapon that shot huge marshmallows. (Anita "Sweetheart" Hermon, originally from the forgotten town of Bangdocdoc, designed such novel weapons as the Toffee Spear and the Gummy Worm Ballistae. She died in a tragic accident during her work on her masterpiece, The Chocolate Siege Tower. During weapons testing, Anita neglected to realize that chocolate was not an adequate construction material in desert Bangdocdoc, which frequently reached temperatures of over 100 degrees in the daytime. She died in the resulting tidal wave, winning the award for 'Happiest Death'. Because of this, confectionary warfare never really caught on.) Instead, Mitch left for two hours and came back with a wrapped package and absolutely refused to tell anyone what it was.

Finally, Jenna tore herself away long enough to energetically untie the bow and unfold the package, setting the silk aside. Inside was a large walnut box, about four feet long with a brilliant metal clasp and border. She eagerly reached for the clasp and it clicked open. She then raised the lid with an impatient grin…

She almost burst into tears. She picked up the item out of its case and sat on the bed with it in both her hands, looking down and crying softly.

"Jenna?" Mitch asked urgently, "Are you alright?"

Jenna looked up at him.

"A bow…" she said softly, plucking the string a few times, "A real bow…"

Mitch stood for a moment, puzzled.

"Yes." He said finally, unsure if he had done the right thing.

"I've always wanted one," Jenna went on dreamily, inspecting the craftsmanship, "Always wanted to be like you…"

"The bowyer didn't have many jobs to do," Mitch explained, sitting down next to the stunned girl, "So I had him make that for you. It's got a real silk bowstring y'know." He added, wiggling his eyebrows conspiratorially, as if this was an innuendo.

"Always wanted…" Jenna sighed, "Are…are you going to teach me how to use it?"

Mitch replied, "Yes."

"Is it easier to pull than yours?"

Mitch replied again with, "Yes."

"When?"

"Umm, today?"

"Sounds good to me!"

With that, Jenna gathered up the bow and its case in one arm, and pulled Mitch along by his wrist. When they got downstairs,

Lawyer Number 1: You have also been accused of NOT UPDATING THIS STORY, CAUSING YOUR READERS TO SUFFER WITHDRAWL AND PROBABLY DIE.

Donutmaster: But I made this chapter extra long!

Judge: True, this has been taken into consideration and your sentence will be lighter…Your sentence will be 1 hour with Jenna and she can do whatever she wants to you.

Donutmaster: Pale Face Whaa? How is that lighter?

Judge: We will not let her take her whip in with her.

Jenna: DAMN IT!

NOTE TO READERS: I really do apologize for this taking so long. The next chapter (should) come sooner.